Quantcast
Channel: A Wasted Life
Viewing all 711 articles
Browse latest View live

Harry Reems, Part IX: Addendum II (1972)

$
0
0
Way back in March 2013, when the studly and hirsute Golden Age porn star
Harry Reems (27 Aug 1947 – 19 Mar 2013) died, we began our long, fat look at his tool career and films: a full 7 lengthy blog entries! (Links to each are found bellow.) And while length is almost as much fun as girth, by the time we got to Part VII (1986-2013) we were really ready to roll over and go to sleep. Which is why we never got around to finishing the already-started Part VIII: Addendum Parts I – 4, which looked at the films that we somehow missed or skipped in our extended and meaty Parts I through VII. And then we went and lost the stick we had our Harry Reems file on (a lesson in backing documents up, that was).
 
But recently, while trying to distract ourselves from the Covid-related death of our paternal parent, we cleaned house in corners we have never cleaned before — and low and behold! The stick was found, probably where the cat kicked it.
And so, seven years later to the month, Addendum Part I, much like delayed ejaculation: better late than never. And now, a month later, here is Addendum Part II.
Not that we actually plan to finish the Addendum(s): we merely want to finally put online what we had already finished back then, mildly updated. (Way back when, we lost interest in the undertaking as of the films around 1985.) 
We dedicate the rediscovered Addendum(s) to our departed paternal parent, who inadvertently introduced us to Harry Reems when we, as a late teen, stumbled upon his VHS copy of Deep Throat (1972, see Harry Reems Part II) hidden in the VHS box for Key Largo (1948 / trailer).*  
*He also had The Resurrection of Eve (1973 / Purple Skies and Butterflies) hidden in his To Have and Have Not (1944 / trailer) box, but the 1973 film wasn't funny enough to keep us watching until the end. 
From the soundtrack of Deep Throat
Love Is Strange:

 
Go herefor Part I 
Go here for Part II (1969–72) 
Go here for Part III (1973–74) 
Go here for Part IV (1975–79) 
Go here for Part V (1980–84) 
Go here for Part VI (1985) 
Go here for Part VII (1986–2013) 
 
 
 
Pornography in New York 
(1972, dir. Beau Buchanan)
Another "documentary" from the day and age when documentaries were a good way to beat the obscenity laws, Pornography in New York can now be easily found on the myriad of porn tube sites found all over the web.
Though uncredited, the "director" is Beau Buchanan(22 Nov 1937 – 12 Jan 2020), a man who started his film career as an un-credited student in Blackboard Jungle(1955 / trailer). In his interviewat The Rialto Report, Buchanan claims that when he started this documentary, it was meant to be about the porn producer Leonard Kirtman and was entitled The Snake in the Big Apple, but eventually he ended up being fired by Kirtman who then used the existing material himself to make Pornography in New York. Buchanan's porn masterpiece, in any event, is the legendary production Captain Lust(1976) — give a listen to The Rialto Report's great podcastabout that movie.
According to the iafd, Harry Reems is in the documentary somewhere — an assertion not supported by most other film sites... But: if the list of trailers included in this film supplied at the imdbis right, then he is there due to I Wish I Were in Dixie (1969), which we looked at in Harry Reems Part II.
Other non-Reems trailers and/or inserts used come from Sweet Taste of Joy (1970 / poster above), 101 Acts of Love (1971 / full NSFW film), Carlos Tobalina's I Am Curious Tahiti (1970 / poster below) and the West Coast "documentary"Pornography in Hollywood (1972), the last of which we took a look at in Babes of Yesteryear – Uschi Digard, Part VI: 1972.
 
At Uschi Part VI, BTW, we mention that "Leonard Kirtman, in any event, had a long and productive career as a pornographer, with a few odd horror movies tossed in as well, but he seems to have disappeared soon after video took over. (But then again, maybe he just changed careers. Look his name up at Contact Out.)
At rame.net, they write: "Even though Gerard Damiano has nothing to do with this documentary film, this can be viewed as a follow-up to his documentary film named This Film Is All About... [a.k.a. Changes, looked at further above] because a couple of the NYC places and people featured in his film are also featured here. First is the unknown redhead, who (as far as I know) also appeared in Sex USA (1971, see Part II), A Time to Love (1971, see Part II), and a loop named The Pick-Up which is featured in TFIAA. Second is Nancy* who I will get to below. [...] This documentary is nowhere near as good as TFIAA, but it is still worth watching. The film is in Black & White, but it is well shot and has excellent sound. [...] Nancy* gets a guy erect by stroking him with her hand. Then she makes a cast of his dick with plaster (she was a real sculptress) and she shows off some of the dildo's she has made from other guys. [...] The film ends with the reporter saying: "8mm, 16mm, 35mm, live action, black & white, color, stereo, you can get it all in Times Square." As you know, this is not the way Times Square is now. That's Nancy at work below.
*Nancy [Godfrey], now a lost and forgotten name of the past, never parleyed her artistic intentions and work as far as another woman of her day did, namely: Cynthia "Plaster Caster"Albritton [see her website]. Take a look at the entry on Changes in Addendum I for more info on Nancy.
Trailer to the documentary
Plaster Caster (2001):
 
The free porn site erogargamight add: Pornography in New York "belongs to the genre of pseudo-documentaries, which justifies or allows an essentially pornographic movie to be shown. The sex scenes are not, by present standards, hardcore, although they are not soft core either. Film begins with the supposed DA of Nassau County talking about pornography and the law with emphasis on his duties in relation to obscenity. This is cover for what follows: a survey of various sexual practices, straight and gay, in the early '70's in New York. [...] The movie [is] 'hilarious' due to the serious way it presents raunchy material."
During our online search for material on Pornography in New York, we came upon two advertisements for the film, one presented above and one below. At the 9G Drive-In in Hyde Park, NY, the documentary was paired with Joseph W. Sarno's somewhat older sexploitation drama, The Swap and How They Make It(1965 / full movie). In Andy Warhol's place of birth, Pittsburgh, it was screened at the Art Cinema (now Harris) with Michael and Roberta Findlay's Take My Head (1970), which we looked at in our Babe of Yesteryear feature on Uschi Digard (Part III: 1970, Part II)
 
  
Rosebud
(1972, writ. & dir. Roberta Findlay)
Hard softcore sexploiter, typically violent and perverse in that special way common of Findlay films: Rosebud is yet another obscurity from the legendary and reclusive Roberta Findlay who, among many films, also directed the so-bad-it's-fun horror movie The Oracle(1975 / trailer below). 
Trailer to Findlay's
The Oracle:

As for Harry Reems, is he in this forgotten movie, or is he not? Once again the French site encyclocine.comstands more or less alone by claiming that Reems is there (credited as Stan Freemont) — and while virtually no other site claims that ,the good old imdb mildly clarifies the matter by listing Harry Reems (as Stan Freemont) as "credited only". Interesting to note: Harry Reems, credited as "Stan Freemont", does actually appear in Findlay's previous project, the first feature film that she made after splitting with her husband Michael Findlay(27 Aug 1937 – 16 May 1977),*Altar of Lust (1971, see Part II). Fact is: Harry Reems ain't in it, but let's look at Rosebud anyways. 
* Roberta Findlay: "I moved in with Mike, and we got married. I was in love with him — for about 2 weeks. Somehow I stayed with him another 10 years. [Rialto Report]"
As in most Findlay films, the good filmmaker did everything but star in it: as Jason S. Martinko points out in The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, aside from her credited activities as writer, producer, director and cinematographer, "She also wrote the original music (as Robin Aden) and worked in the lighting department (as Robert Marx). Film editing was done by Charles Schwartz." (Odd thing about Mr. Schwartz is that his only other known film credit is for Altar of Lust [1971], which sort of indicates it too is a pseudonym there, too.) Rosebud is currently easily found on DVD as part of a triple feature of Findlay films — the other two being Altar of Lust and Janie (1970, 4:35 mins., poster below), all of which feature a notable fascination (obsession?) with incest.
For a long time, the only plot description online was the one on a DVD's back cover: "Rosebud (Darby Lloyd Rains) becomes a drifter after finding daddy in bed with his mistress, has incestuous fantasies about daddy, resulting in rape." 
Just this very year (on 23 Jan 2021), however, Video Zeta One put a full blow-by-blow description along with great photos, not one of which shows Harry Reems anywhere. It reads (without the photos) in parts: "[...] Jamie Gillis (20 Apr 1943 – 19 Feb 2010) plays Don, Rosebud's boyfriend — before she killed herself. Don listens to her last words, recorded on the reel-to-reel. The downward spiral really began when she caught her father (Richard Towers [20 May 1927 – 27 Feb 2016]) with a woman named Marie (Arlana Blue). Rosebud admits on the tape that she has incestuous feelings toward her father. [...] Rosebud is traumatized and runs away from home. […] Rosebud goes to live at a hippie commune. [...] The character of Rosebud is depressed and miserable for the entire film. [...] Rosebud moves out of the commune and gets a cat. There's a knock at the door... Terry has arrived and she's brought her friend (Tamie Trevor). [...] Terry and her friend try to convince Rosebud to come back to the commune. Back at her father's place, Kate (Helen Wood a.k.a. Dolly Sharp) is visiting. Kate and dad have a roll in the hay. Rosebud arrives just in time to see the action. Rosebud can't help herself; she masturbates while she watches. [...] Rosebud is out of the frying pan and into the fire. She's pursued by a rapist (Alex Mann [24 July 1941 – 6 July 2010]). [...] Rosebud faints, and the rapist undresses her while she's passed out. [...] She wakes up and finds she's been raped. She decides at that point to commit suicide. [...]."
 
 
Room Service 75
(1972, writ. & dir. Fred Baker)
Fred Baker (26 July 1932 — 5 June 2011) was a Renaissance Man active in music, stage, film and writing; he did uncredited production work on the critically acclaimed documentaries The Battle of Algiers(1966 / trailer) and The Murder of Fred Hampton (1971 / trailer), directed the documentary Lenny Bruce Without Tears (1972) and the seldom-screened time capsules Events (1970 / trailer further below) and White Trash (1992), and had bit parts in Lizzie Bordon's Working Girls (1986 / trailer) and Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978 / trailer). His company, Fred Baker Film & Video Company (nee Fred Baker Films, Ltd.), distributed films such as David Lynch's Eraserhead(1977 / trailer), Alfred Sole's Tanya's Island (1980 / trailer from hell) — and this movie here, Room Service 75, which was screened at The First Annual New York Erotic Film Festival, an event about whichJonas Mikas (24 Dec 1922 – 23 Jan 2019) once wrote: "I am a perfect victim for any capitalist swindler. Which this festival probably is, a big capitalist swindle."
At the First Annual New York Erotic Film Festival, Room Service 75was amongst the films seized when the festival was raided by the boys in blue, alongside celluloid like Al Di Lauro's Old Borrowed and Stag (1971, poster below), Arch Brown's now lost Tuesday (1971) and John Knoop's short Norien Ten (1971). (Tuesday is so lost, that it doesn't even appear on most current Brown filmographies.) Charges were dropped for all but one film: "The exception was Arch Brown's Tuesday, which was the only gay male film at the festival. Although many of the films had hardcore sexual content, the homosexual orientation of Brown's film was perhaps the sticking point for the judge, who, according to Screw, claimed that 'it was the worst film I've ever seen.' [Sex Scene: Media & the Sexual Revolution, ed. Eric Schaefer]" (Interestingly enough, the judge was obviously not bothered by the hardcore two girls and a dog scene found in Room Service 75.)
Prior to his death, Baker also began the extremely readable blogSlink, a "non-fictional novel" based on his life that will, of course, now never be finished. 
Trailer Fred Baker's experimental film
Events (1970):
An intriguing cascade of facts: The narrative of Baker's film prior to Room Service 75, Events, tells of "a wannabe directing team turning to porn as a means of financing a documentary about Lenny Bruce"; and Baker's first film(s) after Eventswas a documentary on the stand-up comedian entitled Lenny Bruce: Without Tears (1972) and this one. 
We could find very little info on Room Service 75 online, though we did find the "explicit hardcore porn documentary" itself online here at daftsex. Aside from the known participation of Harry Reems ("Herb Streicher") and Arlana Blue, the film also features Kristen Steen, Myron "Butch" Oglesby and Peggy Windsor. Another credit of note: "Toys and Drawing by Tom Ungerer" (28 Nov 1931 – 9 Feb 2019)... less known is the inclusion of a lot of vintage pornography (as in B&W and from before you're mother was born), including two girls and a dog.  
Ungerer's drawing above is from one of the two known posters used for the film; and as seen by the page below from the 8 Sept 1972 issue of the York Daily Record from York, Pennsylvania, the film was also screened at least at one location outside of NYC, the now-gone Southern Theatre and present-day Asamblea de Iglesias Cristianas Puerta de Salvcion.
In Whitney Strub's book Perversion for Profit: The Politics of Pornography and the Rise of the New Right, she mentions that Lucille Iverson, a reporter of Women & Film and "no fan of films in which 'women are degraded, submissive, adoring of the large erect penis'" saw Room Service 75 and found that the movie "showed lesbians captivated by 'the myth of supposedly greater satisfaction achieved via the big male cock,' but [that] the film had redeeming qualities in other scenes, where 'the women are treated equally with the men" and "the clitoris is important and so is fondling and kissing'." Doesn't really seem to correspond to what we saw online, but if anyone has any further information about the movie, feel free to share... 
A year after Room Service 75, in 1973, Baker (as "Vance Farlowe") wrote and directed a narrative porn film, Different Strokes a.k.a. Spikey's Magic Wandand Over Exposure. At the time we took  a look at that movie in Harry Reems, Part III (1973-74), it was not general knowledge that "Vance Farlowe" is supposedly Baker — which is why we offered our own conjecture regarding who really wrote/made that movie...

Below is Fred Baker 1962 short On the Sound which, according to Mi Shorts, "was his first film and it won the coveted USA Golden Eagle the following year, representing the US at international festivals in Berlin, London and Edinburgh. The original score is by legendary saxman and composer, Gigi Gryce." 
Fred Baker's short film
On the Sound (1962):
 
 
A Place Called Today
(1972, writ. & dir. Don Schain)
A.k.a. City in Fear. X-rated not as in X-rated porn, but as in X-rated adult themes ala Midnight Cowboy(1969 / trailer), A Clockwork Orange (1971 / trailer) or Last Tango in Paris (1973). Today, such films would be R-rated or, at worst, NC-17, like Henry & June (1990 / trailer) or A Dirty Shame (2004 / trailer). 
"Don Schain (26 Feb 1941 – 26 Dec 2015) and his partner Ralph T. Desiderio conceived the idea for the notoriously trashy 'Ginger' exploitation picture trilogy in 1970. Schain wrote and directed all three of these immensely popular cult films: Ginger (1971 / scene), The Abductors (1972, see Part II) and Girls Are for Loving(1973 / scene). The 'Ginger' flicks starred brassy blonde Cheri Caffaro as a sexy yet tough female James Bond-style crimefighter who used harsh and aggressive methods to nail the villains. Don subsequently directed Caffaro in ... equally sleazy drive-in items... [imdb]" Like this "message" film, A Place Called Today.
Harry Reems, who also showed up in The Abductors (credited as "Herb Stryker") to play a cop, pops up as an un-credited extra in this flick as a construction worker in a crowd scene: that's him above, to the far right below.
Over All Movie, Hal Erickson says, "City in Fearwas an attempt at socio-political commentary by soft-core porno star Cheri Caffaro and her director/husband Don Schain. The film takes place during a heated political campaign, wherein the 'race card' is played up for all it's worth. The bigoted whites attack the blacks, the militant blacks attack the whites, and gallons of blood are spilled. […] Originally released as A Place Called Today, this is no more or less than an ultraviolent sexploitationer masquerading as a 'statement.'"

Down Among the "Z"Movies, who unlike us is not a Caffaro fan, says: "Cheri Caffaro has had a cult following, though I've never understood it. Her 'Ginger' films are like all other hardboiled woman action sleaze, except that Caffaro would get naked — actually, she'd always get raped, which, given that the director (Don Schain) was her husband, is creepy. She gets raped again in this film, again directed by her husband, and then killed, as she isn't the star of the film for once. Neither is Lana Wood, who has a bigger role [...]. The 'star' of the film is social and political commentary, of which the film is replete. The film consists largely of static shots of people very angrily shouting about racial conflicts, usually straight into the camera. [...]" 
Scene from
A Place Called Today:
The basics of the plot, as explained at Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot: "J. Herbert Kerr Jr., who did little of note on film, is earnest enough as Randy Johnson […], a black man with a plan to run for mayor by inciting violence behind the scenes and more or less scaring the Caucasian Establishment sheep into voting for him. Helping him are white revolutionary Carolyn (a miscast Lana Wood [...]) and black Steve Smith (former footballer Timothy Brown). On the other side of the election are Ron Carton (Richard Smedley), Carolyn's lover who believes in the Establishment and is also making time with wealthy debutante Cindy Cartwright (Caffaro), a goodtime party girl who backs the current mayor (Peter Carew) basically because her daddy tells her too. [...] As for lovers working together, Wood met Smedley on this film and married him. In her autobiography, she claimed A Place Called Today was his first film, but he had in fact acted in several soft- and hardcore sex films prior to it and continued to do so after their wedding. He's a dreadful actor, and Schain's self-important dialogue really leaves him hanging. Wood trashed this movie in her book, though she claimed it was ruined in the editing. I don't think it was edited enough." 
Speaking of Richard Smedley, that's him above with his future wife, the pneumatically talented Lana Wood. Prior to this movie, as "Dickie O'Toole"— synergy: one of Lana Wood's most famous roles is probably that of "Plenty O'Toole" in Diamonds Are Forever (1971 / trailer) — Smedley worked with the Great Uschi in Affair in the Air (1970 — see: Uschi Part II) and, as 'Bigi Dicki', in Skin Flick Madness (1971 — see Uschi Part V). Later, in 1974, he also worked with Marilyn Joi in Al Adamson's The Naughty Stewardesses (1974 — see: Marilyn Joi Part II). While his marriage to Lana Wood was over by 1976, his exploitation film career was pretty much dead by 1974, when he had his last "feature film" role in the swan song [sex] movie of forgotten Western and TV director Oliver Drake (28 May 1903 – 19 Aug 1991), Angelica: The Young Vixen a.k.a Wild and Sexy (German poster below). In 1979, the Texan-born Smedley (Snyder, TX), who worked in the oil fields prior to college, moved to Midland, TX, with "the love of his life, Johni" and "re-entered the oil business". Born 3 Oct 1946, Richard Paul Smedley died at the age of 73 on Sunday, 8 Dec 2019, in Midland, TX, after a four-year fight with cancer.
But to return to the movie. "Since it was filmed at a time when plugged-in directors were engaging the Black Power movement head-on, the plot of A Place Called Today is weirdly old-fashioned, like a racially tinged riff on some old Edward G. Robinson potboiler. Furthermore, the filmmakers' attempts to integrate elements of jet-set debauchery and youthful rebellion fall flat. Caffaro plays the horny daughter of a corrupt businessman, Lana Wood plays an earnest activist, and both of them sleep with a white reporter (Richard Smedley) determined to uncover the black politician's scheme. So what the hell is A Place Called Today trying to say? That everyone is misguided? That conscientious white people need to save African-Americans from themselves? That sex makes everyone insane? Compounding the muddiness of its rhetoric, A Place Called Today suffers from leaden pacing, wildly inconsistent acting, and a vile portrayal of women. [...] In sum, if you're looking for an inept movie that contains both gratuitous nudie shots and lengthy debates about the pros and cons of capitalism, then A Place Called Today was made for you. [Every 70s Movie]" 
8 Minutes of the Movie:

For all scorn and derision A Place Called Today gets, there are a few, lone voices to the contrary out there, like Obscure Video & DVD, which raves: "A very well-made film about a young black lawyer running for Mayor in a large city and all the racial tension he creates to win the race. The film may be timely today as all American elections are run on dishonesty and crime, this film really packs a wallop. [...] Gorgeous Cheri Caffaro is the daughter of a high and mighty political backer who really flaunts her body and actually gives the best political speech I have ever heard!! J. Herbert Kerr Jr. gives a great performance as the young black lawyer on the rise and who soon regrets what he has done, especially when he orders Caffaro raped and killed to make a point about violence. If you get a chance, see this film, you won't forget it." 
Of the cinemas given in the adverts above — Fine Arts and DeMille of NYC, and Loew's Mid-City of St Louis — none still exist today.
 
 
Her Way to Star
(1972, dir. Still Unknown)
For a short time, Vinegar Syndrome tried to establish its own streaming service, Exploitation.tv, specializing "in all things sleaze, trash, drive-in, and genre film from the '70s and '80s". It failed — now Amazon does the streaming for them. But while Exploitationwas around, it practiced Vinegar Syndrome's aim of uncovering and presenting lost and forgotten obscurities. Including this unknown porno flick from the early days, once lost and forgotten and now found everywhere on the web (like here at tubepornclassics).
Virtually all names involved remain unknown, but the lead man-meats are those of Harrry Reems and the omnipresent Jamie Gillis. Of the multitude of rent-paying women, the only identified name is that of "Bertha Jones", an attractive brunette whose limited known film career consists of this film and Carter Stevens's Collegiates (1973), also with Reems (see Part III).
The X-rated fuck-film comedy has gained little to no attention in general, although some guy named Michal Pekár, who likes to make music videos to cool songs using obscure film material, did use Her Way to Star in 2018 as material to his music video to Beck's 1996 song Hotwax. 
Beck's Hotwaxset to
Her Way to Star:

The only person so far who has seen the film and thought to write about it is Davian_X, who on 12 March 2016 wrote a lot more at the imdbthan what we present here: "Her Way to Star is the kind of half- interesting storefront junker that gestures toward the pleasures of the genre without coming off as particularly distinguished. The nominal plot centers around one woman's (Bertha Jones) attempts to make a splash in the X-rated film industry. […] "I'll do anything! On top, on bottom, girls, boys, animals, anything!" […] Part zany parody and part desultory sex flick, Her Way to Star offers a good example of the sort of madcap clowning that was often a product of fly-by-night early X-rated productions. Actors without a clearly defined character archetype (zany director, sleazy producer, etc.) often seem to be playing themselves, and frequently either struggle not to break character or begin wryly commenting on the action in a scene they're participating in. […] The film is charmingly self-deprecating, and these interludes provide a fun and zany perspective on the world of sex films circa 1971/72. […] That said, while engaging fairly playfully with the one- or two-day-wonder production model, Her Way to Star inevitably falls victim to it as well. The sex scenes, while decently performed by a game and generally attractive cast, are nevertheless not much to write home about […] and frequently slow the film down between its more engaging plot-based scenes. While the film makes an admirable attempt at combining the two from time to time, as well as at providing a winking nod toward the slap-dash milieu from which it sprang, it's ultimately not quite enough to fully rescue the proceedings, making this worth a watch but hardly a candidate for repeat viewing."
BTW: The World Theatre used to present the film's title at the beginning is the same World Theatre we looked at briefly above in The Corporate Queen (1969). Taken over by Embassy Theatres in the early 80s, it was razed in 1987.

Addendum III to come one day...

The Bar (Spain, 2017)

$
0
0
(Original title in Spanish: El bar. Hmmm, wonder what that means.) Spanish filmmaker Álex de la Iglesia may be one of the better Spanish-language filmmakers around, but for whatever reason he hasn't yet made the jump to international mainstream name familiarity à la the Mexican Guillermo del Toro, despite having helmed two English-language projects, the highly disappointing Perdita Durango (1997 / trailer) and a film we have yet to see, The Oxford Murders(2008 / trailer). We might venture to suggest that de la Iglesia's taste and humor is perhaps a tad too Spanish to translate as well as del Toro's multi-faceted vision of horror, but that is merely a hypothesis that we wouldn't put money on. But while the reason(s) that de la Iglesia has remained primarily a homeland filmmaker are open for conjuncture and argument, what is really evident and true is that the man makes some truly excellent movies and, at least in our view, is one of Spain's most interesting genre filmmakers. (See, for example, Acción Mutante [1993] and El día de las bestia [1995], or even his somewhat less than satisfying La comunidad [2000 / trailer].)
Spanish trailer to
The Bar:
El bar is a great film for our age of paranoia and conspiracy theories. Were the movie not so blackly funny, it would be a great film for a Q-Anon film night: the government of this film definitely wants to hide something, and is more than willing to accept the death of some half dozen Joe and Jane Schmoes to keep face and contain the damage. Deep state at work! (Or maybe the Illuminati? The Masons? No – surely the Rothschilds!)

Naw, the government at play here is the Spanish one, of course, and the events of the bar occur on a "warm and sunny day" in the happening metropolis of Madrid, an overrated city if there ever was one (ignoring, of course, the Prado). The movie opens with an excellently shot street scene that could lead one to believe that de la Iglesia was trying to pay homage, à la Robert Altman's first minutes of The Player(1992 / trailer), to Orson Welles' famous and far more baroque three-minute-plus single-shot opening scene in A Touch of Evil (1958 / trailer / shot), but found it impossible to maintain the continuous camera. Nevertheless, the opening scene does an excellent job at capturing the noise and speed and chaos of contemporary urban street life of Spain, even as we are introduced in passing to four of the protagonists of the film: babe Elena (Blanca Suárez of Eskalofrío [2008 / trailer] & Tiemo después [2018 / trailer]), homeless nutcase Israel (Jaime Ordóñez), generic businessman-type Sergio (Alejandro Awada of La araña vampiro [2012 / trailer]), and the formless housewife Trini (Carmen Machi of  Pieles[2017 / trailer]). They all subsequently converge, for varying reasons, in a relatively generic Spanish bar where, after some drily humorous exchanges and interactions and character introductions, the shit hits the fan.
Or, rather: a bullet hits a head. A man leaving the bar gets his head blown off by a sniper, as does the city maintenance worker (Jordi Aguilar of Cuerdas [2019 / trailer]) who goes out to help him, and the once-teeming neighborhood streets are suddenly empty of all people. But once officials finally show up, they are anything but reassuring or helpful: anonymous, armed and wearing gas-masks, they clean the street of the dead and blood, and set tires afire in front of the bar. According to the news reports on TV, a major fire has broken out in downtown Madrid — of the sniper deaths nothing is said, much less anything about the people still in the bar. And then there is a noise in the men's toilet…

Once the first man falls, the movie does an excellent job at maintaining suspense and tension up until the final scenes in the city sewers. At the same time, at least for the period of the film set in the bar and the bar's basement, the filmmakers do any first-rate job at maintaining a drily effective layer of blackly humorous dialogue and situational comedy, never once slipping into any excesses of the overly farcical, as is sometimes the case with de la Iglesia's films (see: La comunidad), if not "humorous" Spanish films in general.
Trapped behind the plate-glass windows of the bar and cut off from the world, the surviving patrons manage to figure out the what and the why of their situation. Disparity and distrust becomes unity become watching out for number one, the differing attitudes coming in waves driven by the different developments arising…
While blackly funny, The Bar never loses sight of its thriller aspects nor of its exploration of human nature under enormous stress. Certain plot aspects do not survive strong scrutiny — the quickness with which a central Madrid neighborhood is emptied for one, for example, not to mention the total lack of social-media rubberneckers that such an event would engender in real life — but the speed and suspense and tension of the narrative make it close to impossible to notice, much less dwell, on such flaws. Even the red herring of the rucksack of the character of Nacho (Mario Casas of the unpleasant but intriguing thriller The Occupant [2020 / trailer] & de la Iglesia's Witching Bitching [2013 / trailer]) and his almost slapstick attempt to hide it escalates so quickly that one [almost] forgets to ask "Why?" in regards to his actions.
Arguably, the last 15 minutes of The Bar do swerve a bit too much into the realm of the bodycounter, with the most predictable choice of all the survivors becoming an almost typically unstoppable killing machine. That aspect, however, also enables to the movie to ratchet the tension even as it returns to its exploration of personal growth and sacrifice. Likewise, the final street scenes could also have been shortened, for although a point is made (the disinterest of urban society and, in turn, how readily the masses overlook/ignore the abnormal in a modern urban setting), by extending the event throughout most of the credit sequence it ends up becoming an example of the male objectification of women instead of the social criticism de la Iglesia wants to pretend he's presenting. (Anyone else out there catch the obvious visual reference to certain photos of one of the greatest objectifiers of all time, Helmut Newton?) That said, any hetero male would probably agree that Blanca Suárez is a woman well worth objectifying, and she does look hot even in filthy skimpies. (Mario Casas's hipster Karl Marx beard, on the other hand, stops him from being sexy even when he's in his tighty-whities.) Lastly, The Bar also totally ignores (but then it is a movie and not a TV series) the fact that, in the end, in all likelihood no virus was contained, for the bodies of two possibly infected people remain in a place that would be ideal for its quick spread.

Whatever easily overlooked flaws are found in The Bar, none in any way hamper the effectiveness of the film as a suspense movie or black comedy. The tightness of de la Iglesia direction, the sincerity of the actors, and the speed and twists and humor of the narrative make sure that one is too engrossed by the events at hand to dwell upon any creative glitches. The Bar is well worth watching, and is definitely a satisfying filmic experience. And Spanish filmmaker Álex de la Iglesia really deserves greater international recognition.

Short Film: The House of the Devil (France, 1896)

$
0
0
Original title: Les Spectres etLe Manoir du diable. Not to be confused with Ty West's feature film, The House of the Devil (trailer) — this film here is much older and (Duh!) shorter.
This month's short film, an early project of the pioneering French Master
Georges Méliès (8 Dec 1861 – 21 Jan 1938), above, is as much of a Goldie Oldie as it is both short and in bad condition. It is the oldest film we have ever presented here, beating out the second oldest, Segundo de Chomón's The Haunted House (1908), our Short Film of the Month for October 2018, by a good 12 years. Both films share a similar theme, experimental joy and tilt (despite the shared "horror" elements) towards the comical. And, as we wrote back then about The Haunted House, when it comes to The House of the Devil, "We would be lying if we didn't say that [the film] looks its age but, that said, we still find this […] an amazing piece of film history, one that can and should be appreciated as an early visual and special effects treat."
Basically, this little film here be the granddaddy of our favorite genre in film: it is to movies what The Castle of Otranto is to the novel.
Yep, House of the Devil holds a particularly special place in the history of film, as Wikipedia[accessed 21 Apr 2021] explains in its introductory paragraph on the film: The House of the Devil, "which depicts a brief pantomimed sketch in the style of a theatrical comic fantasy, tells the story of an encounter with the Devil [very much of a Faustian model] and various attendant phantoms. It is intended to evoke amusement and wonder from its audiences, rather than fear. However, because of its themes and characters, the film has been considered to technically be the first horror film." 
More like comedy horror, to tell the truth, as little about the 3-minute short – an "innovative" length for the times – is scary, but much garners a smile. (Of course, we would all probably react differently to the short if we didn't have 125 years of films behind us.) Indeed, Georges Méliès'A Nightmare (1896 / full film), which is constructed around the first dream sequence in film history (and that, of course, includes a black face interlude because that is what all white men dream about at night), is a bit more discombobulating in its horror elements than the scène fantastique looked at today, but unlike in The House of the Devil, all the funny stuff that transpires is a dream and not "real"– and thus not really horror, at least in our eyes.
Georges Méliès's
 The House of the Devil (1896):
The first ghost film, BTW, assuming you do not count the three-second appearance of the five floating sheets in The House of the Devil, is the British Photographing a Ghost [1898]; unluckily it is a lost film (so check your granny's attic). The House of the Devil was once a lost film, too, but in 1988 a copy was discovered down under in the New Zealand Film Archive. Proving that Hollywood did not start the trend of unnecessary remakes (really: Cabin Fever[2016 / trailer] just 14 years after Cabin Fever [2002 / trailer]?), director Georges Méliès sort of remadeThe House of the Devil a year later as The Haunted Castle /Le Château hanté(1897 / fragment) – although at least that film had a new aspect to it: it was in (hand-colored) color.
As common with many of the films back then when the industry was less an industry than simply teething, the actors are not credited and most are unknown. In The House of the Devil, the only thespian known for sure is the woman who comes out of the cauldron: the at-the-time successful stage actress Jehanne d'Alcy (20 Mar 1865 – 14 Oct 1956), above, born Charlotte Lucie Marie Adèle Stephanie Adrienne Faës, who eventually married Georges Méliès in 1925, after his first wife died, and remained with him through thick and the mostly thin that was to come, until the very end. As a member of his regular film troop, she went on to appear in what is possibly the first mummy film, Méliès' lost short Robbing Cleopatra's Tomb (1899); in one of the possible first films to have (simulated) full "nudity",*Méliès'After the Ball aka The Bath (1897 / full film); and, again in Méliès' films, she is probably the first actress to play, on film, the French heroine Joan of Arc in (Duh!) Joan of Arc (1900 / film), not to mention probably the earliest iteration of a fairy godmother, in Cinderella aka Cendrillon(1899 / film). (Méliès, you might note, was "first" or close to first a lot when it comes to film.) 
*For more early "risqué" fun, dare we suggest you check out our Short Film of the Month for July 2012, The Unexpected Experience of Two Girl Hitch-Hikers (exact date unknown).
Less definite is whoever it is that plays the Mephistopheles-like devil. Some sources credit the director himself as the actor, but the general consensus is that the devil is played by the magician Jules-Eugène Legris (1862 - 1926), who also appeared in a few other Méliès films. In truth, the condition of the surviving film is too poor to say for sure… but, going by the beards, we would tend to think that Méliès plays the put-upon nobleman, not the devil.

Huet sing Friday / Bloody Friday (Hong Kong, 1996)

$
0
0
Not to be confused with Bloody Friday a.k.a. The Single Girls a.k.a. Private School (1974 / trailer) or Bloody Friday a.k.a. Blutiger Friday (1972 / trailer).The trailer to this Hong Kong flick here in question is not currently available online, but for that the film itself is easy to find at YouTube.
(Spoilers.)Friday Killer, the German title of this obscure Asian police "thriller", is actually more appropriate than the common English-language title, Bloody Friday, as the flick is not about some Friday that turns out to be exceptionally bloody but, rather, tells the tale of a motorcycle-riding serial killer who strikes every Friday night. The killer starts off by doing away with working women of the night, but after killing an undercover policewoman the motorcyclist graduates to women in general, including (the only victim the viewer never sees) the female director of a Catholic girls school where some of the virtuous young girls might actually earn their pocket money by working the streets after school hours. (A mostly extraneous point suggested but never followed up in the movie.)
Opening with a lone woman terrorized and chased through the narrow streets of deserted Hong Kong — are the streets of Hong Kong ever truly as empty as those in this film? On a Friday? — before she gets knocked upside the head with a pole and left for dead. (Which she is.) Then we meet the free-spirited Maggie (Loletta Lee a.k.a. Rachel Lee, pictured above from a different film, of Heiße Katzen in der grünen Hölle / Angels with Golden Guns (1981/ trailer], Hoi sam gwai / The Happy Ghost [1984 / trailer], Geung see suk suk / Mr Vampire IV [1988 / trailer], Yin yue jiang shi / The Musical Vampire [1992/ trailer]  and  Chat ho chai goon / Nightmares in Precinct 7 [2001/ trailer]), who comes across less as free-spirited hooker than simply bat-shit crazy. Subtlety of characterization does not raise its head in Ms. Lee's thespian endeavors in this movie; indeed, if the acting in Hong Kong films in general tend towards the theatrical, her performance tends towards terribly theatrical (emphasis on terribly).
The fellow hooker who she briefly terrorizes soon also ends up dead, so her possibly gay pimp and she get pulled in for questioning — she definitely does not like hardworking cop Ken (Stephen Au Kam-tong of Moh ging / The Demon Within [2014 / trailer], Gau geung ching dou foo / Vampire Cleanup Department [2017 / trailer] and Sei yan mou ho yi / Legally Declared Dead [2019 / trailer]), but takes a shine to the smooth-looking, tanned and leanly muscular alpha-man Inspector Ko (former model and Hong Kong star Simon Yam of  Naked Killer [1992 / trailer], Sparrow [2008 / trailer– a good film with a great soundtrack],  Sang yan mat kan: Che fa / Horoscope II: The Woman from Hell [2000 / film],  Wu ye xin tiao / Midnight Beating [2010 / trailer], and so much more). The next important plot point that follows is how the major stakeout that Ko sets up the next Friday goes completely south and results in the death of hardworking cop Ken's cop girlfriend, which sets up a rivalry between the two that results in Ken's temporary suspension. Worse, it also seemingly makes the motorcyclist murderer take notice of Ko in that typically movie way: a electrically modified voice informs Ko that he's going to kill five more people and then Ko's wife and child…

The motorcyclist killer — Oh! Spoiler! – killershave nerves of steel and an ability for gravity-defying motorcycle driving that puts even Tom Cruise (see: Mission Impossible II [2000 / trailer]) to shame – as does Ko, actually, but he's just less-skilled enough that it makes a difference. The person on the bike also has an amazing ability to see all things in advance: he escapes Ko in the first big chase because of all sorts of hilarious traps clearly set up in advance to stop anyone from chasing him. Also, the killer obviously sits and waits far in advance of his killings, as proven by scenes like when the cyclist suddenly pops out from behind a wall of boxes inside a truck or sets up a trap in the middle of the street to trick Ko and Maggie. (Which leads up to a fight in a warehouse full of empty boxes that, in turn, resolves in such a way that one suddenly realizes that the film might not end to the advantage of the vain and cocky lead.)
The cops in Friday Killer are pretty much all idiots. Mostly hotheaded or incompetent, they are always surprised and overwhelmed when the killer shows up, sort of like Asian Keystone Cops with guns and kung-fu fighting skills. None of them ever seem to follow basic police procedure or conduct any real investigative work, as almost no clue is logically pursued. And while it seems easy enough to organize stuff like 100 plainclothes on the street and 80 sharpshooters on the roofs up above, none of them ever calls for backup when they should, even if they still have their cell phone in their hand. Invariably, they also always wait way too long to draw guns — indeed, Ken waits so long to draw his that it could be argued that he is more responsible for the death of his girlfriend than Ko.
As insinuated earlier, the resolution of Bloody Friday is startlingly bleak, enough so that it almost redeems the movie. Up until a few minutes before the final showdown, one really has a hard time digesting that the film is obviously indeed going for a downer ending. And what a downer, indeed.
Nevertheless, on the whole the movie remains what it is: a mildly interesting and intermittently enthralling ridiculously plotted slice of Hong Kong product with mostly well-staged but barely plausible set pieces, an typically outdated view of manliness and women, an unlikable and inflated hero that is hard to find much sympathy for (at least until the finals scenes), and some truly bad acting — really, Lee's live-for-the-day turn as Maggie, is beyond annoying, although one does begin to like her as a person towards the end when she ratchets down her performance and shows some believable characterization.
The final revealed motivation(s) of the killer(s) are, of course, the stuff of movies and defy any and all believability. Indeed, one motive involves a revenge-seeking, previously law-abiding person to suddenly do a 180% turn and resort to multiple murders (including an innocent coworker) just to get revenge, while the other motive, well, we're still trying to figure that one out.
Verdict: better than nothing, but don't bother to search this one out. You might be better off and have more fun with a Drunken Friday… Or a Stoned Friday… Or a Hallucinogen Friday….

Film Fun: Music from Movies – Zatoichi (Japan, 2003)

$
0
0

"Even with my eyes wide open I can't see a thing."
Zatôichi (Takeshi Kitano)
 
The seemingly now defunct website 10K Bullets [R.I.P.] once had the plot to Takeshi Kitano's 11thdirectorial effort: "Zatoichi (Takeshi Kitano) is a blind swordsman who lives off the land. He sometimes works a masseur to help pay for his gambling habit. Zatoichi arrives in a remote village that is at the mercy of two rival gangs. Along the way he meets two geishas who use their beauty to trap and kill those who murdered of their parents. [One of the geishas is actually transgender.] Ginzo (Ittoku Kishibe) hires Hattori (Tadanobu Asano of Tokyo Zombie [2005 / trailer]), a samurai for hire, to take care of his rival gang. Zatoichi soon crosses Ginzo, which leads to a bloody showdown between Zatoichi and Hattori."
The fictional character Zatoichi is arguably as through-and-through Japanese as Superman or Batman is American, and while the latter two have been around longer and have a greater international cultural presence, in the Land of the Rising Sun Zatoichi cannot be sneezed at: since he was created by the novelist Kan Shimozawa, Zatoichi, a blind masseur and kenjutsu master, has been featured in more than 26 films, a Japanese TV show of 100 episodes (1974-79), innumerable comic books and graphic novels, a theater production (directed by Takashi Miike), and of course the original books. In 1990, he was even Americanized when Phillip Noyce very loosely remade the 17th Zatoichi film, Zatoichi Challenged(1967), as Blind Fury (1989 / trailer), starring the late & great Rutger Hauer (23 Jan 1944 – 19 July 2019 of The Hitcher [1986] and Hobo with a Shotgun [2011]) as the blind, Vietnamese-trained (?) swordsman Nick Parker.
Trailer to
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
In Japan, the Adam West (19 Sept 1928 – 9 June 2017) of Zatoichis is probably Shintaro Katsu (29 Nov 1931 – 21 June 1997). He played the role of blind masseur in 25 Zatoichi films released between 1962 and 1973, in the 100 episodes of the four-season Zatoichi TV series that ran in Japan in 1974 to 1979, and in the 26th Zatoichi film released in 1989, which he also directed. (Trivia: "Stunt actor Yukio Kato was killed on the set of Zatoichi 26 by Katsu's son, who was co-starring, when an actual sword was mistaken for a prop, fatally wounding Kato. [Wikipedia]" To the eternal thanks of trash film fanatics, Katsu also produced the series of six films starring his brother Tomisaburo Wakayama (1 Sept 1929 – 2 Apr 1992) that were later edited together to make the grindhouse classic, Shogun Assassin (1980). 
 
Trailer to
Shogun Assassin (1980):
 
As the advertisement above reveals, the fifth of the 27 Katsu Zatoichi films was once paired, in typically incongruent grindhouse fashion, with Ted V. Mikels'The Black Klansman (1966 / trailer), the title track of which we took a meandering look some months ago here at Film Fun: Music from Movies – The Black Klansman (USA, 1966). And 14 years after the 26th Zatoichi (a.k.a. Zatoichi: Darkness Is His Ally [trailer]) hit the screens in 1989, The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi was made.
We caught the award-winning The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi in a cinema in Berlin and, despite some truly questionable CGI-generated blood, loved it enough to have watched it a couple of times since on DVD and late-night TV. (Give it a go if you ever have the chance; you'll probably enjoy it.) Supposedly the questionable-looking blood was an artistic decision on part of the director and lead star Takeshi "Beat"Kitano to soften the effect on the viewing audience — an odd decision from an auteur who is found in movies like Violent Cop (1989 / trailer) and Battle Royal (2000 / trailer).
But to be honest, while the music is as good as one might expect in a good movie, there is little about the soundtrack that truly bowls us over. But there is a totally unexpected and (to us) left-field, music-related interlude in the film at the very end that we always find absolutely fabulous — and that is what we want to look at here. It is the closing dance number, prior to the freeze-frame last scene of Zatoichi tripping to the voice-over line,"Even with my eyes wide open I can't see a thing." Basically, all the good guys of the movie get together on stage and do a dance: first, a more traditional one with but four dancers, and then a modern tap dance number involving all the good guys of the cast. (Zatoichi isn't doing the twist with everyone else because he is a bad guy of sorts, or at least morally questionable.) According to the trivia section on the film at imdb, "The end dance sequence is a tribute to many of the popular Japanese films, in which the Hollywood-style happy ending was followed by a sudden 'burst into song'. Kitano wanted to attempt this, but in a different type of way. Kitano combined traditional Kabuki theatre clog-dancing with 'the latest African-American tap style." Enjoy.
Final dance scene of 
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
 

Cadaver (Norway, 2020)

$
0
0
(Spoilers) The plot? In a post-nuclear future, a starving family attends an immersive theatre performance with meal at a mountain hotel that is far less altruistic than it appears to be. Cue-in a lot of confusing corridors and rooms and secret passages and non-stop running around — oh, yeah: and occasional red dresses floating down the atrium-space of the majestic hotel stairwell…
Trailer to
Cadaver:
Really, could they not have chosen another name for this flick? Its title is about as blatant as an "Idiot" sign stuck to the back of a MAGA-cap wearer, trumpeting the big reveal before the film even starts. Not that a single, specific cadaver actually has any major role in the movie, but it pretty much makes it obvious from the start what direction the evening's entertainment is going to go (both within the film itself and at the hotel that is the central setting of the narrative.) Really, it wouldn't have taken any great level of creativity to come up with a better title. Obvious choices like Performance, Theatre of Death, Theatre of Blood or Horror Hotel might already all be taken by better films — (1970 / trailer), (1965 / trailer), (1965 / trailer)  and (1960 / trailer) respectively — but even something as mundane as Dinner Theatre or Meal Included would have been a better, if not far more subtle, choice.
But then, for all the initial promise of the excellently envisioned, almost steam-punk, retro-dystopian, post-nuclear setting and the corresponding mise-en-scene of the film's narrative world, once the narrative moves to the grand hotel on the hill, Cadaver never truly rises above the level of an artily shot big-three*television movie, so the trite unoriginality and obviousness of its title is pretty much reflective of what the beautifully shot movie delivers on the whole.
*As a compound adjective, "big-three" may have outlived its usefulness and/or clarity. In the early days of pay TV in the USA, it was a reference to the three traditional commercial stations in the US of A, ABC, CBS and NBC. Nowadays, long after the advent of Pay TV and channels like FOX, they would seem hardly the biggest of available channels.
The sophomore feature film of writer-director Jarand Herdal (his first: 2013's Everywhen [trailer]), the dank and depressing cobblestone streets of the post-nuclear world of the unnamed European city seen in Cadaverproffer a visually intriguing setting for any number of stories, and while the narrative that ends up getting served might fit the situation (to an extent, at least), its overall development and execution are predictable, drawn-out and ultimately both uninvolving and yawn-inducing. Worse, one too many narrative turn taken (often at the expense of logic, believability and/or continuity) is on the level of a low-rent mainstream TV series or, worstest of all, any given Walking Dead spin-off. (Which, as you may know, are generally even more idiotic than what The Walking Dead has become.) Characters do amazingly stupid things considering that they live in post-nuclear times, the most obvious being how the daughter, Alice (Tuva Olivia Remman), keeps wandering away and how the parents keep getting distracted, not to mention how easily they trust anyone that crosses their path.
And then there are the "twists": the developments that come from nowhere that are meant to pull the rug out from under the viewer, not to mention a given character. Perhaps the biggest "twist" of the film is the one that ensures that the movie's core female figure of identification, Leonora (Gitte Witt of The Sleepwalker [2014 / trailer]) doesn't end up getting slaughtered like a kosher pig. Unluckily, it is both the most bird-brained and the most expected — indeed, when her husband, Jacob (Thomas Gullestad of The 12th Man [2017 / trailer]), starts wrestling with big guy in a butcher's apron and yells something like "Run, Leonora! Run!" and she escapes so easily, we for one already thought, "Oh, no, the film's not going to go that way, is it?" It did.
And speaking of guys in butcher's aprons, alone the massive number of them running around in the tunnels, not to mention one minor character's sudden re-appearance with knives and apron or even the opening scene in which a little girl in front of a pile of clothes — a strong visual definitely reminiscent of the piles of worldly goods of the concentration camps of WWII — tosses away a shirt because of blood stains, would all indicate that the later proclamations of semi-ignorance* of all the angry dinner-theatre actors are less than truthful. (If two can keep a secret only if one is dead, pray tell how can a secret be kept when dozens and dozens of people obviously know it?) 
*Semi-ignorance in that they were obviously okay with people being killed and robbed, but not with being killed, robbed and [guess]. That, too, of course, is oddly reminiscent of the proclamations of "We didn't know" exclaimed so loudly by so many in the aftermath of WWII and the liberation of the concentration camps. Besides, as evident in the scene where our heroine, Leonora, almost becomes kosher meat: in Cadaver, the people involved know everything.
But then, the resolution of the narrative is perhaps one of the weakest aspects of the movie. Not what Mommy Leonora does to save the day, per say, as that is actually rather resourceful, but rather the way that everything just peters out: after a moment or two of pandemonium, a knifing and the total loss of everything are undermined and undone by an unexpected "happy" twist, and then suddenly everyone is gone and the hotel is empty. Excuse me? The place is a treasure chest of worldly goods, not to mention electricity and heating, things one and all that a starving society would surely pick clean or linger in once the danger is gone. And it's not like the guys in butcher aprons had any reason to run away, either.
At least the final scene of Cadaver (which once again leans towards the director's appealing penchant for arty visuals), with the sun-lit hotel in the distance, does add an ambiguous "what-is-worse?" tone to the resolution. That final scene on the street is easily one of the best and most affecting moments of the entire movie (next to Leonora's unexpected, life-saving brainstorm that leads to the collapse of the bad guys' best laid plans). But neither a decent mise-en-scene nor one or the other nice visual or well-shot scene can save a predictable, third-rate story, and that is all that Cadaverdelivers.
And the lesson(s) learned from today's movie? The old chestnut(s): if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is… not to mention, there ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

Short Film: Frankenstein (USA, 1910)

$
0
0
Last month we took a look at a short that is considered by many as the first "horror" film ever made, Georges Méliès's The House of the Devil (France, 1896). This month we take a look at another Goldie Oldie in the history of horror, namely the first film version ever made of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's proto-science fiction novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (1818). The movie was considered lost for decades, only for a copy to show up in Wisconsin in the mid-1970s amidst the collection of the reclusive silent-film collector Alois F. Dettlaff, Sr, who, when he died in July 2005, lay dead and decomposing in his house for about a month.
Mary Shelley's book has been filmed and remade and reinterpreted innumerable times by now, and it is doubtful that even the most novice horror film fan has not seen some version or the other. (Our personal favorites are the two standard works, James Whale's Frankenstein [1931 / trailer] and Hammer's The Curse of Frankenstein [1957 / trailer], but we do also have a soft spot for the loose TV adaptation, Frankenstein: The True Story [1973 / trailer].) But before all the feature-length films, there was this early and somewhat primitive short which, well, doesn't win any awards in direction or acting or narrative, but does have a pretty groovy creature with bad hair. The early special effects are a creative hoot, too.
Directed and scripted by James Searle Dawley (4 Oct 1877 – 30 Mar 1949), a former actor, the movie was shot over three days in the Bronx. A production of Thomas Edison's Edison Studios, Frankenstein is a typically loose adaptation of Shelley's novel. When originally released, the small cast of the "photoplay" was not even credited, but by now the names behind the main characters of the small cast are general knowledge: Augustus Phillips (1 Aug 1874 – 29 Sept 1944) is Dr. Frankenstein, Charles Ogle (5 June 1865 – 11 Oct 1940) is the Creature, and Mary Fuller (5 Oct 1888 – 9 Dec 1973), pictured above, is the Elizabeth, the doctor's fiancée. Though none are familiar names today, all three were actors of varying success. Mary Fuller's popularity, for example even supposedly rivaled that of Mary Pickford at one point, but the loss of her career and other personal tragedies saw her spend the last 26 years of her life in, St. Elizabeths Hospital, a psychiatric hospital in Washington, D.C. 
As can be imagined due to the short length of Frankenstein, the narrative is somewhat choppy and incoherent. The music, by the way, is new: it was composed by Donald Sosin. 
Frankenstein (1910):

Harry Reems, Part X: Addendum III (1973-84)

$
0
0
Way back in March 2013, when the studly and hirsute Golden Age porn star
Harry Reems (27 Aug 1947 – 19 Mar 2013) died, we began our long, fat look at his tool career and films: a full 8 lengthy blog entries! (Links to each are found bellow.) And while length is almost as much fun as girth, by the time we got to Part VII (1986-2013) we were really ready to roll over and go to sleep. Which is why we never got around to finishing the already-started Addendum Parts I – 4, which looked at the films that we somehow missed or skipped in our extended and meaty Parts I through VII. And then we went and lost the stick we had our Harry Reems file on (a lesson in backing documents up, that was).
 
But last January, while trying to distract ourselves from the Covid-related death of our paternal parent, we cleaned house in corners we had never cleaned before — and low and behold! The stick was found, probably where the cat kicked it. 
And so, seven years later to the month, Addendum Part I appeared, much like delayed ejaculation: better late than never. And now, following last month's relatively short but meaty Addendum Part II, here is a somewhat longer and fatter Addendum Part III. (If you're into size, next month's final Addendum installment, Part IV, is gonna floor you.)
Not that we actually plan to finish the Addendum(s): we merely want to finally put online what we had already finished way back then, mildly updated. (Way back when, we lost interest in the undertaking as of the films around 1985...) 
We dedicate the rediscovered Addendum(s) to our departed paternal parent, who inadvertently introduced us to Harry Reems when we, as a late teen, stumbled upon his VHS copy of Deep Throat (1972, see Harry Reems Part II) hidden in the VHS box for Key Largo (1948 / trailer).* 
*He also had The Resurrection of Eve (1973 / Purple Skies and Butterflies) hidden in his To Have and Have Not (1944 / trailer) box, but the 1973 film wasn't funny enough to keep us watching until the end.
From the soundtrack of Deep Throat
Deeper and Deeper:

 
Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II (1969–72)
Go here for Part III (1973–74)
Go here for Part IV (1975–79)
Go here for Part V (1980–84)
Go here for Part VI (1985)
Go here for Part VII (1986–2013)
Go here for Part VIII: Addendum Part I
Go here for Part IX: Addendum Part II
 

Prurient Interest
(1973, dir. "B. Truart")
Perhaps a.k.a. Tiderna förändras baby! Poster thanks to the website written over the image. A mystery film, in all likelihood lost. But it existed once upon a time, and was even screened as part of a double feature with the Tina Russell hicksploitation vehicle, All in the Sex Family (1973), at the Boyes Theatre in Boyes Hot Springs, CA. (The advert was found at the Rialto Report: Jack Bravman: Snuff, The Slaughter, and who was J. Angel Martine?)
As far as we can tell, the iafdis the only source online thatclaims that Prurient Interest features the prurient talents of Harry Reems, a claim that is supported by Jason S. Martinko in his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, which also adds Andrea True, Darby Lloyd Rains, Jamie Gillis, Marc Williams and Davey Jones to the list of players and says: "This film is the story of Snow White, going to New York City to become a porno actress. It played in Chicago, Illinois on September 28, 1973, and San Diego, California on January 18, 1974." 
Supposedly the film's trailer can be found on Vol. 14 of Bucky's '70s Triple XXX Movie House Trailers Vol. 14 (1999), but neither film nor the trailer can currently be found online.
The imdb, BTW, removes Reems from the cast but adds the attractive Arlana Blue (born 15 Nov 1948 as Arlene Schnetkowski) and the tragic Valerie Marron (22 Oct 1955 – 13 Oct 2008). For more on Valerie, read Wet Rainbow (1974): Two Lives in Contrastat the Rialto Report. 
The director is not known to have made another movie, at least not under that name. We are sure that Prurient Interest, in any event, is nothing but True Art....
 
 
The Russians Are Coming
(1973, dir. Harry Reems)

Supposedly a.k.a. The Russians Are Here, this NSFW and hairy film can be found all over the web by now. Assumedly, the title of this one-day wonder a reference to the mainstream but mostly forgotten Norman Jewison comedy, The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! (1966 / trailer below), which oddly enough was nominated for four Oscars.

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!
Once again we turn to Jason S. Martinko and his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988: "Supposedly, Harry Reems directed this film about an American (Jeffrey Hurst) who brings three New York City girls to service three Soviet bigwigs who can't speak English. Georgina Spelvin performs a double penetration scene."
The "supposedly" can be dumped by now, according to what Jeffrey Hurst says about the film over at the Rialto Report in Fade To Blue: The Accidental Porn Star by Jeffrey Hurst. Hurst's first feature-length film seems to be Bob Mason's softcore The Love Lords (1972 / scene), which eventually got released with hardcore inserts as Saturday Night Special (1976), while Hurst's trusty erection debuted in Contact! (1973). That film led to Harry Reems calling him a week later to partake in the then still-unnamed one-day wonder shot in a 14th floor apartment "at the stylish, white ash building at 79th and Broadway", where Harry explained the film's plot thusly: "We have three guys and three girls. Jeff, I want you to be an Ambassador to the U.N. The other guys [John Clemens, Levi Richards (31 Jul 1944 – 6 Oct 2015)*& Ashley Moore] are horny Russian diplomats. You bring in these call-girls to service the Russians. Not only do you keep them happy, but you make the world a safer place." 
As Hurst puts it, "As the Ambassador, I had sex with Georgina [Spelvin] and the girl whose name I can't remember [Any Mathieu, below]. The challenge to me was improvising dialogue and staying in character. So, when I had my two sex scenes, I came as an Ambassador to the U.N. One was an oral cumshot, the other was in the line of duty. It was... most diplomatic."
*"A 71-year-old real estate broker killed himself with a shotgun after a city marshal knocked on his door to evict him from his Murray Hill apartment Tuesday, police sources said. [Rialto Report:Whatever Happened to Levi Richards? – The Journey to Hart Island]"
The now defunct blog Vintage Gay Media was a fan of Jeffrey Hurst (photo below) and had the following to say about The Russians Are Coming!: "There are many straight male porn stars who enjoy big gay fan bases (Harry Reemsimmediately comes to mind), so why don't more people know about Jeff's work? [...] The film was a showcase for Jeff in that he was able to display his comic talents alongside being a very handsome stud."
In any event, before leaving porn, Hurst took part in two X-rated porno horrors by two masters of incredibly strange films: Roberta Findlay's "feminist psycho slasher"A Woman's Torment (1977 / credits) and Doris Wishman's Come with Me My Love(1976).

Over at imdb, lor from New York City saw The Russians Are Coming and (unlike Vintage Gay Media) wasn't impressed: "Poor Harry Reems is accused in imdb of directing this particularly poor porn film; if so it explains why he was never in demand behind the cameras. The Russians Are Coming takes mediocrity to a new, lower level. [...] The Russians can't speak any English. That dispenses with the need for dialog or even a story, so we are presented with a poorly photographed all-sex outing lasting an hour. To call this junk tedious is too kind. [...] Spelvin is given no dialog to work with, instead she embarrassingly dances around as if doing ballet or imitating Isadora Duncan, in the nude of course, and it's sad to behold. The makeup department was kind to Andrea True, who looks positively lovely, but is merely here for mechanical sex. [...] After the final series of money shots, film simply ends with the Russians leaving. In a more logical world, this ephemeral movie would have been lost forever and not missed, but thanks to Something Weird it has been reissued [...]. After the obligatory big final orgy, everybody does the conga! Ole!" 
Reems stunt-cocked for one of the guys who couldn't deliver the prerequisite second load, for which Hurst had no problem.
Has nothing to do with either Reems's or Jewison's film —
Val Bennett's The Russians Are Coming (1968):

 
 
Revolving Teens
(1973, dir. Harry Reems)
 
A.k.a. Revolting Teens. According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "An uncredited Harry Reems directed this silly schoolgirl story. [...] It's also known in the USA by the bowdlerized titles Revolving Teaseand Revolving Youth." The Shakespearean plot: "The sexual escapades of the students and teachers at a high school. [The TMDB]"
Probably once hard to find, the hour-long one-day wonder can now be found for free all over the web or bought from sites like Hot Movies, which describes the film thusly: "This is one dysfunctional Academy. Filled with coed students who don't know the first thing about wood shop, but they definitely know how to get their wood treated with care, girls who don't care about badminton, but love to play with cocks, and a principal/headmistress with an alluring French accent who seems to solve all problems using her mouth, hands, and holes!"
Back on 29 November 2012, however,Woody Anders gave a bit more detail at the imdb:"[...] Legendary adult cinema stud Harry Reems sports a hilariously obvious powdered wig and hams it up with hearty gusto as a hot-tempered, pipe-smoking carpentry shop teacher. Fetching brunette Any Mathieu likewise has a field day as lusty principal Miss Dupont: Mathieu not only has a pretty face and a nice slim body, but also wears an adorable bow-tie during her strenuous sex scene with Reems and later engages in a scorching hot girl-girl session with one of the errant female students. Eric Edwards is his usual affable, easygoing self as handsome gym teacher Mr. Hardy, who most certainly lives up to his name in his energetic coupling with the yummy Helen Madigan. Meanwhile the luscious Valerie Marron gamely participates in a sizzling threesome with two ready, willing, and able guys. [...] This breezy affair vividly captures the carefree 'if it feels good, do it' happy, libertine, and uninhibited vibe of the 70s; it's a startling hoot to see adults blithely go all the way with adolescents with no concern whatsoever about the possible dire consequences of their actions. Enjoyable merry smut."
To an extent, the website Rock Sock Pop seems to share Mr. Anders's opinion about the instant non-masterpiece, and says, "Revolting Teens is amusing enough. It's light on plot but heavy on sex and goofy highjinks with Reems doing his usual schtick and the ladies giving their all. Mathieu steals the show as the principal and looks great too. Helen Madigan's presence is always welcome and Eric Edwards proves to be almost as good as Reems when it comes to goofy comedy. Ultimately if this is no lost classic it's a fun, light watch equal parts amusing and sexy."
The other two moustaches on screen belong to Jeffrey Hurst and hunka-hunka man John Buco... As is the case with Jeffrey Hurst (see: The Russians Are Coming!), the Rialto Report, the inexhaustible historians of the Golden Age, recently found and spoke with the long-lost John Buco in their piece John Buco: The Double Life of Water Power's Mystery Man. In regard to Harry Reems, in that interview Buco had the following to say: "Harry Reems was easy to talk with, he was open. He was an A-type personality. All that energy was constantly there, so you got it all. But he was a funny guy. He was very comfortable in his skin. I recall easy, fun times, even working with him. [...]"
In our search for info aboutRevolving Teens, we were able to confirm at least three locations where it was officially screened on a silver screen. For one, it was screened as a "co-hit" with Honeypie (1976) and The Story of Joanna (1976) — the latter possibly the porn film debut of Zebedy Colt (20 Dec 1929 – 29 May 2004) — at the obscure Hut Adult Theatre 2410 San Mateo Pl., New Mexico; on 10 Oct 1974, it was part of a double feature with Shaun Costello'sTycoon's Daughter (1973) at the forgotten Buena Vista Cinema in California, and in '76 at the Aardvark-Termite Twin in Chicago, where the Aardvark screened the possibly now-lost Switchcraft (1973) and Ed Wood's Necromania (1971), and the Termite screened Revolving Teens with the unknown Teen Age Runaways (Carter Stevens'Punk Rock [1977], which later got re-released as Teenage Runaways, hadn't been made yet). But for Teen Age Runaways and Switchboard, all the mentioned pre-Brazilian porn films can easily be found online.

 
Bedroom Bedlam
(1973, dir. Joey Lambert)
For a long time the director of this one-day wonder was generally considered "unknown", but somewhere along the line it got credited to a "Joey Lambert". At the Rialto Report, for example, Jeffrey Hurst in Fade To Blue: The Accidental Porn Star by Jeffrey Hurst also claims that the man who told the cast what to do was Joey Lambert, adding that he was "an X-rated filmmaker who would eventually work himself into mainstream films"— what mainstream film they are, we know not: "Joey Lambert" seems to have worked under a pseudonym. Hurst, in any event, describes Bedroom Bedlam as "a crude Marx Brother-esque, bedroom farce starring Tina Russell and Georgina Spelvin."
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, Reems appears in the movie, but the fact is that Martinko simply mistook mustaches — and there are many in the film, not just Hurst's. Upper-lip hair was also found on co-star "Guy Thomas", for example. "Guy Thomas", seen sneering directly above is actually some guy named Mark Suben, a former district attorney of New York's Cortland County, who now is in his 70s and both regrets and apologizes for his porno past.
 
But to look at the misattributed film anyways, Vintage Archive offers the following blow-by-blow account of the movie: "Sylvie (Tina Russell) sees her husband Doug (Jason Russell) off to work. As soon as Doug leaves, she calls her lover, Bernie (Jeffery Hurst), and invites him over. Stanley (Guy Thomas), the apartment superintendent, shows up to fix a leak. Sylvie starts to do him, and Bernie arrives. Stanley hides in the bathroom. Sylvie and Bernie get it on, and Pauline the maid (Any Mathieu) comes in to clean. Bernie hides in the closet, and Sylvie leaves to go shopping. As Pauline is cleaning, she finds Bernie in the closet. Bernie fucks Pauline. Then, Doug, the husband, comes home from the office with his lover (Georgina Spelvin). Bernie and Pauline hide in the closet. Doug and his lover fuck. Then, Doug and Sylvie's daughter, Susie (Valerie Marron) comes home from school. Doug's lover hides in the bathroom, and Doug goes back to work. Doug's lover and Stanley get it on in the bathroom. Pauline the maid comes out of the closet, and she and Susie get it on. George (LeviRichards), Susie's boyfriend, comes over. Susie and Pauline fuck George. Doug's girlfriend sneaks out of the bathroom and hides in the closet with Bernie. Sylvie comes home, and Susie and Pauline hide in the bathroom with Stanley, while George hides in the closet with Doug's girlfriend and Bernie. Bernie and George do Doug's girl, and Susie and Pauline do Stanley. Doug comes home, and he and Sylvie finally go at it. As Sylvie is doing Doug, everyone sneaks out — except Stanley. When Doug gets up to take a shower, he finds Stanley hiding in the tub. Stanley says to Doug 'I fixed the leak!', and runs out, leaving Doug to confront his wife, who just shrugs. Confused? Watch it. It's hilarious."
Going by the crappy jpg above, Bedroom Bedlam (lower left on the page above) made it to La La Land, where it was screened at the Cave Theatre and Yale Theatre in 1973. The film it was screened with, Overexposed, was probably not the 1956 film noir starring Bad Gal Cleo Moore (31 Oct 1929 – 25 Oct 1973), Over-Exposed.
Trailer to
Over-Exposed (1956):

 
Loops
(1973, dir. Shaun Costello& Bill Markle)
A lost film, unless Sean Cunningham (Friday the Thirteenth [1980 / trailer]) has it in his garage.
Over at imdb, the director and scriptwriter Shaun Costello explains the movie: "In 1972 porno was all the rage, and we thought that a documentary, or docudrama about the making of XXX rated films might just be successful at the box office. The actors who participated in the shooting of the loops were: Myself, Harry Reems, Fred Lincoln, Lucy Grantham, Sargeant Tina, and several gypsies. The footage turned out to be hilarious, but it needed another element in order to hold an audience's interest for feature length. I wrote a story about a filmmaker, who was making porno on the side, unbeknownst to Mrs. Filmmaker. [...] We intercut the new dramatized scenes of the filmmaker and his wife with the original documentary footage of the making of porno loops, and the result was a feature-length docudrama, or docucomedy called Loops. In the fall of 1972 Bill Markle and I began the process of screening our project for potential distributors. [...] During one of the screenings, Sean Cunningham began weeping. He saw Loops as the story of his life, right down to having the same first name as the main character. (Me.) So Bill and I sold the picture to Cunningham. [...] Cunningham opened Loops to mixed reviews and pretty negative box office. This movie seems to have completely disappeared from the face of the earth."
This negative film review above, from the 03 Aug 1973 issue of New York's Daily News, is an example of a review, we would say, from someone who probably should have stuck to reviewing Disney flicks. The good sir, current crime novelist Jerry Oster, caught the film at the First Avenue Screening Room (@61st St. in NYC) during its limited run of 2–8 August 1973. "The First Avenue Screening Room was small cinema that opened on 1st Ave [at 61st St.] on May 17, 1973 with Memories of Underdevelopment (1968 / trailer). It was [...] known for presenting neglected, hard-to-market, and shelved films of merit. [...] On March 19, 1975, it was renamed Byron Theatre and operated as a gay adult movie theatre, opening with The Devil and Mr. Jones (1974). The Byron Cinema became the Eastworld Cinema in 1980 to 1981. In 1982 until 1990 it operated as Art East Cinema. In 1991 it was briefly renamed York Cinema and played regular recent movies, and then went back to the Art East Cinema name until it closed in 1994. [Cinema Treasures]"
Plot to The Devil and Mr. Jones: "Young Buck commits suicide and is tested to decide if he should go to Heaven or Hell. [Gay Erotic Video Index]" Somewhere along the way, someone gets fisted with a studded glove.
 
Has nothing to do with
Loops nor The Devil and Mr. Jones
Aurelio Voltaire's The Devil and Mr. Jones:
 
Returning to Loops: of the cast, two names — Lucy Grantham & Fred J. Lincoln — had starred the year previously in Cunningham & Wes Craven's horror classic, TheLast House on the Left (1972).Interestingly enough, Lincoln considered Last House the worst one he ever made, while Grantham remains proud of the movie.
 
 
Intensive Care
(1974, dir. David Sear)

One of only two known movies officially credited to David Sear as director (at least at the imdb& iafd), the other being the decidedly odd one-day wonder Ape Over Love (1974). For more on that film, see Part III, where we also present evidence that Sears may have also directed the Pleasure Cruise (maybe '71 or '73 or '74), starring Reems & Andrea True (26 July 1943 – 7 Nov 2011). 
Long version of Andrea True's second hit single,
N.Y., You Got Me Dancing(1977):
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "This corny, burlesque-style medical sex comedy with lots of Jewish humor stars Harry Reems as Dr. Scrotum. Nurse Nookie takes care of needy patients like Bobby Astyr, who got his 'schmeckel' caught in a meat grinder at the delicatessen." Dr. Scrotum even tries to raise the dead at one point.
Cast, aside from Harry Reems: Don Allen, Georgina Spelvin, Darby Lloyd Rains, Mary Stuart (23 Nov 1949 – 12 Apr 2013), Cindy West, Marc Stevens (2 Sept 1943 – 28 Jan 1989) and Bobby Astyr (14 Nov 1937 – 7 Apr 2002).
If nowhere else, Intensive Care was obviously screened as part of a double feature with a "second adult hit", Spaced Out, at the Exotic Cinema in Dayton, Ohio, which was less a theatre than a bookstore with a screening room. (Annual membership only $1!)
Needless to say, that "second hit" was not the British sci-fi sex comedy Outer Touch (1979 / trailer), poster above, which got renamed Spaced Outsomewhere along the way, but the 1971 one-day wonder Spaced Out (full NSFW film) from Director Unknown starring Suzanne Fields and Nora Wieternik, both of whom seemed to have left the biz after appearing (as Dale Ardor and Queen Amora, respectively) in the grindhouse classic, Flesh Gordon (1974 / trailer).
The plot of Director Unknown's Spaced Out: "Suzanne Fields stars as a junkie, Cleo, who ditches her good-guy loser boyfriend (Gerard Broulard) for her pusher with perfect hair (Steven Jaworski). [Video Zeta One]"
Emil Dean Zoghby's music to the British
Outer Touch a.k.a. Spaced Out:
 

 
Girl in a Penthouse
(1974, dir. Mike Felix)
Maybe also known as Girls in the Penthouse, but is not to be confused with Erwin C. Dietrich's Penthouse Playgirls (1972), poster above, a.k.a. White Slavers, Congressional Playgirls and, in the original German, Die Mädchenhändler, poster below — something we point out so as to have a few images to present. (BTW: Temple of Schlock hates Dietrich's movie.)
When it comes to finding anything about this seventies slice of obscure porn, things start with the problem that the different base sources don't even agree on the film's name: In The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, author Jason S. Martinko, like the folks at the imdb, speak of [multiple] Girls in the Penthouse; the iafd, however, speaks of the singular Girl in the Penthouse, as do other sources (including advertisements found in old copies of Psychotronic Video). But whether one or more girls, we would say it's safe to say that the film is/was a one-or-two-day wonder. It might possibly also be a lost film, but the trailer is out there somewhere: in 2002 it was included in Something Weird's X-rated trailer compendium Bucky's '70s Triple XXX Movie House Trailers Vol. 18 (2002).
"Mike Felix" never made another movie, as far as we can tell; the name is assumedly a pseudonym. A long and hard search of the web on 08 Feb 2021 resulted in the discovery of a single sentence that led to a non-existent website: "As a full-fledged director he guided Harry Reems through Girl in a Penthouse, a hard core epic, and Jennifer Welles and Roz Kelly in an R-rated film, The Female Response (1973, above with Harry Reems). Then he wanted to do a gay film but it was hard to get anybody to take a chance on him." (As of 4 May 2021, even that quote can no longer be found.) Assuming there is any validity to that sentence, then the director would be Tim Kincaid (born Tim Gambiani). 
The possibility that "Mike Felix" is Kincaid and that this film is his is minute but possible. Kincaid was in NYC around that time, as we mentioned when writing of Kincaid & The Female Response in Part III: "In regard to [The Female Response], over at Fangoria Kincaid explained the inspiration to the film as follows: 'I was sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my ride to Boston, where I was booked for a couple of weeks of extra/stunt-driving work in The Boston Strangler (1968 / trailer), when I read a New York Times article about the burgeoning soft-porn industry. I instantly decided that was how I'd get my foot in the door as a director.'"
True, Girl in a Penthouse probably isn't "soft-porn", but Kincaid has never been adverse to hardcore, as he eventually had no problem finding the funding for hardcore gay films: as the legendary gay-porn director Joe Gage, "the porn poet of the queer working class", he helmed a loose trilogy of hardcore queer classics in a row: Kansas City Trucking Co. (1976, with Jack Wrangler [11 July 1946 – 7 Apr 2009] and Richard Locke*), El Paso Wrecking Corp. (1978, with Fred Halsted [17 Jul 1941 – 9 May 1989] & Locke), and L.A. Tool & Die (1979, with Casey Donovan [2 Nov 1943 – 10 Aug 1987]). During the 80s, he was also a productive director of extremely low grade, R-rated grindhouse exploiters, his most (in)famous probably being Breeders (1986) or Robot Holocaust (1987 / trailer).
*
The GIF found to the right between Trailers of Promise and Babes of Yesteryear is of studmuffin Locke (11 June 1941 – 25 Sept 1996) and non-studmuffin Steve Boyd (12 May 1951 – 2 Mar 2004), in Kansas City Trucking Co.
Trailer to Tim Kincaid's
Breeders:

All that fine and dandy, but aside from that one sentence online, we could find no supporting proof that Tim Kincaid is/was "Mike Felix". Anyone out there know?
There is, at least, a general agreement on the cast of the movie: though we know not their roles, Daniel "Grey Pubes" Harin — see His Loving Daughter furtherabove — is there, as is Harry Reems and Arlana Blue. The only plot description we could find anywhere (which describes a love triangle of sorts) is as follows: "A sexy, young New Yorker has everything she needs — a sugar daddy to take care of her and young lover to REALLY take care of her."
Hmmm, maybe we do know their respective roles...
 
 
Hotel Hooker
(1974, dir. Shaun Costello as "Warren Evans")
A.k.a. Hotel Hookers. According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "Harry Reems' name appears in the credits, but he's not in the movie." Indeed, the one-day wonder actually features Davey Jones, Eric Edwards, Marc Stevens (2 Sept 1943 – 28 Jan 1989), Margery "Mary" Stewart, Russ Carlson, Tammy Tilden and Toni Scott. Toni Scott is seen (barely) in some orgy scenes in one of our fave films, Hardgore (1975), while Mary "Margery" Stewart also appeared in Costello's The Sensuous Fly Girls (1976), a fact we mention only as an excuse to present the fun poster below. 
A cheap 2014 DVD release says the following on the DVD's back cover: "What better way to get yourself a piece of ass then [sic] to go the [sic] hotel where the bed is only moments away. A price is arranged and off you go to the races fucking a gal who makes fucking her business. Enjoy!" 
Over at Sweet Soundtrack, they add "A man gets more than he paid for at his local brothel" and claim that among the songs used (one assumes without permission) on the soundtrack is...
Carol King
thinking about Harry Reems?

 
One Night at a Time
(1984, dir. "Ned Morehead")
(We ask: What man doesn't ne[e]d more head?) We took a look at Girls of the Night, the other 1984 porn project directed by "Ned Morehead", in Part V. As it says at hot movies, "This is one seriously classic 80's flick. With big hair, hairy bushes and lots of lip gloss. You don't want to miss this feature where neighbors teach each other to be bad." Made during the last year of "the Golden Age of Porn" (1969–1984), and it shows. "Morehead", BTW (and according to the iafd), is a pseudonym for the equally pseudonymous "Darrel Lovestrange".
A take-off of the then-popular TV series One Day at a Time (1975–1984), the notable names of the cast (as far as we are concerned) includes Colleen Brennan, Robert Kerman (of Cannibal Holocaust [1980]), and the omnipresent Jamie Gillis. Harry has a scene with Mai Lin, one of the first porn stars of Chinese descent. 
The plot, as given by Anonymousat imdb: "When she turns into a single mother, Maggie (Colleen Brennan a.k.a. Sharron Kelly) is relieved by her Asian neighbor Mandy (Mai Lin) via an intimate massage. Masseur Ramone (Robert Kerman) is eventually brought in to assist them. When Maggie goes out, her couch hosts her daughters Amy (Karen Summer) and Dorothy (Desiree Lane) and their respective dates, Dan (Shone Tayler) and Marshall (Steve Powers). When a Telegram Man (Randy West) wants his tip, he lets Amy and Dorothy gag and bind him for an alternative payment. Mandy takes handyman Louis (Harry Reems) to her apartment to seduce him. He tries to run away, until her dildo collection reminds him of his utility belt. Finally, Maggie is in bed with Mitchell (Jamie Gillis)." Sounds like a porn movie. 
"Masseur Ramone", or Robert Kerman (16 Dec 1947 – 27 Dec 2018), also known as R. Bolla, had a notable career in non-porn grindhouse products, perhaps most notably as the lead in the unpleasant classic Cannibal Holocaust (1980). 
Main theme to
 
 
L'Amour
(1984, dir. Marga Aulbach & Jack Remy)
We already took a look at this flick in 2014, in Harry Reems Part VII, where we have it listed as from 1988, oddly enough, so its accepted release date seems to have changed since 2014. We really don't have much to add here... other than that since then, someone was nice enough to upload a version of the film's theme song onto YouTube. Let us share it with you here...
 Title track:
Sung by the unknown Nina Lark, it's a "a tearful ballad Anne Murray would have given her left tit to warble back in her heyday! (Distribpix)" Nina Lark followed this song up a year later, in 1985, with the title track to the hand-helper I Thought You Would Never Ask and then seems to have disappeared, much like the composer of both songs, Daniel Bowles.
 
 
Wet, Wild and Wicked
(1984, "dir." Thomas Paine)
When, exactly, Reems initially retired from making porn is a bit difficult to say because so many of his films were released late, re-released with new titles, or cut into "new projects" that it almost seems that he never left the biz. But, if one is to believe the 28 Nov 1982 article published in the Kansas City Star, he stopped fucking on film after his (later overturned) conviction in 1976 and didn't return until Society Affairs in 1982 (see Part V) — just in time to watch the Golden Age of the pornographic film make its last gasps (with films like Roommates [1982]) and then limp into the sunset years of D2V video fodder. This D2V piece o' product here is fairly typical of the fuck films to follow: less a film than simply scenes from other movies and/or indiscriminate sex scenes stitched together with a plot one step away from plotless.
And the plot here? As if..."A virtual romp through the sex-soaked escapades of several summer lovers who provide relief in and out of the cabana! They enjoy their sex hot, wild and messy." Harry has one scene, with Becky Savage* and Colleen Brennan, shot for the "movie"... 
*Becky Savage, BTW, is found in one of the truly original and intriguing arty & "new wave" porn projects of the twilight years of the Golden Age, a real movie much more worth watching than X-rated fodder like Wet, Wild and Wicked: the oddly anti-sex, sci-fi porn movie Café Flesh(1982). 
Almost the final scene of
Café Flesh (1982):

 
 
Addendum Part IV still to cum...

Zonbideo / Zomvideo (Japan, 2011)

$
0
0
Over here in Germany, this zomcom was give the title Rage of the Undead, a title that is easily open to misinterpretation in that it sounds soooo serious when this mercifully short film (as in: it really doesn't overstay its welcome at only 77 minutes, even if it does fall apart towards the end) is anything but serious. It is a typically batshit, blood-drenched Japanese black comedy grotesque along the lines of, say, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl(2009) or Tokyo Gore Police (2008), but perhaps with a tad less gore and somewhat lower production values. Be warned, though: "a tad less gore" hardly means that this film is blood-lite – "blood-lite" seems never to be an option when it comes to Nipponese comedies of this ilk.
Japanese trailer to
Zomvideo:
 
Interestingly enough, and an indication of interesting cleft in the cultures between East and West, this flick full of exposed brains, scissors in eyes, throats ripped out, blood showers, melting faces, gay stereotypes and so forth is/was nevertheless seen as a viable vehicle for barely legal adolescent-looking pop-group nubiles: the cast of Zomvideoincludes numerous members of the then still-active female pop group °C-ute (see the abysmal video below), including the group's lead singer, the at the time 19-year-old Maimi Yajima, who plays the film's main heroine. One has a hard time imagining any American pubescent female mass-market product — don't know any current examples, but think early Hanna Montana, Brittany or Selena Gomez (or Justin Bieber, for that matter, with or without tats) — being allowed, much less put, in a gore-heavy ludicrousy like this or even something similar but less extreme like, dunno, Zombiland (2009) or Shawn of the Dead (2004 / trailer). Don't think that would be seen as a good career move, for some odd reason…
°C-ute —
Ookina Ai de Motenashite:
Zomvideo starts off either somewhat meta or somewhat sloppy. The first person introduced is a school-uniformed, henti-aged lass running out of her house on the way to school, but she doesn't get very far before running into a zombified busker with an Everybody Love Mary (1998 / trailer) cowlick. Any notions that the lass might be the main character quickly go the way of all the blood that spatters on the piece of breakfast toast she drops on the ground, and soon she too is a cowlicked zombie. (Highly doubtful that this visual zombie attribute will ever achieve canonization — but who knows. Do you know? We don't know. Does Q know? He would, wouldn't he?)
And then comes something that either got lost in translation or was due to cost-cutting measures or sloppy scriptwriting (or maybe we were so stoned we mixed things up): the zombification scene is part of a video, an ancientand shelved government-sponsored How to Survive a Zombie Attack educational video — think of the "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" shortDuck and Cover but in blood-drenched full color and with Asian zombies instead of turtles, little white kids and atom bombs — made some decades earlier that the film's true heroine, the Asian-fetish-inducing Aiko (19-year-old Maimi Yajima of Fuyu no kaidan: Boku to watashi to obaachan no monogatari [2009 / full film], Black Fox: Age of the Ninja [2019 / trailer] and Ôsama gêmu [2011 / trailer]), discovers while going through an unsorted archive pile of unmarked videos at the video production company she works at (thanks to her uncle). But damn! Those very same zombies are now banging at the door.
Okay, we admit that by now, a few days after having watched Zomvideo, we've sort of forgot some of the motivations behind specific characters — the zombies — but then this blood-spattered film is pretty ridiculous and little if anything was written or intended to be deep and serious (though there is perhaps an interpretational level to the flick on a kind of X-man level). In any event, the movie really doesn't remain in your head too long: it is fun while it lasts, but is hardly something to write home to your mamaabout. (Although you could, for unlike some other Japanese zombie comedies out there, for example Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead [2011 / trailer] or Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead[2011 / trailer], Zomvideo doesn't leave you feeling dirty and ashamed for having watched it.)
"Wait!" you say, "The zombies have a motivation? They want more than to eat your guts or, as the case may be, brains?"Yes, indeedy! Here, the zombies are led by the campy and at times annoying but always interesting Yasude (Miyuki Torii, above not from the film, of the sequel to Meatball Machine(2005), Kodoku: Meatball Machine[2017 / trailer], Zombie TV [2013 / trailer] and Plan 6 Channel 9 [2016 / trailer]). Dressed in an outfit that is a direct reference the famous Japanese cult character Matsu the Scorpion (who was in turn played by the Japanese cult actress Meiko Kaji), example poster below, Yasude's hat hides the fact that her brains are hanging out. For whatever reason, she can control the zombies even as she can control her own hunger for humans, and she and her sidekick (played by another cookie-cut of °C-ute jailbait) want something in the building where the horror-film-hating Aiko, her nerdy zombie-film-loving coworker Hashimoto (Tomu Miyazaki) and her Uncle are the last humans left alive. Luckily, the three have the Zomvideo to show them how to fight and kill zombies with everyday items…
Zomvideowill hardly appeal to serious zombie purists, even those who like humor between the gut munching, for it leans way more towards the absurdly silly than the scary or unnerving (as in: way more like the fabulously inane series Z-Nation [2014-18 / trailer] than the mostly snore-inducing and traditional Black Summer [2019 / trailer]). Despite the schoolgirls and nubiles, Zomvideorefrains from sliding backwards to become just another Japanese underage-schoolgirl-fixated slice of sexualized exploitation and, once the zombies attack, evolves into a mildly surreal and offbeat grotesque that even includes moments of female empowerment. The silly bizarreness of the humor goes a little over the top towards the end with the big reveal of the video and doesn't really work, which makes for a mildly sloppy and disappointing ending.
Nevertheless, on the whole Zomvideoremains an amusing way to pass a short period of time (as said, 77 minutes). Fun but inconsequential, the viewing experience is definitely improved with the presence of beer and weed, as well as a larger and verbal viewing crowd in front of the tube. Make this one a social experience.
But, really: zombie cowlicks?

All My Friends Are Dead / Wszyscy moi przyjaciele nie zyja (Poland, 2020)

$
0
0
This Netfuxproduction is a blood- and death- and sex-drenched Polish black comedy that is more enjoyable than it probably should be. If there is a core lesson to be learnt from the narrative of All My Friends Are Dead, then it is surely that one should not have hot, orgasmic sex while holding a loaded gun in one's hand (or, in turn, you shouldn't orgasm a babe if she's holding a loaded gun). For it is with the scene in which this transpires that the dominoes (as in bodies) begin to fall, one after the other, resulting in the resolution whence this film takes its name. In that sense, the movie doesn't really have a plot: it simply starts with everyone dead and then shows how it happened.
Polish Trailer to 
Wszyscy moi przyjaciele nie zyja:
  
All My Friends Are Dead opens the morning after a catalytic New Year's party in which all the friends die, and playfully enough the movie's title is not delivered in writing but by the spoken words of the sole survivor as she is carried out on a stretcher, her neck obviously broken. This prefatory scene also reveals that Polish cops, with or without sticky fingers, seem to be about as incompetent as American cops are willing to kill black people. But not too much time is spent on the mildly critical presentation of the capabilities of Polish cops; instead, after a quick review of diverse dead individuals and the pile of corpses as a whole, the movie quickly moves to the past to reveal just how the swinging private party of twens — a party not all that different from millions around the world on any given New Year's night — became a house full of dead people.
For the opening party scene of his feature film directorial debut, the director and screenwriter Jan Belcl resorts to an extremely artificial artifice to get the introductions out of the way: the viewer basically looks over the shoulder of two guests as the popular host walks through the party and gives a quick introductory explanation of (or has a quick revealing exchange with) all the faces of importance. Not everyone in the party, in other words, but enough people that specific characters register, allowing one to put the still-living faces in conjunction with the dead bodies seen at the start of the movie. Soon thereafter All My Friends Are Dead segues into farcicality and grotesque, so realistic conduct often is lacking (see: sex with a loaded gun in your hand). But then, who needs realism or logic when, after the first *GASP!*, the crude and nasty laughs flow so easily?
True, the humor is often sexist, crass, or simply puerile, but as blatant and obvious and easy as many of the laughs are, a few are also subtle (look at the girl's face when her boyfriend says he respects her too much to ever piss on her), have long build-ups (what happens after she breaks up with him for being such a wimp), or are unexpected (exploding silicon anyone?). Indeed, although the film comes across as not particularly intelligent and definitely tasteless, there is often a lot more behind the events and interactions than what plays out. Some jokes, for all their bluntness, display an enjoyably socially critical basis — it just isn't obvious as they occur.And amidst it all, Gloria (Monika Krzywkowska ), a total party-girl MILF, even manages to give a long and extremely touching rant about the fears, if not probably realities, older women face when entering a serious relationship with a younger man.
Director Jan Belcl almost loses control of his material during the big finale scene (specifically, the point in which the gun turns into one of those magic guns that ever needs reloading), but he catches the curve with a killer Christmas tree, a scene that reveals why every house should have a security circuit breaker, and a closing alternative-reality ending that reveals that sometimes shit happens even in perfect places. (Can a film be homophobic and homo-happy at the same time?)
All My Friends Are Dead is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but if you are the type that enjoys a blackly funny body count, this tightly shot grotesque will probably offer you a pleasant evening's viewing.
And always remember: don't forget to drink enough liquids when you're dancing the night away on X.

Short Film: Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers (USA, 1930 [?])

$
0
0
 
"The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there."
 
Special tnanks to Cartoon Research for introducing us to this short.
Film, like life, is an ephemeral thing. It's there, and then it isn't. Everything is but dust in the wind. But unlike life, sometimes, if rarely, a film comes back — as happened, aptly enough, with Frankenstein(1910), our Short Film of the Monthlast month. Sometimes, however, when films come back, they're different, something is missing…
And that is the case of this extremely obscure stop-animation short, now known as Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers, which resurfaced somewhere along the way but without its original soundtrack. Nowadays, the short can be found online underscored with different aural treatments, none of which are the original. (Personally, we find the version found here has the more-appropriate "borrowed" soundtrack, but the version we embed below has much clearer visuals.) This oddly uncomfortable short here was released by Warner Bros. in 1930 as part of its Vitaphone series ("Vitaphone production reel #1136"), and as with many of its Vitaphone ilk, the accompanying disk is lost. ("Vitaphone was a sound film system used for feature films and nearly 1,000 short subjects made by Warner Bros. and its sister studio First National from 1926 to 1931. […] The soundtrack was not printed on the film itself, but issued separately on phonograph records. The discs […] would be played on a turntable physically coupled to the projector motor while the film was being projected. [Wikipedia]")
It is entirely possible that once upon a time the short even had spoken dialogue, but the lack of that in no way hampers the overall effect of the short. Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers is simply an oddly unnerving, vexatious, and disturbing short that sits smack dab in the middle of a dreamscape one step away from being a nightmare. "Love never looked so creepy. […] Just a fun, weird little short to make you ponder just why all children's entertainment pre-Willy Wonka seemed to be designed to scare the ever-loving shit out its intended audience. [Content Party & Review]"
Dolly Daisy in
Hearts and Flowers:

It is arguable that Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers was made for kiddies, as it is a bit sexually suggestive for a pre-peachfuzz audience. The plot involves a love triangle: two guys, both with voyeuristic tendencies — But then, what man doesn't have voyeuristic tendencies? — vying for the attentions of a fickle female. Along the way, they both carelessly cause physical harm to hapless third persons (the mother [?] and a somewhat stereotypical Black fisherman) and the gal floats to the moon… All the characters are dolls, and even in ancient B&W they exude a close kinship to Chucky and other evil dolls of his kind.
Whether the film was truly made in 1930, the year commonly attributed, is possibly open to question — as the blogspot The Boundaries of Fantasyindicated way back in 2009: the puppet used for the sailor is the same "Mugsy" (a.k.a. "Mugzee") puppet used in a short entitled Cracked Ice, which, depending on the source you read, was made in either 1917or 1922. So, while it is entirely possible that the film was rereleased with a new date added, it could also be that the Mugzee puppet was simply reused for the film. It is doubtful that the short's producer/director Howard S. Moss (9 June 1881 – July [possibly 30 June] 1964) treated his dolls with anything less than TLC, going by whatAFI mentions in their entry on Moss's lost, 50-minute human & doll film, The Dream Doll(1917): "Moss was credited with designing and building some of the fourteen-inch dolls used in the film, while many others were made to order by European craftspeople; his collection was valued at several thousand dollars."
According to the World Catalog, there seems to be a 1917 Howard S. Moss short entitled Dolly Doings, which seems to have had nothing to do with the little girls' book of almost the same title by E. Patterson from 1880. We doubt that it is the same film as Hearts and Flowers, if only because there is a Vitaphone release from 1930, #1065, also from Moss, entitled Dolly Daisy in Dizzy Doings– a film not yet added to his filmography. But assuming that the 1917 & 1930 Dizzy Doings are the same short, credence is given to the hypothesis that H&Fis likewise older.

Moss's accepted known filmography is spotty, at best, with many films lost or forgotten. Going by Loyd Bruce Holman's Puppet Animation in the Cinema: History and Technique (pub. 1975), some of Moss's titles lost to time include: Dunkling of the Circus (1917), Goldilocks and the Three Bears (1917), In the Jungle (1917), Jimmy Gets the Pennant (1917), A Kitchen Romance (1917), The Magic Pig (1917), Midnight Frolic (1917), and Out in the Rain (1917). The First Century of Cinema, a website only open to educational institutions (as of July 2021) — and that gave us all the dates to the films listed above — would add the following shorts: The Beauty Contest (1921), The Dollies of 1917 (1917), The Dream Doll (1917), School Days (1917), A Trip to the Moon (1917) and possibly The Moss Doll (1930).Most, if not all, Motoy (a.k.a. Mo-Toy) Films seem to have been distributed by the Peter Pan Film Corporation.
An online search reveals other Mo-Toy titles as well, at varied locations, but no single list that includes them all, and often Moss's animator gets the credit. Take a look at this one, for example, Buzz Saws and Dynamite, starring Mugzee [aka Mugsy], one of Dolly's suitors, and credited to Charles Bennes, the animator of Dolly Daisy in Hearts and Flowers(and Dizzy Doings, for that matter). (For more info on Buzz Saws, go here.) Or how about Mugzee in this surreal short with sound, Mr Mugzee in Televisiona.k.a.Television Romance, likewise credited to the unknown Charles Bennes.
Considering how early the duo practised the art of stop motion animation, and the extent of their (mostly lost) incredibly strange output, it would seem to us that they and their work are unjustly forgotten.
Absolutely nothing can be found online about Charles Bennes, but only a little bit more can be uncovered about Howard S. Moss a.k.a. Howard Moss a.k.a. Stanley Moss a.k.a. Howard Stanley Moss. He was born in Chicago, where he ran Motoy Films and, in 1902, married Florence Adele Seavey, with whom he may have had two(twins) or threechildren, and died in NYC in 1964. "Animated puppets, not drawings, were the staple of Chicago-based Howard Moss's films. These juvenile shorts frequently featured caricatures of screen stars like Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin. [SilentFilmOrg]"
BTW: The Mugzee puppet is believed by some to be a caricatured of silent film star Ben Turpin [19 Sept 1869 – 1 July 1940]. (Q only knows who Dolly should be. Colleen Brennan, maybe?) Whoever Mugzee is based on, it definitely seems to us that Mugzee himself inspired another famous face familair to us all:

Harry Reems, Part XI – Addendum, Part IV: 1985-86

$
0
0
Way back in March 2013, when the studly and hirsute Golden Age porn star Harry Reems(27 Aug 1947 – 19 Mar 2013) died, we began our long, fat look at his toolcareer and films: a full 8 lengthy blog entries! (Links to each are found bellow.) And while length is almost as much fun as girth, by the time we got to Part VII (1986-2013) we were really ready to roll over and go to sleep. Which is why we never got around to finishing the already-started Addendums Parts I – 4, which looked at the films that we somehow missed or skipped in our extended and heavy Parts I through VII. And then we went and lostthe stick we had our Harry Reems file on (a lesson learnt in backing documents up, that was). 
But recently, while trying to distract ourselves from the Covid-related death of our paternal parent, we cleaned house in corners we have never cleaned before — and low and behold! The stick was found, probably where the cat kicked it. 
And so, seven years later to the month, Addendum Part I appeared, much like delayed ejaculation: better late than never. Then came the relatively short but meaty Addendum Part II, followed by the somewhat longer and fatter Addendum Part III. And now, this is the end, my friend: year 1985 and then some... Way back when, we seriously lost interest in the undertaking as of the films around 1985 and after, which is why this Career Review sort of peters out at this point. 
We dedicate these rediscovered Addendum(s) to our departed paternal parent, who inadvertently introduced us to Harry Reems when we, as a late teen, stumbled upon his VHS copy of Deep Throat (1972, see Harry Reems Part II) hidden in the VHS box for Key Largo (1948 / trailer).* 
*He also had The Resurrection of Eve (1973 / Purple Skies and Butterflies) hidden in his To Have and Have Not (1944 / trailer) box, but that 1973 film wasn't funny enough to keep us watching until the end. 
From the soundtrack of Deep Throat
Deep Throat to You All:

 
 
Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II (1969–72) 
Go here for Part III (1973–74) 
Go here for Part IV (1975–79) 
Go here for Part V (1980–84) 
Go here for Part V (1980–84)
Go here for Part VI (1985) 
Go here for Part VII (1986–2013) 
Go here for Part VIII: Addendum Pt I (1969-71) 
Go here for Part IX: Addendum Pt II (1972) 
Go here for Part X: Addendum Pt II (1973-84) 
 
 
Late after Dark
(1985, dir. Stuart Canterbury)
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "Stuart Canterbury directed this movie starring Nina Hartley and Harry Reems. It's for couples that like to get together Late after Dark." No one's bothered to write about the film online, though over at Vintage Erotica Forum a member did offer a slight plot: "It features Jerry Butler as a bar/pub owner closing up the bar and reminiscing about why his marriage is going downhill, about his love life and about some people coming to his bar."
Speaking of Jerry Butler (13 May 1959 — 27 Jan 2018), he was interviewed here at the Rialto Report. Jerry made rare and minute appearances in non-porn productions, such as Chuck Vincent's Preppies (1984 / trailer) and Deranged (1987 / see below),*Hennenlotter's Basket Case (1982), and Mardi Rustam's hilarious Evils of the Night (1985 / trailer).
* Not to be confused with the really great 1974 movie based on the legendary Ed Gein (27 Aug 1906 — 26 July 1984), Alan Ormsby's Deranged (trailer), starring the eternally underappreciated character actor Roberts Blossom. 
Full film —
Chuck Vincent's Deranged(1987):
Among Butler's porn films of note, we must mention the typically Ed Woodian Carlos Tobalina (5 Apr 1925 – 31 Mar 1989) feature fuck film, Sexual Odyssey (1987), with its typically inane Tobalina plot: "Jerry Butler was gay, but after getting in on with Rachel Ashley and Karen Summers he becomes straight!"

 
 
With Love from Susan
(1985, "dir." Hal Freeman)
D2V released the same year as Desperately Seeking Susan(1985 / trailer), the better film upon which Freeman's title refers. Like so many films of this period of porn, it's a cut-and-paste job made of scenes from other films. Here, the selling point is the then-popular porn actress Susan Hart (nee Susanna Probyn), and each scene features her with a different famous [white] stud, including (aside from Harry Reems) Peter North, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice, Paul Thomas and Jesse Eastern.
The Susan Hart giving her love in this obscure clip compilation should, of course, not to be confused with the only slightly less obscure non-porn actress Susan Hart, above, (nee Susan Neidhart) of such fabulous film classics as The Slime People (1963 / trailer) and Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965 / trailer)... for more on her, take a look at R.I.P. Dick Miller, Part I.
 
Non-porn Susan Hart's non-hit from 1981,
Is This a Disco or a Honky Tonk?
Director Hal "Backdoor" Freeman (1936? – 1989), intentionally or not, ended up being a domino in the legalization of pornography. When the Moral Majority* and hypocrites in power at the time in the State of California took him to court on the grounds that hiring people to fuck on film was actually "pandering", the battle reached the California Supreme Court in 1988 — "People v. Freeman"— and "[Freeman] proved to a Grand Jury that because it's being filmed and released it gives it first amendment protection hence legalizing hardcore pornography in California. [Filmow]" 
*"The Moral Majority, which began in 1979 with multi-millionaire minister Jerry Falwell and eventually infected all manner of politics, law, art and culture. The organization set goals that included all the usuals like overturning Roe vs. Wade, making sure gays remained second-class citizens, opposing equal rights measures and affirmative action, censoring or trying to ban things they didn't like, trying to force prayer into schools and saturating the media with propaganda / scare tactics in an effort to convert people over to conservative Christianity. [Bloody Pit of Horror]" Sounds like the current Republican Party to us...
Amidst all his porn productions, in 1987 "director"/producer Hal Freeman made a rare, non-porn gore project, a long-forgotten violent and misogynistic — it was the 80s, after all — horror movie entitled Blood Frenzy, featuring the original Wednesday Addams (Lisa Loring) of The Addams Family TV show (1964-66 / theme song) in a transparent bra. The same year as she made Blood Frenzy, she married working stiff Jerry Butler (see Late after Dark, above), but she and Butler divorced by 1992. 
How are killer lesbians created?
Opening scene to Blood Frenzy:

 
APassage to Ecstasy
(1985, dir. Bob Chinn)
German title: Grenzen der Lust. One of three Bob Chinn films made/released in 1985 that included Harry Reems in the cast. Passage to Ecstasy is to be found all over the net for free, but we couldn't locate a review or detailed plot description. Indeed, the only plot description for Passage to Ecstasy we found was an extremely vague one at the NSFW forumphilia:  "Everyday life of a small European diaspora in a South Asian country (possibly Thailand). Intrigue, betrayal and of course sex."
Harry Reems has a scene with Stacey "I do it for the money" Donovan (nee Kelly Howell), who later dissed the industry for that waste of tax payer's money known as the Meese Commission, and one with Honey Wilder (nee Shirley Thompson-Starks). Honey Wilder, as Shirley Starks, went on to become a successful set decorator and production designer for mainstream film and television productions. (Early in her career as a set decorator, she did such masterpieces as Severed Ties [1992 / trailer], Dollman [1991 / trailer], and Grim Prairie Tales [1990 / trailer].)
Director Bob Chinn, born Robert Husong, a Chinese American, was the inspiration for Burt Reynolds' very Caucasian character, "Jack Horner", in Boogie Nights (1997). 
Trailer to
Boogie Nights:
 
 
Losing Control
(1985, dir. Bob Chinn)

One of three Bob Chinn films made/released in 1985 that included Harry Reems in the cast, in his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988 Jason S. Martinko deigns to say little more about Losing Control than to call it "a fairly obscure Bob Chin movie". Obscure, perhaps, in that no one seems to find it worth writing about, for it is easy to find online.
Of the onscreen couplings, Harry Reems coupled but once and that was with Erica Boyer (22 Dec 1956 – 31 Dec 2009). Ms. Boyer (nee Amanda Margaret Gantt), who retired from porn to Panama City, Fl., with her husband, former football player Derrick Jensen (27 Apr 1956 – 7 Apr 2017), and son, was killed by a hit-and-run driver who later proved to be an off-duty member of the Florida Highway Patrol.
The same year as the porn movie Losing Control was released and didn't make waves, the unknown Irish electropop musician named Barry Warner released his debut single Real Man, which went nowhere, just like the single's B-side, a song not inspired by Bob Chinn's movie of the same name...
Losing Control:
Oh, yeah – The Good Name Never Dies Department: since Chin's film, the title Losing Control has seen two reiterations, neither a remake. 1998 saw Playboy's Losing Control (image below), a softcore thriller directed by Julie Jordan, and 2011 saw a comedy use the title (trailer).
 
 
Fantasies Unltd.
(1985, dir. Bob Chinn)
Of the three Bob Chinn porn flicks made/released in 1985 that included Harry Reems in the cast, this one was the only one shot D2V... "Scriptwriter" Philip Dennis Connors' only non-porno scriptwriting credit we could find is as co-writer of Mardi Rustam's Evils of the Night (see Late after Dark). 
Mardi Rustam's
Evils of the Night (1985):
According to Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, "Tom (Eric Edwards) and Sue (Josephine Carrington) run a business that lets people live out their fantasies, which are put together by a high-tech computer. Tom fantasizes about Sue, but has never had sex with her. The fantasies of the clients make up most of the movie." 
Christie "Yummy" Canyon is presented on the video box as having a major presence in the film, but her singular scene, which opens the film, blinks out and away when the fantasy machine breaks down. Harry Reems' character is also a fantasy figure, a fire inspector, created to fulfill Tamara Longley's fantasy...
Over at the imdb, that literate purveyor of porn lor saw this "winner from Bob Chinn" with a "literate script [that] neatly conveys the message that all this fantasizing can't hold a candle to reality" and wrote: "Team of Eric Edwards and underrated Josephine Carrington run a computer-driven service that permits clients over the phone to live out their sexual fantasies. [...] Key through-line in the script is horny Eric's oft-expressed desire to get into his co-worker's panties [...]. The various clients who play out interesting fantasies include: Tamara Longley humping fire inspector Harry Reems in her kitchen; Goldie [aka Summer Rose] fantasizing making love to plumber Blake Palmer; Eric fancying himself a magician to hump a groupie backstage in the form of Bunny Bleu; plus a brief opening segment featuring Christy Canyon, a vignette of Peter North and his wife plus a fine turn as a fantasy nurse by Brit Stevie Taylor. The climax has Pamela Jennings guesting quite effectively as a zaftigblonde who Eric contrives to be in a would-be three-way with Josephine and himself, but a glitch ends this before he can arrive. [...] Considering the subsequent rise in popularity of computer gaming and now a rush toward 'virtual reality' as the next big thing, this quaint video has some relevance still."
Eric Edwards
explains fluffing:
Eric Edwards, a man who seldom left the thespian corners of porn, made a rare and very short, uncredited, appearance as a gypsy (as did fellow pornsters Arcadia Lake [3 Sept 1957 – 13 Sept 1991], his then-wife, and John Leslie [25 Jan 1945 – 5 Dec 2010]) in the nudity-heavy burning scene tacked onto the slasher The Prey (1983), "one of those movies that amply demonstrates why slasher films don't get that much respect [FMM&R]" and the last feature-film project of Uncle Fester, otherwise known as the actor Jackie "The Kid" Coogan (26 Oct 1914 – 1 Mar 1984).
Trailer to
The Prey (1983):


Talk Dirty to Me One More Time
(1985, writ. & dir. Anthony Spinelli)
By now, the day of groovy porn film posters for even the cheapest of productions was long over: crappy VHS covers like the one above, with hirsute John Leslie (25 Jan 1945 – 5 Dec 2010) in full performance glory, were the new norm — fitting, perhaps, to the general genericness of the product they packaged.
Compare, for example, the VHS cover to Talk Dirty to Me One More Time withthese two posters of earlier movies to feature John Leslie's reliable tool, V – The Hot One (1978) & The Other Side of Julie (1978).
The D2V Talk Dirty to Me One More Time was followed by a dozen of "sequels", but it was itself a "sequel" to AnthonySpinelli's theatrical release Talk Dirty to Me (1980), which also featured Jack (John Leslie) as the main male character (star) of both films. (Even the poster to that first movie, below, is better than the cover image of the VHS sequel.)
Prior to Talk Dirty to Me One More Time, Jack (John Leslie) also appeared in Nothing to Hide (1981), an unofficialsequel to Talk Dirty to Me as Spinelli, due to legal rights, couldn't make an official sequel. Over at Huff Post, Paul Fishbein, the founder and former owner of Adult Video News, rates "1981's Nothing to Hide is the best porn film of all time because it has good acting and a sweet romance that has never been duplicated in a sex flick."
By the time Talk Dirty to Me One More Time was made, Harry Reems may have been a name but drugs and alcohol had already made his "performance capabilities" unreliable, thus his general secondary or tertiary roles. It is perhaps also fitting, then, that in Talk Dirty to Me One More Time he plays a man who pays another man, Jack, to bonk his wife (Colleen Brennan) while he watches — or as the film scholar Linda Williams describes it in Pornography: Film And Culture (edited by Peter Lehman), "In Talk Dirty to Me One More Time, it is a voyeuristic husband's view of his wife that finally cures him of impotence." Elsewhere, a more typical porn synopsis describes the plot as follows: "Leslie is back as the smooth-talking Jack, and this time he is hired by a successful doctor (Reems) to seduce the doctor's wife (Brennen) and turn her into a wild minx in the bedroom. Nikki Charm has an incredible squirt scene here, and this film marks [Brittany] Stryker's first appearance [credited as Judy Jones]."
Director Anthony Spinelli (21 Feb 1927 – 29 May 2000) was one of the busiest directors in pornographic films both during and after the "Golden Age of Porn". BornSamuel Weinstein, under the stage name Sam Weston he began a career as a mainstream actor and producer, but unlike his older brother Jack Weston (21 Aug 1924 – 3 May 1996) — of Wait until Dark (1967 / trailer), Fuzz (1972, see Uschi Part VI), Gator (1976 / trailer) and more — he wasn't all that successful. The biggest success during this period of his career, as "Sam Weston", is undoubtedly (as producer of and bit player in) the unjustly forgotten message film One Potato, Two Potato, Polish poster above, "a very low budget production that made a bit of commotion back when it debuted in 1964. Despite its lowly pedigree (it was filmed in the Cleveland area and the actors were mostly unknowns at the time), the lead actress (Barbara Barrie) received the Best Actress award at Cannes and the film was nominated for an Oscar (Best Writing, Story and Screenplay – Written Directly for the Screen). Sadly, today it's a pretty obscure picture. [imdb]" 
Scene from
One Potato, Two Potato:
Eventually reduced to selling encyclopedia's to support his family, Spinelli entered porn filmmaking in 1971 with Diary of a Nymph— which was not in any way based on the "serious" study of nymphomania originally published in 1961, Dr. Nathan A Shiff's Diary Of A Nymph.

 
 
Deep Chill
(1985, dir. Conrad Fuego)

Direct-to-video "spoof" porn, a.k.a. Deep Thrill. Anyone remember that extremely dull, 1983 yuppie-centric comedy-drama directed by Lawrence Kasdan, a master of Hollywood mainstream product, about a bunch of privileged thirty-something white folks who need to get a life, entitled The Big Chill (trailer)? Basic idea: when one of their kind kills themselves, they all get together for the first time in 15 years and bore the audience while great, classic pop songs play in the background.
A pseudonymous "Conrad Fuego" made this porn take-off two years later slightly less lily white by including two minority porn names in the cast, Kristara Barrington (of Asian descent) and blue-eyed Billy Dee (of Afro-American decent). The basic plot, as revealed by Jason S. Martinko in his book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, remains the same: "In this porn spoof of The Big Chill, friends gather at Rick Savage's house after the funeral of their old pal Jerry Dubin [played by Marc Wallice], who was hooked on drugs and killed himself. Harry Reems suggests that since Jerry was a fun-loving Irishman, they should celebrate rather than mourn his passing. This leads to sexual encounters on every bed and couch in the house. Jerry would have loved the party." Harry Reems appearance is short and sexless — his talents were somewhat less than dependable talents by the time he was earning his drug and alcohol money with cameos like this one.
Is Deep Chillany good? Well, the anal sex scenes were deemed good enough to be later added to compilations like Rear Busters (1988) and Assfucking in the 80s (2008), but inclusion in such money-fishing projects are hardly a true measuring stick of quality. Indeed, the only review we could find, written by fu_q  on 8/17/2017 at adult dvd talk, reveals a seemingly undecided fuq-film fan: "[...] Deep Chill [is] an overall-good, 1985 release from VCX. A takeoff on the early-80s mainstream hit, The Big Chill, this film does a fairly mediocre job as a parody, as it only weakly attempts to capture the theme and emotions of the original material. Moreover, the acting is poor, and the script is paltry. As a porno, however, its sex is fairly strong — headed up by the sexy Kristara Barrington (who does anal) and bolstered by Tiffany Black (who also does anal) and the stunningly erotic Susan Hart. The production values are average(ish), and a lot of time doesn't appear to have been put into set design, etc. It's a shame, really, that more effort wasn't put into the 'feature' side of the production, as a golden opportunity for a truly great adult film was lost."
The legendary Marc Wallice, an anal fan born as Marc Stephen Goldberg, did a rare gay porn flick under the name Don Webber in 1984, Matt Sterling's "classic"A Matter of Size, "one of the gems from the pre-condom era of gay porn", in which he was on both ends of the fun. (Peter North, as Matt Ramsey, is also found in the movie, but he's all hands-only.) That Wallice plays a victim of drugs in Deep Chill is almost typecasting, for he was an infamous bad boy, if one of formidable reliability: it's claimed that he performed in over 1,700 porn films while active as a working stiff. 
 
 
Dream Lover
(1985, dir. Jim Reynolds)
Not to be confused with Alan J. Pakula's flop thriller of the same name, Dream Lover (trailer below), released the following year, starring an at the time still-closeted Kristy McNichol, of the truly enjoyable Little Darlings (1980 / trailer), the contentious White Dog (1982 / see: Dick Miller, Part VI), and the turgid Two Moon Junction (1988 / see: R.I.P. Zalmon King). 
Trailer to
Alan J. Pakula's Dream Lover:
As normal by this time in his career, Reems does only one sex scene. Nora Louise Kuzma (otherwise known as Traci Lords) also has only one scene in this film; by the time she made this D2V film, the "Princess of Porn" had already been in the business for over a year... But, at 17 years of age, she was still one year underage to legally be in films like this. At least in the United States, her presence has been excised from all legally available versions of her films from her heyday as a porn star (including the video-age classic New Wave Hookers [1984]), with the exception of Traci, I Love You(1987), which was filmed after she became of legal age (18). Her first "mainstream" film of her new non-porn life was the 1988 remake (trailer below) of the 1957 Roger Corman science fiction film Not of This Earth (see Dick Miller, Part I). The remake is not a very good film, and when she isn't pouting in it she's displaying copious flesh — more or less for the last time in her career.
Trailer to
Not of This Earth (1988): 
We don't know whether Dream Lover is available in the US without Lords' scene or whether it was reshot with a new starlet, but reviews or plot descriptions are hard to come by. Which is why we once again turn to Jason S. Martinko's book, The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988: "This is a haunted house story about newlyweds Roger (Harry Reems) and Amy (Pamela Jennings). They're thinking about buying an old mansion and Amy sees all sorts of weird paranormal sex activity while Roger is at work. The former owner even shows up having sex with a girl in a foggy room."
The singular review we could find is at imdb, where arcadiafan seems to have watched an illegal version, possibly at one of the myriad of porn sites that have a version of it online: "Amy (Jennings) and her husband (Reems) move into a house that seems to be filled with ghosts of people having sex every place. She wants to tell the real estate agent about it, but the secretary (Traci Lords) is too busy having sex with Tom Byron on her desk to pay much attention to her troubles. Traci and Tom have only one scene in the movie. She's stuck in one position, hollering a lot, and certainly could use a promotion beyond entry level. Maybe if she got on top of things she could be an office manager!"
A song that appeared in neither Jim Reynolds' nor Alan J. Pakula's Dream Lover (poster above), but which surely would have fit well in either, is of course the classic...
Bobby Darin's
Dream Lover (1958):


Educating Mandy
(1985, dir. Royce Shepard)
A starring vehicle for the not-yet-known-to-be-underage reigning Princess of Porn, Tracy Lords — so keep in mind, should you choose to watch it on one of the myriad of porn sites that have a version of it online, you are breaking the law in more ways than one. (Probably not in Western Europe, though.)

The drawing card for us, in any event, would be the co-starring Christy Canyon, who even in her big hair days (the eighties) was a pleasant sight to see... The photo of Christy above is not from Educating Mandy. 
Christy Canyon talks about
working with Traci Lords!
The title of Educating Mandy, a 10-moneyshot fuck film with only all-natural talent is naturally a play upon the film whence it takes its basic idea of a woman gaining an "education", the 1983 comedy-drama directed by Lewis Gilbert(6 March 1920 – 23 February 2018) entitled Educating Rita (1983 / trailer). That film was Gilbert's follow-up directorial project to Moonraker(1979), the most entertainingly retarded James Bond film ever made. Educating Rita, in any event, which was nominated for three Oscars but won none, came in 84th on the British Film Institute's 1999 list of the top 100 "culturally British" films of the 20th century...
Educating Mandy, in comparison, only got nominated as "Best All-Sex Film" at the AVN, but left dry-handed. 
Let's hear it for Goodhead —
Trailer to Moonraker(1979):
The plot to Educating Mandy, as found in Jason S. Martinko's The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988: "Mandy (Traci Lords) seeks the advice of her bisexual friends (Christy Canyon and Heather Wayne) when she discovers her husband (Harry Reems) is cheating [with his secretary, played by Gina Valentino nee Rosalind Lowe]. She ends up in bed with a lawyer named Jim (Peter North), who has wanted her all his life and will be faithful."
An interesting addendum to the plot description found online: "Women may not like this film, but men will be entranced with the lush bodies of Traci and Christy." Reems does the down and dirty, successfully, with Traci Lords and Gina Valentino. 
Official video to
Traci Lords'Control:

 
Hot Nights at the Blue Note Cafe
(1985, dir. Jerome Tanner)
By 2008, director Jerome Tanner had graduated to deeply political films like Who's Nailin Paylin? (2008). 
The supposed plot of Hot Nights at the Blue Note Cafe, as taken from the back cover of the DVD: "When a young and innocent girl (Kari Foxx nee Karin Callieros) comes to the big city and takes a job as a taxi dancer to pay her tuition, she soon finds her education to be faster and racier than she bargained for. Her boss, played by the legendary Harry Reems, gives all his female employees the sizzling, throbbing bonuses a boss is expected to give. When his ex-partner, played by Jamie Gillis, gets out of prison, he derives a plan to turn the nightclub into more than just a dance hall. The sex-starved ex-con figures he can increase profits by having his sensuous taxi dance girls offer more than a simple dance for money, and our country girls learns about the sexual side of life the hard way... very hard." (Plot description aside, Reems does only one sex scene, with Kathlyn Moore, an actress possibly slightly better known as "Sheer Delight". Kari Foxx, BTW, made her porn film debut in this movie.)
The plot might sound simple on paper, but avn.com says, "The plot is nearly incomprehensible, the settings amateurish. Yet, Hot Nights at the Blue Note Cafe is a sizzling sexvid featuring some kinky couplings that'll knock your socks off. [...] But the potentially interesting storyline is forgotten. Once the director introduces the premise, it's off to the sexual races. And all his performers win, place and show everything. [...] Although the Blue Note Cafe of the title is nothing more than a house decorated inexpensively with tables and tacky lighting, most of the sexplay takes place in a nearby bedroom. [...] Often, Hot Nights at the Blue Note Cafe is quite hot and blue. If that's all you care about in a sexvid, spend an evening with it."
Only one non-white person shows up in Hot Nights at the Blue Note Cafe, and he has a non-sex part: you see him above, lower right, manhandling Nina Hartley. Jack Baker (4 June 1947 — 13 Nov 1994), born John-Anthony Bailey in Cleveland, had a minor non-porn career in films that began un-credited in 1965 in Harlow (1965 / trailer) and pretty much ended in 1982 with Tag: The Assassination Game (1982 / German trailer). He turned to porn, doing both sex and non-sex scenes up until his untimely death from bladder cancer. We don't remember his brief appearance in the Pam Grier vehicle Friday Foster (1975 / trailer), but we'll never forget his appearance in The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977, see Marilyn Joi Part IV). 
Jack Baker in
The Kentucky Fried Movie:
 

Loose Ends
(1985, dir. Bruce Seven [4.06.46 – 15.01.00])
An anally fixated film, as can be perhaps inferred by the title, directed by a man whose film titles almost all reveal an anal fixation. Loose Endshas been followed by endless sequels...
The "plot", as explained on the backcover of a DVD release: "The portrayal of anal rituals found on Loose Ends benefits tremendously from its exertingly talented cast. A frustrated Heather (Janey Robbins), never having had and orgasm, seeks out an old schoolmate Linda (Erica Boyer) for new explorations into the mysterious world of lust beyond love. After an unbelievable performance in anal erotica between the two, Linda further bursts Heather's inhibitions as she leads her into the S&M world of Mistress Ann (Karen Summer). Her domineering expertise by her two slaves (Marc Wallice & Tom Byron), and kinkiest sexplorations by an anal-minded supporting cast, reem Heather into sexual plateaus beyond all expectations."
Despite the claim of "Starring Harry Reems", he has butt one scene [HaHahHa], the second sex scene, an anal scene with Erica Boyer. Rame.net, which calls the flick "the absolute best Bruce Seven film ever", says that "the scene is very romantic and the facial is the only downside". 
 
 
Lucky in Love
(1985, writ & dir. Stuart Canterbury)
Banal titles die hard: not to be confused with, and definitely not inspired by, the 1929 musical Lucky in Love, featuring a lot of long forgotten names, like the movie's romantic leads, Morton Downey ( 14 Nov 1901 — 25 Oct 1985) and Betty Lawford (1 Feb 1912 – 20 Nov 1960). 
Morton Downey sings Love Is a Dreamer,
main tune to Lucky in Love (1929):
The [possible] directorial debut of pornster Stuart Canterbury, contrary to what some people think/claim online, the full title of the movie was once upon a time Lucky in Love — The Seduction of a Nerd. That Seduction of a Nerd (poster below) should not be mistaken with the psychotronic flick from 1970, Seduction of a Nerd, the most recent title bestowed upon a movie a.k.a. Mother, Hot Mother, Up Your Teddy Bear and The Toy Grabbers, the only known directorial project of Don Joslyn.
Plot of the Don Joslyn's non-XXX Seduction of a Nerd: "When the indomitable CEO of the Mother Knows Best Toy Company, Mother (Julie Newmar), sees her sales slipping, she goes to extremes to find the next big toy to save her company. She finds her salvation in nerdy toy designer Clyde King (Wally Cox [6 Dec 1924 – 15 Feb 1973]). With the help of her man-child son (Victor Buono [3 Feb 1938 – 1 Jan 1982] of The Evil [1978 / trailer], Arnold [1973 / trailer]), The Mad Butcher [1971 / trailer] and so much more) Mother tries to lure Clyde to the company with a string of luscious prostitutes, all to no avail. Just as Mother is about to give up hope, she discovers that the hapless nerd is truly in love with her, because she reminds him of his mother! [Troma]"
Trailer to
The Seduction of a Nerd (1970):
By the way, although Quincy Jones generally gets all the credit for the music of that movie, he is actually co-composer with guitarist (& songwriter) Ritchie Francis of the unknown and long-gone Welsh group, The Eyes of Blue, who perform the original soundtrack. We couldn't find the music to The Seduction of a Nerd, but we did find:  
The Eyes of Blue —
Supermarket Full of Cans:
But to return to Stuart Canterbury's (possible) directorial debut, which was enough of a success to lead to a sequel a year later Lucky in Love 2 a.k.a. Happy Go Lucky (1988), which does not feature Reems in the cast but is far easier to find online than the first film. The original poster to Lucky in Lovefeatured Reems (playing the nerd, Ronald), but he only had one sex scene with Leslie Winston. (Trivia: Like Reems, Leslie "Got Milk?" Winston went into real estate after leaving porn.)
The lead stud of the movie, like its sequel, was played by Jerry Butler, whose description of the film in his bio is a succinct: "
Shows 'nerdy'Harry Reems the ropes on how to pick up Nina Hartley and Tracey Adams"). Indeed, for its later DVD release, the selling focus is on Nina "GILF" Hartley, who has two sex scenes.
 
Released the same year as the film –
Mick Jagger's single, Lucky in Love (1985):
The only plot description we could find online focuses on her as well: "To be in love you have to be lucky. Nina Hartley is very lucky."Jason S. Martinko's normally mildly informative XXX Filmography isn't all that much more helpful, though they do tell that the film was filmed in San Francisco and Brittany Stryker does a double penetration scene — selling points indeed, for some.
 
  
Older Men with Young Girls
(1985, dir. Jack Remy)
D2V porn, a.k.a. Older Men with Young Women. Both titles say it all. If anyone's watched it, they haven't written about it online; we would think it nothing more than a compilation of scenes from other movies.
Jason S. Martinko's normally mildly informative XXX Filmography doesn't offer much information of use: "Cast: Bunny Bleu, Joanna Storm, Summer Rose, Tamara Longley, Harry Reems, Jerry Butler (non sex), Nick Random, Tyler Reynolds (as Rusty Zipper). This movie was filmed in Los Angeles, California. The screenplay was written by Valerie Kelly. Cinematography was done by Sabre McKay and film editing was done by Conrad Paul. Original music is performed by Sir Gregg. It's also known as Older Men with Young Women." Assuming it's the same Valerie Kelly, twenty years after this film she was a "wardrobe assistant" for a better movie which, despite its title, isn't porn: 
Trailer to
Boy Eats Girls (2005):
To the meager info above, we might add that Harry Reems has two sex scenes, one with Bunny Bleu and one with Joanna Storm and Summer Rose. Joanna Storm, since retired, has the distinction of having an entire LP dedicated to her: The Sporting Bachelors' 1990 release, Love Letters to Joanna(that's her on the cover).

The Sporting Bachelors'
Cry in the Night(from the album):
Amongst the "old men" is Tyler Reynolds, a.k.a. Rusty Zipper (and: Maurice Tyrone, Aries, Lance Henning, Trish Horne, Roger Wills, Terry Mound, Phil Garde, Pencil Sharp, Edmound Hornsby, Ed Pastram, Lance Stringer, Ty Horn, Edmund Hornsby, Jason Welles, W. Tyler Horn, Y. Tyler Horn, Lance Hemmy, Dirk Southgate, Tyler Horne, Theodore Horne, Jason Wells, Phil Gar and probably more names). For his 1997 spread in Playgirl shown below, he chose the name Tyler Horn.
Prior to disappearing, Tyler Reynolds actually made one or two non-porn exploiters, like the absolutely terrible comedy with the grammatically incorrect title, Hey! There's Naked Bodies on My TV! (1979). 
Clip from
Hey! There's Naked Bodies on My TV!
 

Voyeur's Delight
(1986, dir. Still Unknown)
And this D2V hand-helper is just another perfect example of why we lost interest in doing this career review: the entire video is nothing but archive footage — scenes culled "from some of the 1970s' and 1980s' hottest flicks and [...] filled with plenty of amazing all-natural eye candy", stitched together with the thinnest of plot devices: the purloined vignettes are what a "brunette beauty" voyeur sees when looking through a telescope. Harry has fun, one assumes in an apartment across the way, with Jessica Wylde, Lili Marlene and Sheri St. Clair...
Sheri St. Clair, BTW, also appeared in three of Chuck Vincent's non-X-rated movies, including his totally WTF porn-cast-heavy WIP T&A comedy Slammer Girls (1987), a fact we mention so that we can present... 
Chuck Vincent's Slammer Girls 
in 14 minutes:
Harry & Jessica & Lili & Sheri's scene is taken from the 1985 film Obsession, for which we could find no cover art or poster or any real information, other than what is found in Jason S. Martinko's book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, where he writes:"Harry Reems plays a guy who's hit it big and become a millionaire. He invites six of his married high school friends over for a weekend of fun and sex." 
Sounds better than Voyeur's Delight, in any event. Martinko also claims that Obsessionwas directed by Chad Ariana and Jonathan Ross, while Copyright Encyclopedia claim that the Electric Hollywood video release Obsessionwas produced by Chad Ariana and directed by Jonathan Ross. (Electric Hollywood also released Voyeur's Delight.) 
Also from 1985, but in no way related to either of these two D2V handhelpers, the New Wave dance tune Obsession, a cover version of a song from the 1983 TV stripper flick A Night in Heaven (Christopher Atkins strips). A song better than either video discussed here. 
Animotion sings
 Obsession (Dance Mix):
As good titles (?) never die, Voyeur's Delight was reused for a softcore TV flick 19 years later: "Yet another softcore film [...] where a few characters sit around talking as a way to introduce sex scenes which are clips from older softcore shows. [imdb]" The main man of that film is Steven"Man Breasts" St. Croix. 
 
 
And this is where we stopped back in 2013/14, and where we stop now... sort of. There is still an addendum to the addendums: older films and "maybes" that we missed the first time around, but stumbled upon while updating the addendums… five films, cumming soon.

Exhibitionisten Attacke (Germany, 2000)

$
0
0
Another obscure direct-to-video slab of independently made, unmitigated trash from Germany's premiere Outsider filmmaker, Jochen Taubert (born 14 Jan 1968), whose films anyone outside of the German-speaking countries will probably never bother to see, unless of course they are bad-film masochists who happen understand some German and go the extra mile to search them out. In general, we would recommend trash-lovers to watch at least one of Taubert's films someday (perhaps not this one), for we here at a wasted life find his socially irrelevant and intellectually empty examples of ugly, no budget, feature-length idiocy extremely enjoyable when watched in a group with the right state of mind and access to a lot of beer. But then, that is more or less also how Taubert's films are intended to be viewed, according to the filmmaker himself. "Back then [when we made our first film] like now, we always film under the influence of alcohol. It is also imperative not to be sober when watching our films. [ghostshit reviews]"
Exhibitionisten Attacke ("Attack of the Exhibitionists") is possibly/probably his fourth full-length project, made a year after his similar but superior — if one can even use that word when discussing Taubert movies — Ich pisse auf deinen Kadaver ("I Piss on Your Cadaver"). The "plot" this time around involves a mad ninja doctor who turns his mostly male patients into murdering exhibitionists, although only three or so ever truly go the full monty and flash full frontals with out-of-focus, pube-crowned hooded soldiers (hairlessness wasn't really de rigueur yet in 2000), and a young woman singer (Adriane Sondermann) out to stop him. Along the way, more or less everyone introduced on screen dies a bloody or ridiculous death. There is also one singular female exhibitionist, BTW, but she is somewhat demure by usual Taubert standards. 
Exhibitionisten Attacke
minus everything that YouTube might flag:
To talk logic is illogical when it comes to Exhibitionisten Attacke, but if there is any form of logic at all to the film's narrative it is at best dream logic, the kind of narrative development one has in dreams or nightmares: the action continues scene to scene, but no scene really lines up fully logically to the preceding or subsequent one despite coming across as chronological. The dialogue is just as non-sequiturly obtuse — typical example: after the lead female escapes death for the umpteenth time and has even killed an exhibitionist or four, she shows up at band rehearsal and simply excuses her late arrival with, "Sorry, I've had a hard day." Then she sings the crappy techno song (something about saving nature) as the film's only female exhibitionist attacker — at least: she dresses and kills like the other exhibitionists but she never flashes — saunters into the same studio and everyone in the room ignores her as she pours poison into the fog machine which, because that is what one does in a recording studio, gets turned on…
The lead female is the only survivor, of course, and thus narrative continues and everyone around her keeps dropping like flies, sometimes by her own hand. Despite an occasional emotionless outburst of "You asshole!" or "You fiend!" or "Help! There's a killer after me!", the film's heroine more or less just tumbles forward unaffected and unreflective by anything that happens to her. Regardless of whether her brother dies, friends die, her hairdresser dies, she hunts or is hunted by the bad guys, goes shopping for bandages, runs over a seeing-eye dog, or gets chased through the countryside, she remains pretty much nonplussed by the death and destruction around her and just barrels onward and forwards. In that sense, she is a bit like the title character of Christian Marquand's (15 Mar 1927 – 22 Nov 2000) star-studded flop of a filmic take of Terry Southern's Candy (1968 / trailer), with Babe of Yesteryear Eva Aulin, who as Candy just continues in a nonstop and unaffected forward trajectory no matter what sexual shenanigan transpires in her presence. (Again, however: instead of the sexual situations of Candy, in Exhibitionisten Attacke it is just death and blood and terrible acting).
This consistency of inconsistency in dialogue and action and nonsensical forward trajectory of Taubert's movie is indubitably magnified by the fact that Exhibitionisten Attacke was made without a true pre-written screenplay. As Taubert reveals at ghostshit, "No, there is no script, there's a story as a guiding thread and what ends up happening is the result. For example: my friend is a policeman, so a police car shows up; my brother is in hospital, so we shoot at his bed in the hospital; and so forth…."
His brother also ends up being the first exhibitionist attacker, but that flasher isn't around all that long. In the case of Exhibitionisten Attacke, in any event, we would conjecture that true source of the film's creation is the footage of real internal operations that is intercut every time the mad doc is seen operating on one of his future exhibitionists. Taubert probably found it somewhere and knew he just had to use it, somehow, and then the bro in the hospital was just an unexpected extra.
Regardless of the true sequence of inspirational events, the film would probably be "better" without the operation footage. It undeniably serves its purpose, which is to shock and repulse and push boundaries, but it also seems oddly unneeded and, unbelievably enough, clashes with the bloody but childish glee and general immaturity of the rest of the movie. In contrast, the old-man flasher showing his grey-domed skin-turtleneck is likewise an obvious attempt to shock and push borders, but it is puerile instead of nauseating and is at least as groan-inducingly funny as it is distasteful. (The Opawas far from a GILF, in any event.) The OP stuff does little but ruin the taste of one's beer and chips.
Ditto, unexpectedly enough, with the film's only notable female nude scene, which feels oddly dirtier than normal for Taubert's films (at least going by those films that we here at a wasted life have seen). True, the inanity of the situation and how it transpires is played for laughs, but it is shot like illicit porn using a woman who obviously did not want her face shown, thus it exudes an odd almost revenge-porn aura. (We like naked women as much as the next bisexual, but revenge porn sucks.) But then, the situation itself is a hard one to make funny:even filmmakers like Almedover are incapable of successfully playing rape for laughs, so it is hardly surprising a rapey situation in Exhibitionisten Attacke doesn't really work either. What is particularly odd about the scene is that it is the only breast scene of the movie, while Taubert, a typical heterosexual breast man, generally thinks that in film, "Tits are the most important thing. And there are so many [kinds]: big, small, middle-sized, real, silicon… and all of them have nipples. [ghostshit]"
Had, however, more breast been seen in the movie, this singular scene might perhaps not come across as so forced, so un-fun, so pointless. (Indeed, Taubert forwent a major opportunity by not having the four women singing and dancing during the consciously interminably long opening credit scene do their laughably bad singing and dancing naked — indeed, it a shame that the well-orbed but thespian-challenged lead female never truly gets naked once. There are numerous scenes throughout the movie that would've lent themselves well for her to gratuitously get her dress ripped off.)
A true plus point of Exhibitionisten Attacke is that at roughly 1:40 hours in length, it mercifully and enjoyably short (unlike, for example, the painfully long Pundelmützen Rambos[2004]). Without the OP footage, the film would have been both shorter and more fun. But as the "independent and 'amatuuuure'" filmmaker Taubert himself points out, "The best thing about our films is that you can go to the toilet while the film is running and you don't miss anything." Our suggestion would be to use the OP-footage to take a pee, get a new beer, concentrate on rolling that joint or doing something similar, and to enjoy the rest of the movie for what it is: the apogee of filmmaking inability, and a visual and moving illustration of a total lack of anything remotely professional, be it the mildest capacity to tell a story, act, direct, do special effects or gore, anything. Enjoy! 
Trailer to Taubert's most recent & professional film, Romeo & Julia, Liebe ist ein Schlachtfeld [Love Is a Battlefield]:

Short Film: Duck and Cover (USA, 1952)

$
0
0
 
"We all know the atomic bomb is very dangerous..."
 
Originally we planned to just take a look the theme song to this short as a Music from Movies post — see Music from Movies: Zatoichi, Music from Movies: The Black Klansman, and Music from Movies: The Green Slime but somewhere along the way we decided that this classic slice of Cold War celluloid really deserved to be a Short Film of the Month.
Really: we have probably all heard of this thing, but how many (especially those born after 1970) have actually seen this classic, "1952 civil defense animated live-action social guidance film"? In 1999, Duck and Cover received the honor of being inducted into the US National Film Registry, which describes the film thus: "This landmark civil defense film was seen by millions of schoolchildren in the 1950s. As explained by Bert the Turtle, to survive an atomic attack you must 'duck and cover.'" A description that totally ignores the film's most attractive aspect today: it's pretty funny.
But before we look at the film, let's take a gander at the catchy title track, entitled Bert the Turtle (Duck and Cover) written by Leon Carr and Leo Corday, and sung by the Chicago-based singer and entertainer Dick "Two Ton" Baker (2 May 1916 – 4 May 1975); in its day, it sold three million copies (though some sales may have been due to the 45's A-side song, Fuzzy Wuzzy [contemporary cover version]). Baker, a successful local musician in Chicago who once said, "The only thing I've ever wanted to do in this world is play piano and sing on the radio. This isn't work, it's play — and I'm getting paid for it!", released other popular novelty songs over the course of his career, including everyone's favorite, I Like Stinky Cheese. Oddly enough, however, Two Ton's version of Bert the Turtle (Duck and Cover), though obviously enough released* as a tie-in to the film, is actually a cover version. The original version heard in the film is sung by a typically generic easy listening chorus, by all accounts arranged by the jazz musician Dave Lambert (19 June 1917 – 3 Oct 1966) of Lambert, Hendricks & Ross. 
*It was released by Coral Records, a subsidy of Decca whose roster included such great as Patsy Cline and Liberace. Coral ceased to exist in 1973. 
Dick "Two Ton" Baker sings
Bert the Turtle (Duck and Cover):

The short itself was filmed somewhere in Queens in the autumn of 1951 by the Manhattan-based advertising firm Archer Productions. "The first public showing of Duck and Cover (and Our Cities Must Fight*) was at the Alert America Convoy launch in Washington, D.C. on January 7, 1952. The Alert America Convoy was the grand gesture of the new FCDA [Federal Civil Defense Administration]. The convoy comprised three caravans of 10 large trucks and trailers that toured the country for nine months in 1952. Each vehicle contained various civil defense exhibitions including dioramas, posters, three-dimensional models and movies. The theme of the convoy was to show what 'might happen' and then provide education on what every citizen could do to 'beat the bomb.' The Advertising Council, working closely with the FCDA, promoted the convoy like a Hollywood B-movie with screaming posters that read: 'Don't miss it…it's the show that could save your life!' [Conerad]" 
*Like Duck and Cover, Our Cities Must Fight was an Archer Productions production. 
Obviously intended for a young audience, this "educational" film enjoyed a long life despite already being pulled from circulation by the contracting Federal Civil Defense Administration by June, 1955, and being officially declared "obsolete" by the same administration in 1957. (For more info on all that, see Jake Hughes's essay at the National Film Registry.) But as every American knows: if a school ever bought an educational film, it was shown until it fell apart, so this short continued to be screened for years to come. Thus the film was indelibly burned into the brains of generations of kids and, once it was truly no longer shown in schools, it achieved a second life as pop reference material perfect for such fun stuff as the documentary The Atomic Café (1982), a 2013 National Film Registry induction, or Weird Al Yankovic's Christmas at Ground Zero (1986) 
Full short —
Duck & Cover:

Like most educational and/or civil defense films, the cast is a cast of nobodies. Perhaps some went on to this or that level of fame and success in business or crime, but as the names are unknown we will never know. One name is known, however: that of the narrator. Duck and Cover is one of the first known film projects of the deceased and mostly forgotten American character actor Robert Middleton (born Samuel G. Messer, 13 May 1911 – 14 June 1977), who went on to have a decent career usually playing the bad guy.
Aside from his numerous TV appearances, he can be found in such fine feature-film fare as Paul Newman's film debut The Silver Chalice (1954 / trailer), the classic noir The Big Combo (1955 / full film), The Desperate Hours (1955 / trailer), Elvis Presley's film debut Love Me Tender (1956 / trailer), The Glass Cage (1964 / full film), Nancy Sinatra's film debut For Those Who Think Young (1964 / trailer), Which Way to the Front? (1970, see Dick Miller, Part III), The Harrad Experiment (1973 / trailer), and the anti-classic The Lincoln Conspiracy (1977 / full film). 
As an added attraction —
Billy Chambers' 1962 non-hit, Fallout Shelter*:

* "Fallout Shelter, which was recorded in two or three takes along with the ironically titled A-side of the disk (That's When I Stopped Living), was sung by 24-year-old Billy Chambers and a chorus of back-up singers from Florida Southern College. Chambers, who was in a rock band called the Dynamics, was recruited for the session because [producer & writer Bobby] Braddock liked the singer's voice. This record would remain the only solo music issued by Chambers, who left show business shortly after the single's release for the more stable field of construction. Chambers passed away in 1991 at the age of 52 from cancer.[Conerad]" 
Lastly: For another take on when the bomb falls, let us suggest either our Short Film of the Month for September 2015, A Short Vision (1956), or for February 2018, Pica-Don(1978).

Carnosaur (USA, 1993)

$
0
0

"The earth was not made for us, she was made for the dinosaurs."

Dr. Jane Tiptree (Diane Ladd)

This review meanders... go down just past the Carnosaur trailer should you not enjoy verbosity.
Let's hear it for mad scientists (cum doctors): where would the world be without them? The staple of bad films everywhere, the prototype of course comes from literature, namely the good ol' doctor Frankenstein (1818), with the next mad docs of note arguably being the eponymous ones of Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1886) and H. G. Wells's The Island of Doctor Moreau (1896).

All three mad-to-misdirected men have been portrayed on-screen many times, the earliest versions being, for Moreau, neither Charles Laughton (1 Jul 1899 – 15 Dec 1962) in The Island of Lost Souls(1932) nor Erich Kaiser-Tilz (7 Oct 1875 – 22 Nov 1928) as Prof. McClelland in the unauthorized German version Die Insel der Verschollenen a.k.a. The Island of the Lost (1921), but someone unknown in a lost British film from 1913, The Island of Terror; for Dr Jekyll, neither John "I Need A Drink" Barrymore (14 or 15 Feb 1882 – 29 May 1942) in John S. Robertson's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1920 / full movie) nor King Baggot (7 Nov 1879 – 11 July 1948) in the 1913 short of the same name (full short), but Hobart Bosworth (11 Aug 1867 – 30 Dec 1943) in a lost version from 1908; and for Dr Frankenstein, not Colin Clive (20 Jan 1900 – 25 June 1937) in the undisputed classic must-see Frankenstein (1931 / trailer) but, some three or five film versions earlier, Augustus Phillips in James Searle Dawley'ssilent short Frankenstein (1910, our Short Film of the Monthfor May 2021). [In a total aside: John Barrymore's fourth and final wife, Elaine Barry, starred in our Short Film of the Month for March 2016, Dwain Esper's How to Undress in Front of Your Husband (1937).] The archetypical filmic portrayal of the mad scientist is probably Rotwang (Rudolf Klein-Rogge of Hexen[1949 / full film / poster below]) in Metropolis(1927 / trailer), but the generally male stock character itself comes in many shapes and sizes in fun and not-so-fun films throughout film history.*
 
*Of the films we've reviewed here, the mad doctor/scientist films that promptly come to mind are The Brain that Wouldn't Die (USA, 1959),Maniac(USA, 1934) Re-Animator (USA, 1985) and The Monster Maker(USA, 1944), but as little as a two-minute perusal of the list of reviewed films found to the left finds: Alien Lockdown / Creature (USA, 2004), The Asphyx (Great Britain, 1973), Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla (USA, 1952), BrainWaves /Mind Games (USA, 1983), Corpses (USA, 2004), Corruption (Great Britain, 1968), The Curse of Frankenstein (Great Britain, 1957), Dante 01 (France, 2008), Devil Species (2004), Dr. Chopper (USA, 2005), Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (Great Britain, 1971), Dr. M (Germany, 1990), Event Horizon (USA, 1997), Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy / Sharkman(USA, 2005), the surreal gore porn Hardgore (USA, 1974)...
Trailer to Tod Browning's
 The Devil-Doll (1936):
As probably to be expected in this perfect world of omnipresent equal rights and universal equality, female mad scientists (like Afro-American ones*) are a far rarer breed. In literature, perhaps the earliest of the "lunatic ladies in the laboratory"is the titular protagonist of George Griffith's long out-of-print 1894 novel, Olga Romanoff (akaThe Syren of the Skies), who has never made the jump to the silver screen. On screen, the first might be housewife-turned-mad-scientist Malita, played by an immensely enjoyable Rafaela Ottiano (4 Mar 1888 – 18 Aug 1942), in Tod Browning's The Devil-Doll (1936 / trailer above, starring John Barrymore). Thereafter, the first "real" (mad) female scientists to promptly come to our mind are Dr Myra (Katherine Victor) of the no-budget anti-classic Teenage Zombies (1959),  Dr Lil Stanhope (Renee Harmon) of Frozen Scream (1980), and Dr. Pamela Isley aka Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) of the mega-budget, ultra-campy critical flop, Batman & Robin with Nipples (1997 / trailer). A name that we now know must be added to that illustrious list of three is that of Dr. Jane Tiptree (Diane Ladd), of this Roger Corman production, Carnosaur.
*Though we do promptly think of The Blob(1988 / trailer) remake and, of course, Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Black (1976 / trailer). The first Black mad doctor to appear in film, however, appeared eight years after the first Dr. Frankenstein: an unknown actor plays the unnamed mad-doctor daddy of the "race film"Mercy, the Mummy Mumbled (1918 / what's left of it), a 13-minute comedy short that is more or less a Black-cast remake of the white-cast short, The Egyptian Mummy (1914 / full film). "[Mercy, the Mummy Mumbled]was made by the 'Historical Feature Film Company [us]', which was a white-run company, but distributed by the Ebony Film Company [us]' to make it appear that it was released by a black-controlled company. [imdb]" True, but the statement glosses over the fact that Mercy was, nevertheless, "an all-Black production in terms of the director, writers, production crew and actors," as Scared Silly points out. But as Scared Sillyalso goes on to say, the film is problematic in many ways. (Go to Scared Sillyto find out more.) In turn, if one looks at the definition of "mad scientist/doctor" loosely, the first female Black mad doctor (actually less mad than simply misguided) is probably Dr Jackson (Laura Bowman) of "the first science fiction horror film to feature an all-black cast," the contentious Son of Ingagi (1940 / full film). 
Trailer to
Carnosaur:
As directed and written by scriptwriter & director Adam Simon (co-scripter of Bones [2001] and S&D of the pretty good Brain Dead [1990 /trailer]), this dino film and its mad doctor sit amidst appropriate company when it comes to the three previously listed "mad female doctor" films. Like the previously mentioned movies, a masterpiece this movie is not — but then, who really expects a film named something like Carnosaur to actually be a "good" movie? Based, in theory, on the eponymously named book from 1984 by some guy named John Brosnan (7 Oct 1947 – 11 Apr 2005), the script for Carnosaur takes so many liberties with its source material that it could be argued that the original novel has yet to be adapted.*
*A relatively productive author with diverse pen names (Carnosaurwas written, for example and as you can see below, by Harry Adam Knight), Brosnan saw three feature-film adaptations of different books of his during his lifetime: this film here, Proteus(1995 / trailer), based on Slimer, and Beyond Bedlam aka Nightscare (1994 / full movie), based on Bedlam. While some see Brosnan's novel Carnosaur as derivative of Michael Crichton's best seller Jurassic Park, Carnosaur preceded the latter author's novel by six years.
Even if the source novel of Carnosaur was not a rip-off, the film itself is of course and definitely a cheap & quick attempt by Corman's Concorde-New Horizons production house to rip off and ride on the coattails of 1993's big budget hit production, Spielberg's Jurassic Park (trailer). In an inspired casting turn, Corman even got Diane Ladd, the real-life mother of that film's lead female actor, Laura Dern, to play Carnosaur's mad scientist. As might be expected of a professional actor whose feature-film career spans back to an un-credited appearance in Something Wild (1961 / trailer) — Lane's first credited feature-film appearance is in The Wild Angels (1965 / trailer)*— she does an unexpectedly professional acting job considering that she's working with a one-note stock character ("mad scientist"). Indeed, her thespian turn and that of Harrison Page,** as the one-note stock character Sherriff Fowler, are notably miles above the quality of the absolutely terrible acting job Raphael Sbarge (of The Hidden II [1994 / trailer]) does playing the movie's male lead and hero, the security guard "Doc" Smith. Sbarge is simply unconvincing throughout the film as either hero or nice guy, but it is during his attempts at playing drunk that he achieves an almost sublime textbook example of everything you can do wrong when "acting" a drunkard. One can only wonder that unlike the somewhat nominally better female lead of the movie, Jennifer Runyon***(playing the eco-activist Ann "Thrush"), he maintained an acting career after this film.****
*Diane Ladd and fellow co-star Bruce Dern were already 5 years married when they appeared together in this legendary Roger Corman movie starring Peter Fonda and Nancy Sinatra. According to common Hollywood lore, their daughter Laura Dern was conceived during the shoot of this movie. (See Dick Miller, Pt II.)
**Harrison Page might be not be in all that many feature films, but he started his career with two roles of note: he made his debut playing the Afro-American draft dodger Niles in Russ Meyer's classic Vixen! (1968 / trailer) and then appeared in Meyer's camp masterpiece Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970 / trailer / see R.I.P. Charles Napier) as Emerson Page, the good-guy beau of the bodacious Petronella Danforth (Marcia McBroom) versus her hotly muscular and violent one night stand, Randy Black (James Iglehart). Iglehart may have had the muscles, but Page got the acting career.
***Runyon, aged 33, who made her film debut in David Hess's slather To All a Good Night (1980 / trailer / see R.I.P. Harry Reems Pt. V), retired from acting after this movie. In the teens of the 21st century, she returned to make special appearances in three films: Silent Night, Bloody Night 2: Revival (2015 / trailer), Terror Tales (2016 / trailer) and Bloodsucka Jones vs. the Creeping Death(2017 / trailer).
****The only other actor of note, whom we fail to mention in our review, is everyone's favorite Republican, the cult actor Clint Howard. He does a typical Clint Howard turn, if perhaps a bit more subdued than normal, and then dies.
As a rip-off of a blockbuster, Carnosaur comes nowhere close to being as good as the best of earlier Corman blockbuster rip-offs like John Sayles's Alligator (1980) and Joe Dante's Piranha (1978 / see R.I.P. Dick Miller Pt V). The flaw lies not just in the uneven acting, but far more in the substandard episodic script, atrocious editing and dearth of humor. Not that there is no humor present in Carnosaur, just that too much of it is budget-related (the "big showdown", with its obvious toy trucks and dinos, is pretty funny) or is lost amidst the bad acting and editing, the latter of which causes the movie to come across as if swathes of the narrative were inexplicably ripped out and left on the editing room floor. The result is that the narrative often feels like a bunch of scenes strung together but lacking the bridge between them. Not that these gaps make the movie hard to follow, they merely make the narrative extremely inconsistent and full of "Huh?" moments.
On the whole, the movie is as much a mad doctor and dinosaur-on-the-loose film as it is — fitting to the times we chose to finally watch it — a pandemic movie. If we got the plot right: Dr. Tiptree (Ladd), hired to biotech-pimp chicken, instead creates a virus that infects everyone but also specifically causes women (including, one would suppose, post-menopausal women) to self-fertilize and give — in belly-bursting homage to Alien (1979 / trailer) — birth to chicken-basedcarnosauria. Prior to this mass fertilization, however, one baby carnosaurus (born to a chicken) gets loose and lays waste to almost everyone introduced anywhere in the movie. The government is then called in to handle the situation, but as to be expected it basically lays everyone else to waste in their typically SNAFU fashion...
Anti-big business, anti-biotech, anti-government and oddly anti-woman (the ability to get pregnant definitely feels like a biological flaw in this film), Carnosaur is definitely third-rate Corman trash, far closer in its entire id to the ineptitude and lack of intelligence of Piranha II: The Spawning (1982 / trailer) than the film that that slice of Italo-trash followed. But much like that Z-film, there is a lot to be found in Carnosaur for fans of cinematic flotsam to enjoy: you name it, but for Diane Lane and Harrison Page and most of the practical gore effects, it is all laughably terrible. And to crown off all that badness, screenwriter/director Adam Simon has the cahonasto pay a direct homage to the ironic, hard-hitting and extremely bleak ending of the original George Romero version of The Crazies (1973 / trailer). (Kudos, dude!)
Yep, Carnosaur is pretty crappy, but in a fun way. It goes well with pizza and beer. That said, the less you expect the more you'll probably be able to enjoy it.
A success during its theatrical release, Carnosaur went on to spawn two direct-to-video sequels: Carnosaur 2 (1995 / trailer), with the great John Heard, and Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (1996 / trailer). Roger Corman, being the legendary penny-pincher that he is, also reused Carnosaur footage in Raptor (2001 / trailer) and The Eden Formula (2006 / trailer) — the last wreckage of a film with Dee Wallace, Tony Todd and Jeff Fahey! 
Cinema Dinosaurs (1920-2015):


Little Monsters (Australia, 2019)

$
0
0
An enjoyable rom-zom-com that is much better than it should be, above all due to the screen presence of Lupita Nyong'o (of Us[2019 / trailer]), looking absolutely smashing in her yellow summer dress, an actress who, like Anya Taylor-Joy (of The Witch [2015 / trailer] & Marrowbone[2017 / trailer]), is as talented as she is eye candy and who tends to steal all scenes simply by being in them. But while Nyong'o does definitely take over the movie once she appears as kindergarten teacher Miss Caroline, the initial main focus of the arguably mistitled Little Monsters— a title that would better apply to a film like Cooties(2014), where the kids do indeed become little monsters, than a film like this in which all the brats are actually ideal children and never turn — is on a loser dickwad named Dave (Alexander England). 
Trailer to
Little Monsters:
An irresponsible and washed-up guitarist who still dreams of making it big one day with his band, despite the fact that the band has long disbanded, for much of the film he is interested in no one but himself. And he isn't very interesting. In that sense, Little Monsters is as much about him growing as a person as it is about a zombie outbreak, an outbreak which, combined with Miss Caroline's dedication to her job and duty to keep her children safe (and her breathtakingly wholesome allure), as well as the unquestioning and innocent respect and camaraderie that Dave's young nephew Felix (Diesel La Torraca) gives Dave, acts as the catalyst to make the self-involved, late-20-something-year-old become a meaningful member of society, if not a viable candidate for a job as an elementary school class assistant. (Do schools still even have class assistants?) Oh, yeah: and get the girl.
Dave is introduced during the credits, which show him and his girlfriend obnoxiously arguing nonstop is a series of social situations – a caustically funny (if annoying) opening that offers a good reflection of a relationship from hell. (Realistic enough that if you've ever had a similar relationship, you might be tempted to watch a different film. Don't.)
As a self-fixated enabler and egoist, Dave is not observant enough to realize his own role in the lost cause, and once it implodes and he ends up on the couch of his working single-mom sister, he can only think about getting back together again. (One can only wonder why anyone would want to be with him, though; his ex, in any event, is a lot easier to understand as a person than he, but she is in the end a less-than-tertiary character that disappears once no longer needed.)
His Darth Vader-fixated young nephew is more than willing to help, which sets up the first truly funny scene of the movie. Indeed, there is no scene in which Darth Vader appears that does not work, including one in which a substantial amount of dread leads up to a cute (if not highly relieving) resolution.
The movie hits its stride when Felix's kindergarten class, headed by Miss Caroline, takes a day trip to a nature farm where the popular kid's show host Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad) is making an appearance. Dave, smitten Miss Caroline (what cis-gender male wouldn't be?), finagles his way onto the bus as chaperone in the hope of getting the gal — a goal he would probably be doomed to fail at, were the shit not to hit the fan. Even as they arrive, a zombie outbreak occurs at a nearby military base, and before long Dave, Miss Caroline and the class appear to be the only people at the nature park who aren't zombies.
And it is at that point that film truly becomes enjoyable. It doesn't exactly skimp on the blood, as the undead are as hungry as they are slow walkers, but most of the death and gore occurs or is led up to in a manner that easily and often garners smiles and laughs, and most if not all of the dialogue is trenchant and funny. And as for Miss Caroline, she might be a sunshine babe, but behind that sweet and polite demeanor is a strong woman with a definite sense of responsibility, and it is just as much fun to watch how she uses her teacher skills to save her kids as it is to see her get her dress blood-drenched through decisive hands-on action. (That woman is a keeper!)
And her dedication and resolve does something to Dave, as well: it helps him grow beyond himself, take on responsibility, actively get involved in saving the children and not just himself. His growth and corresponding actions are also played well against the only other adult that has survived the zombie outbreak, the kid-hating and even-more self-obsessed kid's show host Teddy McGiggles, a man who would be willing to let a whole class of kids become zombie fodder before opening a door and allowing them to enter a "safe" refuge.
As is often the case, however, the final resolution is less than satisfying. They manner in which they escape, and the sheer luck that intervenes and plays a role in their survival, are both perfectly acceptable and humorous enough to be in line with the narrative development of the whole movie. The mounting tension regarding how the military might react as they get closer to the edges of the outbreak area is also well-cultivated, even as the situation of the class garners giggles. What doesn't work is the last five minutes, when the military talk to the parents and then everyone goes to see the survivors behind glass in quarantine. True, what one sees is only the culmination of Dave's journey to becoming a better person, but it nevertheless feels fake and too sugary. It is an ending that screams "rewrite me", and that shows that no one was listening. It's a shame that after all that preceded that scene, the filmmakers couldn't come up with a resolution a bit less G-rated and grating.
For all the good and bad of Little Monsters, it is on the whole and enjoyable zom com, one that you can even watch with your non-zombie-loving relationship. (Even more so than that other rom-zom-com for non-zombie-loving significant others, Warm Bodies [2013 / trailer].) But truth be told, were it not for the way Lupita Nyong'o literally steals the show and lights up every scene she's in (all the while remaining believable as a character), the movie would probably be a failure. She is an actor to watch, as she has talent to spare.

Film Fun: Music from Movies – Vampire Hookers (1978)

$
0
0
Vampire Hookers is a mid-career US/Filipino exploitation film of the Filipino grand trashmaster Cirio H. Santiago (18 Jan 1936 – 26 Sept 2008), a man we've looked at in passing in both R.I.P.: Jim Kelly, Part II (see: Strangleholdand/orUltimatum [1994 / trailer]) and R.I.P. Dick Miller, Part IV: 1974-76(see: TNT Jackson [1974 / trailer]), if not elsewhere on our blog. (For more info on the fecund Filipino exploitation scene of the 70s & 80s, we suggest the 2010 documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed [trailer below].)
Trailer to
Machete Maidens Unleashed:
Santiago's exploitation movies, this one included, are generally entertaining examples of terrible direction, bad acting, sloppy post-dubbing, harsh lighting, cheap effects, topless babes and primitive editing — in other words, enjoyably fun flotsam.
In the theatres and on the video shop self, Vampire Hookers (aka Vampire Hookers of Horror) was found under diverse titles, including Ladies of the Night, Night of the Bloodsuckers, Sensuous Vampires, Graveyard Tramps, Twice Bitten and more — currently, as we write this (18 Jan 21), it can be found on Amazon Prime under its Vampire Playgirls moniker. 
Trailer to
Vampire Hookers:
Over at the Science Fiction, Horror and Fantasy Film Review, which by saying that they "suspect that Vampire Hookersmight have been better off as a comedy" reveal the startling fact that they didn't even realize that it is supposed to be a comedy, one finds a quick plot description: "Two US Navy sailors Tom Buckley (Bruce Fairbairn) and Terry Wayne (Trey Wilson[21 Jan 1948 – 16 Jan 1989] of Raising Arizona [1987 / trailer]) are on shore leave in Manila and looking to get laid. Fellow officer Eddie Taylor (Lex Winter) is set up with Cherish (Karen Stride), a beautiful local girl he meets in a bar. She takes him back to her place — a mausoleum in the local cemetery. Waiting there is the aging vampire Richmond Reed* (John Carradine [5 Feb 1906 – 27 Nov 1988] of The Monster Club [1981], Shock Waves [1977], The House of Frankenstein [1944] and so much more) and two other girls [Suzy (Lenka Novak) and Marcy (Katie Dolan)], who proceed to drink Eddie's blood. In trying to find what happened to their friend, Tom and Terry also stumble into the lair of the vampire hookers." 
*Trivia: John Carradine's "real" name, as in the one given to him at birth by his parents, was Richard Reed Carradine. 
"If you thought the nadir of vampire comedies was Freddie Francis'The Vampire Happening (1971 / trailer) or Carl Schenkel's Dracula Blows His Cool(1979 / trailer), then you haven't experienced Vampire Hookers. [...] Carradine entertains himself spouting Shakespeare throughout [and] in between some of the cheesier lines ('Blood is thicker than water' he says when one of his vampire babes says she would prefer a Scotch and water), but I wouldn't call it any more of a dignified performance than Vincent Price in Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984 / trailer). The other actors are hampered by the script ('It's not murder, it's dinner!') with Fairbairn coming across the best as the straight man while Wilson's Texan fraidy cat is grating. [...] The surprise ending will be no surprise to anyone who has seen The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967 / trailer), The Devil's Wedding Night (1973 / trailer) or either of the Count Yorga films (1970 / trailer& 1971 / trailer). The ubiquitous Vic Diaz (29 Jul 1932 – 15 Sept 2006) is once again on hand, here as moronic wannabe-vampire manservant Pavo who spends much time playing vampire — with a burlap sack cape and fake fangs — and farting. [DVD Drive-In]"
But before we here at a wasted life digress and begin rambling, let's look at the music to this film, both the soundtrack and the title track. The only person credited is the prodigious Bolivian-American composer and conductor Jaime Mendoza-Nava (1 Dec 1925 – 31 May 2005), a talented musician behind the music of a multitude of fondly and not-so-fondly remembered trash projects — including the soundtrack (but not the title song) presented in Film Fun: Music from Movies – The Black Klansman (USA, 1966). We would posit that Mendoza-Nava possibly wrote the music to the title track, Vampire Hookers, though the catchy tune has very little stylistic congruency to the composer's normal music. (Likewise, Mendoza-Nava was never known as a lyricist, so it is extremely doubtful that he wrote the fabulously tacky lyrics.) Try as we might, the identity of the singer remains a mystery we could not solve — indeed, online there is almost zero information about the song, which also seems to never to have had a release on vinyl (for which the world is definitely a culturally poorer place). We were able, however, to find the lyrics, which we present further below. 
Closing credits to Vampire Hookers
with the full song (almost):

Lyrics to Vampire Hookers: 
Don't get hooked by a hooker 
When you sail in seven seas 
Even though she's a looker 
She can bring you to your knees. 
She'll take you to the graveyard 
And try to ease your fears, 
But her friends out in the graveyard 
Have been dead for a hundred years.
They're the Vampire Hookers 
Yeah, they're Vampire Hookers 
Well, they're Vampire Hookers 
And blood is not all they suck!
These girls are illusions, 
They slit throats from ear to ear. 
They want you for transfusions, 
They'll never shed a tear. 
They make real Bloody Marys 
And have a grand old time, 
But you'll find out if you visit 
That your life's not worth a dime….
… To those Vampire Hookers 
Yeah, they're Vampire Hookers 
Well, they're Vampire Hookers 
And blood is not all they suck!
So if you meet a hooker 
And she seems so sweet and kind, 
Be careful if you date her, 
Your life may be on the line. 
They're beautiful and sultry 
But they're not what you expect. 
You'll be begging them for mercy 
[As they bite you in the neck 
They're the Vampire Hookers 
Yeah, they're Vampire Hookers, 
Well, they're Vampire Hookers 
and blood is not all they suck! 
 
But to return to the movie: "[...] Vampire Hookers is a gonzo bit of WTF, where Carradine's pimp bloodsucker makes wild claims like 'Shakespeare and Walt Whitman were both vampires.' Startlingly inept, yet never less than entertaining in that 'what the hell is even going on?' fashion [...]. This is absurdist weirdness of the highest order, peaking with a ten-minute orgy scene where the most titillating aspect is all the tan lines visible on these ladies of the night. [BirthMoviesDeath]"
Of the three titular vampire hookers, Marcy (Katie Dolan) and Cherish (Karen Stride) came from and returned to obscurity with this relatively obscure film, though brunette Karen Stride did do some nude modeling and had negligible to minor appearances in three other even more obscure movies: the blackly funny Runaway Nightmare (1982 / trailer), the lost Stella Stevens vehicle Ladies Night(1983), and Three-Way Weekend (1979). The third vampire hooker, the blonde Suzy (Lenka Novak), does however deserve a second look, if only because she exuded an aura in her few film appearances that indicated that her talent lay not just in the jiggle of her inviting breasts. (We mention her in passing in our Babe of Yesteryear entries Uschi Digard, Part X: 1977 and Marilyn Joi, Part IV: 1977-80.)
Lenka Novak — that's her above on the cover of the Dec 78 issue of Oui magazine — had a very brief career before disappearing, but she is remembered by many for her absolutely unforgettable appearance in the classic "Catholic High School Girls In Trouble" skit found in Kentucky Fried Movie (1977 / trailer), the skit we look at in both Babe of Yesteryearentries mentioned above. She has an un-credited appearance in some of the footage Al Adamson shot and added to Käpt'n Rauhbein aus St. Pauli (1971 / a song) to make Nurses for Sale (trailer), a film we glance at in R.I.P. Heinz Reincke and Janine Reynaud, Part II – 1969-2000, but alongside Vampire Hookers, all her major credited film appearances happened between 77 & 79:  Moonshine County Express (1977 / trailer), Coach (1978 / trailer) and, credited as Hana Byrbo, The Great American Girl Robbery (1979 / trailer), the last of which is also looked at in Marilyn Joi, Part IV: 1977-80. But then, Ms. Novak disappeared… until 1988, when she suddenly reappeared one last time for a small part in the unknown horror comedy, Slaughterhouse Rock (1988 / trailer) and then disappeared again.
To the common knowledge reiterated above, we might add: Prior to Lenka Novak's short film career, as Olivia Paddon (and occasionally Olivia Elliot or Lonka Berova) she was extremely active in Europe as what would now be considered an often under-age glamour model. (The collection of 50 different cover appearances was found at Vintage Erotica.) Boobepedia lists her place of birth as Shrewsbury, UK, but most other sites say she is of Scandinavian origin. In 2019, JR-Sploitation was nice enough to claim: "Lenka is still alive and well and residing in the Los Angeles area. She is a very active person and enjoys the outdoors, traveling and hiking. She is 62 years old now and was from Sweden originally. She started her career off as a nude model over in Europe [...]. This was several years before her Playboy appearance and was also in several other US nudie mags such as Ouiand Juggs. She got married at the end of the 80s and started a family afterwards and decided to drop out of the public spotlight."
Anyways, should you ever get around to actually watching Vampire Hookers and find yourself liking it, then let us briefly draw your attention to the film's scriptwriter Howard R. Cohen (12 Aug 1942 – 3 Apr 1999). He went on to write and direct diverse films of greater and lesser non-note, including a guilty pleasure of ours, the more funny than it deserves to be if not downright quaint PG-rated horror comedy Saturday the 14th(1981 / trailer); a film we think sucks, Space Raiders (1983); and a breast-centric cult-film fav, Barbarian Queen (1985 / trailer). (The last film, you might recall, features the actress Lana Jean Clarkson [5 Apr 1962 – 3 Feb 2003], whose star was already fading when she met her tragic end at the wrong side of Phil Spector's gun.) At the same time that Cohen & Santiago made Vampire Hookers, they also joined forces to make the cult samurai Blaxploitation film, Death Force (1978). Both VH& DF were shown together as a double bill at more than one low-rent movie house (which is perhaps why Vinegar Syndrome combined them for a double DVD release in 2013). 
Trailer to
Death Force(1978):

Erotic Nights of the Living Dead (Italy, 1980)

$
0
0
One might assume that if you combine the "talents" of Joe D'amato (15 Dec 1936 – 23 Jan 1999), Laura Gemser and George Eastman, you would end up with a mildly entertaining film. (Then again, maybe not.) In any case, if that is what one does assume, Erotic Nights of the Living Dead proves that one doth assume too much, for "Italy's first sexually explicit zombie film" is one damn boring film. Which doesn't mean that it doesn't have its appeal, it's just that the appeal it has is a bit like a major car accident: you might want to rubberneck, but do you really want to watch for over two whole hours? Regardless of how many dead bodies litter the street, it gets boring after awhile. That said, an accident of any kind probably makes more sense and has more coherence than this exercise in, well, cinematic, pornographic and horror ineptitude.
PG trailer to
Erotic Nights of the Living Dead:
Let's get the porn out of the way first. There is an palpable contractual division amidst the actors involved, in that it quickly becomes evident that Gemser, Eastman (nee Luigi Montefiori) and Playboy centerfold Dirce Funari (Italian issue, Aug 1978) had a "no-hardcore" clause, at least for the this film. In Funari's case, she was obviously willing to go further than either Gemser or Eastman (the latter never even manages to undo his belt or drop his trousers for his sex scenes), but true clinical detail is never shown in her scenes; even when she gives head or fingers herself, the scene is shot so you don't see anything. (The average 1970s "softcore"Great Uschi movie shows more.)
Not so with the fourth main character of the movie, played by some mustachioed guy named Mark Shannon, nee Manlio Cersosimo, who shows the full monty and even shoots a quick load in an early sex scene involving two hookers. The only truly memorable thing about his sex scenes, however, is that he has warts on his testicles. That alone says everything about how "hot" the obviously non-fluffed porn aspects of Erotic Nights of the Living Dead are. Indeed, when it comes to the explicit sex scenes, those of Erotic Nights of the Living Dead are so un-erotic, so high on the incompetently shot and framed and presented ick-level, that one could easily turn sex-negative — and that despite the fact that most of the lithesome, primarily A-cupped, heavily bushed women are actually very attractive. (Assuming D'amato did his own casting, the man was obviously a fan of A-cups.)
Erotic Nights of the Living Dead is definitely way too long for the slim story it proffers, though a more talented film-maker than D'amato, or at least someone with a bit more artistic drive or intention, might nevertheless have been able to make an interesting movie with the flick's bare bone(r)s. Some blame, of course, must also go to George Eastman, who may have gone on to become a talented and respected Italo-TV scriptwriter but displays absolutely no creative ambition in the script he provides here. The paucity of the movie isn't in any way improved by the insertion of a number of idiotic and/or extraneous scenes that do little to advance the plot but do pad the already excessive running time.
The opening and closing framing narration at a unisex insane asylum is a prime example of the unneeded. Here, we meet the obviously unhinged Larry O'Hara (Eastman) and the less-obviously unhinged Fiona (Funari), who easily sneak off to the basement to shag softcore with crazed abandonment. Whereupon, in flashback, we learn how the two came to be sex-crazed inhabitants of a loony bin. But therein, too, there is padding, sexual and zombie-wise.
For example, the first two zombie scenes of the movie: the first is of a local fisherman who is killed from behind (despite having one of the magic anti-zombie talismans that keep popping up throughout the film), and the second is of a disbelieving coroner who becomes lunch while preparing to dissect a "dead" body. Those scenes, while gory and perhaps funny enough, do nothing to advance the actual plot and have absolutely no real relevance to the rest of the movie. Once shown, they are never mentioned or referred to again, though particularly the death of the local coroner, one might think, would or should have some sort of narrative echo elsewhere in a traditionally plotted movie.
A few more padding scenes later — including those featuring warty testicles and a memorable "dance" scene in which a woman, definitely a compeer of sorts to Honeysuckle Divine, uncorks a Champaign bottle in a most creative manner — the actual narrative of Erotic Nights of the Living Dead finally kicks in. Ship captain O'Hara (Eastman, of way too many noteworthy films to include any here) gets hired by the visiting land developer John Wilson ("Mark Shannon", who supposedly began his career with an uncredited appearance in Stephen C. Apostolof's Motel Confidential [1969 / scene] and went on to such "classics" as Voodoo Baby [1980 / music], Porno Holocaust [1981 / music], and The Emperor Caligula: The Untold Story [1982 / trailer]) to take Wilson and his sexy receptacle Fiona (Dirce Funari of Escape from Women's Prison [1978 / trailer],  Midnight Blue [1979/ soundtrack], and Blue Movie (1978 / trailer]) — "I picked her up in a high-class gutter", Wilson tells O'Hara at one point — to the truly beautiful Cat Island, where the company Wilson works for plans to open a luxury resort. There, they run into what appear to be the only inhabitants of the "deserted" island, the beautiful Luna (Gemser) and her blind grandfather (an uncredited old man who was surely cast due to his facial tumor). Warning signs abound that the trio should skedaddle while they still can, but Gemser's bush and Wilson's capitalist greed keep them there until, well, it's too late and the zombies attack in an ungainly lumbering mass.
It is no spoiler to reveal that O'Hara and Fiona survive, as that is already revealed in the opening nuthouse scenes, but now they are cackling sex-obsessed crazies because, hell, that's what you become when you have sex with Gemser and survive a zombie attack on a tropical island.
For all the ineptitude displayed in Erotic Nights of the Living Dead, or perhaps because of it, the film does achieve a certain (if extremely low) level of watchability, especially since it does occasionally offer something to laugh and giggle or at least loudly snort at — including the consistently hilarious use of day-for-night shots, some amazing non-sequitur dialogue, and persistently incontiguous action. Unluckily, the few unintentional perks the flick might offer pretty much get lost in the movie's glacial pacing, which is so slow that by the time the see-it-coming-a-mile-a-way bite-the-dick-off scene transpires, the viewer is pretty much too anesthetized to care. And while some of the graphic softcore scenes do offer a level of humor or passable sleaze, the hardcore ones repulse: the movie would definitely be improved (though perhaps less memorable) by the removal of the warty-testicle scenes. (Which, we hear, one circulating version of the movie does.)
One might argue that Erotic Nights of the Living Dead does deliver what it promises, which is a mixture of porn and gore, but that is a bit like saying, dunno, that salami pizza is still an appreciatable salami pizza even if it doesn't go into the oven as long as it has dough, tomato sauce, cheese and salami. Is an uncooked pizza with all the promised or needed ingredients still a pizza worth eating?
A Schrödinger's cat question, perhaps, but while the predicate "good" is often subjective, there are nevertheless horror porn flicks out there that deliver their ingredients and remain both immensely watchable and "fun".  (Want a "fun" or "good" hardcore "horror" movie where the heavily haired sex scenes and the narrative work? Go for the surreally batshit Hardgore[1974] or the consciously culty  Thundercrack! [1975 / scene], neither of which have zombies but both of which never bore.) Erotic Nights of the Living Dead, on the other hand, is truly an example of a movie that contains what it promises but fails to succeed as porn or horror or porn horror, and thus delivers nothing that makes it worth watching.
 
Erotic Nights of the Living Dead is, basically, like an uncooked salami pizza... but it stinks like unwashed, warty testicles.

Short Film: The End (UK, 2013)

$
0
0
A short "zombie thriller" directed by Raj Pathak and Crash Taylor, based on a story by Pia Cook and Tina Smith. Cook went on to scribe a few independent feature films, like 2 Psychos (2016 / trailer).
WINNER - Best Horror,
Limelight Film Awards 2014 
WINNER - Best Actress,
British Horror Film Festival 2014 
WINNER - 1st Place,
MoviePoet.com 2014 online competition 
When on that rare occasion that the topic of "what if a zombie virus really broke out" raises its festering undead head, we are always surprised at the amount of people — regardless of weight, citification, lack of condition, diabetes, drug weaknesses, whatever — who see themselves as a Daryl (as in The Walking Dead) instead of a Barbara (as in Night of the Living Dead [1968 version]). 
This little zombie short, in any event, might not offer all that much new, but it still packs a punch. It is less a story than a snapshot of what transpires for two on-the-run survivors of a zombie apocalypse. And were a zombie apocalypse ever to truly happen, many a parental figure would probably be confronted with the same situation the mother in this short is. (And how would you decide?) She ain't no Daryl, she ain't no Barbara, she's just a normal mom named Tina (Shelley Draper) with a daughter named Sofie (Ava Nicholson) and a gun who, while on the run from zombies, takes refuge in a deserted farm. 
So, how could things get any worse? Go to YouTube and find out. 

Ánimas (Spain, 2018)

$
0
0
Based on José Ortuño's (Spanish language) novel of the same name, Ánimas is a flawed but highly intriguing Spanish art-horror filmthat seems to be a love-it-or-hate-it experience. Within the tapestry of the movie's often neon green and red color scheme and lighting, and the retro, grungy, neo-noir prop and stage design, a relatively slight but nevertheless intriguing narrative involving a limited cast of six main faces unfolds, a dreamy tale undulant of teenage angst, broken homes, abusive families, and unsaid and indistinct horrors that has more in common with surreally unsettling films like Jacob's Ladder (1990 / trailer) or  The Attic Expeditions (2001 / trailer) than the traditional run-of-the-mill, relatively conventional horror films that tend fill the market today.
Spanish trailer to
 Ánimas:
Ánimas opens by introducing us to Bram as a little boy, seeking refuge on the stairwell of a rundown apartment building from his abusive father, who has just broken the child's beloved yo-yo and is loudly releasing the rest of his rage on his wife (and Bram's mother) behind the closed apartment doors. It is here that Bram first meets the same-aged Alex, a neighboring little girl who teaches him the trick she uses to calm herself down in times of need — and thus the two form a friendship, one as tight as it is symbiotic, that obviously spans the years unbroken: we next see them again as late teens, on the cusp of adulthood, at school as Alex (Clare Durant of The Malevolent [2016 / trailer]) motivates Bram (Iván Pellicer) to muster his courage to approach the Asian classmate Anchi (Chacha Huang), with whom he soon forms a relationship.
Anchi, much like Bram's mother (Liz Lobato of The Birthday [2004 / trailer]) and his shrink, Karla Berger (Ángela Molina), expresses an antipathy against his platonic best friend, one that long remains baseless or incomprehensible to the viewer. Like Bram, Alex is seemingly nothing more than yet another troubled teen, admittedly one with a penchant for self-mutilation, but hardly a figure that could be viewed as automatically inviting dislike. And while Bram may have an abusive father (Luis Bermejo) to deal with, not to mention a distant and suicidal mother, Alex is faced by a threatening shadow and a dangerously bending reality, not to mention thorough desertion by her unseen mother, who literally moves out overnight taking everything with her.
Unluckily, just when it seems that Alex is in need of similar constructive support to that which she has give Bram over the years, he is in less and less need of (and has less time for) his former best friend.
Truly terrifying, Ánimas is not; and many of the scares are somewhat generic if not predictable. Even the final resolution is, to an extent, not all that unexpected to the truly observant. But visually, the film is a slow burn that is both fascinating and compelling, and it pushes at the boundaries of what is normally considered acceptable within a "realistic" horror film, be it the set design or the mood-inducing (and symbolic) lighting. And even if the narrative is a bit muddled, in retrospect one cannot help but realize that it is appropriate to the denouncement.
One might argue that Ánimas is, in the end, an exercise of style over substance, but the argument of whether one is better than the other is an argument that often raises its head within the arts, be it films or painting or literature, but has yet to be answered unequivocally. (If you like Van Gogh or Thomas Hart Benton, does that mean you aren't allowed to like Jeff Koons or Ai Weiwei? If you enjoy movies Last Year at Marienbad [1961 / trailer], are you not permitted to enjoy Guardians of the Galaxy [2014 / trailer]? Like Brazilian fish taco, no hairy cheese sausage?)
Any argument, whether pro or con, must, however, give credit to the filmmakers for at least trying to bend the rules of the very genre that they are obviously both well-informed about and respect. What's more, as light as its plotline might be, Ánimas obviouslydoes not view the viewer as unintelligent. That alone is a rarity in film, as is the movie's wonderfully immersive mise-en-scene.
Hardly nondescript, easy-to-accept cinematic fodder, the movie will best appeal to those who like their movies different. Imagine a lazy, no-budget Wes Anderson directing a Spanish-language horror thriller, and then you get a slight idea of what to expect. We recommend Ánimas, but we don't expect you to like it.
Viewing all 711 articles
Browse latest View live


Latest Images