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Misc. Film Fun: Music Video – Die Fantastischen Vier "Danke"

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If you're a native English speaker, you probably have never heard of the German "hip-hop" band Die Fantastischen Vier(in English: "The Fantastic Four"). Anything but gangsta, and seldom overly serious, these nice boys from Stuttgart — seated below — have been making German-language music for decades. They've remained a popular staple of the German music scene since their first hit over here, 1992's Die Da?!
Since then, they've had a number of pop-hop hits, always German-language songs, including (among our favorites): 1994's Tag am Meer("Day at the Seaside"), 1999's MfG(Greman abbreviation for "Mit freundlichen Grüßen", or "With Best Regards"), and 2007's Ichisichisichisich(grammatically incorrect in German as in English: "I is I is I is I") — all groovy songs with groovy videos.
But speaking of particularlygroovy videos, here's the video to their single from 2010, Danke ("Thanks"). It's a regular trash short film, redone as a blackly funny music video. Here, in Danke, the dead Fantastischen Vier end up on the tables of a coroner who's one of their biggest fans — and who takes advantage of the opportunity to fulfill his dreams. The plotline is familiar, but in the films we've seen the coroner (here: German actor Florian Lukas, found in movies as diverse as Der Eisbär [1998 / trailer], Planet der Kannibalen [2001 / scene], Good Bye Lenin! [2003 / trailer], Into the White [2012 / trailer] and Grand Budapest Hotel [2014 / trailer]) usually gets infatuation with the body of a dead female. And, yes, there is the obligatory Psycho (1960 / trailer) reference, too...
An entertaining music video... and you don't even really have to understand the lyrics to enjoy it for what it is: a perverse, short horror film.

R.I.P.: Harry H. Novak, Part IX: 1972

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12 January 1928 — 26 March 2014

"When I was a kid, my Daddy told me, 'There's a buyer for everything.' And I lived to find out that he was right."
Harry H. Novak

Harry H. Novak, alongside David F Friedman (24 December 1923 — 14 February 2011) one of the great (s)exploitation kings of the last half of the 20th century, died 26 March 2014 at the age of 86.
A detailed career review of all the projects Harry H. Novak foisted upon the American public would be Sisyphean task at best and hardly possible, as no full and unequivocal list exists. What follows is a review of the films that we found that, for the most part, probably had Novak's involved somewhere along the way — and some that may not have. It is definitely not a complete list, and definitely not infallible, it is merely culled from sources reliable and unreliable that we found online. We also in no way suggest that the given release dates are the correct ones, they are merely the first ones we found.
If you know any we missed, feel free to send the title...
 

Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II: 1956-64
Go here for Part III: 1965-66
Go here for Part IV: 1967
Go here for Part V: 1968
Go here for Part VI: 1969
Go here for Part VII: 1970
Go here for Part VIII: 1971



The Mad Butcher
(1972, dir. Guido Zurli [as John Zurli])

Trailer:
Aka Lo strangolatore di Vienna, Meat Is Meat, The Mad Butcher of Vienna, The Vienna Strangler, L'étrangleur de Vienne, The Strangler of Vienna and Der Würger kommt auf leisen Socken— the last if which would roughly translate into "The killer comes quietly in socks".
Somewhere along the way Novak, as Valiant International Pictures, picked up the distribution rights to this sleazy but fun piece of Eurotrash starring the great Victor Buono (3 February 1938 — 1 January 1982, of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? [1962 / trailer], The Evil [1978 / trailer], Arnold [1973 / trailer], The Strangler [1964 / trailer], Moonchild [1974 / full movie] and the Colonialist-minded Return to the Planet of the Apes [1970 / trailer]). The Mad Butcher was directed by the tendentially less interesting Italian director Guido Zurli (9 January 1929 — 23 October 2009), a man best remembered for this movie here, the fun Gordon Scott sandal film Goliath and the Vampires (1961), and the porno flick Gola profonda nera (1977 / opening credits), starring everyone's favorite transgendered Eurotrash film star Ajita Wilson (born George Wilson in Brooklyn in 1950, died in Italy on 26 May 1987 from injuries sustained in a car accident).
Trailer to
Guido Zurli's Goliath and the Vampires:
According to what Novak told Mondo Digital, he actually sank money into The Mad Butcher: "I put up some of the money to finish that one. It was originally called The Strangler of Vienna or The Butcher of Vienna. [...] I called it The Mad Butcher because the true story of the Butcher of Vienna involved a guy who killed people and ground them up. There was even a book that used the same name. [...] I changed the name to The Mad Butcher to sell it to the newspapers, because Vienna wouldn't mean much to them. All of my pictures played the drive-ins, including that one, but the biggest by far were the hillbilly ones." [As perhaps to be expected, Novak was shaky about the facts of the true story: Adolph Louis Luetgert (27 December 1845 — 7 July 1899) was born in Germany, not Austria, and his crime was committed in Chicago.]
In general, however, the credited producer of The Mad Butcher is Dick Randall, who is also credited in the movie as a co-scriptwriter. Dick Randall (born Irving Reuben, 3 March 1926 — 14 May 1996) is yet another overlooked and mostly forgotten exploitation producer with numerous noteworthy titles to his name, including Pieces (1982 / trailer), Lady Frankenstein (1971), Slaughter High (1986 / trailer), Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972 / trailer), The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971 / trailer), The French Sex Murders (1972 / French trailer), Don't Open Till Christmas (1984 / German trailer), Living Doll (1990 / see below), The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968 / full movie), The Girl in Room 2A (1974 / trailer), Death Dimension (1978 with Jim Kelly), For Your Height Only (1981 / trailer) and more, more, more. He and his wife, the singer singer Corliss Randall, sometimes appeared in his pictures or worked behind the scenes.
Trailer to
Living Doll (1990):
But to get back to The Mad Butcher, Critical Condition saw the movie: "Otto (Victor Buono), 'Vienna's greatest butcher', is released from the lunatic asylum after spending three years there for hitting a woman over the head with two pounds of raw liver. Declared cured, Otto returns to the butcher shop and his shrewish wife (Franca Polcelli), only to be horrified about how high the price of sausages have become. He immediately slashes the price and must find a way to come up with a cheaper cut of meat. After killing his nagging wife (what a bitch!) and having a difficult time disposing of her body, Otto finally solves his meat problem. Needless to say, his new sausages are a hit. So much in fact, that Otto must find new victims to keep up with the demand. Mike (Brad Harris of The Freakmaker [1974]), a Chicago reporter on assignment in Vienna, is working on a story about the disappearance of several women, all of who are Otto's new sausage meat. Mike falls in love with a woman (Karen Field of The Hunchback of Soho [1964 / see below] and Web of the Spider [1971 / credit sequence]) who happens to live next door to Otto's butcher shop. Mike grows suspicious of Otto and has the police search the butcher shop. They find nothing thanks to Otto's vat of sulphuric acid. Otto kidnaps Mike's girl-friend in retaliation. When her ring is found in one of the sausages served at the police commissary, Mike rushes over to the butcher shop and saves his love in the nick of time, knocking Otto into his sausage-grinding machine. As we witness the grinder spewing out Otto sausages, a superimposed message wishes us 'Buono Appetito'! This Italian horror/comedy is [...] short on gore (at least in this edited, letterboxed and slightly dupey 80 minute version) but high on the laugh scale. Some of the jokes are subtle, so you must watch and listen very carefully. (Don't watch the actors' lips, because it is badly dubbed.) The late, great character actor Victor Buono greatly enhances the proceedings here, adding the right amount of menace and parody to his role."
Trailer to
The Hunchback of Soho (1964):



Eighteen Carat Virgin
(1972, dir. Emilio Portici)

 
As "P. Arthur Murphy" Emilio Portici did more than one cheap and sleazy hardcore one-day (maybe two-day) wonders, often featuring Carol Connors — best remembered as the Nurse in Deep Throat (1972, starring Harry Reems) and as the mother of Thora Birch — and Marc Brock, the latter of whom is also found in this blatant but nevertheless softcore flick that we include here primarily because a few online sources give (unsubstantiated) credit to the involvement of Novak / Boxoffice.
Emilio Portici's Eighteen Carat Virgin is not to be confused with the 1968 Danish sex film (poster below) featuring Anne Grete Nissen as "a young high-school woman whose problem with frigidity is helped by her understanding physician" aka Without A Stitch Of Clothing and The Eighteen Carat Virgin.Portici's Eighteen Carat Virgin was written by the forgotten but noteworthy Joseph P. Mawra (aka José M. González-Prieto), who wrote and directed a number noteworthy exploiters, including Miss Leslie's Dolls (1973), Shanty Tramp (1967 / full movie), Murder in Mississippi (1965), Olga's Girls (1964 / trailer), White Slaves of Chinatown (1964 / music) and Olga's House of Shame (1964 / trailer).
Trailer to
Joseph P. Mawra's Chained Girls (1965):
One Sheet Wonder— we mean, One Sheet Index— has the one-sheet description of Eighteen Carat Virgin: "Life on the farm was never easy for Annie (Nicole Vadim), the young, innocent and lovely virgin. On top of the regular chores she had to submit to her step-father's sexual demands and ultimately be brutally raped by him. Desperate and dejected she took to the road, ending up penniless in Miami Beach. In the big city, luck finally caught up with Annie. By befriending two high-class call girls and their pimp, she became the mistress of a wealthy South American ex-dictator who showered her with all the world's goodies including a yacht and a chauffeured Rolls Royce. To add to her financial success Annie, now Nanette, in a matter of months reorganized the girls' operations with great business acumen. All three prospered substantially as each one's bank account grew fatter and fatter. Her business instinct did wonders and everyone seemed happy except when she neglected to pay her share to Uncle Sam. In the surprising end of this exciting story we see the ultimate proof that money is still everything. Annie is now back on the farm, working on the prison farm."
The only person who seems to have seen this "quality soft-core porn about prostitution" is lor (of New York, New York), who writes on imdb that he once caught the movie at a Cleveland drive-in in the 70s: "Emilio Portici [...] tried a whole lot harder, with good results. Instrumental to the film's success is star Nicole Vadim [...], a talented lookalike for Ally Sheedy. She plays Annie, a girl from Kentucky who's raped by her step-dad after he catches her humping with a neighbor boy. Despite this set-up, she's still a virgin (in the twisted logic of porn). [...] Story is told largely in flashback from the vantage point of her success a year later, from the back seat of her Rolls Royce. [...] Both the direction and Vadim's acting develop her transition from naive country girl to cynical dealmaker. [...] Film has many distinctive elements that set it apart from the run-of-the mill soft porn of its era. There's an original guitar-based music score that spurs on the action, and a guitar-playing balladeer who appears frequently on screen to sing new verses of the title song, ending appropriately with 'She's back on the farm, the prison farm'. Frequent full-frontal nudity by the cast, including tight close-ups of Vadim's vagina, give the fans what they paid for, though Portici clearly keeps it soft-core. [...] For most of its running time Virgin closely resembles a real movie. You can actually forget that it's just porn, something that's virtually impossible to do with most X films of its era."
Opening Credits to
Joseph P. Mawra's Shanty Tramp (1967):




While the Cat's Away
(1972, dir. Chuck Vincent)

Another film about which we have our doubts to what extent Novak was involved, but both My Duck Is Dead and a list at AV Maniacs claim he was involved, and who are we to disagree?
While the Cat's Away is an early softcore movie from Chuck Vincent, one of the pioneers of hardcore films. (Vincent directed his first show-it-all fuck flick, Lecher, starring future District Attorney for Cortland County, "Guy Thomas" [real name: Mark Suben], a year later as "Marc Ubell"). Vincent (6 September 1940 — 23 September 1991) made a number of Golden Age X-rated "classics", including Roommates (1981 / cut trailer) and Jack n' Jill (1979), was the executive producer of one of Harry Reems' last non-porn appearances, RSVP (1984 / trailer), and dabbled with mainstream with such films as Warrior Queen (1987) and Deranged (1987) and a gaggle of lame T&A jiggle comedies like Hollywood Hot Tubs (1984) and Wimps (1986 / full movie).
Japanese Trailer to
Vincent's Bad Blood (1989):
While the Cat's Away, like most of the movies of the unjustly overlooked filmmaker, has not been the focus of much attention. The only synopsis we could find online is at My Duck Is Dead, which surely swiped it from elsewhere but we know not where: "This Harry Novak release from noted sexploitation director Chuck Vincent is an inventive and amusing send-up of early seventies' sex mores, perfectly capturing the spirit of many men's publications of the day. Sales are down at Expose magazine ('All the Filth that's Fit to Print!') so the worried editor sends Lurch (J.M. Everett), a bumbling Clouseau-type undercover reporter, to document the sex life of the typical American housewife, something which ordinary readers will identify with. Chosen at random from the telephone book is Mrs. Jones (pretty Kathryn Ford) but, as Lurch soon discovers, she is anything but a typical American housewife... After failing to interest her husband in a little wake-up b.j., Mrs. Jones offers him a nude breakfast by cracking eggs over her pert breasts and shaking the orange juice between her supple thighs. From this moment on, While the Cat's Away becomes little more than a series of enjoyable vignettes, as we watch Mr. and Mrs. Jones go about their daily routines [...]. Mrs. Jones receives more than simple oral treatment from her local dentist ('You have a nasty little hole that I need to fill!'), while Mr. Jones has sex with some anonymous pick-up in the stairwell of his office building. The next stop for our little lady is the beauty parlor where she switches from AC to DC with the manicurist (Sonny Landham's ex-wife Marlene Willoughby of Voices of Desire [1972] and Dracula Exotica [1980 / a death]) while the old lady (Dulce Mann of The Defiance of Good [1975 / trailer]) next to her prattles on incessantly about the dreadful state of the world. While Mr. Jones seems to do nothing all day but have sex at the office, Mrs. Jones arrives home to find the mailman waiting at the front door and the milkman at the rear. A hot menage a trois results, with Mrs. Jones finding all sorts of creative ways to combine sex and housework. As the day progresses, she just gets busier and busier. [...]"
Excerpt from
Chuck Vincent's Voices of Desire (1972):




Wild Honey
(1972, writ & dir. Don Edmonds)


Probably not based on the Midwood erotic novel of the same name (see below) written by "Don Karl", whose fabulous cover illustration is by the sadly underappreciated artist Paul Rader.
Wild Honey is the directorial début of Don Edmonds (1 September 1937 — 30 May 2009), former and occasional actor (for example: Beach Ball [1965 / trailer] and Wild Wild Winter [1966]) who, after this film, still did an occasional acting job (Home Sweet Home [1981 / trailer], for example) but concentrated mostly on writing, producing and directing — including some true sleaze classics: Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975 / trailer) & Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976 / trailer). Other films we find of note that he touched: Skeeter (1993 / trailer, with Charles Napier), True Romance (1993 / trailer), Beyond Evil (1980 / trailer), Saddle Tramp Women (1972), Tender Loving Care (1973) and the Charles Napier vehicle, The Night Stalker (1987).
Jay & the Americans singing 
Two of a Kind from Wild, Wild, Winter:
Over at Shocking Images, they have a read-worthy interview of him in which he talks about Wild Honey: "I wrote a picture called Wild Honey, and that was the first film I ever directed. Something Weird has a tape of it. It's too bad, because I've seen their tape, and it's chopped up something terrible. The quality is fourth or fifth generation. I wish I could find the negative. Harry Novak has it, but he won't give it to me. He distributed the picture, and he won't even get on the phone with me. [...] It's badly chopped. [...] It was a normal length, ninety-minute movie. It did really well, actually, when we put it out. [...] Not hardcore, just the beginnings of naked stuff. In those days, just putting tits on the screen was a big deal. I wanted to be a little more flamboyant than that, but if you've ever seen Wild Honey, it's not a hardcore picture. It's a tits and ass film." (Including those of cult faves Bambi Allen and Uschi Digert.)
Online, we found a blurb from Mike Accomando's classic fanzine, Dreadful Pleasures: "Released by Harry Novak, Wild Honey is the tender tale of Gypsy (played by healthy-looking Donna Young of Edward D. Wood Jr.'s Take It Out in Trade [1970], Stephen C. Apostolof's Five Loose Women [1974] and Al Adamson's The Naughty Stewardesses [1975]). After almost being raped by Daddy, she runs away from the farm and winds up in La La Land. Soon she is partying with a squadron of hippies led by a space cadet named Astral (Allan Warnick, seen somewhere in Mother, Jugs & Speed [1976 / trailer]) and The Two Jakes [1990 / trailer]). 'What's your sign?' he actually asks. They zone out on LSD. The meat of this softcore movie concerns Gypsy's rise to stardom. She poses for stag photos and is genuinely treated like a doormat by everyone. Then she lucks out and meets a lesbian Madam who sets her up as a high-priced call girl. Money. Apartment. New car. Gypsy's hit the big time. But it's not enough. She is insatiable now..."
Trailer to 
The Naughty Stewardesses (1975):
Exploitation Retrospect is of the opinion that Wild Honey is a "Cinderella story gone horribly, horribly wrong": "A moral fable, disguised as a sexploitation roughie fashioned as a loose cautionary tale about why you shouldn't party with guys wearing black robes in the Hollywood hills, there is still enough here to make you ponder the true nature of morality, the decay of social mores; modern values and even to just blink and wonder 'what the hell' to yourself. [...] Wild Honey was trite, stupid and unrealistic but it did have varied thematic music for every setting and the flesh was excessive. I'll admit to one thing, this film was so damned random, switching between moral message and quasi-explicit action so frequently that I found myself not predicting what was going to happen next, something that hardly ever happens to me when I watch a film. Wild Honey was an aptly-named little flick that was sweet and sticky at first, but just when you start to enjoy its fleshy nectar it stings you at the end... does this look swollen to you?"



Tobacco Roody 
(1972, writ & dir Bethel Buckalew)
Yes, written and directed by the real Bethel Buckalew. Not to be confused with Tobacco Road (1941), poster below.
Rod's Pleasure Palace says: "This film isn't exactly XXX, but definitely delves into the realm of softcore, often referred to during this time period as 'sexploitation.' The feature film, Tobacco Roody, is the story of an aunt and uncle raising their two daughters and an orphaned niece on a back-roads farm (supposedly in the South but really in California). In overly predictable fashion, the uncle lusts for his niece, and the two sisters enjoy exploring each other down for the stream. Even the wife manages to keep herself busy with the sheriff and the tax collector. Keep in mind the camera shots never show any actual penetration, but there's still plenty of grinding to go around. Seeing what actresses Buckalew and Novak got to fill the parts makes me wonder how it is that Rocco was able to keep his pink piggy from view and flaccid for that matter. Truly the mark of a professional!"
Trailer to
 Tobacco Roody:
TCM adds the names of the characters: "Lulu (Wendy Winders) and Carolina (Gigi Perez), daughters of Mose Mason (Johnny Rocco), a Neeley's Bend, Tennessee, moonshiner, are jealous of their father's voluptuous niece, Tootie (Dixie Donovan). At the swimming creek, Lulu passes on to Carolina the sex education she received from Harry (Bethel Buckalew himself), a city slicker. When Tootie arrives, the sisters cover her with mud and send her home to be comforted by her uncle. The sheriff (Bruce Kimball, of Love Camp 7 [1967 / trailer] and Brain of Blood [1971 / see below]) halts Mose's moonshining activities, but Liz (Debbie Osborne), Mose's wife, tired of being ignored, shifts the intruder's attention to herself. The sisters continue their sex education game at home. Three farmers visit the farm and find a jug of Mose's homemade liquor. Judd Parker (Jack Richesin), the lascivious landlord, threatens to foreclose the mortgage until Liz sexually accommodates him. Tootie and her cousins fall asleep and are joined by the drunken farmers, and soon they are all making love. Danielle ('Maxine DeVille France' of Streets of Paris [1967]), a French damsel who speaks no English, passes by the farm and seeks directions of Mose, who seduces her in the barn. Liz returns just after Danielle's departure and finally agrees to try some mountain dew. Having found something to share at last, the happy couple enters the house to make love."
Trailer to
Brain of Blood (1971):
DVD Drive-In says: "The requisite cast of Novak studs and sluts is here [...]. And this is the only hillbilly sex flick Novak produced which doesn't feature scene-stealer John Tull as 'Junior'. This may be part of the reason why the film isn't that great. Sure, I know these are sex films, but the other entries in Novak's 'series' had humorous dialogue, intelligent camerawork, and much more memorable cast members (Rene Bond, Peggy Church, Sharon Kelly). Tobacco Roody has some choice dialogue, and the hose scene is sizzling, but for the most part it's passable filler. Let's move on."
 
In Germany, it hit the theatre's a Lust auf Heisse Lippen, which could sort of translate into Hot for Hot Lips.



Street of a Thousand Pleasures
(1972, dir. William Rotsler [as Clay McCord])

Aka Arab Slave Market and Dreams. Novak distributes another Rotsler film, this one co-written by "Sam Dakota", who seems never to have done anything else. This movie has the distinction of being mentioned in AMC Filmsite's History of Sex in Cinema: The Greatest and Most Influential Sexual Films and Scenes, where they write: "This was a notorious X-rated sexploitation (called a 'nudie cutie') film from the early 70s [...]. The film's subtitle was: 'There's something in it for everyone.' It also promised: 'A Journey through the Whispered World of Women.'
In the virtually plotless movie, American businessman/oil field geologist John Dalton (John Tull), during a trip to the Middle East away from his nagging wife in Los Angeles, rescued Arab sheik Abdul Ben Hassein from an assassination knife attack by shooting the assailant. He was rewarded with a trip to the spectacular 'street of a thousand pleasures,' where he was introduced to the slave market-harem filled with dozens of naked women functioning as sex servants. [Note: Some of the females included Uschi Digart, as 'Busty Slave Girl'; pin-up girl Michelle Angelo, as 'Busty Girl with Apple'; Joyce Mandel, as 'Busty Girl with Goblet', and many other un-credited beauties.] He viewed scores of feminine treats with 'Girl-A-Vision' (a hand-held camera presented his point of view from a hands-on perspective, often with enlarged close-ups of body parts). Bodies could be caressed or kissed, and eventually, John had brief sex with a few of the females, including a black belly dancer (Malta). The film ended with another strike by the Arab assassin, who killed the sheik (having sex) by stabbing him to death, while nearby, John was also having sex. After wrestling with the assassin, John left the Middle East and returned home with a willing American slave."
Flick Attack, which finds "the breast-to-penis ratio is something like, what, 4,200 to 3" says: "I have never seen more female nudity in a motion picture than the flesh on parade in Street of a Thousand Pleasures. Hell, I have never seen more female nudity anywhere — motion picture or otherwise. For that alone, you really don’t need to read further; just watch it."



The Loves of Cynthia
(1972, dir. Arnold Baxter)

 
Supposedly aka Cynthia's Sister, distributed by Novak. Written by Michael Hardy who, like director Baxter, seems never to have done anything again — at least, not under the same name: seeing that the film is Scandinavian, it seems likely that some of the Anglo-Saxonized names of those involved in Overklassens hemmelige sexglæder (the Danish title) are fake.
One name that isn't is Flanagan, aka Maureen Flanagan, the "early tabloid model" (above) who plays the title character. The photo below is taken from her website here; to quote her own CV, where she evidences a slight inability of spelling, prior to The Loves of Cynthia she "Played Staring Role As Raquel Welch Slave" in The Magic Christian (1969 / trailer), and also appeared in Groupie Girl (1970 / trailer), The Love Pill (1971) The Love Box (1972) Dracula AD 1972 (1972 / trailer below) and Stanley A. Long's Sex through the Ages (1974). She also wrote the best-selling non-fiction book, Intimate Secrets of an Escort Girl.
Trailer to
Dracula AD 1972 (1972):
Not many people seem to have seen the film; our semi-superficial search of the web came up with two websites, both of which had the same text, which was as follows: "Presented by that King of Sleaze Harry Novak comes this film about a woman (Flanagan) who leaves her film career in Rome (no longer wanted) and comes to stay with her sister who married a millionaire. While there she devises a plan for her brother-in-law's brother and servant to have sex with her sister after being drugged with an aphrodisiac in the hopes that her brother-in-law will divorce her sister and marry her."



Sweet Georgia
(1972, dir. Edward Boles)


Here at A Wasted Life, we really are amazed by the number of people, like Edward Boles here, who seems to have directed a single film for Harry Novak and then were never heard of again. A launching pad for future careers ala Roger Corman, Harry Novak was not — or, perhaps, pseudonyms simply ruled the day.
Naked Wimin & More in
Sweet Georgia:
Harry Novak produced and distributed this hixploitation flick described by the infamous Johnny Legend (of Bug Buster [1998]) as "corn porn" and about which Digitally Obsessed says: "This may have been Boles' only film (exploitation or otherwise), but it is truly a morals-busting doozy. Sex-crazed nymphomaniac and busty blonde Georgia (Marsha Jordan) may be married to the abusive, greasy, and violent Big T (Gene Drew), but naturally that doesn't stop her from bedding down with just about every other character in the film, including her free-spirited stepdaughter Virginia (Barbara Mills) and hunky farmhand Cal (Chuck Lawson, who resembles an odd cross between Neil Young and Jay Leno). The sex is frequent, long-lasting and almost unduly excessive, as if Boles and Novak didn't really have much else for the characters to do other than disrobe and go at it. The coupling between Georgia and Virginia, which occurs during a late night campfire, is about as close as Boles gets to high art here, and most of the sex is shot with strange closeups of bumping flesh. A subplot about a goldmine goes nowhere, but things pick up after a main character gets stomped by a horse and another gets a pitchfork rammed through his chest. The twangy guitar music is a bit grating, but Jordan and Mills are attractive women, and Novak has Boles fully utilize their natural talents."
The "twangy guitar music" is from Harold Hensley (3 July 1922 — 15 September 1988) and Hal Southern (1919 — 15 July 1998), two real down home boys who supplied the music a number of Novak hixploiters.
Not from the film —
Hal Southern sings I'm Gonna' Drink You out of My Mind:

DVD Drive-In tells us about eh babes of the movie: "Sweet Georgia was conceived as a star vehicle for Marsha Jordan, the middle-aged blonde bombshell who had been quite a box office draw in the mid-to-late 60s. [...] But like fellow big-breast superstar Uschi Digart, she held her own until the mid-70s when Marsha finally married well and fled to Las Vegas, where she has lived for the past 30 years. This is definitely not one of her better films for one major reason: the real treasure of the film is long-haired brunette Barbara Caron (Mills), a familiar face in 70s sexploitation and one of few starlets of the period who never graduated from softcore to hardcore. A sure sign of class! Barbara, a college student with an art major, appeared in over a dozen skinflicks between classes and in an interesting revelation, is still married to the same man who supported her during her acting career! She is an independent painter in the Venice [CA] art scene today and still looks gorgeous."
Not from the film —
Harold Hensley & the Virginia Mountaineers H and J Breakdown (1966):

DVD Verdict hates the film, saying "Sweet Georgia takes the standard potboiler story of a nymphomaniac wife burdened by a big fat sow of a husband and adds a lot of sweltering heat and deserted Nevada locales just to prove once and for all that, if you've seen one Harry Novak hillbilly sex farce, you've seen them all. Marsha Jordan, who's obviously someone's idea of a fetching female fornicator, flaunts her floppy flesh folds and crooks her incredibly pinched nose all throughout her turn in the title role. Looking at the DVD cover, you'd think Georgia was some hotsy totsy blonde with a randy rack and a come-hither stare that melts men's members. But as personified by the decidedly older Jordan, our Sweet star looks like the kind of over-the-hill barmaid you see begging for tips from long haul truckers. And since her choices of bed pals are a rather ripe lot (there's Cal, a salt and pepper haired skunk hunk; the retarded pasty-white stable man; and her really rotund hubby), she's always touching herself in a never-ending series of sex-starved tics."
Trailer:



The Pigkeeper's Daughter
(1972, Bethel Buckalew)


Another Novak-produced hixploiter directed by the yes-he-really-did-exist director Bethel Buckalew. At the moment, the full film can be found at this NSFW fuck film site.
Trailer to
The Pig Keeper's Daughter:
Movies about Girls says: "The Pig Keeper's Daughter takes a sliver-thin premise — the salesman and the farmer's daughter joke — and stretches it out to feature length with a seemingly endless series of dusty, farm-bound sex romps. Cheap, brainless, gleefully grimy, and littered with buoyant double-Ds, The Pig Keeper's Daughter was clearly influenced by Russ Meyer. In fact, if ol' Russ was a moonshine guzzling yokel with holes in his shoes and a two-dollar budget, this is exactly the movie he'd make. [...] If you are looking for anything resembling a sensible piece of filmmaking, than you should probably stay away from The Pig Keeper's Daughter. But if you really like looking at busty 70s chicks with full bush and no shame, then run-don't-walk to your nearest discount website/physical media dealer and snap this minor masterpiece of southern fried filth up. Senseless and sleazy, it strips softcore of all its erotic pretensions, and just lets it all hang out. Street-level sleaze hounds will love it."
Strange Things Are Happening doesn't like the movie: "The (thin) story of simple farm folk, it revolves mainly around a horny local yokel named Jasper (John Keith) who wants to get it on with young virgin Patty (Peggy Church, of Tom DeSimone's Prison Girls [1972]) but has to make do with the accommodating pig keeper's daughter of the title (Terry Gibson), a horny salesman (Peter James) and the efforts of the pig farmer (Bruce Kimball of Pink Angels [1972 / see below] and Drive In Massacre [1977 / trailer], the last as 'John Law') and his wife (a trimmed Gina Paluzzi) to find a man for their daughter. None of this is particularly developed, as the film lurches from clumsy sex scene to clumsy sex scene. [...] But on the whole, very little happens apart from generally unattractive people undressing and fumbling around unconvincingly. [...] The sex scenes drag on as long as those in any hardcore film, but of course they don't actually show anything and so feel a lot longer [...]."
Trailer to
Pink Angels (1972):
John Keith, who plays Jasper (and as an "actor" is aka Pat O'Connor, Trickey Nicky and John Keats) went on to publically exchange body fluids for real (as "Trickey Nicky") in one of the more entertaining Exorcist (1973) rip-offs, Dominic Bolla's only known movie, the X-rated Angel Above the Devil Below (1975 / audio to trailer). The un-credited busty "15-year-old hitch-hiker" is played by Margot Kennedy, (aka Tammy Smith, Tina Smith, Joi Fuller and Ruth Armstrong), who, like John Keith, disappeared after a short and un-impressive career in porn.



I Dismember Mama
(1972, dir. Paul Leder)

Distributed by Valiant International Pictures, and thus by Harry Novak — it was released as part of a famous double feature with The Blood Spattered Bride (1972 / poster below), featuring Alexandra Bastedo... actually, the question is, what is more famous, the double feature or it's entertaining trailer.
Trailer to the double feature:
Aka, supposedly, as Poor Albertand Little Annie and Crazed, but I Dismember Mama is the title everyone remembers. On its original release, audience members were given free "Upchuck Cups". Director Paul Leder (25 March 1926 — 9 April 1996), an under-appreciated auteur director and producer of low budget what-the-fucks like this flick here, The Wacky Adventures of Dr. Boris and Nurse Shirley (1995 / scenes cut together), Ape (1976 / see below), My Friends Need Killing (1976 / full movie) and Vultures (1987). Script was by William W. Norton (24 September 1925 — 1 October 2010), who also wrote Big Bad Mama (1974 / trailer), The Hunting Party (1971 / trailer) and William Girdler's classic Day of the Animals (1977 / trailer).
Trailer to
Ape (1976):
Few people seem to like I Dismember Mama, which DVD Drive-in calls "a pretty boring psycho flick that should stay forgotten." The only positive words we could find about the movie come from Groovy Doom, which says "I Dismember Mama is a low budget curiosity that is full of interesting photography, excellent performances by actors, and a memorably bizarre story. Although its cheapness shows through in almost every scene, it shows just as much art and inspiration as it does technical ineptitude and fragmented editing. If it hadn't featured such convincing performances by the leads, it never would have worked."
All Movie has the plot: "Originally released as Albert and Annie, this low-budget, poorly lighted, non-action, slasher film features Albert (Zooey Hall of the mostly forgotten scandal film Fortune in Men's Eyes [1971] and 99 and 44/100% Dead [1974 / trailer]) as a deranged youth locked up in a mental institution by his super-rich mother until one day he is stopped from watching soft-porn movies in his room, and, upset at this deprivation, he escapes and starts killing women. Albert first returns to his family mansion where he torments and kills the buxom housekeeper. When her nine-year-old daughter Annie (future "Fake Jan Brady" Geri Reischi, also of The Brotherhood of Satan [1971] and The Meat Puppet [2012 / trailer]) comes in from school, Albert sees her as a perfect, innocent female and is compelled to protect her at all costs — even if it means killing off her impure, older sisters. If his sexual urges take over at night, Albert goes out and kills other 'immoral' women — until the police, through a maddeningly unrealistic bureaucratic maze, track him to a warehouse of mannequins — and the chase is on, at least for awhile."
A Trailer to
The Brotherhood of Satan (1971):
At Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings, Dave Sindelar says that "this movie features one of the most ill-advised sequences in cinema history; after having established the killer as an arrogant, hateful psychotic who terrorizes, humiliates and finally murders his mother's servant, the movie then has the psycho fall in love with the servant's nine-year old daughter, a circumstance which eventually leads to one of those romantic montages of the psycho and the little girl having fun around the town while a song plays on the soundtrack. This looks for all the world like an honest-to-God attempt to garner sympathy and affection for the psycho; I found this sequence utterly reprehensible, and if there's any part of the movie where I would have been tempted to use the 'Up Chuck Cups' that were handed out to ticket-buyers, this is it. [...] The musical score (which is often totally inappropriate) does its damnedest to cover up the fact that the direction is dull and lifeless. Even gorehounds will be disappointed at the small amount of blood in this one. In the end, it's not horrifying or scary; just unpleasant and unaffecting."
In 1994, Leder made the equally inept but thrice as forgotten "thriller"Killing Obsession which, eventually, was sold as I Dismember Mama's "sequel"Killing Annie (1994).
Herschel Burke Gilbert's theme to
I Dismember Mama:




Toys Are Not for Children
(1972, writ. & dir. Stanley H. Brassloff)


One of the more intriguing titles that Novak distributed and co-produced (un-credited), Toys Are Not for Children (aka Virgin Dolls) was directed by Stanley H. Brassloff (23 July 1930 — 17 April 2003), the not-very-productive semi-sleazemonger who also wrote and directed Two Girls for a Madman (1968 / see below) and produced Charles Romine's Any Body... Any Way aka Behind Locked Doors (1968), the latter of which we looked at in Part V of this career review.
Trailer to
Two Girls for a Madman (1968):
A super-detailed plot description can be found here at TCM, but we'll do with the Cliff Notes version found at TV Guide: "A movie that tries to be deep-thinking but just ends up too depressing, this supposed study in psychology watches young Jamie Godard (Marcia Forbes) grow up to be a hooker and attempts to explain why. She has been controlled by her domineering mother (Fran Warren) since her whoremonger father (Peter Lightstone) deserted them when she was a child. The mother, who hates men, keeps telling the little girl her daddy liked the company of streetwalkers. The film gets weird for the sicko set when she turns to prostitution and has her clients call her 'baby' as she calls them 'daddy' to fulfill the roles she never had. As bad as that is, a hooker friend attempts to have a lesbian relationship with her, but she rejects the friend. For revenge, the woman sets up her to bed her own father. When her dad finds out he just romped with his own flesh and blood, he freaks, and the film's end comes mercifully with predictable results. Apparently the producers made up their minds not to try to fill in the picture with sexually explicit scenes and go for an 'X' rating, although that may have been their original intent. Actress Forbes was the wife of Cannon Films president Chris Dewey, who in a publicity release for the picture, claimed he wanted his wife to give up her acting career. He might well have persuaded her sooner."
Trailer to
 Toys Are Not for Children:
DVD Drive-In has a higher opinion of the film than the Bible of the Midwest: "Toys Are Not for Children makes The Candy Snatchers (1973 / see below) look like It's a Wonderful Life (1946 / trailer) in comparison. There is not one remotely likeable character in this whole film, everyone poor Jamie meets is either miserable, conniving, or oversexed and aching to get into her pants. By the end credits, you are advised to stay away from sharp objects or dangerous medications; you might be left wondering what the point of living is? The poster for this film leads one to believe it should be a skin flick, but nudity and sex is kept to a bare minimum (a few exposed breasts here and there). But even without a liberal dose of sex and violence, Children weaves its spell over the viewer almost effortlessly. This is a gripping, well-acted drama with an excellent script and accomplished directing and editing, not to mention a great theme song. Much like David F. Friedman's Johnny Firecloud (1975 / trailer), this is an underrated gem hiding behind an exploitative title and ad campaign.
Trailer to
The Candy Snatchers:
By the way, as IMDB points out: "Fran Warren, who plays the dramatic role of Edna Godard, was a major recording star in the 40s and 50s and her most famous recording was A Sunday Kind of Love. Her only previous feature film was Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd (1952 / trailer)."
Fran Warren sings A Sunday Kind of Love:


To be continued... next month.

Short Film: Hell's Bells (USA, 1929)

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Special thanks to the blogspot DW Rayger Dungeon for bringing our attention to this amazing and unbelievably overlooked slice of historic animated fun. 
Like Skeleton Dance (1929), which we presented four years ago as our Short Film of the Month for March 2010, Hell's Bells is a Walt Disney-produced animated short from the days when animated shorts weren't made just for pre-peachfuzz kiddies.
Skeleton Dance was the first of 75 Silly Symphony shorts produced by Disney between 1929 and 1939; Hell's Bells was the fourth. The series went on to win the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film seven times, including the first six years in which the award was even presented, but in our opinion few of the later Symphonies were ever as daring and different as the early, primitive ones such as this one, despite the almost predictable template the early ones all shared. (Close ups, frontal group dance scene, solo dance, chase, sight gags in passing, etc. — watch three or four and you'll see it.)
Whereas Skeleton Dance was supposedly directed by Disney and drawn by Ub Iwerks, for Hell's Bells Disney sat back and let Iwerks direct and draw (though he only gets credit for the latter). The music used includes Charles Gounod's Funeral March of a Marionette (best known today as the theme tune to the classic TV show Alfred Hitchcock Presents) and Edvard Grieg's fabulous In the Hall of the Mountain King.
The plot of the 5:32 minutes of animated fun, as explained at The Disney Wikia: "Satan and the demons gather for a wild party. After the demons play music, Satan has them 'milk' burning flames out of a dragon cow and he drinks them. He then feeds one of his little demons to his three-headed hound Cerberus. The other one runs away and eventually kicks Satan off a cliff where he is consumed by flames." 
Hell's Bells is an unjustly overlooked short, amazingly unknown for a short as strange as it is. The animation is excellent, the visual gags funny and often truly surreal, and the film on the whole is on another planet. (Our favorite interlude is probably the Cubist dancing demon.) We only wish we could one day see this thing as it was intended: on the big screen.
Why a short like this is as unknown as it is, is a mystery to us — but to do our two cents' worth to change that situation, we're presentingthis short animated masterpiece as our Short Film of the Month for October 2014. We know you will enjoy it!

The Phantom (USA, 1996)

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Simon Wincer has the honor of having directed more films we dislike than like. Indeed, he possibly deserves the death penalty alone for Free Willy (1993) — which might have been a good film had it been about a flasher, as its title suggests, instead of a friendly killer whale — and Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001), but every now and then (super rarely, actually) he manages to toss out a movie we like. Quigley Down Under (1990 / trailer), for example, which, while not the best Western made in the last decade of the 20th century, is the   best Australian-set Westerns made in the last decade of the 20th century. (It tells an involving story and also features some satisfactory acting by hunkadelic Tom Selleck [the Good Guy] and better acting by Alan Rickmann [the Bad Guy]). Wincer's first two films, the Aussie horror flicks Snapshot (1979 / trailer) and Harlequin (1980 / trailer), aren't too bad, either, in a low budget kind of way. We'd long written Wincer off as a director, however, when, one night with no other DVD at hand, we watched this engaging little gem, an adventurous, fast moving, entertainingly escapist and lightly campy presentation of Lee Falk's legendary newspaper comic character The Phantom. (Well, so "little" the film isn't actually, seeing that it had a budget of $45 million, which was a lot in 1996.) 
Falk, who also created the character Mandrake the Magician, died in New York City on 13 March 1999 at 88 years of age. He first brought the Phantom out in 1936, and by the early 1940s the Phantom was also on the screen as a cliffhanger — you can watch the full 15-chapter serial here at the Internet Archives— but the character's popularity slowly dispersed during the years that followed. By the time this film here was made, most of the audience the movie was intended for had probably never even heard of the character. Yes, The Phantom is definitely a children's film, much more so than some of the other comic adaptations of the last decade of the 20th century, such as Tim Burton's watchable Batman (1989 / trailer) and excellent Batman Returns (1992 / trailer) or Russell Mulcahy's flawed but nevertheless watchable interpretation of The Shadow (1994 / trailer). Lacking blood, guts, naked flesh or even realistic carnage, the meanest violence in The Phantom takes place off screen, and the little which is shown is fit for Sunday school consumption. Despite this, the film can be enjoyed by all who are able to look past the Phantom's purple outfit.
Scriptwriter Jeffrey Boam lightly mined his 1989 script for Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom (1984 / trailer) when he wrote The Phantom, dumping the "ick-factor" of monkey-brain dinners and beating hearts pulled live from the chest and adding enough "new" aspects — in turn taken from the early Falk stories The Singh Brotherhood, The Sky Band and The Belt— to the narrative to keep the story fresh. Like Falk's original comic, the film takes place in the 1930s — and thanks to some excellent production values, convincingly so. A buffed-out Billy Zane, still with hair and as normal wearing way too much eyeliner, stars as the Phantom (and his alter ego, Kit Walker), the 21st successor to the purple suit, still living deep in the jungles of Bengali. The Phantom is pitted against Xander Drax (Treat Williams of Venomous [2002]), a suave megalomaniac multimillionaire out to rule the world through the procurement of three magical skulls which, when combined, supply their owner with unlimited power. Drax's two main assistants in his quest are Quill (James Remar), who just happens to be the man who killed the 20th Phantom, and Sala (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a sort of early incarnation of Pussy Galore, who eventually kidnap Diana Palmer (Kristy Swanson), the former college love interest of Kit and daughter of a newspaper publisher out to expose Drax's evil shenanigans. Eventually everyone ends up on some uncharted island in the Devil's Triangle for the big showdown in the midst of the evil Singh Brotherhood, the traditional sworn enemies of the Phantom...
Sounds like a mixed salad, but onscreen it comes across as a rather straight-forward, uncomplicated but properly comic-book-like plot, and the film manages to get a lot of mileage out of it. And if some of the stunts are not staged all that well, they are at least convincing enough for the average child, while David Burr's cinematography of the film's breathtaking scenery is true eye candy. Zane does a more than adequate job as the Phantom, while Treat Williams basically steals most scenes he's in with his dry campiness. Williams shares some of the film's best lines with Zeta-Jones. As in all her films then and since, her beauty exceeds her acting talent, but she fits her flying outfit well enough and doesn't embarrass herself — though she does fail to make her sudden conversion into a good gal at the film's end seem in any way plausible. James Remar (who must be truly desperate if he takes on roles in films like Persecuted [2014 / trailer]) does another one of his typically excellent characterization jobs, but Kristy Swanson (of Highway to Hell [1992]), looking almost like a fuller-figured Juliette Lewis, proves once and for all that the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1991 / trailer) was an exception and Wes Craven's 2nd worst film of all time, Deadly Friend (1986 / trailer), was not.
The Phantom is in no way a masterpiece and hides no intellectual subtext, and is actually rather easy to tear apart if one wanted to. But everyone involved seems to be having such a grand time, and so much loving care and detail has been put into the characterizations, production values, score and cinematography that to view this film with a typically jaded eye seems to do it injustice. So what if it's a kiddy film, so what if it isn't perfect — it is, in the end, a truly entertaining piece of fluff, and never tries to claim that it is anything else.
If you don't want to see The Phantom, rent it for your kids. They'll love it — and who knows, maybe you might too. 

R.I.P.: Joachim "Blacky" Fuchsberger, Part II (1961-65)

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11 March 1927 — 11 September 2014
 
The German-Australian actor seen in numerous fun Edgar Wallace movies and krimis and more. He always got the girl. In the English-speaking world, he was sometimes credited as Akim Berg or Berger. Here is a meandering, train-of-thought look at some of his films and whatever caught our attention while dong the research...

Go here for Part I (1953-60).



Die toten Augen von London
(1961, dir. Alfred Vohrer [29 Dec 1914 — 3 Feb 1986])

English Trailer:
When this movie came out, it quickly became the most successful of all Wallace films to that date. Aka The Dead Eyes of London, the movie, the fifth in the Rialto Wallace series, is Fuchsberger's third Wallace movie; it is also the one-armed director Alfred Vohrer's first Wallace movie (he did a total of 13) and first job with Fuchsberger — and what can we say other than we think this film the bee's knees! We've seen it, and actually have a review on the backburner that one day, some day, we'll put on A Wasted Life. But for now, let's just say: it's a fun fucking film.
The second film version of Wallace's 1924 novel The Dark Eyes of London, the previous version of which, entitled The Human Monster (1939 / trailer) in the USA, even stars the great (?) Bela Lugosi and an undeservedly long-forgotten Norwegian-born British blonde named Greta Gynt (of Bluebeard's Ten Honeymoons [1960 / opening credits]) in her only known horror film. The great Jess Franco made his own unofficial and extremely loose and naturally uncredited adaptation of the book in 1962, The Awful Dr. Orlof (trailer).
Full Movie —
The Human Monster (1939):
DVD Drive-In, which inexplicitly calls the movie "a mildly entertaining crime thriller with splashes of horror thrown in to awaken the more easily bored members of the audience", supplies the basic plot: "A crotchety old man walking the foggy streets of London is viciously attacked and killed by a giant bald brute (Ady Berber) with white eyes and a blind stare. The attack is just one in a series of unexplained murders committed all over the city, all rich old men, all foreigners, and all with hefty life insurance policies. The police investigate into a shady church populated by a dozen blind beggars and overseen by a questionable reverend. Could these blind men be the culprits of the sadistic butcherings?"
Fuchsberger gets the men, and gets the girl.
German Trailer:




Das Geheimnis der gelben Narzissen
(1961, dir. Ákos Ráthonyi [as Akos von Rathony])
Fuchsberger went straight from The Dead Eyes of London to this, the German version of Edgar Wallace's 1920 novel The Daffodil Mystery. It is the first and luckily only Wallace movie directed by the somnambulant, Budapest-born director Ákos Ráthonyi (26 March 1908 — 6 January 1969). Two years later, in 1964, Rathony made his most interesting if nevertheless incompetent movie Blutrausch der Vampire aka Der Fluch der grünen Augen aka Die Grotte der lebenden Toten aka Night of the Vampires aka The Cave of the Living Dead, and died a year after his last, a typically unfunny German sex comedy, Zieh dich aus, Puppe (1968).
The Full Movie —
Cave of the Living Dead:
Like The Dead Eyes of London, we have seen this movie and have a review on the backburner for future publication. For now, however, we'll just preview the first paragraph: "Producer Horst Wendlandt made this film as a joint production with the British production firm Omnia in London. As a result, aside from the extraordinary amount of exterior scenes for a Wallace film (which usually tend to be studio bound), two versions of the movie were filmed simultaneously, one in English and the other in German. Although both versions utilized the same crew and most of the same secondary and background actors, the lead roles were filled by different actors, depending on the language. In the English-language version, entitled The Devil's Daffodil, William Lucas (of Tower of Evil [1972 / trailer, starring Jill Haworth] and Shadow of the Cat [1961 / full movie]) starred as Jack Tarling instead of Joachim Fuchsburger, Penelope Horner (of Inferno 2000 [1977 / trailer] and Dracula [1974 / trailer]) was Anne Rider instead of Sabine Sesselman and, unbelievably enough, Klaus Kinski was replaced by Colin Jeavons (of Frankenstein Created Woman [1967 / trailer] and Schizo [1976 / movie]) as Peter Keene. In truth, however, no matter which version of the movie one sees, Akos Ràthonyi's unbelievably lifeless direction remains the same. Thus, of course, the final cinematic experience also remains the same: Das Geheimnis der gelben Narzissen is a dull sleeping pill, a snoozer that in no way requires re-evaluation, rediscovery or even your attention when nothing else is on the tube." (Didn't stop the movie from being a hit when it was released, however.)
To use the simple plot description found at Fantastic Movie Musings & Ramblings: "Scotland Yard enlists the help of a Chinese detective (Christopher Lee [!]) in solving a case of drug smugglers who hide their goods in the stems of daffodils, and to find the identity of a killer associated with the smuggling."
German Trailer:



Die seltsame Gräfin
(1961, dir. Josef von Báky)

German Trailer:
Aka The Strange Countess, and based on the Wallace 1925 novel The Strange Countess. From The Daffodil Mystery, Fuchsberger went straight to this, one of the supposed best of all the best German Wallace movies. We have yet to see it.
It was the last movie project of director Josef von Báky (23 March 1902 — 28 July 1966), who won the Mussolini Cup for Annelie (1941 / some music) at the 1941 Venice Film Festival. He is perhaps best remembered for the classic German movie, ordered to be produced by Joseph Goebbels and starring Hans Albers, Münchhausen (1943 / full movie). Although un-credited, German director Jürgen Roland (of 4 Schlüssel [1966] and Der rote Kreis [1960]) was pulled in to finish the movie after Báky fell ill.
English Trailer:
To loosely translate the plot as given at Remember It for Later: "On the very day that Margaret Lois Reedle (Brigitte Grothum of Wolfgang Schleif's psycho-thriller Der rote Rausch* [1962 / German trailer]) quits her job at the offices of the lawyer Shaddle (Fritz Rasp) for a position as the personal secretary of Countess Moron (Lil Dagover [30 Sept 1887 — 23 Jan 1980]), a mysterious (Klaus Kinski) first begins harassing her over the phone and then begins following up on his murderous threats. Only through the help of a stranger, Mike Dorn (Joachim Fuchsberger), does Margaret stay alive. A little later she learns to her horror that her mother was only her adoptive mother: her real mother is the convicted murderer Mary Pinder (Marianne Hoppe of Ten Little Indians [1965 / trailer]), who is due to be released from prison soon...."
* Sold as a Wallace thriller, but it ain't.
Both Marianne Hoppe (26 April 1909 — 23 Oct 2002) and Lil Dagover (born Marie Antonia Siegelinde Martha Seubert), of course, were former ("apolitical") NS movie star elite who enjoyed an occasional invitation to dinner at The Fuhrer's. Lil Dagover starred is some early German silent films and masterpieces, including Fritz Lang's Harakiri (1919 / full movie) and Der Müde Tod aka Destiny (1921 / movie), Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920 / see below), and F.W. Murnau's Phantom (1922 / movie) and Tartüff (1925 / movie). She appeared in only one English-language production, Michael Curtiz's The Woman from Monte Carlo (1932).
Full Movie —
Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari:



Der Teppich des Grauens
(1962, dir. Harald Reinl)
The influence of the success of the Rialto Edgar Wallace series could be noticeable felt mere months after the first two (Der Frosch mit der Maske [1959] and Der rote Kreis [1960]) pulled the people into the cinemas, and before long the film production houses of Europe were regurgitating their own krimis and wannabe Wallaces using, among others, the novels of Edgar Wallace's own son, Brian Edgar Wallace.
Among other sources mined were also the books of the now-forgotten but at the time still-in-print crime novelist named Louis Weinert-Wilton (11 May 1875 — 4 Sept 1945), who himself was in his day a bit of a Wallace wannabe. Born Alois Weinert, the exact number of crime novels he wrote is open to discussion, but 11 are known; he died in a Czechoslovakian POW camp shortly before the war ended, so he never got to enjoy seeing the film "series" that resulted from his work — and a "series" (quote/unquote) it was, indeed, as most of the four movies based on his novels (this one,Das Geheimnis der schwarzen Witwe [1963 / trailer], Die weiße Spinne [1963 / looked at later] and Das Geheimnis der chinesischen Nelke [1964 / trailer]) were made by different studios. All however, shared stars and directors from the Wallace films, both Edgar's and Brian's. Here, for example, there are Fuchsberger, Karin Dor and director Harald Reinl — and two other Rialto Wallace regulars, Werner Peters and Carl Lange.
A more stupid title can perhaps not be found: The Carpet of Horror, a title perhaps not outdone until the infamous Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977 / see below). But unlike that movie, this one here is not a horror movie but a crime thriller. And the German-language website Remember It for Later has the plot, which we very loosely translate as: "The Carpet of Horror tells of a mysterious series of murders: a variety of people fall victim to a deadly poison gas, which is released by the disintegration of small, harmless-looking balls. These balls are particularly potent when they land on precious carpets, which is the truly idiotic reason behind already stupid title. The secret service agent Raffold (Joachim Fuchsberger) as well as Ann Learner (Karin Dor), niece of one of the victims, are out to find out who's behind the murders, which involve a criminal organization led by an unknown biggie..."
The Full Movie —
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977):
Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings says: The carpet is largely incidental [...]. Nonetheless, it's a fun if somewhat confusing movie. You get quite a few characters thrown at you and you spend most of the plot trying to figure out who they are; are they good guys? Bad guys? Incidental characters? And who is the leader of the organization? Actually, the last one was fairly easy to figure out." 
Interesting aspects to Der Teppich des Grauens include the facts that Raffold (Fuchsberger) is given a Black sidekick (Pierre Besari of Vengeance of the Zombies [1973 / trailer]) who — a rarity for the day, especially in Germany — is not a joke figure but a competent assistant, and that the movie was co-written by Eugenio "Gene" Martin, director of the classic Horror Express (1972) and the far less well-known Wallace wanna-be, Hipnosis (1962).
The Full Movie —
Horror Express (1972):




 Das Gasthaus an der Themse
(1962, dir. Alfred Vohrer)

Trailer:
Shown on TV in the US as The Inn on the River. Oops — another movie for which we have a review on our back burner. Alfred Vohrer's third Edgar Wallace movie is another one of the better ones. Sure it's cheesy at times, and maybe it could've used a little less humor and, yes, Vohrer could've made it much darker and much better — this movie is far more a crime film than a horror film — but for all its faults it is continually entertaining and enjoyable. We doubt that there is a single Wallace film featuring the grand dame of the series, Elisabeth Flickenschildt (16 March 1905 — 26 Oct 1977), a former member of the NSDAP, that is a total loser of a movie. Klaus Kinski, the accused child molester, is also on hand of course, and there's a twist to his character that you really don't expect. And the great Martin Böttcher does the soundtrack, his second time for a Wallace film. And Sir John (Siegfried Schürenberg [12 Jan 1900 — 31 Aug 1993]) makes his second of 13 appearances as well. And Fuchsberger plays good guy Insp. Wade, who gets the bad guy and the girl...
Das Gasthaus an der Themse is considered (by ticket sales) the most successful of all Wallace movies.
From the Movie —
Elisabeth Flickenschild sings Was in der Welt passiert:
The movie is based on Wallace's book The Indian Rubber Men, which had already been filmed in 1938 by Maurice Elvey as The Return of the Frog and sold as a sequel to the 1937 film The Frog, which, the astute among you might rightly conjecture, was an earlier version of The Fellowship of the Frog (1959). This version of the book, made as Das Gasthaus an der Themse, is a stand alone movie and has nothing to do with the 1959 flick starring Fuchsberger.
To loosely translate the plot description at Das Filmlexicon: "A harmless whiskey smuggler is found dead on his boat, killed with a harpoon — the hallmark of the mysterious bad guy 'The Shark'! Scotland Yard faces a mystery. The Shark has been spreading fear and terror in the criminal underworld for a long time already, but he always escapes through the sewers of London. Inspector Wade (Joachim Fuchsberger) finally has a promising lead: the 'Mekka', an ominous port-side pub not far from the scene of the crime. The owner Mrs. Nelly Oaks (Elisabeth Flickenschildt) and her beautiful foster daughter Leila Smith (Brigitte Grothum) supposedly noticed nothing of the murder, but seem to know more. The situation comes to a head when Wade gets an unexpected visit in his office: he can't believe his eyes when the door opens — and the Shark is standing in front of him ... The film was shot completely in black and white; only the texts of the opening and closing credits are colored. Also, it is the first film that opens with the famous spoken phrase 'Hello! Edgar Wallace speaking'."
Not From the Movie (Per Se) —
Tanja Berg sings Besonders in der Nacht:




Der Fluch der gelben Schlange
(1963, dir. Franz Josef Gottlieb)

German Trailer to
Der Fluch der gelben Schlange:
Aka The Curse of the Yellow Snake, it is based on the Wallace novel The Yellow Snake which, no,is not a horror novel about a coolie's killer dick with a life of its own. For a plotline like that — just without the coolie — you need to watch either Pervert! (2005 / trailer) or One-Eyed Monster (2008 / trailer).
Der Fluch der gelben Schlange, the 13th of the German Wallace series, was the first of three Wallace films Franz Josef Gottlieb (1 Nov 1930 — 23 July 2006) was to make, none of which qualify as the best of the series, though his second, Der schwarze Abt aka The Black Abbot, also from 1963, is far more successful than this racist-tinged, imitation Fu Man Chu adventure movie. Like the interesting but badly flawed and racist Kurt Ulrich-produced Wallace film Die Racher aka The Avenger (1960 / German trailer), Der Fluch der gelben Schlange is not a Rialto production; here, Artur Brauner's production company CCC-Film was behind the film (his only other Wallace production is Jess Franco's Der Teufel kam aus Akasava (1971 / trailer). Due to the legalities of the agreement with the distribution firm Constantine Films, which also distributed the Rialto Wallaces, The Curse of the Yellow Snake even opens with the famous "Hier spricht Edgar Wallace" opening intonation.
Film Affinity has a succinct one-line plot description: "A Chinese cult bent on taking over the world uses an idol called The Golden Reptile that they believe can give them the power to achieve their goal."
Scene from
Der Fluch der gelben Schlange:
One of the most mundanely middle-of-the-road TV guides of Germany, TV Spielfilm, finds the movie stupid: "Intellectual flights of fancy could never be expected from the Edgar Wallace films, but they were usually charming in an old-fashioned way due to their harmless chiller appeal. In this case, however, not only the far-fetched plot is annoying, but also the clearly racist allusions in the dialogues and roles: the Chinese are evil, submissive and dying to kill, while the whites all 'good guys'."
This doesn't seem to bother the New York Times, however: "Curse of the Yellow Snake is a rip-roaring entry in Germany's series of low-budget films based on the works of Edgar Wallace. This time the filmmakers have borrowed a page from 'Fu Manchu' creator Sax Rohmer, spinning a yarn about an Oriental cult's revolt against the white race. The names in the cast list are decidedly Teutonic, indicating that the 'Orientals' seen throughout are literally skin-deep. [...] Curse of the Yellow Snake establishes mood and tension early on, seldom letting up throughout its 98 minutes (much longer than usual for a Wallace film)."
Director Franz Josef Gottlieb, by the way, was later a highly productive director of German soft-core sex films and comedies and other German trash before finally disappearing into TV-land. We looked briefly at two of his later films — Hurra, die Schwedinnen sind da / Hurray, The Swedish Girls Have Arrived (1979 / full film in German with Russian narration) and Lady Dracula (1977 / German trailer) — in our R.I.P. Career Review of Heinz Reincke. Other Gottlieb films of note include the Bryan Edgar Wallace krimisDas Phantom von Soho (1964, with Elisabeth Flickenschildt / German trailer) and Das siebente Opfer (1964 / scene), the Wallace film Die Gruft mit dem Rätselschloß (1964 / German trailer), the Louis Weinert-Wilton krimi Das Geheimnis der schwarzen Witwe (1963 / German trailer), and [*snore*] the "documentary"Das Wunder der Liebe aka The Mystery of Love (1968).
 
German Trailer to
Das Wunder der Liebe aka The Mystery of Love (1968):




Mystery Submarine
(1963, dir. C.M. Pennington-Richards)
Not to be confused with the Douglas Sirk film, Mystery Submarine (1954), poster below. Aka Decoy aka Die letzte Fahrt von U 153 and/or U 153 antwortet nicht. Suddenly, amidst all the lead to secondary lead roles in the plethora of krimis, Fuchberger takes a minor role as the German Cmdr. Scheffler in an inconsequential English war movie directed by the inconsequential C.M. Pennington-Richards (17 Dec 1911 — 2 Jan 2005). The movie is not on our list of must-sees.
Over at Answers.com, Eleanor Mannikka says: "This routine wartime drama is set at sea and involves a British convoy trying to elude a group of German U-Boats. After one of the U-Boats is singled out and captured, the British admiral (James Robertson Justice of Histoires extraordinaires [1968 / trailer] and Zeta One [1969 / trailer]) in charge of the current operation hits upon an ingenious but almost suicidal way of defeating the Nazi boats. He orders Lt. Commander Tarlton (Edward Judd of Island of Terror [1966 / trailer], X: The Unknown [1956 / trailer] and The Vault of Horror [1973 / trailer below]) and a group of men to get in the captured U-Boat and then join the other U-Boats as though they had simply wandered off course for awhile. If done quickly and efficiently, Tarlton should be able to radio back the position of the enemy for a fast British offensive. Not an easy task in itself, and made much worse considering that the RAF and other British ships are going to consider the decoy U-Boat to be the enemy."
Brit Movie says that "a potentially interesting scenario becomes a routine wartime naval drama under the limp direction of C.M. Pennington-Richards. Based on the play by Jon Manchip White, and using actual archive wartime footage, Mystery Submarine boasts a sturdy ensemble cast but it can't be escaped that the film appears absurdly out of time. [...]"
Trailer to
The Vault of Horror:




Die weiße Spinne
(1963, dir. Harald Reinl)

Scene from
Die weiße Spinne:
Aka The White Spider. Joachim Fuchsberger, Karin Dor and Harald Reinl together again for another Louis Weinert-Wilton adaptation; we've seen it and love it — it is one of the best non-Wallace Wallaces around. Click on the German title above to read our review of the movie.
 
The blogspot Hallo, hier spricht... has the following plot synopsis: "When her husband, a gambler, is found killed in a car crash with a white spider as a key ring in his possession (his talisman but also the symbol for one of London's most notorious contract killer gangs) the insurance company refuses to pay for his life insurance and his wife (Karin Dor) is forced to work for her living in a reform society for convicts where she meets Ralph Hubbard (Joachim Fuchsberger) who was recently released from Dartmoor. Scotland Yard strongly suspects the wife of being involved in the killing but also needs to take drastic measures when one leading policeman is found dead as well. They bring in a mysterious Australian crime fighter who prefers to hang on to his anonymity and conducts his interviews hidden from view by a couple of beaming lights. One-eyed men, strange Indians and oh-so altruistic priests all stand in the way of solving the mystery behind the killings that shock London."
Full Movie at
the Internet Archives:




Der schwarze Abt
(1963, dir. Franz Josef Gottlieb)
 
German Trailer to
Der schwarze Abt:
Based on the Wallace novel of the same name, The Black Abbot, which had already been filmed in Britain in 1934 by the forgotten director George A. Cooper (he also made the 1933 version of The Shadow [full film]). This, Franz Josef Gottlieb's second Wallace film — the 13th of the series — is perhaps his best, which also means that there are many better ones out there. Still, we saw it long ago and liked it — we always like the more gothic-looking Wallace films — but simply never got around to writing about it. Among the regular faces to appear in Der schwarze Abt, it is the seventh Wallace for both Joachim Fuchsberger and the child molester Klaus Kinski, and the twelth for Eddi Arent.
To loosely translate the German text at New Video: "The ghostly old ruins of Fossaway Abbey loom in the dark of the night. A sinister figure in a black robe, the hood pulled low over his head, disappears silently into the archway of the building. Silently the masked shadow follows a man — and the next day the dead body of hunting manager (Kurd Pieritz) is found in the old abbey. Detective Puddler (Charles Régnier) and his assistant Horatio W. Smith (Eddi Arent) take up lodgings in the nearby castle of the intransparent Lord Harry Chelford (Dieter Borsche of The Brain [1962 / trailer]), whose claims that the killer is an old ghost, the so-called 'Black Abbot', falls upon deaf ears. Detective Puddler believes that the fabled treasure of the Abbey is the true reason behind the murder..."
More deaths follow, of course. Fuchsberger plays Dick Alford, Lord Chelford's cousin and rival for the attentions of the film's lead female, Leslie Gine (Grit Boettcher of Der Tod im roten Jaguar [1968 / trailer] and the comic Wallace homage Der Wixxer [2004 / see below]).
German Trailer to
Der Wixxer (2004):
Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings says that they were "initially excited about viewing this entry in Germany's series of Edgar Wallace movies; it was really shaping up to be something special. Unfortunately, disappointment set in fairly early; the story involves a bewildering array of characters, and trying to sort them out in the first part of the movie turned out to be a real chore, and a rather tiresome one. Throw in a singularly unfunny comic relief character, and things just get worse. Still, once the plot gets moving again and they start thinning out the cast with a series of murders, things pick up considerably. [...]"
Over at imdb, Joseph Gillis of Dublin, Ireland, is of the opinion that the movie is confusing but worth sticking with: "This one is closer to the straight drama of the British Edgar Wallace series, despite the presence of the ubiquitous Eddi Arent, whose presence serves to lighten the tone; on this occasion he's the assistant to the investigating police officer, and displays an unexpected talent for wrestling. It features so many characters and subplots — swindlers and forgers, gold-diggers and blackmailers; to name just four — that it's quite easy to get lost in the plot, or sub-plots, but as long as you concentrate on the main plot thread — that treasure is buried in the grounds of Lord Chelford's estate; that it is being protected by a mysterious 'Black Abbott' figure; and that literally everybody wants to get their hands on it — you can settle back and let the proceedings unfold. It helps, also, that the investigating officer seems to have an uncanny knack of getting to the heart of the matter — without seemingly doing much investigating — and thus does all the figuring out for you. [...] The film has a number of good nocturnal chase scenes, excitingly filmed. It also boasts a wonderfully kitschy soundtrack [by the great Martin Böttcher]."
Excerpt of Title Track to Der schwarze Abt
by Martin Böttcher:





Zimmer 13
(1964, dir. Harald Reinl)
Based on the Wallace book entitled — Surr-prize!Room 13, which had already been adapted for the cinema in 1937 as Mr Reeder in Room 13, directed by the mostly forgotten Norman Lee (10 Oct 1898 — 2 June 1964); Mr. Reeder, by the way, who does not appear in the German version of the tale, is a regular mystery-solving character of Wallace's who appears in a number of Wallace books and short stories. As for director Norman Lee, among his other movies of note is the first film adaptation of The Door with Seven Locks (1940), which was adapted as a Railto Wallace movie (without Fuchsberger) in 1962 (German trailer).
Groovy fan-made trailer to
Norman Lee's The Door with Seven Locks (1940):
 
Zimmer 13 is Reinl's and Karin Dor's fourth Wallace film (though not together), Siegfried Schürenberg's fifth, Eddi Arent's fourteenth and Joachim Fuchsberger's eighth — and Peter Thomas, the only musician to make better films scores than Martin Böttcher, is there for the seventh time. Like Der Frosch mit der Maske (1959) and Der rote Kreis(1960), all exterior shots were done in Denmark, the last time for a Wallace movie. (Isn't the Copenhagen train station fantastic? You should see it in real life.)
German Trailer to
Zimmer 13:
Oddly enough, Zimmer 13 was one of the financially less-successful Wallace movies when it was released — but probably not due to the movie itself: set the red light milieu, it was the first of the series to be released with an "As of 18" rating (unbelievable by today's standards), and thus it had to do without a substantial portion of the series' regular audience. One of the reasons it got an 18-rating were split seconds of nudity during strip scenes at the club like that pictured here below... the exotic dancer here is promptly killed a few minutes later, her throat slit by a straight razor.
To loosely translate the plot description as given at and by Rialto Film: "Sir Robert Marney (Walter Rilla), member of the British House of Commons, receives an unpleasant visit at his country estate. Twenty years previously, he had helped a criminal (Richard Häussler) to escape abroad after a bank robbery. Due to his current position, Sir Marney dares not call the police, and thus he is completely at the mercy of a vicious criminal, especially since the villain threatens to harm Sir Marney's young, beautiful daughter (Karin Dor) should Sir Marney not blindly obey him. Soon, Sir Marney is summoned to Room 13 at an ominous night club, where he finds several gangsters waiting for him. As they plan a robbery, a striptease dancer at the club is murdered in cold blood with a razor. In desperation, Sir Marney turns private detective Jonny Gray (Joachim Fuchsberger)..."
English Trailer to
Room 13:
The Lucid Nightmare says: "Zimmer 13, AKA Room 13, is a moody krimi film that spends a great deal of time relying on its gothic and crime infused themes, while unraveling out a caper filled with blackmail, kidnapping, and murder. The tone of the film is dark, emphasizing the seedy underbelly of this cinematic criminal world, and the filmmakers only sprinkle a few comedic pinches every now and then so as not to drown the audience in its overwhelmingly dire atmosphere. With its beautifully haunting black and white photography and its mystery laced narrative, Zimmer 13 is a krimi with exceptional quality."



Der Hexer
(1964, dir. Alfred Vohrer) 

German Trailer:
In the US, aka The Mysterious Magician, The Wizard and The Ringer. Video Cheese knows what makes for a good video experience: "Goofy fun with ornate action, sudden violence, broad comic relief, booby traps, secret panels, spies, double crosses, sword canes, killer priests, lots of — as the film calls them — pretty girls, and a hero who routinely gets himself beaten up. A very stylish effort. I especially liked the shot from 'inside' a phone, with the camera looking out at the guy placing a call through the rotary dial holes. (!!) I don't think I’ve ever seen that one before."
The "pretty girls" of the movie include the dead sister (Petra von der Linde), the secretary (Ann Savo), the girlfriend (Sophie Hardy, who got naked in her next Wallace movie, The Trygon Factor aka Das Geheimnis der weißen Nonne [1966 / German trailer]), and the wife (Margot Trooger [2 June 1923 — 24 April 1994 of Rolf Olson's Das Rasthaus der grausamen Puppen aka The Devil's Girls aka Inn of the Gruesome Dolls (1967)]).
Title Track to
Das Rasthaus der grausamen Puppen:
Earlier versions of the movie include but are not limited to Arthur Maude's The Ringer (1928), Carl Lamac& Martin Fric's Der Hexer aka The Sorcerer (1932 / trailer, with a young Fritz Rasp [!]), Walter Forde's The Ringer (1932) and The Gaunt Stranger (1938), and Guy Hamilton's The Ringer (1952 / music), the last of which we looked at briefly in our R.I.P. Career Review of Herbert Lom.
Der Hexer, Alfred Vohrer's sixth Wallace movie, is noteworthy as being not only the only Wallace film, but also the only movie project in general, to feature the two good-guy stalwarts of the Rialto Wallace movies — Joachim Fuchsberger and Heinz Drache (9 Feb 1923 — 3 April 2002, of Nur tote Zeugen schweigen [1962], Sanders und das Schiff des Todes (1965) and much more) — together on the screen. (Unlike Fuchsberger, and not in this movie, Heinz Drache, who appeared in a total of 9 Wallace films, once broke mold to play the bad guy in Der Hund von Blackwood Castle [1968 / German trailer].)
Fuchsberger, unlike Drache, did not return the next year for the movie's less-satisfying sequel, Neues vom Hexer (1965 / trailer).
English Trailer:
To loosely translate the plot description as given at and by Rialto Film: "The 'Wanted' poster are out for Arthur Miller, aka 'Der Hexer'— for murder! Without mercy Arthur Miller exercises vigilante justice when he returns from exile in Australia to revenge the murder of his sister (Petra von der Linde). Inspector of Higgins (Joachim Fuchsberger) of Scotland Yard has a tricky case to solve, because 'Der Hexer' is a master of disguise who can change his face at will — he has hundreds of them! He conducts his terrible mischief everywhere and can't be caught. Questions upon questions arise as Scotland Yard confronts a nearly impossible task..."
To loosely translate the text at New Video: "A lot of tension, an involved story with many suspects, gloomy atmosphere and not too much slapstick: this is definitely one of the best German Edgar Wallace films, the title of which was ambiguously modified 40 years later [for Der Wixxer (2004 / trailer) and Neues vom Wixxer (2007), the latter of which we look at later]."
Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings, it seems, agrees: "Outside of a little horror atmosphere in this one, there's really not much in the way of fantastic content here. It is, however, one of the most entertaining of the krimis; it's easy to follow, has an interesting premise, and the humorous content is fairly good. The movie even has a bit of William Castle-like gimmick feel to it [...]. At any rate, this is a very good choice for anyone out there interested in trying out a krimi."



(1965, dir. Eberhard Itzenplitz)
German Trailer:
We don't think this one ever got an English language release, but had it had one, the title probably would've been something like: The Hotel of Dead Guests.
Director Dr. Eberhard Itzenplitz (8 Nov 1926 — 21 July 2012) directed mostly for television and theatre; Hotel der toten Gäste was his first cinema release and, well, it isn't exactly overwhelming. In fact, it's a snoozer — possibly the most boring krimi we have ever had the displeasure of viewing. The German website Remember It For Later would seem to agree, as they call the movie "90 minutes of boredom" and complain that "the director Itzenplitz can't breathe a spark of life [into the movie]. It's no wonder that Hotel der toten Gäste is only one of a total of three theatrical releases that he made, each at an interval of ten years. He was probably better suited for TV."
Elke Sommer sings this Song in the Movie:
Nevertheless, to loosely translate the plot description found at Film Reporter: "Barney Blair (Joachim Fuchsberger) is a talented and successful crime reporter. His skills are to his advantage when one of his informants is found dead in his office and he falls under suspicion of murder. The responsible officer at Scotland Yard suggests to him that he should prove his innocence by finding the real killer. Following that advice, Blair goes to San Remo in Italy to do some research. There, at the Schlager Festival, nobody suspects that a murderer is among the artists. Only after a second person is killed does Blair no longer have to search for the killer alone. Together with Inspector Forbesa (Hans Nielsen [30 Nov 1911 — 13 Oct 1965] of Scotland Yard jagt Dr. Mabuse [1963 / scene] and Das Ungeheuer von London City (1964 / trailer below)), he follows the clues leading to the killer."
German Trailer to
Das Ungeheuer von London City (1964):
 



Der letzte Mohikaner
(1965, dir. Harald Reinl)
German Trailer:
Joachim Fuchsberger plays Captain Bill Hayward in the first of his only two westerns and the last film he was ever to make together with director Harald Reinl. Karin Dor is of course along for the pony ride. Unlike the novel, this version of the tale includes a chest full of government gold, an exploding mountain, and a cavalry charge.
Der letzte Mohikaner, aka The Last Tomahawk, is a German-Italo version of James Fenimore Cooper's classic novel The Last of the Mohicans which, as few people know, is the 1826 sequel to the now less-famous Cooper novel The Pioneers (1823) and prequel to another less-famous Cooper novel The Prairie (1827). Whereas The Last of the Mohicans has been filmed dozens of times, both The Pioneers and The Prairie have only been film once each, both as B-films: the Tex Ritter vehicle The Pioneers (1941) and the Frank Wisbar Poverty Row drama The Prairie (1947).
Peter Thomas's Theme to
Der letzte Mohikaner:
Frank Wisbar, by the way, was a talented German filmmaker forced to flee from the Nazis 'cause his wife was not Aryan; once in the US, he was never able to get out of Poverty Row, something he only managed to sort of do again after 1957, when he returned to Germany. Among his more interesting films: "the last classic German Expressionist film"Ferrywoman Maria (1936 / first 20 minutes), Strangler of the Swamp (1946 / see below), the cheapie horror Devil Bat's Daughter (1946 / trailer) and, of course, Nasser Asphalt (1958), which rejuvenated his career in Germany.
Full Movie —
Frank Wisbar's Strangler of the Swamp (1946):
To loosely translate the plot given at the Film Reporter: "North America during the times of the American Indian Wars: the English and French are fighting for the colonial control of the new world and pull in Native Americans as allies. The Iroquoian Chief Magua (Ricardo Rodríguez) attacks the Mohicans [in some versions, the "Tomahawks"]. With the help of the whiteys, he destroys the entire tribe. Unkas (Daniel Martín of Demon Witch Child [1975 / full movie], Devil's Guests [1976 / fashion show], Crypt of the Living Dead [1973 / full movie] and Mystery on Monster Island [1981 / trailer]) is the only survivor of the dastardly attack. He swears revenge upon his Chingachgook (Mike Brendel). Magua continues his nasty deeds, and as return for the previous assistance of whitey Roger (Stelio Candelli), he helps Roger and his gang attack a money transporter. But the attack goes wrong and the soldiers escape with the money to a nearby farm where the British officer Munroe (Carl Lange of Die blaue Hand [1967 / trailer]) calls the shots. He's holding the fort with the last his soldiers, but his thoughts are with his daughters Cora (Karin Dor) and Alice Munroe (Marie-France). They are underway to him, a dangerous journey in that day and age. Magua pretends to be a messenger of Daddy Munroe so as to lure women and their companions into a trap..."
European Film Review says: "The Last Tomahawk derives more from the German school of Westerns than the Italian. It's similarities to the popular Winnetou series of films are worn with pride. There's a heroic Indian chieftain, a trusty paleface sidekick, loads of romance and a relatively melodramatic plotline to draw it all together. What there isn't are gurning extras [...], random acts of violence and that disorientating atmosphere that you find in the more southerly examples — well, the better ones anyway — of the genre. There are some good aspects. Harald Reinl directs well, much as is to be expected from this much-travelled veteran, and manages to create two especially powerful sequences: the aforementioned ambush and an impressive rockfall. The climactic fight isn't half-bad either, there's an unexpected conclusion and everything shoots along at pace (except for a slight lull in the middle). [...] On the whole, however, it's difficult to recommend Tomahawk with any enthusiasm. As a curiosity it does have some value, and it's entertaining in a Saturday-morning matinee way, but it simply isn't — oh dammit, let's be honest — isn't cruel enough to stand up to comparison with the likes of Killer Kid (1967 / trailer), Django the Bastard (1969 / German trailer) or Blood at Sundown (1965 / Italo trailer)."
Full Version — The First Film Version Ever of
The Last of the Mohicans (1920):* 
* Look for an un-credited Boris Karloff cast as a Native American.




Ich, Dr. Fu Man Chu
(1965, dir. Don Sharp)


Trailer:
Aka The Face of Fu Manchu, this English/German coproduction is, obviously enough, based on the evil Chinese villain created eons ago by Sax Rohmer (15 Feb 1883 — 1 June 1959), nee Arthur Henry Ward. The film was shot in Dublin, and despite what the German marketing indicated, the true hero of the movie (vs. the anti-hero of Fu Man Chu, played by the indomitable Christopher Lee) was not Joachim Fuchsberger's character Carl Jannsen but, as in the book, Nayland Smith, who is played here by the character actor Nigel Green (15 Oct 1924 — 15 May 1972, of Countess Dracula [1971 / trailer], The Skull [1965 / trailer], Gorgo [1961 / trailer], Corridors of Blood [1958 / trailer], Let's Kill Uncle [1966 / trailer], Jason and the Argonauts [1963 / trailer] and more, more more).
The first of five in a series of movies, The Face of Fu Manchu is the only one to feature Joachim Fuchsberger anywhere — or Karin Dor, who is there playing "Maria Muller". For that matter, only Christopher Lee, Tsai Chin (Lin Tang) and Howard Marion-Crawford (Dr. Petrie) appear in all five Fu Manchu movies.
Not from the Movie —
Tsai Chin (Lin Tang) sings The Ding Dong Song:
We took a quick look at the movie in our R.I.P. Career Review of Don Sharp, the director, where we wrote: "[...] When Harry Alan Towers joined the German production company Constantin Film to create a new franchise of thrillers ala the popular Dr Mabuse and Edgar Wallace films, Sharp was pulled in to direct the first of what ended up being five Fu Manchu films. (Sharp only directed this and the first follow up film, The Brides of Fu Manchu (1966 / trailer), but the headlining star Christopher Lee appeared as Fu Manchu in all the films; Fu Manchu is second only to Dracula as the film character he played most often.) For the West German version, the German actors — the ever-popular Joachim Fuchsberger and Karin Dor — received top-billing alongside Lee, though Fu Manchu's constant nemesis Nayland Smith was actually played by Nigel Green (The Masque of the Red Death [1964 / trailer]). The plot, as supplied by Jeremy Perkins at imdb: "Grisly strangulations in London alert Nayland Smith of Scotland Yard to the possibility that fiendish Fu Manchu may not after all be dead, even though Smith witnessed his execution. A killer spray made from Tibetan berries seems to be involved and clues keep leading back to the Thames."
It is perhaps worth noting that the great Jess Franco directed the last two films of the series, The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968 / trailer) and The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969 / trailer); the terrible critical and box office response to the final film torpedoed the 6th movie in planning.



Ich habe sie gut gekannt
(1965, dir. Antonio Pietrangeli)

Joachim Fuchsberger goes from trash film (The Face of Fu Manchu) to art film. Originally entitled Io la conoscevo bene, this movie reached the art houses in the US as I Knew Her Well. Italian director Antonio Pietrangeli (19 Jan 1919 — 12 July 1968) died while filming his next movie, Come, quando, perché aka How, When and with Whom, drowning in the sea of Gaeta in 1968; it was finished by Valerio Zurlini.
In 2008, Io la conoscevo bene was selected for the list of the 100 Italian films to be conserved ("100 film italiani da salvare"), a list aiming to catalog the "100 films that have changed the collective memory of the country between 1942 and 1978". The movie exists in two different official versions, the German version being about 17 minutes shorter. The 2013 DVD release contains both versions. Were it not for the continual presence of the lead character Adriana (Stefania Sandrelli of The Black Belly of the Tarantula [1971 / trailer] and Devil in the Brain [1972 / soundtrack]), the film could almost be considered an ensemble movie, as all the major European names who take part in the film — Mario Adorf, Franco Nero, Ugo Tognazzi and Fuchsbeger, among others — appear in episodes of Adriana's life.
From the Movie —
Sergio Endrigo sings Mani bucate:
Over at YouTube, the text written by drbagrov of Taiwan is used: "The theme of loneliness and alienation is not new in cinema, but Pietrangeli takes it from a different angle: his heroine, the naive countryside girl Adriana (Sandrelli), who dreams of a career as a star in Rome, is not an escapist or introvert; on the contrary, she tries her best to socialize and befriend people, but the results are most disappointing and frustrating — people just ignore her, use her, make fun of her, exploit her body and her good intentions. Nobody takes her seriously. Is it our cruel modern world's trademark? Seems to be true. INDIFFERENCE also kills. The magnificent cast [...], each of them playing very small episodes, give distinctive CHARACTERS, blood and flesh, to their protagonists, though their screen life lasts no more than five minutes each."
Movie Censorship continues: "Probably only a few enthusiasts know about the movie as it can still be considered an insider's tip. The movie consists of several episodes only tied loosely together. In those, the viewer gets a glimpse of the life of Adriana, a naive young girl from the countryside, which dreams of a film career in Rome. She falls in love with one man after another, although her encounters never go further than (at no point shown) sexual encounters. With its storyline set during the economic boom and in the time when the contraceptive pill became available, the movie can actually be seen as a bitter criticism of society. Egoistic men only caring about their own interests and a paralyzing monotony seem to be the defining aspects of the time and Adriana's desperate search for identity is becoming quite clear, even more so because she changes her hair style and clothes in almost every scene. Despite the light-hearted soundtrack and the depiction of people without a care in the world, a pessimistic atmosphere is being created — if you have the patience for the sometimes fast-paced, sometimes slowly progressing movie."
Joachim Fuchsberger Speaks Italian!


Part III to follow... next month.

Zombie Massacre (2013)

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Wow! It only took 15 years for Zombie Massacre, the Commodore Amiga computer video game that you've never heard of, originally released in 1998, to finally make it to the little screen — as a direct-to-DVD Uwe Boll production. (We can't help but suspect that the blood and explosions in the video game, despite the year of its genesis, are surely better and more convincing than the CGI blood and explosions of the movie.)
Not that we knew it was a Boll production when we put it on: it was merely one of some dozens of movies in the "Zombie Movies" folder on our pal's computer, where it resided under the title it was released as in Great Britain, Apocalypse Z, a title clearly intended to ride on the coattails of the far more famous and successful big budget B-movie and Brad Pitt vehicle, World War Z (2013 / trailer). Had we known from the start it was a Boll production, we probably would've skipped it, because we are not a fan of him or his movies. His films are the only ones we know of that are continually worse than anything by The Asylum, if only because they — amazingly enough — are made with so much less care.
Be what it may, however, Zombie Massacre begins with an introductory scene before the credits run, a scene that sets up the situation in which most of the remaining movie is set. And this pre-credit sequence is without a doubt a total knockout. Built around a brief insight into the depressing and dead-end life of a factory woman leading up to her conversion into a zombie, the excellently directed and set interlude overflows with an existential bleakness that literally planted a hook firmly in our gums and made us want to see the movie. And roughly 85 minutes later, the movie then ended with a closing scene that was a joy: a hilariously breast-heavy and bloody ode to T&A&B&G (tits and ass and blood and guts) exploitation set at pool party heavy with silicone. Great.
The problem, however, is that everything in-between those two outstanding scenes sucks. Though the script and directorial credits are given to two Italians, Luca Boni and Marco Ristori, who perhaps allowed themselves to show some notable talent in those two scenes, the rest of the movie is 100% Uwe Boll at his worst — in other words, a senseless and boring exercise in Z-grade filmmaking.
To give credit to the plus points, it should be mentioned that most of the zombies look pretty groovy and groaty, if a little bit too much like those of the crappy no-budget Aussie flick, The Dark Lurking (2012). Here, too, however, the Boll effect sneaks through on occasion: one or two or three zombies look like they're wearing ill-fitting face masks, and the Zombie King that shows up at for the final showdown is too over-the-top and out-of-the-blue to be good for anything other than a laugh.
Another plus point, of course, in the fabulous weightlifter Christian Boeving as the movie's lead hero Jack Stone. We gotta admit we've had a (to use a definite misnomer) soft spot for him ever since we caught his movie debut, as "Lance Bronson", in Chi Chi La Rue's X-rated flick Posing Strap (1994), where he blows his load for Zak Spears. (We have yet to catch his only other known porn job, a solo scene as "Eric Masterson" in Crystal Crawford's Coverboys [1996] — but we will, one day.) In Zombie Massacre, however, the only skin he shows is his fabulous hairless torso in a singular and out-of-place two-second scene and, regrettably, he remains fully clothed for the rest of the movie. (That's him, by the way, on the Posing Strap poster below.) As Jack, he plays a man with nothing left to lose who joins three mercenaries to try to put an end to the "situation".
And what is the situation? An explosion at a top secret and illegal bio-warfare experiments site run by the evil US government in a small Eastern European country releases an agent that turns all the locals into kill-happy mutant zombies with bad teeth and skin. Jack and his team of mercenaries — bomber John 'Mad Dog' McKellen (Mike Mitchell), sniper Dragan Ilic (Daniel Vivian) and Asian samurai Eden Shizuka (played by a very Caucasian Tara Cardinal) — go in to place a bomb at the power plant so contain the situation by wiping the place off the face of the earth in a faked nuclear meltdown and explosion. Once there, they find out they've been double-crossed by General Carter (a much too young and too English Carl Wharton) and now have but an hour to fight their way through the zombie-infested town to get to the airport and escape...
A simple and non-involving plot that has enough holes in it to be mistaken as Swiss cheese, but which should nevertheless be enough to make a feature-length movie around. But somehow, the filmmakers fail at this and, instead, pad about a 20 minute's worth of zombie action with triple the amount of pointless and aggravating dialogue and long scenes in which nothing happens. And, really, Uwe Boll — with an accent thicker than Arnie's — doing a cameo as the President of the United States? No, it's not funny, it's insulting. Is it really that hard to find cheap and desperate American actors? (Of some fun in this regard, at least, is Jon Campling [of our Short Film of the Month of April 2013, Dead Man's Lake], who plays the involuntarily involved tourist — "entrepreneur"— Doug Mulligan; an Englishman playing an American, he doesn't just overact a storm, he actually over-accents a storm.)
Whatever. Zombie Massacre is simply another sorry-ass Boll film that definitely does not require viewing — as a whole film. On a trash level, the trailer above is far more entertaining than the movie itself. On a cinematic level, the pre-credit sequence is well worth watching — but do yourself a favor and either turn the flick off once the credits begin to roll or, if you're in the mood for some grindhouse-flavored sleaze, hop forward to the movie's final scene at the swimming pool. Everything else is truly a waste of your time... and face it, you ain't getting any younger.

Misc. Film Fun: Boogie Down!

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Like to dance? We do — not that we're really all that good at it, though. One person that was, however, was Rita Hayworth (17 Oct 1918 – 14 May 1987) — not surprisingly, seeing that she came from a family with a long tradition of professional dancing. And one person that still is good at dancing is Christopher Walken, who seems to wiggle his hips at least once in almost all his movies.
What follows below are two fan-made dance videos that are always a gas to see, one for each previously mentioned legend, cut together from past movies of the given star and edited to dance classics of what is slowly but surely becoming not the recent past: Rita to the BeeGees'Stayin' Alive, the #1 hit from 1978 (#189 on the list of Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time) and Walken to the early — and great — House hit from C+C Music Factory, Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now), which hit #2 on the Billboard charts in 1990. Enjoy!

Rita Hayworth is Stayin' Alive:
Films used by the video's creator, et7waage1: Down to Earth (1947), You'll Never Get Rich (1941), Tonight and Every Night (1945), Cover Girl (1944), You Were Never Lovelier (1942), Gilda (1946), Miss Sadie Thompson (1953), My Gal Sal (1942), Pal Joey (1957), and Affair in Trinidad (1952).

Christopher Walken supercut — Dance Now:
"A music video starring the one and only Christopher Walken. Compiled and edited by Ben Craw. A Smash TV production." Films used: Roseland (1977), The Deer Hunter (1978), Brainstorm (1983), Pennies from Heaven (1981), The Dead Zone (1983), A View To A Kill (1985), At Close Range (1986), Puss in Boots (1988), Homeboy (1988), Communion(1989), King of New York (1990), The Comfort of Strangers (1990), Sarah, Plain and Tall (1991), All-American Murder (1991), Batman Returns (1992), Skylark (1993), True Romance (1993), Wayne's World 2 (1993), A Business Affair (1994), Pulp Fiction (1994), The Prophecy (1995), Search and Destroy (1995), Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995), The Funeral (1996), Suicide Kings (1997), Mousehunt (1997), New Rose Hotel (1998), Blast from the Past (1999), Sleepy Hollow (1999), The Opportunists (2000), Scotland, Pa. (2001), Joe Dirt (2001), America's Sweethearts (2001), The Affair of the Necklace (2001), Poolhall Junkies (2002), The Country Bears (2002), Undertaking Betty(2002), Catch Me If You Can (2002), Gigli (2003), The Rundown (2003), Man on Fire (2004), Envy (2004), The Stepford Wives (2004), Around the Bend (2004), Wedding Crashers (2005), Romance & Cigarettes (2005), Domino (2005), Click (2006), Fade to Black (2006), Man of the Year (2006), Hairspray (2007), Balls of Fury (2007), $5 a Day (2008), The Maiden Heist (2009), Stand Up Guys (2012), A Late Quartet (2012),and The Power of Few (2013).

R.I.P.: Harry H. Novak, Part X: 1973

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12 January  1928 — 26 March  2014

"When I was a kid, my Daddy told me, 'There's a buyer for everything.' And I lived to find out that he was right."
Harry H. Novak


Harry H. Novak, alongside David F Friedman (24 Dec 1923 — 14 Feb 2011) one of the great (s)exploitation kings of the last half of the 20th century, died 26 March 2014 at the age of 86.
A detailed career review of all the projects Harry H. Novak foisted upon the American public would be Sisyphean task at best and hardly possible, as no full and unequivocal list exists. What follows is a review of the films that we found that, for the most part, probably had Novak's fingers involved somewhere along the way — and some that may not have. It is definitely not a complete list, and definitely not infallible, it is merely culled from sources reliable and unreliable that we found online. We also in no way suggest that the given release dates are the correct ones, they are merely the first ones we found.
If you know any we missed, feel free to send the title...
 

Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II: 1956-64
Go here for Part III: 1965-66
Go here for Part IV: 1967
Go here for Part V: 1968
Go here for Part VI: 1969
Go here for Part VII: 1970
Go here for Part VIII: 1971
Go here for Part IX: 1972



Sexcapade in Mexico
(1973, dir. William de Diego)
We're not all that sure of Novak's involvement here, but as the website Strange Things Are Happening says, Novak "also produced the documentary Prostitution Pornography USA and hardcore films made by Carlos Tobalina including Last Tango in Acapulco (1973), Sexcapade in Mexico and Sexual Kung Fu in Hong Kong (1974)." So, for the benefit of the doubt, we'll include the movie here. Still, our doubt is big, for STAH gets a few things wrong in that sentence: For one, while this film here is a Hollywood International Pictures movie, Sexcapade in Mexico is not a porn film; rather, far more, it is a late-day softcore (if graphic) roughie. Likewise, while Novak did indeed co-produce and/or release a couple of Tobalina films from Tobalina's production firm Hollywood International Pictures, and more than one site lists Last Tango in Acapulco and Sexual Kung Fu in Hong Kong as among those movies, we could find no conclusive secondary evidence that Sexcapade in Mexico is one such movie.
Adam & the Ants —
Sexcapade in Mexico:
Sexcapade in Mexico was, as far as we can tell, the second and last directorial project of occasional cinematographer William de Diego; his first directorial turn was Dead End Dolls (1972, poster below). (He had previously done the cinematography for the Golden Turkey The Las Vegas Hillbillys [1966 / scene] and later did the same for the Novak-distributed Hitchhike to Hell [1977].) Scriptwriter Dan DiStefano went on to write for TV, even penning a dull TV horror flicks entitled Covenant (1985 / trailer) and Nightmare on the 13th Floor (1990 / first 9 minutes). The music supervisor of Sexcapade in Mexico was no less than Buddy Feyne (9 June 1912 — 10 Dec 1998), the lyricist behind Tuxedo Junction and Jersey Bounce.
Lyrics by Buddy Feyne —
The Manhattan Transfer does Tuxedo Junction:
Women in Prison Films saw this obscure movie: "[...] The nuts and bolts of Sexcapade in Mexico revolve around Traci (Cynthia Thornell) and her boyfriend, Mike (Steven Johnson who resembles a homely David Cassidy). A late night grab-ass session lands the precocious teen in hot water with her angry mother (Christiane Roth) who, for some reason, is dubbed with a Bela Lugosi accent. [...] Meanwhile, Mommy Dearest is engaged in some extra-marital mayhem with her younger lover. Traci comes home early one day and discovers Mom smoking on her lover's ham like a crackpipe. [...] Traci packs her belongings up and heads to Mexico for some south-of-the-border sleaze with Mike. After a few too many pitchers of Sangria, they decide to tie the knot. [...] While hitching, our lovebirds cross paths with a trio of evolutionary rejects. [...] There's the hulking leader, Leonard (Louis Ojena of The Love Butcher [1975 / full film in 3 minutes]), cackling Ed (who never shuts up), and Ross, a big rubber-faced vegetable with stink eye. The chuckleheads drive to a deserted cabin and beat Mike senseless. Traci is subjected to some gruelling molestation while Mike is folded up like an accordion. But the newlyweds eventually escape and Mike Morphs into Charles Bronson. It's payback time! [...]."
As of the writing of this entry (31 Oct 2014), the full film with its "hairy bushed Mexican Hookers with old gross ugly skinny guys with saggy ballz" is available here oneline at Youtube. 
Rape in Mexico
4 NSFW Minutes of Sexcapade:



The Black Bunch
(1973, dir. Henning Schellerup)

Supposedly aka Jungle Sex, Super Sisters, and Vicious Virgins. Denmark-born director Henning Schellerup (3 Jan 1928 — 12 May 2000) came to the US in 1952, was naturalized in '57, and began working in film in '68 as an assistant cameraman on the David F. Friedman film Thar She Blows (1968). He was primarily active as a cinematographer (of such classics as Silent Night, Deadly Night [1984 / trailer], Kiss of the Tarantula [1976 / trailer] and everyone's favorite, Planet of the Dinosaurs [1977 / a trailer]), but he also directed an occasional TV movie or super-cheap 42nd Street flotsam like the mostly forgotten Blaxploitation flicks The Black Alley Cats (1973, looked at later), Sweet Jesus, Preacherman (1973 / trailer) and this movie here, The Black Bunch. He ended his career doing religious documentaries and Christian films and eventually retired to die in Utah.
Trailer to
The Black Bunch:
Schellerup's "Blaxploitation" movies tend to have an oddly home-made look to them and have remained notably — some might say rightfully — obscure. Women In Prison Films reiterates the only plot found online: "Four African village women, sole survivors of a mercenary massacre, swear vengeance. They join an unsavory party of bounty hunters on the trail of a millionaire's kidnapped son. The women seduce the bounty hunters but fail to obtain their weapons. [...] A pouch of diamonds is introduced into the script, and almost everybody ends up dead."
Set in South Africa but made in the USA, and since the Novak catalog was removed from Something Weird, pretty much unavailable. Over at imdb, the ever-resilient lor from New York City says: "Put simply, this feature film goes through the motions of presenting titillating content so lamely that it left my sensibilities parched, like waking up with such a dry mouth one cries out for some water. Only pleasant surprise was the casting of one of my favorite vintage porn stars Norman Fields in the leading role. [...] The balding guy is wearing a horrible wig that makes him very difficult to recognize, especially since this is a softcore porn film and his large dick is barely glimpsed on screen. He plays Pepe Russo, sort of a great white hunter, helping our other hero played by 'William Victory' [...] hunt for an industrialist's missing son in Darkest Africa. It's all shot in Darkest California, with four busty, constantly topless (and frequently bottomless) leading ladies as the title Bunch pretending to be African natives. They've survived a massacre at their village by nasty mercenaries. Also on hand are a couple of Black boys from the States, injected into the trek so that some traditional blaxploitation jive talk can spew forth. The whole purpose of the exercise is to stage tedious and repetitive sex scenes, including lots of mixed-combo action, that might have been more entertaining had this been one of Fields' usual XXX assignments. [...] The four titular leading ladies (I couldn't resist, how can you blame me?) are extremely untalented. One of them dances around a couple of times, inadvertently revealing her day job at some bottomless joint in Compton. [...]."



The Devil's Garden
(1973, writ & dir. Bob Chin)

More than one source claims Novak picked this flick up for distribution; we have our doubts, but who are we to argue? We have likewise read that this is a softcore film and a hardcore film; seeing that it was directed by Chin — the inspiration for Burt Reynolds' character in Boogie Nights (1997) — we would imagine a hardcore version is not unthinkable.
 
Trailer to
Boogie Nights (1997):
A number of websites online say: "Released by Harry Novak, shot on location in the West Indies and brimming with local color, The Devil's Garden overflows with an eerie black-magical mood and floods the senses with erotic scenes of near explicit sex. When, following the voodoo ritual, Sandi (Sandy Carey of Time Walker [1982 / trailer] and The Jekyll and Hyde Portfolio [1971 / scene / trailer]) wakes up in bed with her husband (Lawrence Edwards), and you're tempted to grumble that it's all just another it-was-only-a-dream ending… don't. Instead, watch Sandi breathe a sigh of relief on hubby's joy stick as you sing along with the Deviate: 'Oh, Sandi, baby, go do that voodoo that you do so well…' Besides, there's another surprise in store for us after the sex. Isn't there always?" 
Mondo Stumpo points out the film's best aspects: "Pioneer pornographer Bob Chinn [...] went to Jamaica to make this weird sex-horror opus. And I mean weird. [...] Inept on every level, the film is compulsively watchable thanks to ex-film school graduate Chinn, an enthusiastic ham-fisted auteur who actually tries to make a movie instead of a flimsily constructed series of sex scenes. The music's weird, the sex is weird (St Jermaine [John Paul Jones of Resurrection of Eve (1973)] wears a Balinese mask and screams like a monkey with its ass on fire) and the film is filled with flashbacks and flashbacks within flashbacks. For us connoisseurs of the smutty, the inane and the truly insane, it's a pathologically watchable treat."
Theme to
Resurrection of Eve (1973):

Resurrection of Eve 1973 (Purple Skies & Butterflies) from ddaa on Vimeo.
David Huber at AV Maniacs says: "Ineptly directed, clumsily edited, and woodenly acted, this soft-porn feature directed by Bob Chinn is still a keeper for me due to one extended nude scene. [...] To be blunt, I like dark-skinned women with big boobs. [In the case of The Devil's Garden, Deborah McGuire,* seen here to the left, who 'smack in the middle of the movie (...) undresses and writhes around naked for about 10 minutes.'] The movie pretty much sucks. It stars Sandy Carey, Sandy Dempsey, and even Bob Chinn himself. There's lots of bizarre sex scenes, including a guy who has sex wearing a tribal mask while screeching like a chimpanzee and/or an elephant, and Sandy Carey in a bondage scene sucking people's feet, and stuff like that. It's all very surreal, and [...] very dreamlike (if your dreams suck and contain lotsa softcore sex); in fact it turns out to be a dream... or is it? [...] My recommendation is that if you like a Pam Grier-type of woman, this is for you. If your tastes run elsewhere, then I would skip The Devil's Garden unless you like foot-sucking bondage, which many of you might anyway."
*Married to Richard Pryor from September 22, 1977 to August 1978, she is perhaps best remembered today as SuperEula in Russ Meyer's Supervixens (1975 / trailer). Who knows where she is now...
The Devil's Garden was, at one point, distributed as a double feature with Jean Brismée's The Devil's Nightmare (1971).
Trailer to
The Devil's Nightmare (1971):
 



Sassy Sue
(1973, writ & dir. Bethel Buckalew)


More softcore hixploitation from Buckalew and Novak, the latter who produced and distributed the movie, which can currently be found at this very NSFW porn website; rest assured, you see a lot of breasts and balls and limp wieners in Laß jucken im Heu, as the movie is called in German. The music is once again from Harold Hensley (3 July 1922 — 15 Sept 1988) and Hal Southern (1919 — 15 July 1998), two real down-home boys who supplied the music a number of Novak and/or Buckalew corn semi-porns.
"Outhouse Follies"
in Sassy Sue:
The Video Vacuum, which calls the film "pretty funny", explains the plot: "A redneck moonshiner (Patrick Wright [28 Nov 1939 — 9 Dec 2004] of Maniac Cop [1988 / trailer], Track of the Moon Beast [1976 / trailer], Graduation Day [1981 / trailer / full movie] and Devil's Ecstasy [1977 / 3 minutes]) gets his kicks by 'shucking' the corn of his freshly legal neighbor's daughter Dolly (Sharon Kelly [aka Colleen Brennan] of Delinquent School Girls [1975 / trailer] fame). Since the moonshiner's son Junior (John Tull) has a cow-fucking problem, dear old dad figures that a roll in the hay with hottie Dolly will cure him of his farm-animal inclinations. Unfortunately, Junior ties a bell around poor Dolly's neck, makes her moo, and fucks her cow style. Afterwards, Pops beds down another red-headed cutie (Sandy Carey from Deep Jaws [1976 / scene]) and convinces her (along with her appropriately slutty sister) to give Junior a whirl in the sack and Junior promptly fizzles in bed due to premature ejaculation. In the end, Junior professes his love for Sassy Sue, the family cow and his folks take the news surprisingly well."
Trailer to
Deep Jaws (1976):
DVD Drive-In says "Sue has no plot whatsoever, but this doesn't stop it from being an entertaining series of vignettes with some damn beautiful women. [...] This film does feature a semi-hardcore sex scene at the climax of the film, where Sandy plays with Junior's member (found here)."
Moonshiner Patrick Wright's only known Directorial Job —
A Scene from Hollywood High (1976):




Convicts Women
(1973, dir. John Hayes [as Harold Brown])
 

German title: Hemd hoch oder ich schieße ("Lift Your Shirt or I'll Shoot"). Director — and occasional scriptwriter, editor, producer, occasional actor — John Hayes (1 March 1930 — 21 Aug 2000) does another movie for Novak (here as producer "C. Roger Hillery"); aka Bust Out, there is supposedly both a hardcore and softcore version floating around out there. Henning Schellerup did the cinematography — and, contrary to some on-line reports, is not director "Harold Brown". Convicts Women is not to be mistaken with Chris Robinson's Thunder County aka Convict Women aka Cell Block Girls, which hit the grindhouses a year later (1974 / see below).
Trailer to Chris Robinson's
Thunder County aka Convict Women (1974).
Amazon says: "You know the world is spinning out of control when none other than Candy Samples herself plays a Sunday school teacher (!?!) chaperoning Rene Bond and a bevy of 'high-school' beauties (Angela Carnon, Lynn Harris, and Becky Sharpe) on a trip to the countryside for their senior class picnic in Convicts Women (a.k.a. Bust Out), a Harry Novak smut classic from the seventies. The God-fearing, Bible-quoting Miss Samples and her fellow teacher, Tom (Myron Griffin), are along to see that the girls 'have a good time... but in a Christian manner.' Fat chance, right? Also in the country, at the same time as the picnickers, are two escaped convicts, Zach ("Ralph Wain") and his buddy, Buddy [forgotten Golden Age perennial working stiff, Rene Bond's boyfriend Ric Lutze,* of Ed Wood Jr.'s Necromania: A Tale of Weird Love! (1971 / full NSFW movie), seen here to the left, who worked on a number of Novak films]." As almost every other website mentions, "it does not take long for them [the horny convicts] to meet up with the high-school girls. Their hunger for female flesh soon becomes uncontrollable so they take Brown and his students prisoners and they all hole up in a deserted ghost town."
* Anyone know whatever happened to him?

Over at imdb, JSwallowX1 of Ireland seems to have expected more from the movie he calls "complete trash": "I hope to [...] save anyone who has any intentions of watching this torment [...] — although I doubt many people will come across this film. It doesn't appeal to me, this kind of movie, but I know that it does appeal to a small minority. About forty minutes of the seventy minute running time is hardcore sex scenes that look very realistic, and probably are in saying that. This gets extremely repetitive, because if I wanted to watch porn I would have just watched porn! The acting is as wooden and eccentric as you could expect. [...]  The ending is atrocious, and comes along after a completely random orgy involving all the cast. [...]. It has no merit whatsoever, has no suspense, drama or even a decent pace or sense of purpose. It's just sex scene after sex scene and becomes extremely repetitive by the end. Not my cup of tea but if you're a fan of this sort of thrash by all means give it a shot, you won't be disappointed." 
Among director John Hayes' many other craptastic movies of note are Five Minutes to Love (1963 / trailer), End of the World (1977 / full movie) Grave of the Vampire(1972 / see below),Baby Rosemary (1976 / trailer), Garden of the Dead(1972 / full movie) andThe Photographer(1974 / trailer). 
The full movie (while it lasts) —
Grave of the Vampire:



A Taste of Hell
(1973, dir. Basil Bradbury & Neil Yarema)

"Half corpse ... all killer. He led a handful of guerrillas against an entire army ... on a doomed mission of revenge!"

A WWII flick set and shot in the Philippines, internationally distributed by Valiant International Pictures, straight to VHS in the USA: A Taste of Hell is a rare foray by Novak into pinoysploitation. Director Basil Bradbury, "one of the greatest big game hunters of all time" (and builder of the Double-D Ranch), had previously done cinematography for Bruno VeSota's Invasion of The Star Creatures (1962 / trailer) & Ted V. Mikels' directorial debut Strike Me Deadly (1963 / trailer), helped produce Peter Perry's great Honeymoon of Terror aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island (1961 / see below) and the unknown Dragstrip Riot (1958 / trailer), and went on to act in King Monster aka Mystery of the Golden Eye (1976) before disappearing.Neil Yarema (1933-12-09 — 1993-11-06), as far as we can tell, never did another movie after this one.
Trailer to Honeymoon of Terror
aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island (1961):
Some website calls the movie "more Filipino-style war exploitation. John Garwood (of Cleopatra Jones  [1973]) stars as a tough soldier helping out the underdog guerrillas in the jungle. Bad guy Vic Diaz ("the Filipino Peter Lorre", of Vampire Hookers [1978 / trailer], Black Mama, White Mama [1972], Blood Thirst [1971 / full movie] and so much more) manages to kill off all his men and disfigures Garwood, leaving his face resembling an extra-cheese pizza that someone dropped in the dirt. Meanwhile, tough guy William Smith (of Moon in Scorpio [1987 / trailer], Merchants of Death [1988 / full movie], Memorial Valley Massacre[1989 / full movie], Grave of the Vampire [1972 / trailer], Uncle Sam (1996), Maniac Cop [1988 / trailer], Rumble Fish [1983 / trailer], Conan, the Barbarian [1982 / trailer], Scorchy [1976 / trailer] and much more) is a soldier of fortune fighting the good fight and falling in love with a native girl. Eventually the two men join forces to take care of Diaz and his soon-to-be dead army."
French Trailer:

Les marines en enfervon stebzh
Savage Cinema rates the movie "100% Weird" and says "The finale of the film is the best": (Spoilers!) "The militia led by [William] Smith enters the army base leading to one of the cheesiest war scenes in all of film history. Garwood saves his former love from the Japanese base when he dresses up like one of the generals and sneaks into the camp. Smith, who secretly has feelings for Garwood's girlfriend, sees her walking away with one of the Japanese soldiers and shoots him on sight. As he runs over he sees that not only was the soldier not one of the Japanese, but that it was his best friend Barry. Then to make matters even worse Maria, Garwood's girlfriend was shot in the midst of the gunfire. Leaving his secret lover and best friend dead at his knees, he looks up in agony only to be gunned down himself. Then after everyone is dead and the base is filled with the blood of many brave soldiers, the hunchback returns to see that his friend Jack is dead, the 'Witch' is dead, and Maria...who he also had a crush on...is dead. Whoa! What an ending!"
Beheading Scene:
Sound exciting? Well, Comeuppance Reviews sees otherwise, saying: "A Taste of Hell is a very slow, boring, and dull turkey of a film. [...] Will Maria be saved? Will Lowell go behind enemy lines and save the day? Who is that freakish dude with the machete? Will you die of utter boredom? Who can tell? [...] It is a total slog, it commits the biggest sin of moviemaking: it is boring. [...] Sadly, A Taste of Hell is a jumble of nonsensical mush. In a bad way. There is too much unfocused talking and love-bits, not enough action or Major Kuramoto, the things that would have saved it. It is unclear who the characters are or what they want. Quickly, the audience does not care either. [...] Additionally, it is insulting to the audience, because the last 5-7 minutes of the film has the action and violence you have been craving. You CANNOT make the audience wade through 80 minutes of NOTHING and then expect them to be happy with a few bullet hits and a guy falling out of a guard tower. [...] It all ends with the onscreen title '...and Satan smiled'. It is as confusing as all that came before it. It really could have used that type of insanity earlier on. Sometimes confusing can be good — the obvious example is Night of the Kickfighters (1988 / trailer) — but here it's not. Avoid A Taste of Hell."
Tribute to
Vic Diaz:
 



The Black Alley Cats
(1973, dir. Henning Schellerup)



"Look how free my breasts are. Touch them."

Trailer:
The second Henning Schellerup "Blaxploitation" flick Novak had his fingers in; this time around there is some cream with the black coffee. Denmark-born director Henning Schellerup (3 Jan 1928 — 12 May 2000) came to the US in 1952, was naturalized in '57, and began working in film in '68 as an assistant cameraman on the David F. Friedman film Thar She Blows (1968). He was primarily active as a cinematographer (of such classics as Black Samson [1974 / trailer], Chesty Anderson U.S. Navy [1976 / excerpt] and everyone's favorite, Planet of the Dinosaurs [1977 / a trailer]), but he also directed an occasional TV movie or super-cheap 42nd Street flotsam like the mostly forgotten Blaxploitation flicks The Black Bunch (1973 / see above), Sweet Jesus, Preacherman (1973 / trailer) and this movie here, The Black Alley Cats. He ended his career doing religious documentaries and Christian films and eventually retired to die in Utah.
NSFW Gangrape Scene from
The Black Alley Cats:
Schellerup's "Blaxploitation" movies tend to have an oddly homemade look to them — see the title card below — and have remained notably (some might say rightfully) obscure.
The Black Alley Cats was written by a possibly pseudonymous "Joseph Drury", whose only other known credits are the scripts to the X-rated neo-noir Night Pleasures (1976) and Schellerup's directorial debut, the possibly lost movie Dr. Carstair's 1869 Love-Root Elixir (1972 / NSFW trailer). According to trashgang, over at imdb, this flick was once thought lost, "Until it came out on VHS in Greece. So I had to hunt down a copy and caught one, English spoken with Greece subtitles. But still it's a hard one to find. [...] The movie takes 81 minutes to watch and let's say 79 minutes of the movie a naked chick is walking around. It was advertised that it would be a revenge movie, but no, it isn't. It's all about having sex in all ways. Sometimes really getting funny. When the raped girls go for revenge they call themselves the Black Alley Cats, walking around in some leather jackets and one girl just have panties on, nothing else underneath. [...] There is no blood at all, even when one of the girls is hit by a bullet. [...] There has been said a lot about this flick, watch it if you can catch it, you really will have a laugh sometimes and you also will notice that it was made pre-AIDS. A typical flick of that era. And remember, be aware of the bushes..."
Of the titular four Black Alley Cats, Pamela (Sunshine Woods), Vivian (Sandy Dempsey), Marsha (Charlene Miles) and Melissa (Johnnie Rhodes), Sandy Dempsey, seen below (not from the film) and who reportedly died in a boating accident in the Gulf of Mexico in 1975, was the only non-one-film-wonder.
The soundtrack was supplied by too-unknown-to-have-ever-been-forgotten Californian Jazz man Jack Millman, who among his copious activities in music also spent a brief period doing soundtracks for semi-porn, porn and bad films, including this one and Schellerup's Dr. Carstair's 1869 Love-Root Elixir and The Black Bunch. Ubiquity says: "Jack Millman, aka Johnny Kitchen, had a hand in many interesting, obscure and highly collectible records from the 1960s and 1970s. Producing, composing, recording, editing, releasing, licensing you name it, Millman did it. The records he touched had an eclectic range from psychedelic rock to Latin jazz, and several include editing techniques that can only be described as an early incarnation of sampling in music. The Victims of Chance, Blues Train, The Crazy People, The Trio of Tyme, The Pros, The Tarots, Jeremiah, and even (Frank Zappa protege) Larry 'Wild Man' Fisher were some of the acts connected to Millman. Based in Los Angeles he was called-upon by multiple people to make tax shelter records, and provided musical content for the Condor, Mira, Mirawood and Crestview labels amongst many others."
Jack Millman presents
The Afro-Soultet's Afrodesia:
But to get back to The Black Alley Cats, Bleeding Skull seems to have liked it, saying: "You can make a successful statement through research, planning, and communication. You can also make a successful statement through bottomless karate. [...] This movie is invincible trash. It is un-fuckable-with. It is vigilante costumes consisting of black leather jackets, no pants, and nylons without panties. It is a soundtrack that is mostly a drum solo. It is social reform in the guise of black boobs being pushed into white faces. It is the rare no-budget 1970s sexploitation movie that encourages expectation, surpasses it, and destroys the need for explanation. [...] The Black Alley Cats falls somewhere between the no-fi production values of Road of Death (1972 / trailer) and the over-the-top sexuality of Deadly Weapons (1974 / see below). But it's spicier and grimier than both of those movies. And even less sensical. It's plotless, shapeless, and without structure, feeling like four reels of highlights without a through-line. [...] The Black Alley Cats is relentlessly entertaining. It's constant nudity, stupidity, and fun-loving pessimism. The dialogue is incredible ('A bunch of fucking gamblers are running number games and such — let's stop 'em!'). Plus, writer Joseph Drury and director Henning Schellerup [...] made an attempt to imbue their sleazy rape-revenge movie with a socially responsible core. They also imbued it with someone saying: 'Look how free my breasts are. Touch them.'"
Trailer to
Deadly Weapons (1974): 

Deadly Weapons (1974) trailervon filmow




The Last Tango in Acapulco
(1973, writ & dir. Carlos Tobalina)
We took a look at auteur Carlos Tobalina, the "Ed Wood of Porn", aka Troy Benny aka Bruce Van Buren aka Jeremiah Schlotter aka Efrain Tobalina, when we took a look at his unspectacular 1987 hardcore hand-helper Pulsating Flesh (full NSFW film) in Part VII of our Harry Reems R.I.P. Career Review. The movie was not a highpoint of Reems' career.
Last Tango in Acapulco, a soap opera — excuse, us: drama — (made anywhere from 1970 to 1975, depending on the website*) is no longer simple exploitation, it is a full-fledged fuck film, though not all scenes are as in close-up detail as others. The Last Tango in Acapulco is available in full NSFW glory, but dubbed in Italian, here at x-hamster.
* As late as May 20, 1976, the X-rated Last Tango in Acapulco was advertised in The Milwaukee Sentinel (page 8, part 1).
TCM reduces the plot to one sentence: "A young woman (Becky Sharpe) who is sexually abused by her father (Keith Erickson) as a child grows up to be a prostitute." A full, scene-for-scene description can be found here at One-Sheet Index— unexpectedly enoughfor a Golden Age porn film, Last Tango in Acapulco has a happy end.
For his write-up on this film in the book The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, which credits the film to Tobalina and Harry Novak, author Jason S. Martinko obviously didn't bother to watch the movie and only writes: "This film is a spoof of Last Tango in Paris starring Marlon Brando.** This is the only film known to feature actress Linda Tobalina. Carlos Tobalina also appears in a non-sex role." (Tobalina often appeared in a variety of non-sex supporting roles in both his own films and those of others, even gaining an AFAA award for Best Supporting Actor in 1976 for his fully dressed appearance in Bob Chill's Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here). Among the working meats in the movie is bisexual lust bucket Bill Cable (2 May 1946 — 7 March 1998), seen above, whose career spanned from Athletic Model Guild to Colt to Playgirl and from gay and straight porn to Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1975 / trailer). He died from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident.
** Great grammar: Martinko basically writes that Marlon Brando stars in Last Tango in Acapulco, not Last Tango in Paris.

Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here 
in 12 minutes:




Please Don't Eat My Mother
(1973, dir. Carl Monson [12 Sept 1932 — 4 Aug 1988])


Trailer:

 Aka Glump, Hungry Pets and Sexpot Swingers. OK, tell the truth: is the concept of a borderline hardcore remake of Roger Corman's Little Shop of Horrors (1960) really all that more obtuse than the concept of a star-studded, full-color musical remake of Little Shop of Horrors (1986 / trailer)? What we really wonder is why Corman didn't sue — or was the original already in public domain in 1973?
Scriptwriter Eric Norden had gotten away with plagiarism before, like when he rewrote African Queen (1951 / trailer) as a low budget western, Charles Marquis Warren's Copper Sky (1957). Director Monson also headed other Novak pies: The Takers (1970) and A Scream in the Streets (1973), among other stuff. The special effects are from Harry Woolman (10 April 1909 — 27 Oct 1996), who also worked on The Incredible Melting Man (1977 / trailer), The Slime People (1963 / trailer), Evilspeak (1981 / trailer) and Dr Black, Mr Hyde (1976).
Trailer to
Dr Black, Mr Hyde (1976):
We call Please Don't Eat My Mother"borderline hardcore" above 'cause, as Johnny La Rue's Crane Shot points out, "Please Don't Don't Eat My Mother falls into that odd strictly-seventies' category of sex film that's too graphic for an R rating, but, lacking penetration shots, is not quite dirty enough to qualify as pornography." But though lacking in penetration, it has other charms: Movies About Girls says "[Director] Monson's trademarks were bright, vivid colors, ugly actors and uglier production design, and awkward sex scenes randomly crow-barred in whenever possible. All of those are in ample evidence in Please Don't Eat My Mother, an absurd soft-core reworking of Roger Corman's infamous three-day wonder Little Shop of Horrors (1960)."
Full Movie —
Roger Corman's Little Shop of Horrors (1960):

Movies About Girls also go on to give us a full bio on the movie's lead man, Buck Kartalian (seen below, in a photo from his website, in top bodybuilding form & after a Brazilian): "Buck was born in Detroit, in 1922. He grew up in New York City and was drafted into the Navy during World War II, where he served on a Destroyer in the Pacific. After the war, Buck became a bodybuilder. He won the Mr. New York contest, and was a Mr America runner-up. Later on he became a professional wrestler, and was a fan favorite on the regional circuit. One day, he tagged along with some actor friends he knew at the gym and blundered into a blind audition. He got the role, and was quickly bitten by the acting bug. Although he is well-known for his low-budget exploitation films, it should be known that Buck has appeared in many high-profile and well-loved films and TV series, including Cool Hand Luke (1967 / trailer), Myra Breckinridge (1970 / trailer), Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972 / trailer), and 70's Saturday morning kid-classic The Monster Squad (1976 / trailer). [...]"
All Movie give the plot to a film they liked: "Rubber-faced goon lead Buck Kartalian is hapless Henry Fudd [...]. Fudd spends his lunch hours happily gnawing sandwiches and getting daily eyefuls of live porn at the local lovers' lane, fueling his sexual frustration and desire for love. The lonely nebbish buys an unwanted plant from a gay florist (Art Hedberg) when he hears it whisper sweet nothings to him in a sexy female voice, bringing it back to the house he shares with his nagging mother (Lynn Lundgren, whose only other known appearance is un-credited as a beautician in Straightjacket [1964 / trailer]). However, this carnivorous plant's demand for food increases as Fudd provides it (her?) with hamburgers, stray dogs, and eventually, mom herself. The flirtatious flora's teasing overcomes Fudd's good sense, and he finds himself abducting various fornicating couples at gunpoint to feed his hungry plant, which has grown to gargantuan proportions and develops an appetite for a mate as well as daily meals. There's plenty of near-hardcore sex to be seen in this no-budget comedy [...], but Please Don't Eat My Mother is fairly balanced between skin and laughs, even if the film doesn't go all the way with either. Kartalian is believable as a dimwitted, middle-aged mama's boy; cult porn starlet Rene Bond (below) is among the victims of the plant's voraciousness; and director Carl Monson can't resist making an appearance as a Peter Falk impersonator ('Officer O'Columbus'). Please Don't Eat My Mother is one of the more peculiar softcore parodies to come out of the early '70s, just strange enough to be worth seeing, even if willful stupidity is its only virtue."
Full Movie —
(1973, dir. Peter Newbrook)

Trailer:
Aka Spirit of the Dead and The Horror of Death and Experiments, it is the only known directorial effort of cinematographer Peter Newbrook (The Black Torment [1964 / trailer], Crucible of Terror [1971 / trailer], Incense for the Damned aka Bloodsuckers [1970 / trailer] and Corruption  [1968]). We were rather surprised to see, over at Mondo Digital, this British film listed as a Novak-fingered movie, as we never knew he had anything to do with it. But indeed, Valiant International Pictures even renewed its US copyright in 1986, according to the US Copyright Office.
In any event, we saw and reviewed this movie way back in 2007. For our full review, go hereor click on the title above.
Among those who die in The Asphyx, by the way, is the character Giles Cunningham, played by Robert Powell of the highly enjoyable Ken Russell movie Mahler (1974). 
Trailer to
Mahler (1974):
 



Dracula's Virgin Lovers
(1973, dir. Javier Aguirre)

 
Aka Dracula's Great Love, Cemetery Girls, The Great Love of Count Dracula and more; original title El gran amor del conde Drácula. One would think that connecting Harry Novak to a Paul Naschy film would be harder than playing "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" with Obama,* but it ain't so, Joe: in 1983, Valiant International Pictures, Inc. (otherwise known as Harry Novak) reapplied for their copyright of the film on the basis of "English dubbed soundtrack: Valiant International Pictures, Inc., employer for hire / New Matter: English dubbed soundtrack added to original motion picture".
*According to the Oracle of Bacon, "Barack Obama has a Kevin Bacon number of infinity"— unless you count TV appearances, and then it's two.
So, obviously enough, Novak may not have been cozy with Naschy, but he was involved ever so distantly with this film directed by Javier Aguirre, a productive Spanish filmmaker who made a total of three films with the great Paul Naschy: this one, El asesino está entre los trece / The Killer Is One of Thirteen (1976) and El jorobado de la Morgue / Hunchback of the Morgue (1973 / see below). Dracula's Virgin Lover is one of those films that tends to divide the few who have seen it, but it did make the short list of the ever-trustworthy Goregirl's "TOP 10 Favourite Horror Films From 1974".
Harry Novak, by the way, has a Bacon number of three (> Machisimo: 40 Grave for 40 Guns [1971] with Bruce Gordon, > Timerider: The Adventure of Lynn Swann [1972 / trailer] with Fred Ward, > Tremors [1990], with Kevin Bacon).
Trailer to
The Hunchback of the Morgue:
The plot, according to Phil Hardy at DB Cult: "The story is set in 1870 and tells of a Mr Wendell (Paul Naschy) who turns out to be the Count and vampirizes a group of travellers who take shelter in a dilapidated nursing home near his castle. In love with one of them (Haydée Politoff of Le regine / Queens of Evil [1970 / see below]), he decides to abstain from the blood, preferring to wait for her consent."
Trailer to
Queens of Evil (1970):
They Shoot Actors Don't They says "It's hard to say what you see more of in Dracula's Great Love, boobs or candelabras. But the combination of the two definitely sets the tone of the film — gloomy, gothic, brimming with forbidden desire. I thought this was going to be a very different kind of movie during the opening credits, which repeat a sequence of a man falling down some stairs in slow motion about 20 times. The sequence became so abstract and near psychedelic by about the 15th repetition that I wondered if the film itself would get all kooky and trippy with ye olde Dracula. In fact, even though there's more sex in this than in the average Hammer film, it otherwise feels quite the same."
The Mark of Naschy tends to agree, sayin that the movie is "played to the perverse hilt by Naschy and bevy of beautiful Euro-actresses under the guidance of one of Naschy's best directors — Javier Acquirre. Acquirre's traveling shots of the forest and mists are beautifully done, and the entire film is steeped in a decayed, sensual atmosphere that is splendidly hallucinogenic in effect, an invocation of an other-worldly existence, separated from the rest of the humanity, where vampirism is an infectious disease that is both welcomed and feared. Somewhat surprising, considering his short stature and pugilistic body shape, Naschy comes across as a strong Dracula, helped by the flavorful doppelganger nature of his role: the mysterious but kind Dr. Wendell, who sets up house at a former sanitarium close to the deceased Count's ancient castle, and the spiritually reincarnated Dracula, a sadistic yet ultimately romantic character of cruel fate. In the later portion of the film, Naschy delights in this evil vampiric role, playing the part with altered, pulled-back hair (or toupee), blackened eyebrows, and minimal but highly effective makeup. The final denouement, which comes, perhaps, a bit too suddenly, is a first for a Dracula movie. A must-see for Naschy fans, as well as all lovers of macabre sensuality."
A Version of the Full Movie @
the Internet Archives:




A Scream in the Streets
(1973, dir Carl Monson) 


"I hate women! You're rotten! Rotten! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
The Rapist (Con Covert)

Aka Girls in the Street and Scream Street, produced and distributed by Harry Novak. Critical Condition explains the plot: "It is mainly a hodge-podge of near-X sex scenes  bumpered by some inane and badly-choreographed police action. A serial killer (Con Covert, 1935 — 1990, of Repo Man [1984 / trailer]) is knifing women at a local park. It is up to to local cops, Ed (Joshua Bryant [credited as John "Kirkpatric"] of The Curious Female [1970 / trailer] and Enter the Devil [1972 / trailer) and Bob (Frank Bannon) to track this psychopath down and arrest him. What they don't know is the killer is dressing up as a woman and walking away from his crimes undetected. It's quite obvious to the viewer that she's a he (it's quite pathetic, actually), but everyone in the film is fooled. The two cops must also deal with a peeping tom (who spies on two lesbians making love); a sicko who beats up his masseuse with his belt and a gang of thugs robbing a store. All of the action scenes (they are few and far in between) are lazily shot and one car chase scene has to be seen to be believed. The main selling point to this film are the sex scenes. [...] They are of the near-X quality (a Harry Novak specialty), showcasing both male and female full frontal nudity with a pre-disposed penchant for oral sex. I dare you not to laugh at the peeping tom as he slobbers watching the lesbians go at it. I double dare you not to laugh as one of the lesbians spots the peeping tom and make a phone call to the police while the other lesbian continues performing oral sex on her!! [...] If this synopsis make you want to run out and rent or buy this thing, be forwarned: It's boring as hell and seems twice as long than it really is."
The Temple of Schlock, which calls the movie "one of the most anti-cop movies I've seen in ages" disagrees about the last bit: "Well, it certainly looks as if shot on a low budget with a Kodak Brownie, although most of the acting is more acceptable than usual for this kind of thing. And it is fun in a weird way. The film may not be great art, and much of it looks put together by sick but harmless minds; it's a sleazeaholic's must-see, and at times, one can't help but wonder if anybody intended it to be taken seriously. It does exude raw energy, and I absolutely dare you to call it boring."
NSFW Trailer to
A Scream in the Streets:




The Sinful Dwarf
(1973, dir. Vidal Raski)

"I have more toys... upstairs!"
The Dwarf (Torben Bille)
 
Released in a variety of versions, including one with hardcore inserts; the truncated version originally released by Harry Novak in the US went by the title Abducted Bride. Either everyone was working under pseudonyms, or director Vidal Raski and writers Harlan Asquith (screenplay) and William Mayo (story) never made another movie — to which some out there would probably say "They made one too many."As 2,500 Movies Challenge says, "Now here's an odd, disturbing bit of euro-sleaze for you, a Danish exploitation film, shot in England with an all-English cast, that'll have your eyes popping out of their sockets. That is, if you can keep them glued to the screen long enough, and believe me when I tell you, the urge to look way while watching The Sinful Dwarf is a strong one!"
Severin has recently re-released the movie: "Severin Films is officially going to Hell — and taking you with them — with the first time ever in America DVD release of what may be the sleaziest film in EuroCult history: Diminutive former kiddie-show host Torben Bille [...] stars as the pint-sized pervert [...] in this towering achievement in graphic depravity, now fully restored from a 35mm print discovered hidden in a janitor's closet at the Danish Film Institute!" (The odd things that the Danes keep in their closets.)
Opening Credits:
Critical Condition— which says "This sleazy bit of exploitation is really rough stuff. You can actually feel yourself getting dirty as you are viewing it"— explains the plot, more or less: "This sick, sadistic Danish production could never be made in today's politically correct climate. It treats women like dirt, contains brutal torture scenes and is definitely not for the faint of heart. In other words, I loved it! Peter and Mary (Tony Eades & Anne Sparrow), a down on their luck couple, rent a cheap room on the top floor of a converted nightclub run by the sadistic Lila Lash (Clara Keller) and her deformed midget son Olaf (Torben [31 Oct 1945 — 22 July 1993, also found somewhere in the Danish sex comedy Agent 69 Jensen – I Skyttens tegn (1978 / full NSFW film)], who is a sight to behold). Lila and Olaf run a prostitution ring in the attic, where kidnapped girls are kept in check with unhealthy doses of heroin and nightly beatings. Mary notices a wide variety of faceless men entering the attic at all hours of the day and night and becomes suspicious. When she tells Tony what she has seen, he tells her to mind her own business because he is more worried about finding a job than losing the only place they can afford to stay. Lila and Olaf set their sights on adding Mary to their stable but first must figure out a way to get Tony out of the picture. Lila sets Tony up with a job in a toy shop run by a fat slob named Santa Claus (Werner Hedman, 6 April 1926 — 26 July 2005, the director of Agent 69 Jensen – I Skyttens tegn), which is actually a front for a heroin smuggling ring. Santa sends Tony (who is unaware of the illegal activities) to France, giving Lila and Olaf the chance to kidnap Mary. They leave a note in the room in which Mary tells Tony that she is leaving him. Meanwhile, Mary is chained naked in the attic, shot full of heroin and vaginally penetrated with the handle of Olaf's cane. She is then raped by one of Lila's customers. Tony returns from France and finds the note. Feeling dejected, he goes back to the toy shop to work off his worries. While working in the basement, he overhears Santa and Olaf talking about the heroin and prostitute operations...."
Trailer:

To be continued ... next month.

Short Film: Tea Time (USA, 2007)

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Here's an effective little short film that we find a wonderful example of making something with (virtually) nothing. Tea Time tells the tale of an elderly woman preparing some tea for herself and her husband...
Tea Time was originally made for an annual Los Angeles film event called "Attack of the 50 Ft. Reels" in which all participants shoot an entire story on one roll of Super-8 film and then turn in the unprocessed footage and a separately prepared soundtrack. So, in other words, the film is shot in order and edited in the camera itself.
The elderly lady is played by Regina Mocey, who has also appeared in small parts in a couple of independent movies, including Kill House (2006 / trailer). She does pretty well in Tea Time considering there was no opportunity for re-shoots. (You find her blog here.) The husband is played by Gary-7, who can also be found somewhere in films as varied as Zombie Night (2013 / trailer) and The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi(2009 / trailer). The sparse but highly effective music was composed by Sukho Lee, who later directed this dull music videousing the same concept: Super-8, shot in order and edited in camera.
The director and, one assumes, writer of the short movie is Erik Deutschman, seen here to the left. We could not find much current information about him, but in 2001 he was among those chosen by filmmaker magazineto feature in their article "25 New Faces of Independent Film". Since then he seems to have flown mostly under the radar.
Still, what Deutschman says in the article explains why Tea Time works so well: "I like to use old-school techniques, like in-camera multiple exposures, exposing directly on the negative, optical illusions and stop-motion animation." Deutschman's most successful short film to date, in regard to public response in any event, seems to be Split(1999 / full short), which no one less than Clive Barker calls "an exceptional movie, a startling original vision". We here at A Wasted Life, however, prefer the less-arty no-budget horrors of Tea Time.

Robo Geisha (Japan, 2009)

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(Spoilers.) We came to this movie via its mondo trailer and our enjoyment of such of such great Nippon pop exploiters as Meatball Machine(2005), Tokyo Gore Police (2008) and Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl(2009). Little did we realize that the director and scriptwriter, Noboru Iguchi, is the same man as behind Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011 / trailer), one of the Japanese exploiters that we found so stupid and cheap that we never bothered to review it, and the even cheaper and pixilated sci-fi porn horror video Final Pussy (2005), which we found mildly interesting in a Hardgore(1976 / scene) kind of way but not worth watching to the end (if only due to the pixilation and the fact that it was in Japanese without subtitles, and we like to understand the dialogue of the gore-drenched, mondo fuck films we watch).
Robo Geisha is without a doubt the best of three Noboru Iguchi movies we've seen to date — a statement which really isn't a complement — and it is good for a number of laughs, but it's also nevertheless occasionally yawn-inducing, overtly cheap-looking and, at 101 minutes, also overstays its welcome. Yes, it's a wild and wacky concept and also has a mostly wild and wacky execution, but it's also extremely lackadaisical in the script and special effects department, defects that take an overhand and severely hamper one's enjoyment of the movie.
The movie opens promisingly enough, with an entertaining scene of an attempted assassination of a politician being entertained by a geisha: his entertainment turns out to be a robot that develops a circular saw for a mouth and tries to behead him while his bodyguards are wiped out by two samurai-wielding women dressed in black skimpies and wearing tengu-inspired phallic masks (ala those in Clockwork Orange [1971 / trailer]) who shoot shuriken stars from their butt and acid milk from their breasts. The politician, however, is saved in the nick of time by the titular Robo Geisha (Aya Kiguchi, seen further below [not from the movie], of Fear & Loathing & Lulu & Ayano [2010 / trailer]).
The opening is perhaps one of the strongest scenes of the movie, and it ends up serving the function of allowing Robo Geisha to tell her creation story as one long flashback — a story that ends (SPOILER!) not only with her death, but also with the destruction and dismantling of the entire robo-geisha army and the deadly, samurai-wielding, tengu-masked female duo. Hello? If she's dead and doing geisha dances in heaven with her sister, and the geisha army no longer exists, how can she show up to stop killers that are no longer around?
Aya Kiguchi says "Come Hither."
OK, perhaps a logical narrative is a bit too much to expect from a movie about robo-geishas and that features — aside from circular-saw mouths and shuriken-star-shooting butts — machine-gun boobs; swords popping out of mouths, butts and armpits; "schoolgirls" fighting robot samurai; a building that that transforms into a giant robot and stomps through Tokyo like Godzilla; a geisha that transforms into a super-fast tank capable of driving along building walls; and dozens of other crazy ideas. Indeed, Robo Geisha has more crazy ideas than most stoners have in a month of toking, but, hell, we do like our beginnings and endings to match and view such narrative sloppiness as disrespectful of the viewer and the movie itself. If the makers don't give a shit, why should we?
This sloppiness is also evident in the special effects created by Yoshihiro Nishimura, "the Tom Savini of Japan", the man responsible for the gore excesses of the above-mentioned gore masterpieces Meatball Machine, Tokyo Gore Police and Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl. Unlike in those movies, however, in Robo Geisha the effects often have an overtly K-Mart quality to them, and while the constant obvious cheapness might be mildly funny at first, it also quickly wears thin. (Tom Savini would not be proud of them.) Concepts that might be funny in themselves — such as houses spraying geysers of blood whenever they are knocked down by a giant robot — fail to ignite visually or humorously due to the previously mentioned cheapness of the CGI, and this recurrent flaw causes many hilarious concepts to fail due in the repetitiveness of the obvious shoddiness of their execution.
Furthermore, for all the visual and conceptual craziness, Robo Geisha also often seems oddly slow and drawn-out, especially when it spends time on the sibling relationship between Robo Geisha 1 and her abusive sister Kikue (Hitomi Hasebe), not to mention all Robo Geisha 1's belly-button gazing before and after becoming a killing machine, and the whole bit about the army of geriatrics looking for their children. Robo Geishaalso sometimes seems as if it is actually trying to convey some sort of message, some sort of theme, and its attempts to do so lessens the effectiveness and sincerity of the movie by diluting the true reason it is there: to be a funny, over-the-top slice of contemporary pop trashiness.
All complaints now aired, our final judgement of the movie is that yes, it has a ton of flaws and the flaws seriously detract from the movie. Still, unlike Noboru Iguchi's abysmal Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead, it is not a total waste of time and is mildly enjoyable at times. Nevertheless, there are enough better examples of Japanese power-pop gore (both funny and serious) out there, so why consciously watch a lesser vehicle? Watch and enjoy the trailer — it doesn't have any of the dry stretches of the movie — and then go for a better-made example of the genre instead. But if Robo Geisha is all you have at hand, keep your expectations low and you'll probably enjoy it.

R.I.P.: Joachim Fuchsberger, Part III: 1966-2007

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The German-Australian actor seen in numerous fun Edgar Wallace movies and krimis and more. He always got the girl. In the English-speaking world, he was sometimes credited as Akim Berg or Berger.


Go here for Part I: 1953-1960
Go here for Part II: 1961-65




Wer kennt Johnny R.?
(1966, dir. José Luis Madrid)
Aka La Balada De Johnny Ringo, 5000 $ für den Kopf von Johnny R. and Who Killed Johnny Ringo— the name "Johnny Ringo" being that of one the more famous if tertiary badmen of the wild west, John Peters Ringo (3 May 1850 — 13 July 1882). Among the many films, books, comics and other stuff his legend inspired is Lorne Greene's historically inaccurate country hit single, Ringo.
Lorne Greens sings Ringo in French:
Joachim Fuchsberger makes his second appearance in the wild west, playing second string to the child molester Lex Barker in this sauerkraut western directed in Spain for the German producer Artur "Tax Evasion" Brauner by Spaniard José Luis Madrid, the director of the Paul Naschy flick 7 Murders for Scotland Yard (1971 / groovy soundtrack) and Los crímenes de Petiot (1973 / scene) and The Horrible Sexy Vampire (1970 / trailer), amongst other fine cheese.
with Scenes from Wer kennt Johnny R.?
Spaghetti Western Net explains the plot: "Johnny Ringo is the mysterious leader of a gang terrorizing the region. His fiancée Bea (Marianne Koch of Coast of Skeletons [1965]) is the only one who has ever seen his face. One day the sheriff (Isidro Novellas) of a small western town thinks he has him cornered, but Johnny and his men take refuge in the ranch of an ex-army colonel, Jason Conroy (Sieghardt Rupp of Mädchen für die Mambo-Bar [1959]). The ranch is set ablaze and all people inside, including the Colonel's wife and children, die in the fire. Johnny Ringo is supposed to have perished in the fire too, but Colonel Conroy thinks he has escaped. One day Conroy receives a letter from the troubadour Monroe (Ralf Wolter of Dracula Blows His Cool [1979 / scene]), who tells him the villain is working as a marksman named Clyde Smith (Joachim Fuchsberger) for a travelling arms dealer."
While It Lasts —
The Full Movie, but Not in English:
SWN finds the movie disjointed and without rhythm, and goes on to say: "In spite of the presence of Lex Barker and Ralf Wolter [...] we're far removed from the romanticized world of Karl May, but there's no real spaghetti western atmosphere either. [...] Apart from the rather gruesome opening and the final shootout, there's not much western action. [...] Wer kennt Johnny Ringo? is uneven and far from great, but still has its moments. It was nicely shot on various locations in the North-East of Spain, among them the famous mountain range near Montserrat. [...] The film has a fine cast, with Marianne Koch (the eternal beauty of the Sauerkraut western) and Sieghardt Rupp both fresh from A Fistful of Dollars (1964 / trailer below), but I think the movie would've worked better if Fuchsberger and Barker had swapped roles. Fuchberger isn't a bad actor, but he doesn't fit the western genre very well and wasn't in the best physical form while making this movie. As a result, some of the action scenes look very poor. At the same time, Barker's role as the shady salesman is too passive."

Trailer to a Much Better Western —
A Fistful of Dollars (1964): 




Siebzehn Jahr, blondes Haar
(1966, dir. Franco Montemurro)
The Italian Franco Montemurro (1 Nov 1920 — 1992) was primarily active as a second unit director and only made five films of his own, of which this one, an Italo-German music film, is the second. Literally translated, the title would be "17 Years [Old], Blonde Hair", but when it was finally released in the English-speaking world in 1968, it was entitled Crazy Baby and/or The Battle of the Mods, the latter which is a literal translation of the Italian title, La battaglia dei mods. 
 
First 13 Minutes:
TCM has the plot: "Ricky Fuller (Ricky Shayne), a 20-year-old Liverpool guitar-player and member of the Mods, takes part in a gang war against the Rockers. His girlfriend is killed in the fracas, and Ricky flees with the police in pursuit. He travels from London to Paris and Genoa and finally to Rome, where he seeks out his father, Robert (Joachim Fuchsberger), an oil tycoon. The meeting does nothing to bridge the gap between Ricky and his father, who is planning a second marriage to Sonia (Elga Andersen, 2 Feb 1935 — 7 Dec 1994, of Un omicidio perfetto a termine di legge [1971 / soundtrack], Django — schwarzer Gott des Todes aka Starbuck [1968 / German trailer] and Ein Sarg aus Hongkong [1964 / German trailer]), a member of Italian high society. Sonia attempts to seduce Ricky, and the rivalry between father and son eventually drives Ricky from the comfortable surroundings of Robert's house. He becomes involved in the decadent life of young performers in Rome, meanwhile falling in love with Martine (Eleonora Brown of Two Women [1960 / full movie], Fifteen Scaffolds for the Killer aka 15 forche per un assassino (1967 / trailer) and Sieben Jungfrauen für den Teufel (1968 / German trailer]), Sonia's sister. Finally, Ricky succeeds in escaping with Martine from the morass of decadence in which they have been engulfed."
Udo Jürgens sings the Title Track —
Siebzehn Jahr, blondes Haar:
The movie made the French singer Ricky Shayne, born George Albert Tabett, a pop star in Germany for awhile, but nowadays he resides deep in the corner known as "Whateverhappenedto?"
Ricky Shayne sings No No No No
(from The Battle of the Mods):
 



Lange Beine — lange Finger
(1966, dir. Alfred Vohrer)
Aka Long Legs, Long Fingers. Alfred Vohrer was a very productive director who usually averaged 2 to 3 films a year; he made this one the same year as Winnetou und sein Freund Old Firehand (1966 / German trailer) and Der Bucklige von Soho (1966 / German trailer) for producers Artur Brauner & Götz Dieter Wulf, the team that also brought you Russ Meyer's Fanny Hill (1964 / trailer).
 
Trailer to
Russ Meyer's Fanny Hill (1964):

Kinowelt has an English-language plot description: "Baron Holberg (Martin Held) and his extremely attractive daughter Dodo (Senta Berger, of Sherlock Holmes & das Halsband des Todes [1962]) lead a real jet-set life of luxury. However, they don't exactly earn the small change necessary for this rather costly lifestyle in a very honorable manner. Dodo is a skilled pickpocket while her beloved father has the best connections to the people who fence stolen diamonds. This puts them in the money... Baron Holberg therefore sets great value on solidifying the good business contacts to Mr. Snapper (Zeev Berlinsky), the most important diamond fence, with a family bond, which is the reason why Dodo should marry Mr. Snapper's son (Walter Wilz of Carmen Baby [1967 / trailer below]). But she falls in love with the renowned London lawyer, Robert Hammond (Joachim Fuchsberger), and wants to put her criminal past behind her as fast as possible. In order to sabotage her date with Lawyer Hammond, Daddy Holberg must stoop to trickery..."
Trailer to
Radley Metzger's Carmen Baby (1967):
To loosely translate the opinion of Kino Tagebuch: "Between his numerous Edgar Wallace variations, Alfred Vohrer pushed out this terribly well-behaved, unimaginative love and thievery comedy which not unskillfully simulates international flair, shady laissez-faire and satirical insubordination. But the playful ensemble, an André Courrèges-esque costume design and the realization that the honest have surpassed the dishonest because they have learned to be dishonest honestly cannot transform the conventionally hearted boldness of a stuffy boulevard play into a biting social persiflage."
While It Lasts —
The Full Film in German:
 



Bel Ami 2000
oder Wie verführt man einen Playboy?
(1966, dir. Michael Pfleghar)
From the movie —
Bel Ami a Go Go:
Fuchsberger takes some time off to play a tertiary role in a Peter Alexander flick aka How to Seduce a Playboy. Director Michael Pfleghar, who killed himself on 23 June 1991, was a TV director who over the course of his career made a grand total of three theatrically released movies, this one, Serenade für zwei Spione / Serenade for Two Spies (1965), and Die Tote von Beverly Hills (1964), the last which we looked at briefly at our R.I.P. Career Review of Walter Giller. Bel Ami 2000 is based on a novel of the same name by Anatol Bratt who, coincidentally, that same year wrote the screenplay to the guilty pleasure Wie tötet man eine Dame? aka How to Kill a Lady aka Target for a Killing (1966 / see below). This Peter Alexander movie here, actually, also verges on being a guilty pleasure...
Credit Sequence to
Target for a Killing:
TCM knows the plot: "A giant computer used by the editors of the internationally famous men's magazine Bel Ami to select their 'Playboy of the Year' spits out the name of Peter Keller (Peter Alexander), a bespectacled young accountant. Although the computer has obviously erred, senior reporter Boy Schock (Renato Salvatori of Burn! [1969 / trailer]) suggests that the magazine transform Keller into a public heart-throb and thus spare itself unfavorable publicity. Schock and Keller leave for a tour, during which the mild young man will be photographed with beautiful women around the world. Meanwhile, Vera (Antonella Lualdi), a rival reporter, learns of the computer's blunder and follows the pair to Paris in order to expose the fraud. En route, Keller is harassed by a number of women, all of whom compete for his renowned romantic attentions. Schock takes Keller to Tokyo, where the 'playboy', mistaken for U. S. Navy aquanaut Frank Peppiat, is forced to test a new underwater rocket. His supersonic voyage ends in Rome, where he is captivated by film star Anita Biondo (Scilla Gabel of Mill of the Stone Women [1960 / trailer], Colossus of the Arena [1962 / full movie] and Modesty Blaise [1966 / trailer]), who converts him into the dashing lover described by the magazine's publicity writers. When Vera finally catches up with the pair, she learns of Anita's passion for Keller and decides that perhaps his selection as 'Playboy of the Year' was not a hoax. Vera finally lands her man, though she loses her story in the process."
Over at imdb, jan onderwater of Amsterdam calls the movie "embarrassing" and says: "This is not only one of the endless 60's German/Austrian so-called comedies you feel ashamed watching, and after 30 years it must be an embarrassment for those involved as this one is also very badly made. TV director Pfleghar [...] shows no affinity with filmmaking; he inserts tricks that may be good enough for TV, but not for cinema."




Mister Dynamit —
morgen küßt Euch der Tod
(1967, dir. Franz Josef Gottlieb)
Opening Scene:

Aka Die Slowly, You'll Enjoy It More and Spy Today, Die Tomorrow. Fuchsberger makes a cameo appearance as an army MP in this Italo-German spy flick starring the child-molesting Lex Barker. Fuchsberger spends less time on screen than we took to write this entry on the movie.
This movie is one of three films, as far as we know, based on the writing of the Teutonic pulp scribe "C.H. Guenter" (24 March 1924 — 5 June 2005) aka "Bert F. Island" and "Joe Amsterdam" and who-knows-what-else — real name: Karl-Heinz Günther — an author hardly known in his homeland and definitely unknown outside, as it seems that little to none of his work has been translated into other languages. He created the once extremely popular German pulp-fiction figure Joe Walker, a NY-based private eye better known as "Kommissar X". There were a good half dozen Italo-German Kommissar X movies made between 1966 (Kommissar X — Jagd auf Unbekannt [German trailer]) and 1971 (Kommissar X jagt die roten Tiger [German trailer]), all starring Tony Kendall and the hunkadelic Brad Harris (of The Mutations [1973 / see below]), plus a couple of TV series; however, only two of the entries in the movie series, Kommissar X — Drei gelbe Katzen (1966 / German trailer) and Kommissar X — Drei grüne Hunde (1967 / German trailer), are based on books written by C.H. Guenter before he gave up the series to other authors.
Trailer to
The Mutations aka The Freakmaker (1973),
with Brad Harris:
In 1965, C.H. Guenter created a new pulp series built around the BND (German Federal Intelligence Agency) agent named Robert (Bob) Urban, alias "Mister Dynamit" (German spelling). Gottlieb's movie, Mister Dynamit — morgen küßt Euch der Tod, the title of which means "Mister Dynamite — Death Will Kiss You Tomorrow", is based on the same-named Pabel Pocket Novel No. 212, the very first Mister Dynamit pulp novel ever. (It is not in any way inspired by the forgotten 1935 Universal movie Mister Dynamite, which is based on a Dashiell Hammett short story.) Mister Dynamit — morgen küßt Euch der Tod was planned to be the first of a movie series ala Jerry Cotton, Dr Mabuse, Kommissar X, etc., etc., but after Lex Barker had to sue to get paid he dropped the project and it never got picked up again.
Flick Facts has the plot: "Millionaire Baretti (Amedeo Nazzari) pays a gang to rob an atomic bomb from an American silo, and then blackmails the USA Government for a huge amount of money. German secret service (BND) agent 'Dynamite' (Lex "I Want Candy" Barker) will use his fists, guns and more in a violent bomb chase. In the end, Barelli's accomplices are dead or arrested, but he escapes unmolested, while Mr. Dynamite spends time in a Mediterranean resort with a lovely woman (Maria Perschy [23 Sept 1938 — 3 Dec 2004] of The Ghost Galleon [1974 / trailer], The People Who Own the Dark [1976 / trailer] and Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll [1974 / trailer])."
Over at imdb, gridoon2014 is of the opinion that "The title [...] (Spy Today, Die Tomorrow) is much better than the movie itself. Lex Barker plays a CIA agent whose only distinguishing characteristic seems to be the fact that he's a ventriloquist! He is assigned to stop a villain whose only distinguishing characteristic seems to be the fact that he enjoys playing around with model trains. Oh, he also has stolen an atomic bomb and he threatens to drop it somewhere in the USA if they don't pay him one billion dollars. Sounds kind of similar to Thunderball (1965 / trailer), and the film does boast OK production values and a good music score, but it's overlong and not too strong on coherence, either. The women have limited roles (as does, surprisingly, third-billed Brad Harris), which is probably another reason why I found this one often boring, which is the last thing a Eurospy entry should be."
German trailer to
Mr Dynamit:
 



Feuer frei auf Frankie
(1967, dir. José Antonio de la Loma)
 
The Spanish director and author and screenwriter José Antonio de la Loma (4 March 1924 — 6 April 2004) was active in both serious and genre projects; Feuer frei auf Frankie (aka Target Frankie and Playboy to Kill) belongs to the latter. Fuchsberger plays the title character, Frankie Bargher, as well as Frankie's older brother, Dr Werner Bargher. Here in Europe, at least, the forgotten movie was recently re-released on DVD.

Fan-made trailer to
Feuer frei auf Frankie:
The Kiss Kiss Kill Kill Archive says: "Kicking off with a fun pop art cut-out animation sequence, the film zips along with a jolly Piero Umiliani score. Professor Peers (Charles Fawcett of The Witch's Curse [1962 / trailer] and I vampiri [1957 / full movie] and Capitan Sindbad [1963 / trailer]) is killed and his assistant Dr Werner Bargher (Fuchsberger) is wounded by an international organisation 'Rainbow'. CIA agents Maud Taylor (Erica Blanc) and Kaiser (Eddi Arent) are sent to find his playboy brother to impersonate him. Fuchsberger is to be found on the sky slopes of Switzerland. By employing him they can draw out the enemy whilst protecting his brother. [...] Fuchsberger has to fend off assassination attempts not to mention sultry Elena (Rosealba Neri) and her red sports car. There is plenty of action: double crossing, helicopter pursuits, kidnapping, gas, machine guns and visionary science. (Chinese scientists include E=MC2 in their calculus to work out the Peers formula.) Feuer frei auf Frankie is a worthwhile and overlooked Eurospy entry that has an upbeat feel and plenty to enjoy. 6/10"

The German-language website Splash Movies seems to disagree with KKKKA's verdict of the film, saying: "The story of a formula for a revolutionary fuel is far from innovative. The object of desire is, as Alfred Hitchcock would've said, merely a MacGuffin that is arbitrarily interchangeable and is only needed to set the action in motion. The rest of the story doesn't look any different. Sonny boy Frankie stumbles from one gangster attack to the next, frees himself, and then flirts a bit with the ladies. In-between, there's some deliberate confusion backstage that's hardly worth talking about, and the suspense actually gets in the way. Individual scenes are certainly entertaining, but the movie is simply too slack to be solidly entertaining."

Trailer for a TV broadcast of
Feuer frei auf Frankie:
Although we haven't seen Feuer frei auf Frankie, we find it hard to believe that a movie that has Erica Blanc (of Kill Baby Kill [1966 / trailer], The Devil's Nightmare [1971 / trailer], The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave [1971 / Italo trailer], Mark of the Devil II [1973 / trailer] and A Dragonfly for Each Corpse (1974 / Spanish TV trailer]) and Rosealba Neri (of Lady Frankenstein [1971], The Beast Kills in Cold Blood [1971 / trailer], The French Sex Murders [1972 / German trailer], Full Moon of the Virgins* [1973 / Italo trailer], L'amante del demonio [1972 / title melody] and the José Ramón Larraz movie La muerte incierta [1973 / trailer]) as the two female leads can be all that bad...

* This film (Full Moon of the Virgins) and Django's Cut Price Corpses (1971 / trailer), are supposedly re-edits — with new scenes added — of the "lost" trash film Django Vampire Hunter (1970 / trailer), all films credited to the dead and under-appreciated Italo Z-film auteur and "hack-of-all-trades" Luigi Batzella (27 May 1924 — 18 Nov 2008)... and we have a bridge to sell you.



Der Mönch mit der Peitsche
(1967, dir. Alfred Vohrer)
Aka The Monk with the Whip and The College-Girl Murders. Three years after Alfred Vohrer's B&W Der Hexer, Fuchsberger finally does another Wallace film, the 27th of the series, which was at that point in the full flower of its pop-colored Baroque persiflage phase. Gone were all traces of Expressionism and any true horror, and the Italo-sleaze of the last films had yet to raise its head. And just like Vohrer's Der Gorilla von Soho (trailer), which was to follow a year later in 1968, was a remake of Vohrer's 1966 Wallace Der Bücklige von Soho (trailer), Der Mönch mit der Peitsche is a "re-envisioning" of Harald Reinl's 1965 B&W Wallace Der Unheimliche Mönch (trailer). We have a review of this movie on the back burner — we weren't exactly thrilled by it — but for now, let's look what other people have to say about it.

German trailer:
DVD Verdict says: "[...] This genre-blending slice of European cheese [...] promises a lot of ghoulish thrills dressed up in late '60s kitsch. [...] There's not much to recommend here for horror fans. Sure, the red monk is an appropriately ghoulish fiend; but this is really more of a quirky detective story than a horror film. The two detectives get the most screen time, and a lot of their deducing is played for laughs. [...] Viewers going into this film expecting suspense will be surprised to see so much screen time devoted to two clowns and their verbal slapstick. The movie might be lacking in story and acting, but it has great production design. [...] Also worth noting is the '60s era horns-and-bongos-centric score, which will really get your toes tapping. [...] As a relic of another time, this one can't be beat. A lot of fans have compared it to campy classics such as the Adam West Batman, or the '60s spy capers such as Our Man Flint (1966 / trailer). Fans of that era, and that style, will probably find a few laughs here. But for the rest of us, the bad far outweighs the good."
Trailer to
Starring Adam West (2014):
The blogspot Watching the Detectives totally hates the flick, which perhaps explains the brevity of their plot description: "The students and staff are dropping like flies at an all-girl's college: They are being gassed with an unusual poison and having their necks snapped by a mysterious, whip-wielding figure in a red cloak and hood. Will brilliant sleuth Inspector Higgins (Fuchsburger) find the connection between the killings and find the murderers before so many of the characters are killed there won't be a mystery left?"

Both Der Mönch mit der Peitsche and 1965's Der Unheimliche Mönch, by the way, were inspired (based on?) Edgar Wallace's novel The Terror, from 1929, which in turn was based on an earlier play of his; the novel was released a year after director Roy del Ruth made the first film version of the "gothic" thriller in 1928, likewise entitled The Terror, which according to Denis Gifford's Pictorial History of Horror Movies, as the second full-length talkie ever made, is also the first sound horror film ever made. A commercial success — and, according to Gifford, an artistic one, too — del Ruth's now-lost version of The Terror inspired two later remakes: Howard Bretherton's criminal comedy The Return of the Terror (1934), a sequel of sorts starring Mary Astor and Lyle Talbot (and featuring J. Carroll Naish) which, while not lost has yet to make it off the shelves of the Library of Congress, and the far more serious (and true to its source) British production directed by Richard Bird four years later, again entitled simply The Terror.

Full Movie —
Richard Bird's The Terror (1938):

Der Mönch mit der Peitsche was the last Wallace film that the great Martin Böttcher was to score. 



(1968, dir. Alfred Vohrer)
English Trailer:

Based on the Wallace novel The Hand of Power. In 1968, the year after Der Mönch mit der Peitsche, Alfred Vohrer assembly-lined three complete Edgar Wallace movies, the ridiculous Der Gorilla von Soho aka The Gorilla Gang (German trailer), the entertaining if childish Der Hund von Blackwood Castle aka The Horror of Blackwood Castle (German trailer), and this movie here, Im Banne des Unheimlichen aka The Hand of Power aka The Zombie Walks. Fuchsburger returns as Inspektor Higgins in Im Banne des Unheimlichen, but Sir John (Siegfried Schürenberg), who producer Horst Wendlandt jettisoned because he asked for a pay raise, was replaced by a new head of Scotland Yard, the queeny but — like Sir John — emphatically heterosexual Sir Author (Hubert "Hubsi" von Meyerinck, rather gay in real life); Sir Author lasted 3 Wallace movies (von Meyerinck, however, actually appeared in 5 Wallace movies in total).
German Trailer:
For our opinion of the movie, read our review found here.

To loosely translate the plot description as given at and by Rialto Film: "At the funeral for Sir Oliver, the ghastly laughter of the dead man resounds from the coffin. Peggy Ward (Siv Mattson) — a reporter — writes about and continues investigating the incident. Then, those belonging to the immediate circle of the dead Sir Oliver begin dying mysterious deaths — indeed, Sir Oliver's brother, Sir Cecil (Wolfgang Kieling), believes that Sir Oliver's ghost is out to get him. But Inspector Higgins (Fuchsberger) does not believe in ghosts. Together with the reporter Peggy, he sets out to unravel the mystery of the laughing corpse."

Trash Film Addict is of the opinion "The Hand of Power is set in that fabled '60s universe where cars are always driven at top speed with much swerving, men in turtleneck jumpers have lots of oil in their hair, women are all gorgeous, submissive bimbos and fall prey to clumsy killers readily and everyone — especially doctors — lights up using those enormous lighters. Ultimately I cannot say I loved The Hand of Power. It was too talky, too conventional and just too lightweight. There were some nice stylistic flourishes, including the trippy opening credits animation sequence, some atmospheric scenes and a kitschy killer wearing a black cape, fedora and an oversized skull mask. There's fun to be had with this movie, just don't expect it to ever take itself seriously."

The relatively untalented Swede playing Peggy, Siv Mattson, went on to have minor parts in two Swedish exploiters, One Swedish Summer (1968 / trailer below) and Eva: Swedish and Underage (1969) and then disappeared.
Trailer to
One Swedish Summer (1968):

Som havets nakna vind (1968) US TRAILERvon klubbsuper8
 



Himmelfahrtskommando El Alamein
(1968, dir. Armando Crispino)
In this Italo war film, Fuchsburger — listed last on the opening credits, even after Götz George, as "Akim Berg"— plays the "Good Nazi" of the movie, Oberleutnant Heitzel Agen (aka Professor); he'd rather be teaching than killing, but duty is duty. Aka Commandoes and Sullivan's Marauders, the movie is supposedly based on a short story by Menahem Golan (!) and Dario Argento is one of the four credited scriptwriters.
As is director Armando Crispino (18 Oct 1924 — 6 Oct 2003), an unjustly forgotten director of limited output who is remembered today — if at all — by cult film fans for his horror movies The Dead Are Alive (1972 / trailer) and Autopsy (1975 / trailer) as well as his violent western John the Bastard (1967), his nunsploitation entry, The Castro's Abbess La badessa di Castro (1974 / film), and the totally obscure comic sexploitation horror movie, Frankenstein all'italiana (1975 / scene).
Full Public Domain Movie —
Commandoes:
The Ace Black Blog, which doesn't like the movie but nevertheless says "Commandos does find a unique and memorable ending, a quiet anti-war moment forcing reflection on the wastes of war", explains the plot: "Sergeant Sullivan (Lee Van Cleef) is in charge of an American commando unit, tasked with parachuting into North Africa to seize and hold a strategic water supply site at a desert oasis. Sullivan and his men are to eliminate the Italian squad defending the well, and fool the nearby German units until the full American invasion force arrives to relieve the pressure. Sullivan immediately clashes with Captain Valli (Jack Kelly of She Devil [1957 / trailer] and Cult of the Cobra [1955 / trailer]), an inexperienced officer assigned to lead the operation. [...] The North Africa mission initially unfolds relatively smoothly, except that Valli refuses to kill all the Italian defenders, taking some as prisoners instead. The ruse to convince the Germans that all is well at the oasis hits some rough spots when a German engineering unit makes an unexpected appearance at the well, and the mission ultimately begins to unravel when the Italian prisoners take the initiative."

Eccentric Cinema, on the other hand, is of the opinion that "Commandos is an interesting, above-average example of the Italian 'Macaroni Combat' genre. Don't expect any lighthearted moments of humor as in Inglorious Bastards (1978 / trailer) — it's an uncompromisingly grim, downbeat affair. War is anything but an adventure in this film, a reflection of not just the Vietnam era in which it was made but also one a little bit closer to reality." 



Sieben Tage Frist
(1969, dir. Alfred Vohrer)
The movie can be watched in English at horrorinc.com.
Alfred Vohrer promptly followed up his last Edgar Wallace movie, Der Mann mit dem Glasauge (1969 / German trailer), with the now forgotten sex comedy Herzblatt oder Wie sag' ich's meiner Tochter? / Heart Break (1969) and this krimi here, aka School of Fear and/or Seven Days Grace. It's based on the novel Sieben Tage Frist für Schramm by Paul Hendrick (aka Edvard Hoop, 19 May 1925 — 5 Nov 2008), and it would seem that although this is a Krimi of sorts, this movie was one of Vohrer's "more serious" projects. God knows the trailer is boring enough...

Trailer to
Sieben Tage Frist:
Film Affinity has the plot: "At a boarding school for boys in Northern Germany, one student named Kurrat (Arthur Richelmann) vanishes one night without informing anybody after having had a fight with one of the teachers. Soon, the police under the command of Inspector Klevenow (Horst Tappert of Jess Franco's She Killed in Ecstasy [1971 / German trailer], The Devil Came from Akasava [1971 / German trailer] and Der Todesrächer von Soho [1972 / a German trailer]) learns of Kurrat's ambivalent, at times rebellious personality and that he was admired by many of his fellow students, jealously despised by some and strongly disliked by a few of the teachers. The interrogations reveal that Kurrat could either be dead or actually playing a macabre joke. Has somebody been too jealous, vengeful, disappointed or betrayed? Has someone killed Kurrat and plunged his body into the near sea? When Stallmann (Paul Albert Krumm of the unjustly unknown movie Jonathan [1970 / German trailer]), a teacher with whom Kurrat was rumored to have had an affair, and Kurrat's father (Otto Stern) are found dead, the mystery grows. And when Kurrat finally and unexpectedly reappears alive, things get even more enigmatic. The solution of the mystery lasts back a long time into the past...

TV Guide gives away the motive: "A concentration camp doctor has taken on the identity of a camp victim and become a teacher in a posh boarding school. Here he is recognized by the father of one of his pupils, and is told that he has seven days in which to give himself up. A series of murders is the result."




Schreie in der Nacht
(1969, writ. & dir. Antonio Margheriti)
A rarity among Fuchsberger's films: he plays a bad person — but then, everyone in this film is a bad person. Aka Contranatura, Screams in the Night and The Unnaturals. 
Italian Trailer to
Contranatura:
Yet another relatively forgotten crime thriller chiller cum horror film by the great trash master Antonio Margheriti — Alien from the Deep (1989), Web of the Spider (1971 / German trailer— a remake of his 1964 movie, Castle of Blood), The Virgin of Nuremberg (1963 / Italo trailer), Castle of Blood (1964 / trailer), Killer Fish (1979 / trailer), Cannibal Apocalypse (1980 / trailer), The War of the Planets (1966 / trailer), Battle of the Worlds (1961 / trailer), Assignment Outer Space (1960 / trailer), Yor (1983 / trailer), The Wild Wild Planet (1965 / trailer) and more more more — once again directing as "Anthony M. Dawson".
Castle of Blood
Margheriti's B&W Classic with Barbara Steele in Full:
It was a dark and stormy night ... a group underway gets stranded in the rain ... they take refuge in a secluded, nearby house inhabited by an old lady and her son....
At DD Cult, Phil Hardy, who doesn't seem to find the movie all that good, gives everything away: "After the psycho set in a girl's school, Nude… si muore (1968 / trailer), Antonio Margheriti, in a lean period, concocted this routine tale, set in England in the thirties, of a group of travelers, all with murky pasts, seeking refuge in an old mansion inhabited by a weird old woman and her son, both devoted spiritualists. The old woman, in a trance during a séance, reveals the horrible crimes committed by her guests, which includes incest and murder. It turns out that the spiritualista are in fact ghosts returning from the beyond to bring retribution: they unleash a flood which drowns everybody."

Over at imdb, on the other hand, Mario Gauci of Malta (marrod@melita.com) is of another opinion: "[...] It certainly ranks among the top three efforts by this major exponent that I am familiar with, along with two other Gothic horror entries i.e. The Long Hair of Death (1964 / full movie) and Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye (1973). For the record, this is a German-Italian co-production to which the director himself contributed the script — a highly atmospheric chiller (with a séance figuring prominently throughout) yet boasting an atypical elegance due to its 1920s England setting. Interestingly, the plot more or less harks back to vintage 'old dark house'-type pictures [...] which revolved around a gathering at some remote location for the sake of an inheritance that goes terribly wrong, resulting in a murder spree; actually, this takes things a bit further (also taking advantage of the permissiveness of the age with its inclusion of by-now quite mild instances of nudity) – where the vicissitudes of the crime are slowly assembled via multiple flashbacks (unveiling various illicit affairs, both financial and romantic, into the bargain) and the whole set-up ultimately revealed to be an elaborate retribution (incorporating surprisingly neat, i.e. not heavy-handed, apocalyptic connotations) from beyond the grave! [...]" 



Das Geheimnis der grünen Stecknadel
(1972, dir. Massimo Dallamano)
 
Four years after his last Edgar Wallace movie, Fuchsberger returns to the series which, by now, had entered its cheap and sleazy Italo phase and was gasping its last, desperate breaths. This one, based ever sooooo loosely on the Wallace novel The Clue of the New Pin, enjoys a very high level of cult popularity under the title What Have You Done to Solange? — in fact, some claim it to be one of the best Italo giallos of the 1970s. Although an Italo-German production, it was shot on location in London.
German Trailer:
Director Massimo Dallamano (17 April 1917—14 Nov 1976), whose career was cut short by a car accident, was primarily active as a cinematographer, but almost all the films he directed enjoy high levels of cult (if not critical) popularity. Among his projects: Bandidos (1967 / trailer), Venus In Furs (1969 / trailer), Dorian Gray (1970 / trailer), Super Bitch (1973 / music), What Have They Done to Your Daughters? (1974 / trailer) and The Night Child (1975 / trailer).
The plot, in detail, from TV Guide: "The murder of a London schoolgirl leads to unsavory revelations about the students of an exclusive high school in this sleazy, well-crafted Italian-West German co-production. Italian gym teacher Enrico Rossini (Fabio Testi) is married to fellow teacher Herta (Karin Baal of Vinzent [2004 / German trailer]), and both work at St. Mary's Catholic School for Girls. Enrico is also engaged in an intense, flirtatious affair with a student, Elizabeth Eccles (Cristina Galbo of The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue [1974 / trailer] and The House that Screamed [1969 / trailer]), and while taking a boat ride with her on the Thames, she claims to see the flash of a knife from shore. He dismisses her fears, but the next day the body of young Hilda, another St. Mary's student, is found on the shore. Enrico incautiously goes to look at the body, and though all the teachers are interrogated by the police, he's singled out for suspicion by Inspector Barth (Joachim Fuchsberger). Reluctant to admit that he was near the crime scene because he fears that his relationship with Elizabeth will come to light, Enrico begins investigating on his own. A second student (Pilar Castel) is murdered, and then Elizabeth falls victim to the vicious killer immediately after admitting that she may have seen the killer, who was dressed in 'a long black habit' like a priest. Ironically, Elizabeth's death, and the revelation that she was still a virgin, brings Enrico and Herta closer together, and she helps him track down rumors that the three girls were part of a clique who participated in lesbian experimentation and wild sex parties with older men. The group included a girl named Solange (Camille Keaton of I Spit on Your Grave [1978 / trailer] and Tragic Ceremony [1972 / trailer]), to whom something terrible happened. Lust murder, Catholic school girls, lots of nudity and a general atmosphere of perversity helped make this nasty thriller a favorite of giallo fans."
English Trailer:
And like so many the Celluloid Highway likes the movie: "This is a film unusually interested in minor details, and the screenplay sets up a gallery of characters who are all hiding something. The film does waste far too much time on putting Enrico in the frame, but the revelations that end the film are genuinely surprising, and extremely effective. The grisly and shocking methodology of the killer becomes entirely plausible when the explanation is given. We are briefly afforded the sight of an X-ray of one of the victims, and it is amongst the most disturbing images to grace a giallo. In the first half of the film themes of innocence and purity are woven into the fabric of the narrative, and are then subverted in an ironic counterpoint at the conclusion. The film is full of little ironies, and it is able to alight on moments that seem inconsequential because of an incredibly patient and careful method of storytelling. The precise narrative is complimented by the beautiful and meticulous widescreen cinematography of Aristide Massaccesi; rarely has the frame been used to such excellent effect in a gialli. Another touch of pure class is the score by Ennio Morricone which is one of his most memorable. What Have You Done to Solange? is an unforgettable and poignant film, it is a quietly devastating examination of lost innocence. Its final freeze frame image of the bereft Solange (Camille Keaton) possibly the most haunting visual to feature in a giallo."



Ein Käfer gibt Vollgas
(1972, writ. & dir. Rudolf Zehetgruber)

Aka Superbug, Super Agent. We took a look at this rather pointless German version of Herbie the Lovebug at our R.I.P.: Career Review of Heinz Reincke, where we kept it short: "A cheap and crappie German sequel to The Love Bug Rally / Ein Käfer geht aufs Ganze (1970 / trailer), an almost as cheap and just as crappie German version of the Disney's The Love Bug (1968 / trailer) — two more German rip-offs were to follow by 1975." The latter two were entitled Ein Käfer auf Extratour aka Superbug: The Wild One (1973 / Australian trailer) and Das verrückteste Auto der Welt aka The Maddest Car in the World (1975 / German trailer). None of the three films other than this one here featured Fuchsberger anywhere.
Trailer:
Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings actually saw the movie, and said: "Given the fact that the primary human character of the Superbug movies has the name of Jimmy Bondi [director Rudolf Zehetgruber himself, credited as 'Robert Mark'], it's no surprise they should take a stab at the superspy genre. Still, the James Bond series weren't quaking in their boots with the encroachment of the Superbug series into their territory any more than the Herbie the Love Bug series did. I can't honestly say that the movie disappointed me, but that's because I've seen enough Superbug movies to keep my expectations where they belong (extremely low), and the movie was just as bad as I expected it would be. For the uninitiated, Superbug is a Volkswagen with a personality; it talks, and assaults anyone that insults it by hitting it with tires, hood ornaments, door handles, etc. Its big trick this time around is that it travels on water, and the movie is obsessed with showing this footage as much as possible. The movie is sluggish and painfully unfunny."
Rudolf Zehetgruber made better films than this, for example: Die schwarze Kobra (1963 / TV trailer), Die Nylonschlinge (1963 / German trailer), Das Wirtshaus von Dartmoor (1964 / trailer) and Das Geheimnis der chinesischen Nelke (1964 / trailer). 



Das Mädchen von Hongkong
(1973, dir. Jürgen Roland)
 
Aka From Hong Kong with Love and The Girl from Hong Kong. One Fuchsberger's last feature films before he concentrated on a long and successful career on television was this Wolf C. Hartwig production (the man behind Horrors of Spider Island [1960] and the mostly unknown — even in Germany — D-film, Isle of Sin [1960]). Fuchsberger had, of course, already worked with Jürgen Roland when Roland was pulled in to finish Die seltsame Gräfin (1961 / see Part II).
German Trailer:
We caught this movie many a year ago on late-nite TV — and fell asleep in the middle of it. All German reviews we've read about it, however, say it is psychotronically entertaining, so perhaps we were just tired that night.
The movie is supposedly based on the novel of the same name written by Herbert Reinecker (24 Dec 1914 — 27 Jan 2007), who also did the screenplay; Reinecker, a former supporter of the Nazi regime, editor-in-chief of the NS youth magazine Jungvolk and later war correspondent for the Waffen-SS, went on to become one of the most successful scriptwriters of Germany; he worked on six Edgar Wallace films, including one of our favorites, Die blaue Hand (1967 / trailer below).
Trailer to
Die blaue Hand:
 
Love Lock and Load says: "Spiced up with several fistfights, shoot-outs and some bare breasts (courtesy of Li Paelz and frequent Report-film starlet Eva Garden), the film features the ever likeable Joachim Fuchsberger as jack-of-all-trades Frank Boyd. Boyd arrives in Hong Kong trying to start a new life, only to find out that his friend Edward Collins (Jimmy Shaw) has been killed under mysterious circumstances. Before you can say 'Third Man', Boyd runs into shady figures and gets his life in danger more than once. The local police don't offer much help but finally Boyd manages to uncover the machinations of a large-scale drug syndicate all on his own. And then let's not forget that gorgeous Chinese beauty Mai Li (Li Paelz) whom Boyd has to take care of during his investigations... Das Mädchen von Hongkong is simple, light-hearted 70s crime action with the occasional red herring and story twist. Colourful and largely shot on location the film benefits a lot from the oriental setting, adding some interesting exotic flavour to what would otherwise have played out as rather unremarkable standard fare. Fuchsberger is in good form and steals the show with his tongue-in-cheek machismo attitude, not once losing his humour even when the bad guys try and give him a good thrashing (sorry guys, no martial arts here). Unfortunately, Véronique Vendell, Grégoire Aslan and bad guy Arthur Brauss don't get a lot to do with their rather underwritten parts and the Mai Li character is only loosely integrated in the plot. I had a good time with this picture, though — it makes for perfectly relaxed Sunday afternoon entertainment. The fabulous soundtrack is not credited to any composer as it is culled from music libraries." 



Der Fan
(1982, writ. & dir. Eckhart Schmidt)
Trailer:
Aka Blood Groupie and Trance. We saw this movie years and years ago at a late-night triple feature in Berlin with Joe D'Amato's Papaya Love Goddess of the Cannibals (1978 / trailer) and Umberto Lenzi's Mondo cannibale (1972 / trailer). In all truth, this obscure movie, which includes cannibalism but can hardly be called a cannibal movie, can also not really be counted as a Fuchsberger project: he only appears as a talking head on the television for half a second, long enough to say "Und hier kommt, 'R'." But what the fuck, he is there...
Fuchsberger's Big Second in
Der Fan:
A horror movie that attempts at both social criticism and black humor, Der Fan drowns in its own seriousness and is hampered by a beautiful but incapable female lead (Désirée Nosbusch as Simone, "The Fan") and an equally wooden Deutsche Neue Welle singer (Bodo Steiger as "R"). Nevertheless, it achieves a sordid consistency if depressiveness that makes it very hard to forget. It might bore you to death, but it also keeps you fascinated — a dichotomy that very few films can lay claim to.
Director Eckhart Schmidt, whose past projects includes his debut feature film Jet Generation — Wie Mädchen heute Männer lieben (1968 / title track), the horror film Loft — Die neue Saat der Gewalt (1985 / German trailer), the new wave thriller Alpha City (1985 / trailer) and a variety of other less interesting projects, is a Serious Filmmaker, the type one might find on Sprockets. (And The Fan, for all its sleaze and distasteful appeal, is likewise a Serious Film.) Nowadays, Eckhart Schmidt concentrates on making documentary films.
Sprockets Dance:
A Full Tank of Gas explains the basics: "Like many girls her age, pretty 17-year-old Simone (Nosbusch) has a crush on the latest teen pop sensation, a Kraftwerk-like singer known simply as ‘R’ (Steiger). But as Eckhardt Schmidt's Der Fan unfolds we quickly come to realise that Simone's fixation on her idol goes far beyond that of most ordinary girls. Each morning she accosts the local postman as he starts his round to see if R has responded to her letters to him. She believes they share a special bond, and that he loves her as much as she loves him, even though they've never met and he never responds to her letters. Although her romantic fantasies about R are harmless enough, her obsession begins to affect her school life and her relationship with her parents. Already something of a loner, Simone withdraws into a world that revolves only around her idol, and she decides to hitch-hike to Munich to meet him in person. Incredibly, not only does she manage to do this, her good looks are enough to win her an invitation to see him record his latest single for a TV pop show. However, when R takes her to a friend's apartment, things take a decidedly dark and twisted turn."
A Song from the Film
(Rheingold — Abfahrt):
 


Neues vom Wixxer
(2007, dir. Cyrill Boss & Philipp Stennert)
The inference to the Wallace movie Der Hexer (1964 / German trailer) and Neues vom Hexer (1965 / German trailer) is of course intentional. Much like the US has rediscovered all the hit TV shows of the past as a source for new major movie releases, in Germany they have begun to turn to their hit movies of the past as a source for new movies, usually comedies. The first that we took notice of was the hilarious Der Schuh des Manitu (2001 / trailer), which works best if you grew up on Winnetou (1963 / trailer) and friends.
A few years later, in 2004, director Tobi Baumann released the Edgar Wallace homage and persiflage Der Wixxer (trailer), a title which more or less translates into "The Wanker". The comedy was not only a hit at the box office, but funny as well, notable among other things as perhaps being one of the first German movies to use Hitler — in this case, a character named Hatler (Christoph Maria Herbst) — as the source of a running joke. They tried to get Fuchsberger to make a guest appearance in it, but convinced that the movie would be laughing at instead of with his earlier Wallace movies, he declined. Der Wixxer was a hit, and even Fuchsberger saw it — and liked it so much that he agreed to appear in the sequel, this film, Neues vom Wixxer, as Lord Dickham. It was his first "real" feature-film appearance in 33 years!
The plot? Who cares — of you don't speak German, you'll probably never see it anyways. Part III, entitled Triple WixXx, has been announced.
Trailer:


Joachim Fuchsberger — May He R.I.P.

Short Film: Father Christmas (Canada, 2011)

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'Tis that time of the season again, during which we prove our gullibility not just by celebrating a "virgin" birth of a nutcase claiming to be the son of god, but by also by spending way too much money to buy way too much crap to give to way too many people that we really can't stand anyways: siblings, relatives, ex-wives and ex-husbands, in-laws, children and other hangers-on that really can't stand you any more than you can them. Yep: 'Tis the Season to be Jolly .... jolly well drunk, actually.

And with all that brotherly and familiar love in mind, we bring you this short little doozy of a movie, Father Christmas,a tiny jewel of a Christmas flick that left us as shocked as it did make us laugh. All families have their secrets, and what better day for them to come out than on the day of love and forgiveness?
The website Chuck Norris Ate My Babyexplains the meat and potatoes of the short: "It's Christmas Eve, and the Williamson family are gathered around the fire, enjoying each other's company, when one of the family members discovers an audio cassette from Christmas, 1991. [...] Made for the 48-Hour Bloodshots Canada horror filmmaking contest, Father Christmas was created by the Vancouver-based sketch comedy troupe MegaSteakMan. Regardless of being a comedy group, the team behind MegaSteakMan takes a serious approach to Father Christmasand are quite successful in doing so. In its brief running time, Father Christmas presents an effective tale of terror that makes for a nice treat for those of you looking for something a little darker this holiday season."
In any event, just to get you in the spirit of the season, we open this month with our Short Film of the Month for December 2014: Father Christmas.
Director Kial Natale has also brought us the shorts I Was a Teenage Transvestite (2010 / full short) and 28 Geeks Later (2010 / full short).
And if this movie has put you in the mood, may we suggest the following Christmas-themed Short Films of the Month as well:
Dec 2013 — A Very Zombie Holiday(USA, 2010)
Dec 2012 — Treevenge(USA, 2008)
Dec 2010 — X-Mess Detritus(USA, 2008)

The Innkeepers (USA, 2011)

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(Spoilers.) Ti West, the director who less than enjoyed his experience of making the nasty and hilarious gore comedy Cabin Fever: Spring Break(2007), returns with a 3-D haunted house film inspired by a "real" haunted house, the Yankee Pedlar Innin Torrington, Connecticut — but unlike the last 3-D "real" haunted house flick we saw, The Asylum's semi-mockbuster Haunting of Winchester House (2009), The Innkeepers doesn't suck elephant dick, despite the presence of the totally pointless 3-D technology and a variety of narrative flaws, mostly in the form of questions the movie leaves unanswered and one idiotic plot aspect. But be what it may, if we once rated Haunting of Winchester House as "a 98% failure", we would tend to rate The Innkeepers as around 90% successful.
For The Innkeepers, West seems to have taken his inspiration from the less visceral horror films of yesterday and the result is a haunted house movie that feels a bit like from yesteryear, a movie that plays closer to Robert Wise's The Haunting (1963 / trailer) or The Changeling (1980 / trailer) than, say, Jan de Bont's pointless remake The Haunting (1999 / trailer) or any number of other ghost films and exploiters. Thus, the movie is a relatively slow burn and focuses more on the characters and a growing sense of unavoidable doom than it does on shock or easy scares. And while West masters both the presentation of his characters and the (very) slowly developing unavoidable sense of doom in this beautifully shot movie, he and the film flubs it totally during the last 5 minutes — and does so, so badly that despite all the good aspects of the film (including great acting, well-drawn characters, excellent direction, beautiful camerawork and framing, mood, etc.), the movie ends up a major disappointment.
The tale involves the last days of Yankee Pedlar Inn which, in the film at least, is due to shut its doors forever and, until that day, is being run by a skeleton staff of two, the directionless and asthmatic Claire (Sara Paxton of the pointless remake The Last House on the Left[2009 / trailer] and Shark Night 3-D [2011 / trailer]*) and the slightly older slacker Luke (Pat Healy of Ghost World [2001 / trailer]**, Undertow [2004 / trailer] and Cheap Thrills [2013 / trailer]). They tend to the few remaining guests and while their time away drinking beer, questioning past life decisions, and tracking the hotel's supposed ghost, Madeline O'Malley, the sad spirit of an abandoned bride who hung herself in the 1800s and whose body was supposedly hidden in the basement by the hotel owners of the time. With the aid of ghost-hunting equipment that the lower middle class much less slackers like themselves normally can't afford, Claire actually finds what she's looking for — to her detriment.

* A film so bad that, when we saw it, we didn't bother reviewing it.
** We all know what's happening with Scarlett Johansson since that film, but whatever happened to Thora "Super Star" Birch?

West has a beautiful eye when it comes to framing a shot or letting the camera travel, and he also seems gifted in getting good performances from his actors and a clear idea of how to convey, through montage, a lot more than just what is seen. The result, as mentioned before, is a well-made, well-acted movie — though we would say that the casting of Kelly McGillis, as Leanne Rease-Jones, the washed-up actress turned medium, is more gimmicky than effective — populated by believable characters and a fine sense of growing, impending doom. It is a shame, then, that he blows it so majorly scriptwise during the last ten minutes of the movie.
Doubts already arise with the introduction of a mysterious old man (George Riddle of BlackMale [2000 / trailer]) who just must have a special room on the third floor (as old as he is, he is still too young to be as connected with the dead jilted bride as he is eventually revealed to be), and it doesn't help that Claire is continuously terrified by any and all positive results she achieves when looking for the ghost — indeed, it only makes the viewer wonder why she even looks for ghosts in the first place. (It's like, well, if you're a vegetarian, you don't go to a steak house, do you?)
Likewise, the what and the why of the ghosts' interactions with Claire also remain unclear: is Madeline O'Malley angry because Claire looked for them, does O'Malley — and later the old man — just want to communicate, or are they just hungry for more company? The warning that Leanne Rease-Jones announces ten minutes before the film ends — something along the lines of "We gotta get outa here now and whatever you do DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT!***— infers the last, but it also leads to the key moment that ruins the film. Indeed, when it happened, we ourselves as well as the entire group with whom we watched the film — and which had to this point liked and been engrossed with the movie — broke out in spontaneous guffaws: Claire, hearing voices, starts saying "Leanne, is that you?" and then wanders down into the basement to meet... well, what do you think? A fifth-rate slasher couldn't have done it any better.
So there you have it: The Innkeepers is a well-made, beautiful and slow-building movie that drops the ball at the end. 90% good, 10% what-the-fuck fuck-up. What we haven't been able to decide yet is whether the 90% is so good we have to recommend the movie, or the ending is so fucked that we can't...
*** Say, anyone remember that great bad movie, Don't Look in the Basement (1973 / trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wkLgmoe8Dc)? Has nothing to do with this flick here, but Leanne's warning promptly made us think of it.

R.I.P.: Harry H. Novak, Part XI: 1974–1975

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12 January  1928 — 26 March 2014

"When I was a kid, my Daddy told me, 'There's a buyer for everything.' And I lived to find out that he was right."
Harry H. Novak


Harry H. Novak, alongside David F Friedman (24 Dec 1923 — 14 Feb 2011) one of the great (s)exploitation kings of the last half of the 20th century, died 26 March 2014 at the age of 86. 
A detailed career review of all the projects that Harry H. Novak, "The Sultan of Sexploitation", foisted upon the American public would be Sisyphean task at best and hardly possible, as no full and unequivocal list exists. What follows is a review of the films that we found that, for the most part, probably had Novak's involved somewhere along the way — and some that may not have. It is definitely not a complete list, and definitely not infallible, it is merely culled from sources reliable and unreliable that we found online. We also in no way suggest that the given release dates are the correct ones, they are merely the first ones we found. 
If you know any we missed, feel free to send the title... 


Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II: 1956-64
Go here for Part III: 1965-66
Go here for Part IV: 1967
Go here for Part V: 1968
Go here for Part VI: 1969
Go here for Part VII: 1970
Go here for Part VIII: 1971
Go here for Part IX: 1972
Go here for Part X: 1973



 Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks
(1974, Dick Randall [as Robert H. Oliver]) 

Aka Frankenstein's Castle, Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks, Monsters of Frankenstein, Terror, Terror Castle, The House of Freaks and The Monsters of Dr. Frankenstein. As we all know, Novak also occasionally bought the domestic rights to some foreign flicks of varying quality — quality was probably not an issue when purchasing them — for US release. The film here, originally entitled Terror! Il castello delle donne maledette, is one such flick. It is a movie that separates the boys from the men, the LeRoy Neimans from the Michelangelos, the micropenii from the macropenii: "This movie is a steaming pile of CRAP. Frankenstein's castle is full of feces, not freaks" (Eccentric Cinema) vs. "Needless to say, [...] this is a true B-movie lover's dream and you'll be damn glad you saw it" (Trash Film Guru).
It was directed by the sadly forgotten Dick Randall, the original producer of the Novak-distributed The Mad Butcher (1971), which we looked at in Part IX. According to the current Wikipedia entry (23 Dec 2014), it is "considered by most to be one of the worst Frankenstein films ever made." Among its four credited authors is William Rose, the director of such memorable titles like 50,000 B.C. (Before Clothing) (1963 / trailer), Rent-a-Girl (1965 / 3 scenes), The Smut Peddler (1965 / see below), Professor Lust (1967) and — perhaps his most popular film — The Girl in Room 2A (1974 / trailer).
From William Rose —
Trailer to The Smut Peddler (1965):
Over at imdb, Arthur Workman (arthur49@user1.channel1.com) offers this succinct plot description: "[Rosanno] Brazzi (of Barbara's Baby — Omen III [1983 / trailer]) plays mad Dr. Frankenstein, [Michael] Dunn (of The Freakmaker [1974] and The Werewolf of Washington [1973 / trailer / full movie]) is an evil dwarf and Lugosi (no relation to Bela [real name: Salvatore Baccaro, of SS Hell Camp (1977 / trailer)]) is a Neanderthal man. Add a monster named Hulk, and some nude women for sexploitation value."
2,500 Movies Challenge says: "Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks begins as any good monster movie, or indeed any movie period, should: with a group of villagers battling it out with a caveman! This is the first, but far from the last scene in Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks that will have you scratching your head and wondering 'What the hell am I watching here?' [...] Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks is certainly not the best monster movie ever made, but the sheer lunacy that takes place within its 90 minutes at least ensures it's never a boring one."
Full Public Domain Movie:



Country Hooker
(1974, dir. Lew Guinn)
 

We couldn't find out who wrote this slice of semi-hixploitation (produced and distributed by you know who), and indeed the film credits offers no name for the scriptwriter, but Country Hooker seems to be the only currently known directorial effort of the hobby cinematographer Lew Guinn, who held the camera for the Arch Hall vehicle Deadwood '76 (1965 / trailer) & John 'Bud' Cardos' blaxploitation western The Red, White, and Black (1970) and, long before that, was the editor of The Slime People (1963 / trailer) & Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962 / trailer).
Trailer to Country Hooker
Censored for YouTube:
Digital Obsessed says "There are a lot of oily, generally unlikable characters in Country Hooker, but that's a requirement for one of these titles, and even when a woman gets strangled to death, it seems that a dose of some bad country music will make everything all right again. As in Sweet Georgia (1972 [dir. "Edward Boles"]), Novak has Guinn load this film with barest minimum of plot and goes well beyond the recommended daily requirements for bare breasts and well-lit sex. While it's true that a Novak film might not be high art, as pure, unadulterated genre trash it has all the right stuff."
Terrible County Music:
All Movie has the plot: "Dave (Ric Lutze) and Billy B (John Paul Jones) are a pair of country musicians who have just lost most of their band and are in dire need of a gig. When they come to the aid of a pair of sexy women whose car has died in the desert, Sue (Rene Bond) and Jen (Sandy Dempsey), they not only find unexpected romance, but get a line on a gig playing at a roadhouse where the gals are working. Mike (Louis Ojena, also found in The Love Butcher [1975 / trailer] and the early Charles Napier feature-length film The Hanging of Jake Ellis [1969]), who runs the bar and leads the band at the club, gives Dave and Billy B a break, but there are a few things the boys don't know about their new boss — when he isn't singing, Mike is a pimp whose stable of women includes Sue and Jen, he deals drugs on the side, and he doesn't take kindly to anyone who gets in the way of him making a dishonest dollar. Country Hooker was one of many screen pairings for Rene Bond and Ric Lutze, who were married in real life."
NSFW Scene —
Jen (Sandy Dempsey) Raped and Murdered:
DVD Drive-In calls the movie "an enjoyable star vehicle for Rene and Sandy doing what they do best, but their best work was ahead of them and this isn't the best introduction to their worldly charms." They also point out that Candy Samples' claim that Sandy Dempsey, with whom Samples' did the lesbo tango in Candy's Cat House (1972 / NSFW fuck film), died in a boating accident in 1975, which is now commonly accepted as a true fact, doesn't really hold water as several of Dempsey's films — Panama Red (1976 / opening credits) for example — were shot after she was supposedly dead.
"Worst Movie Scenes of All Time (Episode 42)":
As Video Drone sees it: "The rape and murder scene is a bit shocking for the times [and] there's some really bad country music sequences, which are lip-synced by the guys, and some unintentionally humorous dialogue from the campy writing that will bring out more than a chuckle or two, but overall, the script and acting in this one just doesn't quite get over the well-endowed hump(s), as the film's ending, unlike the girls in the film, is totally flat as a board. Basically, it's main worth is to see the sensual Rene Bond in one of her early roles."
Currently (23 Dez 2014), the full movie can be watched here at YouTube.



The Black Connection
(1974, dir. Michael Finn) 

How many newspapers would run the above advert nowadays, d'ya think? Valiant International Pictures distributed this blaxploitation pic. Contrary to popular opinion, Run, Nigger, Run is not an alternative title to the flick, but part of the original title. The film was later brought out on VHS without the N-words.
Trailer to
The Black Connection:
Grindhouse Classics says that "There's nothing flashy or stylish about The Black Connection, [...] it was shot on the ultra-cheap and looks it. What's even more important, though, is that it feels as cheap as it looks." They give the plot as follows: "Las Vegas hood Miles Carter (the wooden and uncharismatic Bobby Stevens — but we won't hold that against him, all the acting in this flick is atrocious) is in it deep with the Italian mob over a hefty amount of missing cocaine. He's tried every legit angle to get the money they want before they whack him, but when even his bank manager turns him down for an extension on the loan he owes them, he knows he's going to have to resort to — ummm — less conventional methods of settling his scores with both the mob and the bank. Carter's girlfriend, Magda (Martha Washington) isn't too keen on whatever course of action her man is taking, the white junkie chick he keeps on the side is jonesing for a fix, and his aforementioned bank manager has hired a notorious hitman named 'Fats' Miller to take Carter out over the not-so-small-matter of his debt. All in all, our guy Carter looks like he's fucked, and Vegas is getting to be a pretty hot place for him. Then a chance encounter with Juanita, the widow of a former rival known only as 'The Cuban', offers a timely possibility — she can help him get his hands on a large quantity of premium-grade heroin, all they need to do is get down to Albuquerque to secure the smack. Carter has bigger plans, though — plans that involve setting up one last big deal to unload the heroin and then get the hell down to Mexico with Magda, leaving both his bank and the Mafia holding the bag. All is he has to do is stay alive long enough to get the smack, get it sold, and get across the border. With 'Fats' hot on his trail, though, that easier said than done..." 
But while Grindhouse Classics claims that "Once things do get going, however, the story is a rather involving little crime yarn,"Bleeding Skull says "I have watched this movie so you don't have to."
Title Track to
Run, Nigger, Run:
"The wooden and uncharismatic Bobby Stevens", by the way, was a musician and not an actor by trade: he and two other men in this movie (Sonny Charles and Marvin "Sweet Louie" Smith) were actually the band known as The Checkmates LTD., who also supplied the soundtrack to this forgotten non-classic. (The songs also appeared on their 1974 LP Chessboard Corporation.) Their biggest hit The Checkmates LTD. ever had was the Phil Spector produced Black Pearl, which hit #13 on the US charts in 1969.
Black Pearl
by The Checkmates LTD.:




Fugitive Killer
(1974, dir. Emile A. Harvard)
 

Aka Fugitive Women. Not to be mistaken with the Ed Wood Jr. scripted Stephen C. Apostolof movie Fugitive Girls, aka Five Loose Women, also from 1974 (poster below).
Stephen C. Apostolof's
Fugitive Girls:
Another obscure, seldom-seen Harry Novak production, possibly a Florida-shot regional production, eventually re-released as Fugitive Women; neither director Emile A. Harvard nor scriptwriter Astrid Reiter seem to have ever made another movie, and if anyone has seen the movie, they haven't written about it on the web.
TCM offers the same plot description found everywhere: "A boy becomes friends with a man who he met while he was fishing, unaware that the man is an escaped murderer who is running from the police."
Among the never-knowns acting in this flick is George De Vries, also found somewhere in Clark & Ormsby's underappreciated Dead of Night aka Deathdream (1972 / trailer). The cinematographer and film editor was the unknown Ralph Remy Jr, who was also the cinematographer of Shanty Tramp (1967 / see below) and the laughable The Guy from Harlem (1977 / trailer / title track), but perhaps deserves particular recognition as the co-writer and producer and music composer of the memorable "what-the-fuck?" horror film, Joseph A. Mawra's Miss Leslie's Dolls (1973).
Opening Credits & Title Track to
Shanty Tramp (1967):
 

 
Charlys Nichten
(1974, dir. Walter Boos [22 Nov 1928 — 22 Nov 1996]) 

Aka Charley's Nieces. Though we find it hard to believe that Boxoffice International (Novak) had anything to do with this movie, more than one on-line source says that he distributed it in the US; assuming that the poster above was for the US release, the British title, Confessions of a Sexy Photographer, was dumped in favor of a direct translation of the original German title.
This German movie is based on the farcical stageplay Charley's Aunt written by Brandon Thomas (24 Dec 1848 — 19 June 1914); a record-breaker in its day — it was first performed at the Theatre Royal, Bury St Edmunds, in February 1892 — it has been filmed often: in 1915 with Oliver Hardy and in 1925 with Sydney Chaplin, the brother of Charlie Chaplin; 1930 with Charles Ruggles; 1940 with Arthur Askey; 1941 with Jack Benny; in 1952 as a musical; and, in German-speaking lands, once with Paul Kemp (1934), twice with Heinz Ruehmann (in 1934 and 1956, the latter version with Walter Giller), once with Peter Alexander (1963), and (to date) twice for television. (Egypt and Russia are two other countries we know of that did their own versions; there are surely more.) In 1974, Walter Boos, a director better known as part of the team (including Boos, Wolf C. Hartwig [the producer of Flitterwochen in der Hölle / Isle of Sin (1960) and Horrors of Spider Island (1960)], and Ludwig Spitaler) responsible for the original 13 Schoolgirl Report films (1970 to 1980), obviously decided it was time to do an up-dated and sexed-up version of the farce.
Trailer to the First Schoolgirl Report
Schulmädchen-Report: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten (1970):
The Schoolgirl Report films were generally also released in the grindhouses of the US under a variety of titles, but as the focus of the movies are often on the sexuality of young adults considered under-age in the US, they are now generally unavailable in English. The first of the series, Schulmädchen-Report: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten (1970 / trailer above) was released in England as Confessions of a Sixth Form Girl, and like Confessions of a Sexy Photographer, Confessions of a Male Escort (1971) and Confessions of a Frustrated Housewife (1976) — the last is looked at in the next instalment of this RIP Review— was thus renamed so as to ride on the wave of the then-popular in England Confessions sex comedy series, which includes Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974 / trailer), Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975 / trailer), Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976 / trailer) and Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977 / trailer).
To feely adapt the German-language plot description found at Tofu Nerdpunk (which finds the movie "Scheiße": "The broke panties salesmen Max (Josef Moosholzer), Stefan (Bertram Edelmann) and Luigi (Massimo E. Melis) are in desperate need of a new job as their panties have been seized by the court and they owe back rent on their apartment, which they want to keep because it is directly across the way from the photo studio of the gay photographer Charly Braun (Karl-Heinz Otto), who specializes in female nudes. Charly doesn't allow men in his studio, as they distract him, so the guys dress up as women and get the job. But soon they want to do more than just watch, while Charly fears he might be going straight because he feels so attracted to the three masculine women. The situation isn't helped by Max's addiction to eating sauerkraut, which leads to massive farting and fart jokes...."
Full NSFW German Movie
at Some Russian Website:
Of all films director Walter Boos worked on, we prefer his only known and hilariously enjoyable horror film Magdalena, vom Teufel besessen, also from 1974. Credited as Michael Walter — his full name was Michael Walter Boos — the English version was released as Beyond the Darkness aka Devil's Female aka Magdalena, Possessed by the Devil. Check out the fun trailer below.
Trailer to
Magdalena, Possessed by the Devil:
 



Sexual Kung Fu in Hong Kong
(1974, Dir. Carlos Tobalina)
 

Another movie made together with HIFCOA (otherwise known as porn filmmaker Carlos Tobalina); about the only info to be found online about the movie is the same non-info found in Jason S. Martinko's The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988, where the author writes: "This adult Kung Fu movie was filmed in Hong Kong. Director Carlos Tobalina also worked as co-producer as cinematographer. It premièred in Los Angeles, California on April 5, 1974."
Thanks to the poster, imdb, iafd, TCM and the book mentioned above, we have some of the cast, though who knows what they played: the mammoth-mammaried iconic redhead Roxanne Brewer ([March 1941 — Oct 1987] aka "Suzzane Delor", "Sue Doloria", "Roxanne Lee" and "Susie Edgell", seen above on the cover of Easy Rider and found in among other films Night of the Witches [1971 / trailer], Young Secretaries [1974 / trailer] and Fantasm [1976 / see below]); Nina Fause (aka "Gayle Winner"& "Clair Starlove", of the grimy, home-made-looking porn horror Come Deadly [1974 / full grimy hardcore movie] as well as Tobalina's Jungle Blue [1978 / trailer], The Ultimate Pleasure [1977 / full hardcore film], Marilyn and the Senator [1975 / scene] and Sexual Ecstasy of the Macumba [1974]), Maria Pia (of Tobalina's Infrasexum [1969], 1970's I Am Curious Tahiti [see Part VII], Refinements in Love [1971 / hardcore scene], Affaire in Rio de Janeiro [1972], 1973's The Last Tango in Acapulco [see Part IX or the full fuck-film in Italian] and Casanova II [1982]), Nancy Young and Burt Raymond.
Roxanne Brewer's NSFW Dancing Breast
in Fantasm (1976):


roxanne brewervon earhoney
TCM also claims that some guy named "Lawrence Samuelson" wrote the script (and, it seems, no other). Our unsupported guess: pseudonym for the sub-Renaissance man Tobalina.



Tower of Love
(1974, dir. George Drazich)
Music by Johnny Legend (as Martin Margulies) and Steve Margulies, the latter of whom did the music for mainstream TV actor Phillip Pine's (16 July 1920 — 22 Dec 2006) obscure bodycount fuck film, Don't Just Lay There (1970 / trailer below) which, as the advert below shows, was screened at some places with 1968's Novak-fingered Acapulco Uncensored (see Part V). 
NSFW Trailer to
Phillip Pine's Don't Just Lay There (1970):
Neither the director George Drazich nor the screenwriter Harriet Foster ever participated in another film under the same names. Novak distributed and produced the film, which the Gourmet DVD backcover describes as follows: "In this bizarre Harry Novak production, three women [possibly Jean Pascal, Tammy Smith and Kitty Lombard] go to a fictitious European country to be spokesmodels for a national celebration. They are housed in luxury and paid quite well, and the only drawback is that they must wear chastity belts. The girls go about their daily activities, playing cards, working out, jogging all wearing only these small metal g-strings.
"Sexually frustrated, each calls upon a locksmith, who after having removed their belts, has sex with them. Later on the women are sent back to America, as the event has been cancelled, and the viewer finds out that the locksmith was the nation's prince, engaging in this strange farce to get him some 'action'."
Over at imdb, lor of New York City is once again the only person to find the film worth writing about, and he is not impressed by this "absurdly stupid porn film": "Rarely has so much lame plotting been inserted when all that matters is sex footage. When the underhanded antics are revealed as a con job at film's end it's ho-hum time.
"Comical porn star Keith Erickson [of Suckula (1973) and Psyched by the 4D Witch (1973 / what?)] is the ambassador from Crotavia, mutton chops and all, and Buck Flower camps it up as a fey assistant. There are some attractive women in action, notably Lilly Foster [aka Ann Toinette, Jane Weinstein, Antoinette Maynard], but it's a lost cause."
Tammy Smith (aka Tina Smith, Joi Fuller, Ruth Armstrong, Margot Kennedy), if imdb is to be believed, later appeared in The Dark Side to Love (1984 / a trailer), one of the various Philip Yordan-scribed Z-films later edited into the surreal trash classic Night Train to Terror (1985 / see below), and also shows up somewhere in River's Edge (1986 / trailer). But seeing that right now (8 Dec 2014) imdb doesn't even realize that Tina Smith and the Tammy Smith in this fuck flick here are the same person, we have our doubts. Even less believable is the current entry of Wikipedia, which claims that the British tease actress Carol Hawkins of The Body Stealers (1969) is in the movie somewhere. 
Trailer to
Night Train to Terror (1985):
 


Love Play
(1975, dir. John Thomas)


"You know what I think? You are sexually atrophied. Your libido is paralyzed, like a cripple in his wheelchair. You make love, sure — but like a machine. For all practical purposes, you're still a virgin."

Lena (Emmanuelle Parèze)

The trailer of this sex film could be found on volume 3 of the Something Weird release Harry Novak's Boxoffice Bonanza of Sexploitation Trailers, which of course indicates that Novak had his fingers there somewhere. A French film, — original French title: L'Essayeuse— he obviously picked it up for US release, where it was re-titled Love Play and had the long scene in which the lead character Lena (Emmanuelle Parèze) is raped by two black servants shortened. The image and babe on the video cover below — "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!"— have nothing to do with the movie.
Director "John Thomas" is actually one Serge Korber, a French director who has worked in a variety of genres, not just porn — including two mainstream French comedies, L'homme orchestre (1969 / see below) and Sur un arbre perché aka Perched on a Tree (1971 / trailer), starring that unbearable French "comedian" Louis de Funès (31 July 1914 — 27 Jan 1983). L'Essayeuse's screenwriter "Frank Barthe", actually the French comedian Michel Vocoret, likewise has taken part in any number of films, porn and not, as actor, writer, director, etc.
French Trailer to
L'homme orchestre:
L'Essayeuse is relatively infamous in France because French bluenoses seem to have been upset by its embracement of licentiousness and managed to get it banned soon after its release. In the end, however, it really isn't anything more extreme than any other fuck film of the day and, like most back then, even has a plot, more or less. Someone who calls himself MayorDefacto (MayorDefacto@gmail.com) saw fit to explain the plot over at imdb: "Lena, the operator of a lingerie shop where she models the merchandise for some of her male customers in order to make a sale, is approached by a mysterious woman, Karine Delacroix (Isabelle Bourjac), the day following a wild night of sex with one of those male customers, Étienne (Alain Saury [7 Mar 1932 — 18 Apr 1991]). The woman offers her a large sum of money to engage in sex at her home that evening. A chauffeur arrives at closing time to drive her to the appointment, and Lena 'pumps' him unsuccessfully for information about his employer. Arriving at Karine's home she's met by two large black male servants who've been instructed to 'give her a try', by force if necessary. Her hostess watches from a distance. Afterwards, Karine discloses that Étienne is her estranged husband, and she wants Lena to help her win him back by teaching her to be the kind of slut Étienne seems to prefer. The tutoring begins immediately as Lena and Karine make love on the sofa, joined eventually by Karine's young maid, Jung (Martine Grimaud of Jean Rollins'Lèvres de sang / Lips of Blood [1975 / see below] and, of course, its porno version Suce moi vampire / Suck Me Vampire [1976]), who appears wearing a strap-on. From there, Lena introduces Karine to all manner of perversions. If Lena succeeds in her tutelage of Karine, she stands to make a small fortune, but she might just lose Étienne in the bargain."
Scene from Jean Rollins'
Lips of Blood (1975):
Over at Erotic City, someone says: "Even if this film wasn't notorious, it would still be worth seeing, because it is entertaining, well made, unusual in many ways, and quite sexy. [...] This film has a real plot and is best watched from beginning to end. L'Essayeuse shows us just how amazing Emmanuelle Pareze really was. Even with her voice dubbed, Emmanuelle's excellent acting and incredible charm shine through. This may well have been her finest role. [....]"
The rape scene edited out in the English language version features Manu Pluton as "Manu", one of the raping servants. Pluton, seen above, is a former Mr France and Europe Mr Apollo and even took part in the NABBA Amateur Mr. Universe contest at one point. He's found in many a porn film, straight and gay, and also appeared briefly in some fun Eurotrash like Seven Women for Satan (1976 / scene) and, according to one source, Jess Franco's Two Undercover Angels / Rote Lippen (1967 / trailer below). He's retired and living in the Land of the Free and the Brave now.
A Trailer to
Two Undercover Angels (1967):
 



Wham! Bam! Thank You, Spaceman!
 (1975, dir. William A. Levey)

Trailer:
WHAM! BAM! THANK YOU SPACEMAN! (William A. Levey, 1975) (NSFW) from Spectacle Theater on Vimeo.
Novak's production company was involved in this movie, which he also presented and distributed. We took a look at this flick in our R.I.P. Career Review of Haji, where we pointed out that "Haji appears somewhere in an un-credited role as a harem girl in this movie, which was originally made as a soft-core flick but later re-released with hardcore inserts. Director William A. Levey is the same man behind the infamous non-classics as, among others, Hellgate (1990 / trailer), The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington (1977 / trailer) and Blackenstein (1973)."
Trailer to William Levey's infamous
Blackenstein (1973):
"DVD Drive-in explains this Harry Novak produced cinematic oddity: 'Two very blue, giant-headed aliens named Sergeant Jackoff and Private Asshole land on earth in search of females to procreate their species. Our visitors beam up naked ladies aboard their ship and mate with them via a snake-like tongue (penis?) that protrudes from their mouths. They also have blue balloons for ears, and they blow up when they get aroused. Jackoff and Asshole roam around Hollywood looking for eligible babes. This shifts the film into different scenarios such as an oversexed hooker, two lesbians on a porno movie set, a husband who suddenly finds his wife more enticing than a game of golf, and some mate swapping involving a rich couple and a duo of French servants. Loaded with four-letter words and crude toilet humor, the aliens constantly scrutinize the female anatomy ('Look at that pimple on her ass!') and the inadequate size of the male human unit in comparison with their own ('Look at that funny cock'). [...] Wham! Bam! Thank You, Spaceman! is a silly but stimulating softcore offering, made several years before the space movie craze [...]. 'Ilsa' herself, Dyanne Thorne (using the pseudonym Rosalee Stein) plays the hooker (yes, she does nudity!) and appears on screen with husband Norman [sic] Maurer. Porn queen Sandy Carey is a sexy maid, and bleach-blond Valda Hansen ([3 Nov 1932 – 21 July 1993] star of Ed Wood's Night of the Ghouls [1959 / full film]) is a horny housewife. Valda also does nudity, but looks about 15 years past her prime.'
"Mania points out that 'As directed by the 70s' version of Jean Cocteau, William A. Levey [...], Wham! Bam! Thank You, Spaceman! is a visual masterpiece. One might be fooled into thinking that the film is comprised of nothing more than a series of static shots, edited together choppily, visually engaging only via the color-saturated print. Yet to think that is to be oblivious to the social commentary by the master satirist that Levey is! Don't you see that this is just a subtle way to show the plight of the domesticated American woman, whose life at that time consisted of a series of boring routines, randomly strung together, engaging only via the massive quantities of booze they ingested and the hard-core lesbian trysts they had with other bored housewives?! It's this undercurrent of thought that makes Wham! Bam! Thank You, Spaceman! one of the greatest films of our time and of all time.'
"The title track is sung by Kay Dennis... we couldn't find it anywhere, but we did find her cover version of Sunny."
Cover of
Bobby Hebb's Sunny by Kay Dennis:
 



Massage Parlor Wife
(1975, writ. & dir. Barry J. Spinello)
 


"Meet the Girls that Rub You the Right Way" 

Aka Pleasure Parlor Wives. Novak presented and distributed this movie by Barry J. Spinello, otherwise known as the independent art film maker Barry Spinello; many years later in 1994, Spinello sued Spielberg and Amblin Entertainment for supposedly stealing the idea for Joe Dante's Small Soldiers (1998 / trailer) from a script he had submitted to them. We don't know who won, but we imagine it was a case of you can't fight city hall. As far as we can tell, the only other directorial project by Spinello that wasn't "art" is the Academy Award nominated short documentary A Day in the Life of Bonnie Consolo (1975 / see below), about a housewife, Bonnie Consolo (12 Oct 1938 — 27 Dec 2005) born without arms.
Scene from
Day in the Life of Bonnie Consolo (1975):
Not based on R.B. Simpson's book of the same title, we are sure — the book, going by the first chapter available here is strictly porn, but the film, to quote the iafd, "is strictly softcore".
For that, however, Massage Parlor Wife features a number of regular faces from the Golden Age of Cinema Hand Helpers, including Serena (born Serena Robinson, of Blue Voodoo [1984, with Wade Nichols, aka Dennis Parker*], Howard Ziehm's porn anthology flick Hot Cookies (1977 / full NSFW film], and the perennial favorite, Dracula Sucks aka Lust at First Bite [1978 / full NSFW moive]), who supposedly is now an artist living in San Francisco; Tyler Reynolds (who made his film début in the unjustly forgotten hardcore Cozy Cool aka Love You to Death [1971] and can be found in films such as the mildly diverting Hey! There's Naked Bodies on My TV! [1979 / scene] and Ray Dennis Steckler's porno Sexual Satanic Awareness [1972]); and an un-credited David Book, who can be seen in the orgy scenes of the infamous gore porn horror flick Hardgore (1976).
*Wade Nichols (aka Dennis Parker)
Singing Like an Eagle:
In Michael Hawkes' book Review Haiku, Volume 1, he explains the plot as "Wifey takes job / It's slippery business / Beats the gas station."Pre Cert Video gives a bit more detail: "Melonie (Serena), an attractive blonde tells Tom (Steve Rogers), her husband, that she has taken a job at a massage parlour. Melonie is hired by Tom's secretary, who invites Tom to spy on the proceedings. The outcome of this devious plan is a series of sex romps with Melonie, Tom and the secretary."Anyfilm says the "film makes hay with the comic antics of [Melonie's] interactions with the customers there while remaining highly erotic — achieving a good balance."
In any event, you can watch a 41-minute edit of the movie here— be forewarned: body hair. 



Tarz & Jane  & Boy & Cheeta
(1975, dir. Itsa Fine)
 
Exciting Scene (Not!) from
Tarz & Jane & Boy & Cheeta:
For some strange reason — probably bad copy editing — the Something Weird DVD release of the movie calls it Tarz & Jane & Cheeta & Boy.
Needless to say, "Itza Fine" is a pseudonym; general consensus seems to be that "Itza Fine" is actually porn cult director Howard Ziehm (aka Hans Johnson, Albert Wilder, Lynn Metz, Linus Gator, Howard Johnson, L Metz, Harry Hopper), unknown as the author of the violent cheapy Copkillers (1973 / see below) and possibly known for the first straight porno feature film with a plot, Mona: The Virgin Nymph (1970 / full fuckfilm), the classic Flesh Gordon (1974 / trailer), the unknown Naughty Network (1981 / "stinky beans"), and not-so-classic Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (1990 / see further below).
Trailer to Ziehm's
Copkillers (1973):
A couple of sites online claim that Harry Novak presented this flick, and though we found no real support of the assertion, who are we to disagree? In any event, Tarz & Jane & Boy & Cheeta seems to be one of those flicks that separate the men from the boys, for many find it shite — DVD Verdict: "Tarz & Jane & Boy & Cheeta may have been fun in its full fornication mode, but shorn of its sex, it's a smutless spoof that goes nowhere."— while others like it, primarily for being as stupid as it is. As far as we can tell, the movie is no longer available anywhere in "full fornication mode".
NSFW German Trailer to Ziehm's
Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (1990):
At Pirate Bay, Odin1066 explains the movie: "This is not a 'porno'. It is for adults due to nudity, sexual situations and depictions, etc. Think of it as 'Carry On...Up the Jungle' done by Americans with much more explicit naughty humour including the use of props like dildos and some purposefully wrong sounds like a bolt action rifle sounding like a machine gun burst with each single shot. Tarz (Patrick Wright [28 Nov 1939 — 9 Dec 2004]) and Jane (Tallie Cochrane [7 Oct 1944 — 21 May 2011]) are living happily together and Boy ("Uncle Tom") is now grown up. Cheeta (San Clemente Richard) is a big ape — the cheap quality of the costume really should be as it is, due to the 'plot'— who is doing lewd physical gestures all the time and early on forces himself on Jane. Meanwhile Tarz gets into a fight with a croc/gator/'prop' and not only loses the fight, but he loses his 'male organ' when it is bitten off!!! Now what? Jane always 'wants it' and he can't 'do it' anymore. With the help of a white explorer/hunter, Miss Wanda (Georgina Spelvin), they all head for Wango Wango Land where Tarz can hopefully be res-'erected' by the magic of their Witch Doctor. Many unusual things are experienced throughout [...]"
In real life, Tarz (Patrick Wright) and Jane (Tallie Cochrane), both drive-in movie perennials, were also married (from 1970 — 1983) and appeared in some two dozen movies together, including The Candy Tangerine Man (1975 / TV Spot, directed by Matt Cimber), Devil's Ecstasy (1977 / scene), Frightmare (1983 / see below), and Track of the Moon Beast (1976 / trailer).
Trailer to
The Horror Star aka Frightmare (1983):
At imdb, Woodyanders (Woodyanders@aol.com) of The Last New Jersey Drive-Inon the Left is of the opinion: "This highly stupid, but often side-splitting tongue-in-cheek sex romp stands as a towering, often insanely funny, and always stupendously ludicrous celluloid monument to characteristically irreverent and uninhibited anything goes Me Decade silliness, boasting no less than two puerile disco songs by Alfie Smith, a suitably lowbrow sense of free and easy dirty humor that never comes close to being either remotely subtle or sophisticated, the guy in the frumpy ape suit doing an absurd Richard Nixon impersonation, unsparingly profane dialogue that's rife with inane double entendres, a marvelously politically incorrect caricature of mincing homosexuals, brazen broadside japes about urinating off the side of trees, castration, forced sodomy from a salacious simian, rape, incest, and corn cobs being used in a most bawdy way, and more sizzling copulation and bared flesh than you can shake a spear at. In other words, this movie overall rates as a whole lot of nice'n'naughty no-brainer fun."
The year prior to Tarz & Jane & Boy & Cheeta, Tarz (Patrick Wright) and Jane (Tallie Cochrane), and Miss Wanda (Georgina Spelvin) appeared together in the Al Adamson movie Girls for Rent (1974 / trailer below).
Trailer to
Girls for Rent aka I Spit on Your Corpse (1974):
 



Teenage Bride
(1975, dir. Gary Troy)


Released in Germany as Dralle Brüste — Steile Schenkel (or "Buxom Boobs — Super Legs"). Novak co-produced and distributed this early Colleen Brennan movie (she's credited as Sharon Kelly), one her last non-hardcore movies — to quote the iafd: "All sex scenes in the movie are essentially softcore." The full NSFW movie can currently be found at this NSFW porn-film website.
The headshot below is the director Gary Troy, making his directorial début with this movie; he had previously done the cinematography for the Novak production The Takers (1971 / see Part VIII) and went on to write and direct one of those movies that everyone hates, Computer Beach Party (1987 / a trailer). As far as we can tell, his last film credit is as line producer for The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer (1993 / trailer below).
Trailer to
The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer:
Vantage Media offers this plot description: "Young Sandy (Cyndee Summers) is married to a beefy old loser (Don Summerfield, as "Charlie"), so she gets her kicks with her hubby's younger step brother, Dennis (Ron Presson [29 June 1937 — 20 May 2007], whose last film appearance may have been in The Uninvited [1988 / see below]). It turns out that everyone is making whoopie! Even Cyndee's boring husband is bopping her best friend, and his personal secretary (Cheri Mann as 'Abigail'), just to name a few. And Dennis, a horny little bugger himself, starts having hot, steamy affairs with all of Cyndee's friends and foes. A genuinely erotic movie that will tease you and keep your hand over your remote control to press the slo-mo button over and over again."
Trailer to
The Uninvited (1988):
As DVD Drive In points out, "Despite the cool exploitation title, there is no Teenage Bride in this sexploitation tale of marital bliss gone sour. But that doesn't matter, it's a cool, sexy, funny flick with nice photography [...]. If that isn't enough reason to see it, there are some good boom shadow shots [...], and almost non-stop 'hard' softcore sex, the Novak way! By the Novak way, I mean unattractive guys and drop-dead gorgeous women knocking boots like they just don't care. But even better than that, if you thought you couldn't get more up close and personal with Sharon Kelly after Young Sally (1971 / see Part VIII), think again! Tight close-ups of her melons being continually squeezed into butter, dangling like pendulums, and her rosy-pink nipples, and of her blazing red pubic hair make this the ultimate pre-porno Sharon Kelly appreciation movie!"

To be continued ... next month

Misc. Film Fun: Jack Lukeman — Boys And Girls (Ode To Ed Wood) (2000)

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Here's an early song from Jack Lukeman (born Seán Loughman 11 February 1973) which, like the artist himself, has remained relatively and unjustly under-appreciated. Shot is an old cinema, dedicated to the great Ed Wood, and danceable — good enough reasons for us to present it here. Enjoy.

And Then There Were None (Great Britain, 1965)

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So, anyone remember Ten Little Niggers?
If you're from the States, probably not. In that racially sensitive land, where everyone is always treated like an equal, even by cops, the tune we were raised with had the at-the-time more politically correct title Ten Little Indians— dunno what it's called now, in these even more (supposedly) enlightened times.
In turn, in regard to the classic Agatha Christie novel that carried the more, let's say, "Colonialist" title, the book was always entitled And Then There Were None in the US, ever since it was first published there in 1939. Not so in Great Britain, where the novel kept its Ten Little Niggers title well into the 1980s — or, for that matter, the Netherlands, where the happy cheese-eaters* kept the N-title until 1994, and places such as (among others) Spain, Greece, Serbia, Romania, France and Hungary, which still use the original title today because, well, racism is OK there and, you know, conservatism means to conserve the good.
*Oh! Was that P.I.? So Sorry. Don't take it personal. Some of my best friends are Dutch. And had I a daughter, I wouldn't mind her marrying a Dutchman, either.
Ten Little N-Word Boys:
Ms. Christie, who surely was neither at all racist nor harbored any outdated Colonialist ideas in any way, was kind enough to change the title completely when she converted her best seller — the novel is the best-selling mystery ever and, currently [04.01.15], only six places behind that other famous work of fiction, The Holy Bible, as the best-selling book ever — into a play in 1943, taking on the title already known in the US: And Then There Were None. And that, in turn, is the usual title of the first film version of the tale, filmed in 1945 by René Clair, which has long since entered the public domain. (Clair's movie was, however, given the N-title when released in England, and the two now possibly lost TV versions made in Great Britain that followed Clair's movie, in 1949 and 1959 respectively, supposedly also both retained the N-title.)
Full Movie —
Rene Clair's Ten Little Indians (1945):

Clair's film, in any event, used the ending not from the novel, but from Christie's stage adaptation, which was changed to lighten the story and also supply a relatively happy end (i.e., some survive, unlike in the novel where everyone dies). In this regard, the Soviet version from 1987, entitled Desyat Negrityat— yep, the N-word again, though in this case they use the N-word lite, "negroes"— is the only film version to date based on the book and retaining its ending.
Not like this film here, the 1965 Euro-version, which, like all feature-film adaptations since — the Brit versions And Then There Were None (1974 / trailer) and Ten Little Indians (1989 / trailer)**— turned to the stage play for its inspiration.
** We looked at the 1974 film briefly in our RIP Career Review of Herbert Lom, but skipped the second despite the fact he's in it, too. Interestingly enough, both those two versions were Harry Alan Towers productions, as was the 1965 version we're looking at here.
But enough history, let's get to the film itself: George Pollack's Ten Little Indians, from 1965, finally released on DVD in Europe a few years ago as And Then There Were None. (Oddly enough, though the film was called Ten Little Indians during its original release, when Fontana did their paperback tie-in in England, the kept the title Ten Little Niggers — as the photo above reveals.) Shot, for the most part, in Ireland, but set in a lonely and distant castle a high atop an inaccessible mountain somewhere in Austria. A change that does make some sense, for a group of such different people — or anyone, for that matter — would be much more open to an invitation to a beautiful castle atop a mountain than a distant, rain-soaked island in the middle of a stormy sea. Indeed, the almost bucolically beautiful montage of sleighs riding through the snow and countryside, and the touristically appealing cable-car ride up the mountain, not only belies the terrible events to come but also makes the viewer think, "Hey! I'd go there, too, if invited!"
The original And Then There Were None is, of course, an ancestor of the modern body counter, and Pollack's version, as all versions, is likewise a simple body-count movie, albeit if anything but of the slasher variety. Still, the core plot events ensure that the tale cannot deny its skin color: that ten people are invited to the castle and that ten people are accused of murder is simply the MacGuffin, the true focus is the ten (or eight, as the case may be) consecutive murders of the characters who all die one by one. And, yes, they do always manage to wander off alone...
Needless to say, though a body counter, it is not in the least a bloody one, even if the 1965 version is far less sedate and demure than the first one. Gone is the spinster headmistress of 1945 (the great Judith Anderson of Laura [1944 / trailer] and Inn of the Damned [1975 / trailer]), replaced by a glamorous starlet Ilona (an underused Daliah Lavi of The Whip and the Body [1963 / Italo trailer]) modeled after Sophia Loren and/or Gina Lollobrigida; gone is the dull Prince Nikita Starloff (Mischa Auer of The Drums of Jeopardy [1931 / full movie], The Monster Walks [1932 / full movie], Murder at Dawn[1932 / full movie], the unjustly forgotten Condemned to Live [1935 / full movie], Hellzapoppin[1941 / dance scene] and Mr. Arkadin[1955 / Trailer from Hell]), replaced by a pop singer (Fabian, seen below showing his bush in a 1973 Playgirl pictorial, of Maryjane [1968 / trailer] and Disco Fever [1978 / trailer] and Kiss Daddy Goodbye [1981 / hilarious scene]) — and what do you know: not only do we get demure semi-nudity by both the starlet Ilona and the secretary Ann Clyde (Shirley Eaton of What a Carve Up! [1961 / full movie], The Million Eyes of Su-Muru [1967 / German trailer] and The Blood of Fu Manchu [1968 / trailer]) as well as a muscular, hairy-chested and shirtless Hugh Lombard/Charles Morley (Hugh O'Brian of Rocketship X-M [1950 / full movie]), but the latter two beautiful people even get it on. (Tastefully, of course.)
 
Yep, the filmmakers did indeed try to update the movie to the times, but needless to say by now it is as quaint as Rene Clair's version was in 1965, particularly since the 1965 version is also in B&W.  But age has been kind to the film, for although it surely must have also been a bit staid and stolid in its day despite the light modernization, it now has that nostalgic sheen that old movies often have. Thus, though the direction is hardly invigorating or overly exciting — even the fist fight, so out of place and obviously tossed in just so the manly man could be, well, manly, is oddly old fashioned — and although the acting is sometimes rather flat, And Then There Were None is nevertheless nostalgically enjoyable and enthralling, and always good for a smile.
Personally, we find it hard to believe that the movie was ever found nerve-racking or all that suspenseful by anyone. For one, the tale is simply too well-known, and secondly it all transpires much too properly and a bit too upper-crust. More than anything, the film is simply fun for the eclectic but familiar faces, the beautiful setting, the stark B&W photography and the convincing production design. Most of the murders really aren't that scary or shocking, though the demises of Elsa Grohmann (Marianne Hoppe of Die seltsame Gräfin [1961 / trailer]) and Joseph Grohmann (Mario Adorf of Deadlock [1970 / trailer] and Short Night of Glass Dolls [1972 / trailer]) are both rather spectacular. The best actors all tend to be the old English ones, particularly the always enjoyable Wilfrid Hyde-White (of The Third Man [1949 / trailer] and The Cat and the Canary [1979 / trailer]) and the convincing milquetoast Dennis Price, the latter of whom was just entering his "I'll take any part offered me" phase. The worst thespians are Fabian and the women, the latter of which are nevertheless thoroughly enjoyable because they, unlike Fabian, are both pure eye candy.
In the end, we rather enjoyed And Then There Were None for what it has become: a creaky but well-made bodycounter for kiddies. Approach it with that in mind, and you might enjoy it, too — especially if you happen to be one of the few, the rare, who don't already know who the killer is. 
Our DVD release, at least and luckily, lacks the William Castle-inspired gimmick of the original release: a "Whodunnit Break" just prior to the climax during which the film is stopped, a ticking clock superimposed, and an off-screen voice breaks the forth wall to ask if the audience knows who the killer is. A stupid idea best forgotten; the film is definitely better without it.

[Not Quite] 10 Best Films in 2014

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The rules haven't changed since 2009: the movies are not presented in any special order, they need not be "good" in the traditional sense of the word, and they need not necessarily be from 2014 — they need only to have been watched and written about in 2014 and, most importantly, they need to have been notable as an "enjoyable" cinematic experience, if only for the one time.
Still, it must be said, 2014 was Slim Pickens. Of the 63 blog entries, 12 were Short Films of the Month, which we always ignore when it comes to this list, as alone the fact that they were chosen to be presented means that they were at least for us an enjoyable cinematic experience. (Still, we would like to draw special attention to the Short Film of the Month for April 2014, Nightmare at Elm Manor[Great Britain, 1961 or 63], and the one for June 2014, Ernest and Bertram[USA, 2001].) The five Misc. Film Fun entries naturally also don't fall into consideration, as they clearly have little to do with a full movie or reviews, nor do the 20 R.I.P. Career Reviews entries.
That leaves only 27 blog entries and 27 actual movies to choose from, many of which are forgettable or crappy or just not good enough to list as one of the "Best of 2014"— The Phantom (1996), for example: sure we enjoyed it, but not enough to put it on this list; and even if Camel Spiders (2012) was enjoyable as a crappy film, it wasn't superlatively so and in no way belongs on this list.
Thus, for 2014, our list is shorter than normal: this year, for our yearly round-up of the previous year, we are happy to present — The Six Best Films in 2014.
Click on the titles to go to the original reviews. As always, presented in no particular order.
 



(Italy, 1978. Director: Ugo Liberatore)

As we said in the review, "Hard to believe that such a dull film can be so enthralling..."


The Hamiltons
(USA, 2006. Directors: "The Butcher Brothers")
"The Butcher Brothers" are otherwise known as the directors Mitchell Altieri and Phil Flores.
Trailer:



(France, 1973. Director: Jean Rollin)
If you don't know who Jean Rollin is or what his films are like, this art horror film is a good place to start as any.
Trailer:



Disaster
(USA, 2005. Director: Roy T. Wood)
100% prime stupidity, 100% fun.
Trailer:



Movies


The Wig / Gabal
(Korea, 2005. Director: Shin-yeon Won)
More scary hair from Asia, but unlike normal, not Japan but Korea. And unlike kimchi, a slow burn.
 Trailer:



(Italy, 1979. Director: Lucio Fulci)
A Fulci classic and must-see that lives up to its reputation. More on the fan-made poster above can be found here.
Theme Music to the Movie:




Special Mention —
The Worst Film Watched in 2014
(Denmark, 1995. Director: Martin Schmidt)
Not a movie, but total donkey doo on celluloid. We saw this film, so you don't have to.
Danish Trailer:

Rise of the Zombies (USA, 2012)

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International Trailer:

We have to admit to a slight perhaps even sadomasochistic weakness for movies from The Asylum. We view the infamous "film studio" and distributor of straight-to-DVD mockbusters and anti-extravaganzas as the contemporary equivalent of the Poverty Row production houses of long ago àla Monogram Pictures and Producers Releasing Corporation, and as such we watch one film after the other, forever hoping that somewhere along the lines we might stumble upon a new and future low-budget classic.
But whereas amidst the plethora of product upchucked by the cheapo houses of yesteryear one does find an occasional excellent or simply good movie if not a rare classic — to name a few: Ulmer's Detour (1945 / full movie), Strangers in the Night (1944), The Crime of Dr. Crespi (1935 / scene), White Zombie (1932 / trailer)*, Escape By Night (1937 / full movie), The Sins of Nora Moran (1933 / full film), Strangler of the Swamp (1946 / full film), Jean Yarbrough's The Devil Bat (1940 / full film), and Arthur Dreifuss'Baby Face Morgan (1942 / full film) — the money-making productions regurgitated by The Asylum tend, on the whole, to display a talent and originality more comparable to that of The Monster Maker (1944) than, say, The Vampire Bat (1933). But still, we have not yet given up hope that one day we might find a movie from The Asylum that we can recommend to others without any contingencies.
Needless to say, Rise of the Zombies is not that movie.
* In all truth, more of a low budget independent film that a Poverty Row production. 
Which isn't to say we didn't enjoy this movie, because much like we like enjoy eating lard mixed with bacon bits spread on bread — called "schmalzbrot" over here in Germany — we enjoyed watching Rise of the Zombies: it's cheesy and trashy and has nary an original bone in its body, but it does instigate many a giggle and belly laugh and even an occasional cheaply made gore shock. We would be seriously hard-pressed to recommend it to anyone, and would likewise indeed tell all zombie fans to give this bow-legged baby a wide berth, but for the least-demanding out there — those who, say, prefer a soggy Big Mac to a freshly made BBQ burger, for example, or an American Bud to a Czech Bud — well, to paraphrase an advert we all know, "This movie's for you". Eat your Cheez Wiz and enjoy your brain rot — but the rest of you people out there, well, it ain't like you should actually seek out this piece of cheap Velveeta and make a night of it.
Born as a TV movie under the oddly familiar name Dead Walking, at the latest by the time the flick was released on DVD the title had metamorphosed into the slightly less blatantly derivative Rise of the Zombies. The main plot revolves around various survivors of a zombie apocalypse who leave the limited safety of their refuge on Alcatraz Island and more or less almost all end up dead. A few, however, do survive — probably those who cost the least — and fly off in an open ending for a possible sequel.
TV Promo:
About the only truly original concept of the Rise of the Zombies is their explanation of what the cause is, but like all zombie films — and despite the amount of time spent on the concept of finding a vaccine — it is merely the MacGuffin for the zombie attacks, kills, chases, gut munching and blood flow that are the modern zombie flick. As the story progresses, a mildly knowledgeable viewer can almost name the earlier movies any given idea comes from: refuge on an island, Romero's Survival of the Dead (2009 / trailer); a virus that infects in seconds, 28 Days Later (2002 / trailer); pregnant women and an open-ended escape by helicopter, the original Dawn of the Dead (1978 / German trailer); pregnant women and/or zombie babies, Dawn of the Dead remake (2004 / trailer); a character who prefers suicide to life in a zombie world and/or taking refuge in a prison, The Walking Dead; the savage amputation of a bitten hand with a machete, Day of the Dead (1985 / trailer); etc. etc. etc. Rise of the Zombies is very much a cookie-cutter movie, the script of which comes across as if someone adapted the Burroughs & Gyson cut-up technique using past zombie screenplays to make a new one.
Like many an Asylum film, the little star power of the movie is based primarily on has-beens, the biggest still-viable name being the character actor Danny Trejo. Not surprisingly, he's one of those who doesn't survive until the end — that probably would've stretched the budget too much. The other recognizable names are LeVar Burton, who looks a bit like he should give up on the transporter and take up jogging, and Mariel Hemingway, whose acting varies so extremely from excellent to terrible that it becomes easy to understand why she works best as a character actress: she can act, but obviously not for any extended period of time. (One of the best scenes of the entire film, by the way, is when she threatens Trejo with a knife and — OH MY GOD! — he tries to act scared! It was a moment that had us writhing on the floor in unadulterated mirth.)
For all its derivativeness and narrative flaws, what truly undoes Rise of the Zombies is the sloppy filmmaking. For example: it would seem that the zombie extras were never told whether they are fast or slow zombies, for speed changes scene to scene or even within the same scene. Likewise, though the streets are empty of life, whenever there's an overhead shot of the city or park, we learn that zombies can drive cars and trucks and some even seem to like jogging. And how the fuck did the concept of zombies climbing up the side of the Golden Gate Bridge ever get green-lighted? Or the opening scene in which the idiot driving the car down a deserted Lombard Street doesn't have enough common sense to slow down? And where do all zombies go half the time? And how the hell did the zombies get from the shores of Alcatraz into Alcatraz so quickly? Did no one close any doors behind themselves? It's these and dozens of other sloppy oversights that help make sure that this piece of product never really rises above the level of sub-standard.
As previously mentioned, the flick was originally released as a TV movie, and indeed Rise of the Zombies has a very TV feel to its narrative — though it feels less like a cheap TV movie than a mega-cheap TV pilot. First the introduction of the possible fodder, then the catalyst that separates the group so as to develop multiple storylines — four, excluding the pregnant woman who survives Lombard Street at the start of the movie — and then the events that befall the various groups. But whereas real TV series like The Walking Dead take weeks if seasons to resolve the various threads and introduce new ones, in Rise of the Zombies it's all sped up so that almost everything gets resolved by the final scene (leaving only one group alive for the possible sequel). Few of the characters remain around long enough to truly make an impression, and philosophical or interpersonal questions are dealt with at double speed — the latter an advantage, as all the questions about faith versus science and life versus death and love and friendship really don't ring true in the movie.
Whatever. As is the case with all Asylum movies, it is sort of beside the point to talk about the flaws because the whole movie is more or less made of flaws. Still, Rise of the Zombies is one of the company's better films, as such it does have an idiotic, mindless appeal, sort of like a train wreck of a model train filled with hamsters that actually turns out bloody. Don't search it out, but if there ain't nothing else around, Rise of the Zombies is possibly more fun than suicide.

Short Film: Tea Time (USA, 2007)

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Here's an effective little short film that we find a wonderful example of making something with (virtually) nothing. Tea Time tells the tale of an elderly woman preparing some tea for herself and her husband...
Tea Time was originally made for an annual Los Angeles film event called "Attack of the 50 Ft. Reels" in which all participants shoot an entire story on one roll of Super-8 film and then turn in the unprocessed footage and a separately prepared soundtrack. So, in other words, the film is shot in order and edited in the camera itself.
The elderly lady is played by Regina Mocey, who has also appeared in small parts in a couple of independent movies, including Kill House (2006 / trailer). She does pretty well in Tea Time considering there was no opportunity for re-shoots. (You find her blog here.) The husband is played by Gary-7, who can also be found somewhere in films as varied as Zombie Night (2013 / trailer) and The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi(2009 / trailer). The sparse but highly effective music was composed by Sukho Lee, who later directed this dull music videousing the same concept: Super-8, shot in order and edited in camera.
The director and, one assumes, writer of the short movie is Erik Deutschman, seen here to the left. We could not find much current information about him, but in 2001 he was among those chosen by filmmaker magazineto feature in their article "25 New Faces of Independent Film". Since then he seems to have flown mostly under the radar.
Still, what Deutschman says in the article explains why Tea Time works so well: "I like to use old-school techniques, like in-camera multiple exposures, exposing directly on the negative, optical illusions and stop-motion animation." Deutschman's most successful short film to date, in regard to public response in any event, seems to be Split(1999 / full short), which no one less than Clive Barker calls "an exceptional movie, a startling original vision". We here at A Wasted Life, however, prefer the less-arty no-budget horrors of Tea Time.

R.I.P.: Harry H. Novak, Part XII: 1976–77

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12 January 1928 — 26 March 2014



"When I was a kid, my Daddy told me, 'There's a buyer for everything.' And I lived to find out that he was right."
Harry H. Novak

Harry H. Novak, alongside David F Friedman (24 Dec 1923 — 14 Feb 2011) one of the great (s)exploitation kings of the last half of the 20th century, died 26 March 2014 at the age of 86.
A detailed career review of all the projects Harry H. Novak foisted upon the American public would be Sisyphean task at best and hardly possible, as no full and unequivocal list exists. What follows is a review of the films that we found that, for the most part, probably had Novak's involved somewhere along the way — and some that may not have. It is definitely not a complete list, and definitely not infallible, it is merely culled from sources reliable and unreliable that we found online. We also in no way suggest that the given release dates are the correct ones, they are merely the first ones we found.
If you know any we missed, feel free to send the title...


Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II: 1956-64
Go here for Part III: 1965-66
Go here for Part IV: 1967
Go here for Part V: 1968
Go here for Part VI: 1969
Go here for Part VII: 1970
Go here for Part VIII: 1971
Go here for Part IX: 1972
Go here for Part X: 1973
Go here for Part XI: 1974-75



Ceremony — The Ritual of Love
(1976, dir. Fred Sand)

Not to be confused with the 1965 mondo documentary Ritual of Love, poster below, about which we could find nada.
In general, Harry Novak wasn't to verbal about his activities in the hardcore branch, but he was active there, too, as a producer, distributor and an occasional director (as "H. Hershey"). Aside from working together regularly with the "Ed Wood of porn", Carlos Tobalina, whose firm Hollywood International Film Corporation of America (HIFCOA) was extremely active in making cheap hand-helpers, Novak also was active in triple-X with his firm Valiant International Pictures.
In the case of this triple-X movie here, an online search at US Copyright Office (done 7 July 2014) revealed that Harry Novak and Valiant International Pictures applied for a copyright to Ceremony — The Ritual of Love, which is good enough a reason for us to take a closer look at it.
Many of the movies for which Novak applied for the copyright, he did with some guy named Burt Steiger, a fellow exploitation film producer and the man behind such noteworthy trash as auteur Albert Pyun's Vicious Lips (1986 / see below) and the Rudy Ray Moore (17 Mar 1927 — 19 Oct 2008) vehicles Rude (1982), Disco Godfather (1979 / trailer) and Petey Wheatstraw (1977 / a fan trailer).
Music Number from Vicious Lips (1986) — 
Mary Ellen Quinn sings Light Years Away:
"Fred Sand" is a either pseudonym or one-load-wonder, for he never made another film under that name. Scriptwriter Dean Rogers, on the other helping hand, wrote many a visual aid, including the supposed Novak production Cry for Cindy aka Abduction of Cindy (1976 / full NSFW movie) and pornos of little or lesser or greater fame, such as SexWorld (1978) and Dixie Ray Hollywood Star (1983 / first NSFW 11 minutes) — the latter with Cameron Mitchell in a non-sex role.
The plot of Ceremony — The Ritual of Love? Well, on porn sites across the web they say: "During a wedding, we flash back to some of the sexual escapades between the people attending the ceremony. This film has it all — steamy group sex, threesomes, nasty interracial couplings, lesbian vignettes and anal escapades! Set amidst the free sex era of the '70's, this is one wedding to attend!"

Among the genitals seen in action are those of heavenly-breasted Desiree West, seen above, (aka Azure Té, Dee Marshall, Jo Jo Gumm, Fat Lee, Rayha Teresee, Desirée West, Desirée, Dee Dee Willing, Patty Lester, Desire West, Desiree, Pat Lee, Patricia Lee, Pat Desado, Susie Sung Lee), 35DD-24-36, of Spirit of Seventy Sex (1976 / a few NSFW hairy minutes) and Sweet Savage (1979 / dull SFW scene), among many films; one of the first female African American porn semi-stars she, regrettably, was usually only given supporting roles. In Ceremony — The Ritual of Love, she plays a stereotypical black housemaid named Mae and bonks a hirsute Tim (Jeff Lyle) under the eyes of the house mistress (Sharon Thorpe of Love Slaves [1976 / full NSFW movie or Desiree West's 14-minute scene]). Among those in Ceremony — The Ritual of Love whose genitals we do not see for a change is John Seeman, of the classic what-the-fuck fuck film Hardgore (1974 / full NSFW movie); he plays the minister.
Kristine Heller, who stars as Nikki, the bride-to-be, and can be seen in Mary! Mary! (1977 / full NSFW movie), Tobalina's The Ultimate Pleasure (1977 / NSFW movie) and the "classic"7 Into Snowy (1978 / NSFW lesbian scene), died in 1989. According to Luke Is Back, her former boyfriend, former porn lead and now porn director Paul Thomas, said: "She had a big problem between her Catholic upbringing, and her thing in porno. She had some problems and left the business. Ever hear of the Elizabeth Clare Prophet group? She joined a cult in southern California. I went down and followed her. She quit the cult then went back dancing for the Mitchell Brothers just for the money. But she would study her religion at night. I hadn't talked to her for years and found out she committed suicide about ten years ago." 



Kidnapped Coed
(1976, writ & dir. Frederick R. Friedel)


Trailer to
Kidnapped Coed:
Aka Trouble, Date with a Kidnapper and House of Terror. Any resemblance to James Hadley Chase's book No Orchids for Miss Blandish or any of the movies the novel inspired — No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948 / trailer below), Don't Ever Leave Me (1949), La chair de l'orchidée (1975 / scene) and The Grissom Gang (1971) — is possibly intentional. Auteur Frederick R. Friedel went on to write and direct the horror film Lisa Lisa aka California Axe aka The Virgin Slaughter (1977), also fingered by Novak, and the comedy My Next Funeral (2000 / trailer), not fingered by Novak and already forgotten.
Trailer to
No Orchids for Miss Blandish:



Critical Condition, which says the movie is "competently-made and good for a quick viewing", explains the plot: "Eddie Mattlock (Jack Canon, also seen in Maximum Overdrive [1986 / trailer] and Weekend at Bernie's [1989 / trailer]) kidnaps pretty, young coed Sandra Morley (Leslie Ann Rivers, also seen in Reform School Girls [1986 / trailer] and Guilty as Charged [1991 / a trailer]), the daughter of wealthy industrialist Franklin Morley (the voice of director Frederick R. Friedel), and hopes to hit the jackpot by demanding a large ransom for her safe return. Eddie and Sandra are about to have an event-filled 48 hours. Their first stop is a seedy hotel where Eddie plans to hold Sandra until the ransom is paid. Little does he know that the hotel has been taken over by a pair of psychos (Larry Lambeth [9 April 1938 — 7 Dec 2011] of The Electric Chair [1976] and Hot Summer in Barefoot County [1974], and Jim Blankinship), who barge into their room, beat and tie-up Eddie to a chair and force him to watch one of them rape a tied-up Sandra on the bed. Eddie frees himself and shoots the two psychos in the balls. He then takes Sandra to an abandoned barn, somewhere on the backroads of the Carolinas, where they are interrupted by four old biddies on a bird-watching expedition. We learn why Eddie is kidnapping Sandra: He needs the money to keep his wheelchair-bound mother (Gladys Lavitan) in a nursing home. Pretty soon Eddie and Sandra fall in love and must deal with a shotgun-wielding farmer and a crazy old coot with a pitchfork. Sandra freaks out when she sees Eddie kill the old coot and she runs away into the arms of a blind man (Skip Lundby). Eddie catches up and calms her down. He then calls his mother to tell her that he and Sandra are in love and are going to get married. His mother's response: 'You're no good, just like your father. Damn you! Damn you!' Eddie and Sandra pick up the ransom and then go to a bar, where they drink, dance and do impressions to celebrate their love and good fortune. Their good fortune doesn't last too long as three punks rush into the bar, rob everyone and steal Eddie's car, which contains the ransom money. The End."
Full Movie —
Hot Summer in Barefoot County (1974):
TV Guide likes the film, saying that its "an engaging drive-in movie that suggests little-known filmmaker Frederick R. Friedel is no small talent" and that "this low-budget psychodrama [...] transcends its exploitation trappings with sufficient personal vision to make you wonder about the career the filmmaker could have had with more luck and resources. [...] Though occasionally draggy, the film's everyday mundanity nonetheless strikes a chord [...]. The decent cinematography likewise has moments of unexpected loveliness for a B-picture. While not quite a lost gem, this movie's a worthy diamond-in-the-rough. Shot in North Carolina [...]."
According to Brian Albright's book Regional Horror Films 1958-1990, "In 2007, Friedel re-edited Axe (1974) and Kidnapped Coed into a new [short] film called Bloody Brothers which recast Canon's characters as twins. He also made a [short] film called Squish! (2007 / trailer) with his wife Jill Jaxx." (According to Fab Press, "Squish! is the moving tale of an escaped mental patient who hides out in a factory full of huge industrial presses!"Bloody Brothers, in turn, is about "Psycho twins separated at birth embark on separate, simultaneous, violent sprees across the North Carolina landscape, all the while closing the distance between each other, and their inevitable respective fates.") Singing instructor Jill Jaxx plays a waitress in the Linda Blair exploiter, Savage Streets (1984 / trailer below).
Trailer to
Savage Streets (1984):

 



Rattlers
(1976, dir. John McCauley)


Trailer to
Rattlers:
Novak was there as executive producer and distributor. Director John McCauley co-wrote Rattlers with Jerry Golding; 12 years later, in 1988, McCauley finally directed another movie, the equally forgotten horror flick Deadly Intruder (Danish trailer); he might also have appeared as a "Farmer" in the 1992 movie The Gun in Betty Lou's Handbag (1992 / trailer). According to some sources, Rattlers is in the public domain.
According to lazarillo from Denver, Colorado, and Santiago, Chile, Rattlers is "The Plan 9 of killer snake movies," while Final Girl says "Oh, Rattlers, I can't help but love you. You're not 'good', but who cares? You epitomize the 1976 drive-in experience, and sometimes that's all that really matters to me. [...] You feature a scienceologist (Sam Chew of Time Walker [1982 / trailer below] and Scarab [1983 / trailer]) and a photogologist (Elisabeth Chauvet) engaging in battles of the wits concerning women's lib... before they fall in love and have a romantic night dancing and making out by a fountain in Vegas. You feature amazing toupees, a love theme, whiny divorcées getting offed in the bathtub, long stretches where nothing happens, Army cover-ups, nerve gas... and yes, rattlesnakes — but only a lethargic few, craftily edited to give the appearance of a hostile many. Yes, Rattlers, when I watch you it's like I'm somewhere else entirely — watching a crappy movie under the stars instead of a ceiling."
Trailer to
Time Walker (1982):



Critical Conditionfollowed the plot: "Any PG-rated film that opens with two little boys getting bitten to death by a den of rattlesnakes in the Mojave Desert can't be all bad. Or can it? The Mojave Police Department bring in herpetologist Tom Parkinson (Chew) and photographer Ann Bradley (Chauvet) to help in the investigation. More deaths occur (an entire family killed by the snakes during dinner time; a plumber has a snake crawl up his pant leg; a lady taking a bath gets attacked by snakes crawling out of the drain) and our intrepid duo still cannot figure out why the snakes are attacking in such a vicious manner until they visit the local U.S. Army base and meet the dastardly Colonel Stroud (Dan Priest of Moon of the Wolf [1972 / a trailer] and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer [1998 / trailer]). It seems the Colonel has been dumping an experimental nerve gas, called CT3, in an abandoned mine without authorization. The gas is leaking, causing the snakes to go on a murderous hunting spree. Fearing a cover-up, Tom and Ann investigate the Colonel and the tight security at the base. When two Army soldiers [...] are savagely killed by the snakes, a drunk Army doctor (Ron Gold) bucks the Colonel's orders and helps Tom and Ann. This leads them to the abandoned mine and the main den of killer rattlesnakes. After they are attacked by the snakes in their tent and Ann is bitten, Tom goes after the Colonel. The Colonel kills the alcoholic doctor and goes to the mine to cover-up his crimes. After a brief shootout, the Colonel blows himself and the mine up with a hand grenade, trapping the snakes and ending their assault. Or does it?"
The Full Movie —
Rattlers:





Tanya
(1976. dir. Nate Rogers [as "P. Duncan Fingersnarl"])


"Every soldier needs his piece!"

And every exploitation filmmaker needs his timely topic: the trial of Patricia Campbell "Patty" Hearst, nee "Tania", began on January 15th of the year Novak tossed this movie into the grindhouses, 1976. Prior to becoming known for her appearances in John Waters movies, as some might remember, Patty Hearst was one of the US's most famous kidnapping victims and sufferers of the Stockholm Syndrome: a newspaper heiress, she was snatched by the left-wing urban guerrilla group called the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA) and in no short order changed her name to "Tania" and joined the cause.
Rogers' low-budget softcore comedy is surely the first movie made to capitalize on the case, and its basic plot echoes the reality, as the current (9 Dec 2014) plot description found at Wikipedia reveals: "The lead character, Charlotte Kane (Maria Arnold, as "Trish Avis", of the retarded Meatcleaver Massacre [1977 / trailer], Ed D. Wood Jr.'s 'Necromania': A Tale of Weird Love! [1971 / scene], Tom DeSimone's Prison Girls [1972 / trailer below] and the infamous Angel Above — The Devil Below [1974 / trailer audio]), is [the] 20-year-old heiress of a newspaper mogul. She is kidnapped by five sex-crazed pseudo-revolutionaries who call themselves 'The Symphonic Liberation Army' [...]. Charlotte is quickly converted to their cause and changes her name to Tanya."
The synopsis fails to note that more than anything else, Tanya and the rest spend their time screwing.
Trailer to
Tom DeSimone's Prison Girls (1972):

prison girlsvon grindhouse-Horror-Movies
As far as we can tell, neither director Nate Rodgers nor scriptwriter Charles Townsend (assuming that's a real name) ever made another movie.
Grimly Fiendish, which finds this version of the Patty Hearst story "more enjoyable than that ridiculously boring Paul Schrader version", concedes: "Even with that said, the movie doesn't have much of a plot. The movie begins with a long-haired newscaster who's reading an introduction to the film with the script wide open. [...] After we see the guy reading off the script, we cut to the plot, which alternates between sex scenes, and scenes of the group talking politics. It goes like that, back and forth, until the end. The sex is half softcore, half hardcore. No blowjobs, no visible penetration, but the muff-diving is pretty much real. [...] Only negative is that one of the terrorists that has sex is a slightly over-weight, balding redhead dude that gets it on with almost every girls. Some people just shouldn't fuck on camera."
DVD Talk and DVD Verdict are both of the opinion that "the vast majority of this film's 78 minute narrative is nothing but naughtiness. At first, it's the SLA members who get it on in various racial and lifestyle permutations. [...] But once Charlotte turns Tanya, and horny, it's nonstop nookie for everyone. Tanya uses sex to keep the group together, to get what she wants — even to pass the time of day. There is so much fake forking going on here that it's almost impossible to see a point beyond the porking. Yet Charles Townsend's script does try for a little Airplane! (1980 / trailer) style irreverence. A smarmy TV anchorman cracks jokes at the movie's expense while we experience another sequence of slap and tickle. There is even a surreal scene involving Cinque ("B.B. Hinds"), some Raid, and the oppressors that 'bug' him. [...] In essence, a film like Tanya signals the decided death knell for exploitation. Pushing the boundaries of softcore to the very limits, and occasionally stomping right over them, movies like these want to compete directly with their pure penetration counterparts. Unfortunately, without the XXX factor, they come off as ludicrous and lame."
The SLA leader Cinque ("B.B. Hinds"), and fellow SLA member Priscilla Stall (Susan Ayers as "Melodie Hartnet"), both of whom had non-existent film careers, only seem to have appeared in one other movie, the 3-D extravaganza Black Lolita (1975), aka, in its truncated non-porn version, Wildcat Women.

NSFW Trailer to
Wildcat Women aka Black Lolita:

Wildcat Women (1975)von bmoviebabe
Also to be seen somewhere, in her last movie role: former B-movie blonde Mary Beth Hughes (13 Nov 1919 — 27 Aug 1995), of The Women (1939 / trailer), Inner Sanctum (1948 / full movie), I Accuse My Parents (1944 / full moive), Highway Dragnet (1954 / full movie), The Lady Confesses (1945 / full movie), The Great Flamarion (1945 / full movie), The Ox-Bow Incident (1943 / trailer), and more.
According to the movie's imaginative credits, Tanya is based on a play called Take My Virtue But Not My Dignity which, in turn, was supposedly based on a novel called Daughter of an Empire, Mother of a Revolution by Broderick Turntwist. The director of photography, "Otto Focus", went on to do the photography for two later Novak porn movies Moments of Love (1984) and Inspirations (1983).



Woman in the Rain
(1976, dir. Paul Hunt)

Aka Murha sateessa. Novak handled the theatrical distribution of what may well be a lost movie, as there is nothing to be found online about it that in any way infers that anyone has seen it. That's why we didn't take the bother to look at it in our R.I.P. Career Review of the surfer Paul Hunt way back in 2011: we couldn't find anything about the movie online.
This time around, we fared only slightly better, though much of what we have to say is also only assumption, if based on clues. The foreign version above, at least, can be found occassionally as a VHS on ebay Europe. 

We were able to locate a plot description, in German, in Das größte Filmlexikon der Welt at Zweitazusandeins, where the movie (as "Damals im Regen", which means "Back Then in the Rain") is listed as being produced in 1983 and released on video in 1991. Their lean description, more or less translated, reads: "In an interview, a female singer tells everything about her relationship with her husband, who was shot dead years previously, and her lovers. Built upon flashbacks, the film narrates a flimsy story full of dramatic holes."
Paul Hunt pulled in a lot of people in the twilight of their careers for this movie, the most notable of which is the author Steve Fisher (29 Aug 1912 — 27 March 1980), an unjustly under-appreciated pulp author and later screenwriter whose oeuvre of novels demands rediscovery and re-appreciation; among many projects of note, Fisher wrote the novel (and worked on the screenplay) to one of the great, influential and oddly forgotten film noirs, I Wake Up Screaming (1941), a film we can only recommend.
Trailer to
I Wake Up Screaming (1941):
More than one website out there lists A Hell-Black Night as the AKA title of Woman in the Rain, and the poster far above, in some language unknown to us, also claims that the movie is a cinematic adaptation of Steve Fisher's crime novel A Hell-Black Night: A Novel of Terror, a cover of which we present below. The only online description of the novel's plot that we could find doesn't jive 100% with the film description above, but that isn't rare: "Kelly Saunders, a divorcee around whom and because of whom the murder would be committed, had climbed into her bed only an hour or so before, and for a while was unaware of the storm, of life, death, sex, her tormenting problems — of anything. Kelly was a beautiful blonde, not yet thirty-three years old. She had gone to bed before midnight because it seemed despite all her recent wild telephone calls and weird longer-range schemes not a single, solitary thing was working out."
Other career twilighters, desperate actors, and minor names in the film include actor/director Alex Nicol (20 Jan 1916 — 29 July 2001) of The Night God Screamed (1971 / full movie), Point of Terror (1973 / trailer) and The Curse of the Screaming Skull (1958 / trailer / full movie); Stanley Adams (7 April 1915 — 27 April 1977) of Act of Vengeance / Rape Squad (1974 / trailer); director/writer/actor Norma Foster (13 Dec 1903 — 7 July 1976), of The Deathhead Virgin (1974 / scene), Kiss the Blood Off My Hands (1948 / trailer), Woman on the Run (1950 / full movie) and Journey Into Fear (1943 / scene); TV character actor Ron Masak of Laserkill (1978 / trailer); TV comic actress Mary Frann (27 Feb 1943 — 23 Sept 1998) of the Tobe Hooper TV horror flick I'm Dangerous Tonight (1990 / trailer); Kyle Johnson of Brother on the Run (1973 / scene) and Pretty Maids All in a Row (1971 / Trailer from Hell); and TV actress BarBara Luna of The Concrete Jungle (1982 / trailer below).
Trailer to
Concrete Jungle:

 



Angels
(1976, dir. & writ. Spencer Compton)

Possibly not a Novak film, but some sites claim it was and Something Weird released it as a double feature with Getting into Heaven (1970) as part of their "Harry Novak Presents" series — so we say it it.
Aka as Frivolous Meadows, supposedly. Despite what the original titles (Angels) might seem to promise, however, we ain't talking sexy babes here: it's counter-culture humor time. As far as we can tell, it is also the only directorial credit of Compton, who went on to cowrite the screenplay to future hack auteur Ulli Lommel's Cocaine Cowboys (1979 / Andy Warhol). Compton co-wrote Angels with Richard Power and Drew Abrams, the latter of whom also acts in the movie. All three seem to have left the business soon after. (Could this man here — "he was a screenwriter and film producer"— be the same Spencer Compton?)
Over at imdb, only two people who have seen the movie deemed it worth writing about. One, sirarthurstreebgreebling II, calls the movie "a highly neglected 70's classic", while the other, movieman_kev from United States, says the flick is "unfunny, boring, pathetic and a waste of film" and explains the plot as "A black god (David Bryant of The Black Gestapo [1975 / full movie]) sends two hit-men to kill earthlings".
Trailer to
The Black Gestapo:
Blue Ray Authority, which points out the obvious — "[Angels] isn't suited for devout Bible-thumpers, but for fans of exploitation, it's a fun release. If you're offended by naked angels, a black God, or assassins serving a divine cause, then Angels is a lock to upset you"— offers a bit more plot detail: "The realm of heaven is as good as ever, but a slow death rate has caused a shortage in new arrivals. The world is filled with people on the brink of death, but for some reason or another, they manage to survive. In order to get things back on track, God has sent down angels to push those people over the edge, which ensures the ebb and flow of heaven remains intact and that's important. The latest assignment is two angels (former porn actor & current District Attorney for Cortland County Gus Thomas [nee Mark Suben] and Dan McCarthy)* charged with helping a psychotic cowboy named Tex (character actor Vincent Schiavelli [11 Nov 1948 — 26 Dec 2005] of Milo [1998] and much more), who is trying to murder Leon DeWilde (Drew Abrams), an artist. Leon is obsessed with death and has an immense fear of it, so it won’t be an easy task. Tex manages to off Leon's mime (Keith Berger, also seen somewhere in Automatic [1995 / trailer below]) and do some damage to his girlfriend (Marquita Callwood, seen below), but Leon himself escapes. But when a showdown looms and even God is on hand to watch, can Leon manage to stay alive?"
Trailer to
Automatic (1995):
We're unsure how a flick like this one can push any homophob buttons, but it did for whoever writes for DVD Verdict& Pop Matters, who obviously finds his latent homosexual tendencies threatening: "What in the name of nudity possessed Harry Novak, purveyor of rather solid soft-core sex farces and champion of the grindhouse grift, to release Angels? [...] Maybe Harry thought that, with the advent of Sheilds and Yarnell and Doug Henning, the world was ready for a movie co-starring wistful, effeminate manboys, one of which specializes in the deadest of ancient arts — the pantomime. Really, there is nothing here for or by or to remotely engorge the well-worn exploitation enthusiast. The scorecard of carnality is putrid. There is a half-topless shot thirty minutes into the narrative, and some completely under the cover horizontal handsprings at the forty-five minute mark. But the rest of the movie is like one big long inferred homosexual brain buster, since the film is chockfull of gay imagery, queer suppositions, and way too many sequences of well-muscled mime. Sure, this could all be chalked up to the mid-'70s retreat into an 'anything with anyone goes' attitude that seemed to welcome disco and its 54 feyness right through the velvet ropes. But the movie just makes no sense as a sellable item. It doesn't have anything novel or naughty to say about how the Lord works, either in mysterious or (as in this case) monotonous ways. And the avant-garde art angle of exploring entities on videotape the moment before they die sounds like a bad dream Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross once had. Kind of like a bong-hit version of Peeping Tom (1960 / trailer), Angels wants to say something cogent about accepting life after death via the Sony camcorder. Unfortunately, it does so with a Fire Island road company version of Godspell (1973)."
Trailer to
Godspell:

 



Cry for Cindy
(1976, dir. Anthony Spinelli [as Wendy Lions])

Trailer to
Cindy& More:
"Presented by Harry Novak" some years ago at Something Weird as a DVD-R release. Aka Abduction of Cindy. (The full NSFW Movie can currently be found at this porn site here.)
 
Under any title, a relatively early production from the productive porn filmmaker Anthony Spinelli, born Samuel Weinstein [21 Feb 1927 — 29 May 2000]. Spinelli was the younger brother of character actor Jack Weston (21 Aug 1924 — 3 May 1996), whom we best remember from Fuzz (1972 / trailer) and The Ritz (1976).
Trailer to
The Ritz (1976):

Spinelli's son, Mitch Spinelli, followed his daddy's footsteps and is now a productive producer of straight-to-DVD (if not straight-to-some-porn-tube) porn — but whereas daddy's films still had plots and storylines, sonny boy specializes in gonzo porn (titles such as 18, Legal and Latin [2004] and Anal University 12 [2003] reveal the auteur's favorite themes). A far cry from the Golden Age "classics" of daddy, which include Talk Dirty to Me (1980 / credit sequence), Nothing To Hide (1981 / edited trailer) and Dixie Ray Hollywood Star (1983 / NSFW scene).
 
In all truth, however, of all the movies Anthony Spinelli had anything to do with, we would say that his best movie — and the one that touched us the most and in a totally non-sexual way — was one of the first movies he ever "touched", Larry Peerce's moving and very sad independent racial drama One Potato, Two Potato (1964), which he produced (and appeared in) as "Sam Westen".
Clips to
One Potato, Two Potato (1964):
Cry for Cindy is notable for its downer plot — the lead character commits suicide and the events and fuck scenes leading up to it are told in flashback — and, of importance to some, for the adult-film debut of Amber Hunt, the centerspread and Hustler Honey of November, 1975, the issue below. (The film credits even state: "We would like to express our deepest Thanks to publisher Larry Flynt and Hustler Magazine for introducing us to our star, Amber Hunt.")
Hunt went on to do about 20 visual masturbatory aids — including the distasteful A Coming of Angels (1977 / NSFW movie, poster below) the original Candy Stripers (1978 / theme) and Shaun Costello's Fiona on Fire (1978) — and one non-masturbatory aid, Bare Knuckles (1977 / trailer below), before disappearing. Ericaboyer.net is of the opinion that: "This youthful looking stunner was one of the prettiest women to grace the 70s hardcore scene. [...] Although her acting talents were almost non-existent, Amber scored legions of fans [...]. Her tight little figure had curves in all the right places, and she knew just how to use her body to bring any fan to a boil."
Trailer to
Bare Knuckles (1977):
The plot of Cry for Cindy, which was written by Dean Rogers, who also wrote the previously looked at Ceremony — The Ritual of Love (1976), as more or less explained by Dries Vermeulen (dries.vermeulen@hotmail.be) of Brugge, Belgium, at Video Tramp: "Callgirl Cindy (Hunt) flies back after an out-call date with wealthy Arnold (Turk Lyon) and is immediately chastised by sadistic pimp Ben (Jack Wright) for holding out on her earnings. She claims she's supporting a sick aunt yet who should show up but destitute boyfriend Dennis (Fred James), the guy she's putting through medical school thanks to her 'modeling assignments' and who learns the bitter truth right there and then. Heartbroken, Cindy dolls herself up and throws herself out of the window onto the pavement below in an economically and effectively shot and edited sequence involving nothing more than a freeze frame, a spiraling camera and a shocked-reaction shot. Around her coffin, those who knew and loved her remember how kind-hearted hairdresser Anna became high-priced hooker Cindy. [...]"
Among the Golden Age willies seen spurting protein in the movie are the once regularly employed but now forgotten swords of John Seeman — aka Jethro Brunel, Big John Henson, Jeff Box, Jon Seeman, Rolf De Vrees, Robert Koll, Nag Analf, Jay Seemon, Roy Stells, John Simon, John Semen, John Reynolds, John Seemen, John Siman, Bob Stern, John Semany, John A. Seeman, John Seaman, John Toland, John Ocean, John Shipley — of the truly unique horror porn Hardgore (1974), and Ken Scudder — aka Ed Marrow, Michael Mench, Tom Sutter, Ken Marsh, Dick Counter, Ken Cotten, Ken Jackson, Ken Scutter, Kenneth Scudder, Ken S., Stuart Hemple, Rick Jackson, Kenneth Darwin, Larry Layperson, Ken Skudder, Ken Rudd, Kenny Cotton, Ken Cotton, Grant Lombard, Grant Stockton, Ken Scott, Ken Darwin, Ken Redd, Ken Struders, Terence Scanlon, Stuart Hempole — of the underground masterpiece Thundercrack! (1975). 
Both Hardgore and Thundercrack! are imperative viewing for fans of what-the-fuck fuck cinema.

A Scene from the "lost" masterpiece
Thundercrack!

We find it doubtful that a movie like this either went on to be adapted as a book or was based on a book, but during our online search for posters we did stumble upon the two covers below, which we just had to share as well. Vintage Sleaze will sell you either book (both from 1978 ) for $95 each.
Also, Vintage Sleaze says that "While it would seem 'Edward Mitchell' was a house-name first for Publishers Consultants/American Art's Captive Women Series and later Female Prisoner Series, the Edward Mitchell by-line appears in the mid-to-late 80s on some Greenleaf imprint books as well." Anyone know who he was/is?
 



Confessions of a Frustrated Housewife
(1976, writ. & dir. Andrea Bianchi)
Aka Laura, Confessions of a Frustrated Wife and My Father's Wife; original Italian title: La moglie di mio padre. A relatively unknown effort by one of Italy's under-appreciated masters of sleaze, Andrea Bianchi, who has directed many more interesting films, including Maniac Killer (1987 / scene), Massacre (1989 / funny scene), Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981 / Italo trailer), Malabimba — The Malicious Whore (1979 / trailer), Strip Naked for Your Killer (1975 / trailer), Angel of Death (1987 / full movie) and more more more. His co-author for this drama, Massimo Felisatti helped script everyone's favorite, The Night Evelyn Came out of the Grave (1971).
 
Trailer to
The Night Evelyn Came out of the Grave:
We have major doubts that this flick was fondled in any way by Novak, but somewhere online John Harrison calls the movie "an enjoyable slice of Eurotrash from distributor Harry Novak", and who are we to disagree. (Besides, the statement is supported by someone at AV Maniacs.) Harrison goes one to explain the full plot in detail: "The 'frustrated housewife' of the title is Laura (Carroll Baker of Bad [1977 / trailer], Baba Yaga [1973 / trailer] and The Sweet Body of Deborah [1968 / trailer]), whose love life with her impotent husband, Antonio, (Adolfo Celi, the evil Largo in the James Bond flick Thunderball [1965 / trailer]), is on the rocks. Though they lead a jet set life, once the pair hit the sack, things go limp pretty fast. Worried about his manhood, Antonio discusses the problem with a doctor (Luigi Pistilli [19 July 1929 — 21 April 1996] of The Great Silence [1968], Bay of Blood [1971 / trailer], Tragic Ceremony [1972 / trailer] and A White Dress for Marialé [1972 / Italo trailer]) who (amazingly) recommends a dose of infidelity to freshen him up! The good doc even sets up Antonio with a young piece named Madga (Carla Spessato) who quickly gets his limp noodle working again. (She even refers to it as 'Mr. Battering Ram'!) [...] Enter Claudio (Cesare Barro), Antonio's handsome son by his first marriage, who returns to help dad run the business. Claudio senses the tension in the home and, when Antonio takes off on a business trip and asks Claudio to 'take care' of his stepmom, he's more than happy to oblige. Pretty soon, Laura and her virile stepson are getting hot and heavy all over the place. Naturally, Antonio figures out what's going on, disappears on a phony business trip, but returns early to spy on his wife and son through a peephole in the bedroom wall. Old Antonio must be a bit of a swinger (or an old-fashioned pervert), as he bursts in and proposes a threeway: 'Why not? Keep it in the family!' Disgusted, Laura storms out and heads for the ski slopes with a female friend, unaware that the spurned, quietly enraged Antonio is watching her through the telescopic sight of his high-powered rifle..."
First 45 Minutes of
Confessions of a Frustrated Housewife:

La moglie di mio padre (1976 English Language...von heapsoflovehide


 Lisa, Lisa
(1977, writ. & dir. Frederick R. Friedel)
 

Trailer:
Aka California Axe, Virgin Slaughter, California Axe Massacre and Axe; distributed by Novak. Auteur Frederick R. Friedel also directed the Novak project Kidnapped Coed (also 1976 — see above) and went on to write and direct the non-Novak and already forgotten comedy My Next Funeral (2000 / trailer below). In Europe, for some odd reason this movie can often be found on a four-film Lucio Fulci DVD alongside another Novak film, Zombie Child (1977 / trailer), and two "real" Fulci films, Nightmare Concert (1990 / trailer) and Demonia (1990 / trailer). Lisa, Lisa enjoys a certain amount of fame for being one of the many films once banned in England as a "video nasty".
Trailer to
Friedel's My Next Funeral (2000):
Lisa, Lisa— which, if we are to believe the current (22 July 2014) "Trivia" entry on imdb — was shot in 11 days and had so little film stock available that the option of retakes was not there — is one of those movies that seems to separate the masses. Popular enough to have both its own facebook page as well as more than one badly done, fan-made webpage, it also often instigates reactions like that of Critical Condition, which says "There's not much to recommend here. There's too much dizzying hand-held camera work, bad two-note piano music and not enough blood to qualify it as a must for gore hounds."
An opinion not shared by Women in Prison Films, which calls the movie "one of the most underrated, unheralded horror films ever made, and possibly the best film Harry Novak's Boxoffice International ever released. Terse, fast-moving, and scuzzy as all hell, and it makes you wish producer/director/screenwriter/actor Frederick Friedel made more than three movies."

An opinion definitely not shared by All Movie, which, in its less than accurate plot description, says: "Released originally under the title Lisa, Lisa, this seedy murder-fest was later re-titled during drive-in circulation then again for its video release in 1985 as The California Axe Massacre to capitalize on the hype of another new arrival to video, Tobe Hooper's cult classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 / trailer). The film itself (actually filmed in North Carolina, not California) has little in common with Hooper's hit; the bloody revenge scenario is more reminiscent of Wes Craven's Last House on the Left (1972 / trailer). It involves a gang of grimy fugitives who hole up in the rural abode of a pretty but unstable young woman (Leslie Lee) and proceed to abuse her and her grandfather (Douglas Powers). [...]."
We here at A Wasted Life, however, see a closer kinship to the original I Spit on Your Grave (1978 / trailer below), but that film actually followed Lisa, Lisa.
Trailer to the original
I Spit on Your Grave (1978):
In any event, guy who does the badly done fan website actually saw the movie, and has a much more on-the-mark synopsis, from start to finish (Spoilers!): "Three killers lurk within a darkened room, waiting for their target to return home. When the unsuspecting victim opens the door, he and his companion are held at gunpoint and severely beaten by the trio; so severely that one of them dies while the other jumps to his death out the window. With his death hanging over their heads, the three men — Steele, the sadistic leader (Jack Canon); Lomax, the nerveless triggerman (Ray Green); and Billy, the youngest and least prepared to have just become a murderer (Frederick R. Friedel [seen below looking stupid]) — need a place to hide out for awhile. Driving around the back roads of a rural eastern community, they spot a market where they can pick up some supplies for their time underground. Inside the store, they show their ugly side as they throw food at the helpless salesgirl (Carol Miller of Caged Heat [1974 / trailer]), force her to undress, and finally place an apple on her head for target practice. Billy has been waiting for them in the car and becomes nervous about the gunfire he can hear from inside. Later on, they select an isolated old house to hole up in. It seems to be a farmhouse with little activity going on — a perfect place to avoid detection. They barge in and find a young girl, Lisa, and her grandfather who is paralyzed and spends his entire day in a wheelchair, unable to speak. The men make Lisa cook for them, and Lomax gets a great sense of sport by taunting the helpless old man. That night, Lomax is unable to sleep, because the sight of the young girl is too much for him. He sneaks out of his room and goes down the hall where Lisa is asleep. He then pounces on her and attempts to rape her. During his attempt, he is unaware that she has reached into her drawer nearby and produced a long straight razor. Without hesitation, she brings it down on the back of his neck, severing it almost completely. Screaming and gurgling in pain, she rolls him off of her. Lisa drags his dead body into the bathroom where she pushes him into the tub. She seizes an axe from the wall and chops him up into little pieces. She loads the various pieces into a trunk and begins to push it down the hall when she is interrupted by Billy. He offers to help, and she gratefully allows him to help her get the trunk up to the attic. Steele begins to get nervous, now that it has become very quiet all of a sudden. He finds Lisa, but she only tells him the others have taken a walk. Thinking little of it, and realizing there are no witnesses around, he decides to get some action for himself. Finding Lisa in her grandfather's room, he attacks her, tearing off her clothes while the grandfather's hand trembles in awareness of what's happening to her, but knowing he can do nothing to stop it. Lisa reaches out and grasps the handle of the firewood axe, and she struggles to bring it high above his head. Then in one moment she brings it crashing down, splitting his skull. Steele slumps to the ground, and Lisa finishes him off with a few good whacks. Billy returns after Lisa has cleaned up the blood and removed the body, and he is disturbed by his missing friends. Lisa tells him not to worry and brings him a bowl of red soup, as she feeds the same to her grandfather. Billy looks around the room curiously, until his eyes rest on a small pool of blood on a log in the fireplace. As he watches, a drop falls into it, then another. He suddenly notices a man's ring in his bowl of red soup. He stands up just as the mutilated body of Steele falls from the chimney into plain view. Unable to believe his eyes, and unwilling to accept that these two people in the room with him were able to commit this atrocity, he runs screaming to the outside just as a police car pulls up. One of the officers recognizes Billy, and orders him to halt. When he doesn't, they shoot him. Upstairs Lisa continues to feed her grandfather the red soup, apparently unaware of what she has just done."
Lisa, Lisa was produced (and edited) by the totally forgotten small-time regional schlockmeister producer / director / actor / special effects artist / man of all trades J.G. "Pat" Patterson, Jr, who helped bring unto this world such films as: H.G. Lewis's Moonshine Mountain ([assistant director / actor] 1964 / trailer), H.G. Lewis's The Gruesome Twosome ([associate producer] 1967 / trailer), H.G. Lewis's How to Make a Doll ([assistant to producer] 1968), H.G. Lewis's She-Devils on Wheels ([assistant to producer] 1968 / trailer), Albert T. Viola's Preacherman ([production manager / actor] 1971 / trailer), Boots and the Preacher ([producer] 1972 / trailer), The Body Shop aka Dr. Gore ([special effects/ writer / director / actor] 1973 / trailer below), William Girdler's Three on a Meathook ([special makeup effects] 1973 / trailer), The Electric Chair ([special effects / writer / director / actor] 1976) and William Grefe's Whiskey Mountain ([actor] 1977 / trailer). J.G. "Pat" Patterson, Jr — a man who worked only with the best, his career was much too short...
Trailer to
The Body Shop aka Dr. Gore
starring J.G. "Pat" Patterson, Jr.:

The Body Shop - aka Doctor Gore- 1973-Trailer 2von pogox

 



Reflections
(1977, dir. Michael Zen)

In general, Harry Novak wasn't to verbal about his activities in the hardcore branch, but he was active there, too, as a producer, distributor and an occasional director (as "H. Hershey"). Aside from working together regularly with the "Ed Wood of porn", Carlos Tobalina, possibly as the firm Hollywood International Film Corporation of America (HIFCOA), he also was active in triple-X with his firm Valiant International Pictures. In the case of this porno movie here, an online search at US Copyright Office (done 7 July 2014) reveals that Valiant International Pictures applied for a copyright to it — good enough a reason for us to take a look at it.
Jason S. Martinko's The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988 lists the movie's production company as unknown, but for that he knows the plot: "Cousin Joan (Annette Haven, seen above) has come to visit for the summer. At the drive-in, she refuses to mess around with her cousin Bob (Paul Thomas), although his sister Connie (Kristine Heller [see: Ceremony — The Ritual of Love]) is having sex in the backseat. Bob becomes so frustrated that his sister masturbates him. It seems when they were kids, they all played doctor together. Eventually, Bob slips Joan a mickey (which she later reveals she didn't drink), and has sex with her while she pretends to be knocked out. It ends with the usual family orgy, but Connie gets revenge on Bob and Joan in an unexpected surprise." Bob's Mother, by the way, is played by Bonnie Holiday; she was pretty, she is dead [24 Sept 1952 — 15 Nov 1988].
Paul Thomas Sings in His Film Début —
As Peter in Jesus Christ Superstar (1973):
Carnal Cinema, which highly recommends Reflections, writes "This is very edgy stuff — made all the more disturbing by excellent performances by the three leads. Thomas, always one of the better male leads, and Heller excel as the degenerate siblings, while the role of the beautiful but untouchable cousin could have been written for Haven. [...] The subject of incest was actually explored — or should I say, exploited — in a number of Golden Age movies, most notably Kirdy Stevens' successful Taboo series. However, even leaving that to one side, there is a dark, transgressive spirit running through Reflections. For example, many of the costumes worn at the climactic party are undeniably grotesque. Indeed, this section features John Leslie being fellated by someone in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style mask. It's neither remotely erotic nor easy to forget. Shortly afterwards, one of the male guests goes to the toilet and finds another receiving a blowjob. The sounds of his urination are deliberately played against the images of a woman eliciting an entirely different form of penile discharge from her ecstatic partner. Of course, most shocking of all is the lengthy sequence in which first Thomas, and then Heller, penetrate the defenseless body of their unconscious cousin. Clearly this is very controversial material and everyone involved deserves considerable credit for participating in such a daring production."
Though a "William Dancer" is credited as the scriptwriter and producer, the real name behind the pseudonym is Daniel Cady — Novak distributed his production The Black Bunch (1973), among others — a producer who began his career in sleaze (Help Wanted Female [1968 / 8.6 minutes], among others) and went through Blaxploitation and horror (Grave of the Vampire [1972 / full movie] and Kiss of the Tarantula [1976 / trailer] among others) and numerous fuck films before, after his last known production, Maria Lease's horror movie Dolly Dearest (1991), like so many before him, disappearing.

Trailer to
Dolly Dearest:
Over at Excalibur Films they have a long bio on the director, Michael Zen, in which they say: "A graduate of the UCLA film program, Michael Zen never quite made it in mainstream Hollywood. Instead, he turned his attention to hardcore and became one of the industry's most innovative and creative talents. He uses his film school background to produce lavish, beautifully shot sex films, features that focus on story and character development as much as on pure sex. He's among the most-honored directors in the business and his films never fail to impress. [...] As time has gone on, Michael Zen films have become increasingly mannered and stylized, sometimes to the detriment of the actual sexual action. He always delivers gorgeous imagery, though, and while his films might not be to everyone's taste, Michael Zen has developed a following that will gladly tune in to his every erotic moment. He continues to shoot steamy sex films for the industry's high end companies, and is without a doubt one of the most important filmmakers in 90s porn."
What they fail to mention throughout the bio is that Zen not only started out in gay porn with the almost hallucinogenic Falconhead (1976 / NSFW trailer), but alternated between straight and gay directorial jobs until the end.




Rituals
(1977, dir. Peter Carter [8 Dec 1933 — 3 June 1982)
 

Novak distributed and co-produced this beloved slice of Cannuck violence. Director Carter also made the drive-in filler High-Ballin' aka Trucker (1978 / trailer), starring Peter Fonda, and the popular cheapie sci-fi flick The Intruder Within (1981 / trailer). Rituals is available in any number of edits, with only the original Canadian one being uncut.
Trailer to
Rituals:
Brain Hammer has some of the details: "Rituals (a.k.a. The Creeper) was shot in 1976 but didn't see an American release until 1978. The film got mixed reviews (the acting was always praised) but was often dismissed as a Canadian Deliverance (1972 / trailer) knock off. The film has gone on to earn a cult following over the years, and one of the reasons this one is considered such a clas-sick is because it combines some incredibly beautiful wilderness locations and genuinely gruesome and unsettling violence. The film ramps up the tension until the final scenes, which are punishingly brutal. The highlight of the film is undoubtedly the legendary head on a stick shot, but the cauterization and burning scenes are also jaw droppers. For a 70s' horror flick this is some truly gruesome, realistic violence. Much credit must be given to the fantastic special make-up by Carl Fullerton (Friday The 13th Part 2 [1981 / trailer] & Part 3 [1982 / trailer]). The Creeper, when we finally get to take a good look at him towards the climax of the film, is one nasty looking bastard."
A Version of the Full Movie at
Internet Archives:

Brutal As Hell likes the "classic backwoods horror/slasher film set up: Toss a group of people in the backwoods and pick them off one by one until you reach the final showdown and to the victor… well the victor gets to live. That should be enough reward. Admittedly, that’s a rather simplistic way of looking at Rituals. After all, so many would-be filmmakers take this formula, run with it, and subsequently fuck it up beyond all recognition. Total FUBAR. Rituals mixes in the perfect balance of character, killer, suspense and gore to prove how truly good and effective this simple formula can be when done right."
They give the plot as follows: "This story surrounds five doctors on their annual reunion getaway who decide to head out into a remote Canadian forest for a six-day hike. Harry (Hal Holbrook of The Fog [1980 / trailer], Creepshow [1982 / trailer] and Girls Nite Out [1982 / trailer]) is the quintessential leader. DJ (Gary Reineke of The Clown Murders [1976 / full movie]) is the hot-headed trip organizer. Mitzi (Lawrence Dane of Behind the Wall [2008 / trailer], Darkman 2 — The Return of Durant (1995 / trailer], Happy Birthday to Me [1981 / trailer] and Bride of Chucky [1998]) will play the thorn in the side of Harry. Marty (Robin Gammell of Bells aka Murder by Phone [1982 / full film], Bone Daddy [1998 / trailer], The Pyx [1973 / full movie https://archive.org/details/ThePyx / trailer], Full Circle aka Haunting of Julia [1977 / full movie] and Nightmares (1983 / trailer]) is Mitzi's friend. A total drunk, but a good friend. And then there is Abel (Ken James of Psychic [1991 / trailer]), who probably shouldn't even be in the outdoors with all of his allergies and incompetence. The only way in or out of the remote hiking ground is by water plane and there is no chance of rescue should things go wrong. [...] It doesn't take long for things to unravel. Only the first day in, and when the men wake up they discover their boots have gone missing. [...] The guys tie plastic bags to their feet and begin to make their way through the treacherous forest, all the while being stalked by an unseen assailant who has laid out a path of intricate traps and dead-falls that will plague the men until they can't endure it anymore. Slowly the group unravels and Harry and Mitzi begin to lock horns and butt heads. If navigating a dangerous forest and fending off a psycho killer wasn't enough, the men can't help but turn on each other. Eventually everything culminates in a bizarre showdown with the killer [...]."

"The Creeper" of the movie is played by Michael Zenon, one of Rituals' assistant directors. Michael Zenon was once an extremely busy assistant director (with roughly 60 A.D. jobs to his name, including Diary of the Dead [2007 / trailer] and the original Gate [1987 / trailer]), but he began his career as an actor alongside Peter Falk (16 Sept 1927 — 23 June 2011) in the forgotten psycho-beatnik exploiter, The Bloody Brood (1959), "a well done b-movie [...] obviously made by people who had no idea about beat culture" (Playground of Doom).
The Full Movie —
The Bloody Brood (1959):

 



The Liberation of Honeydoll Jones
(1977, dir.  Charles Webb as "Charles De Santos")

As mentioned before: In general, Harry Novak wasn't to verbal about his activities in the hardcore branch, but he was active there, too, as a producer, distributor and an occasional director (as "H. Hershey"). Aside from working together regularly with the "Ed Wood of porn", Tobalina, possibly as the firm Hollywood International Film Corporation of America (HIFCOA), he also was active in triple-X with his firm Valiant International Pictures.
In the case of this porno movie here, an online search at US Copyright Office (done 7 July 2014) reveals that Valiant International Pictures applied for a copyright to it — good enough a reason for us to take a look at it.
The career of director Charles Webb — aka Chuck Angel, Charles De Santi, Charles De Santos, Charles DeSantos — spanned from the mid-Golden Age to the video age, and none of his films are considered "classics", though some (like Thoroughly Amorous Amy) get  a bit more positive feedback than others. The Liberation of Honeydoll Jones is not one that gets praised often, though it does sound fun. Going by the look of it, the movie is an X-rated return to the hixploitation films of
Bethel Buckalew. 
Though The Liberation of Honeydoll Jones has little to do with the Hollywood movie The Liberation of L.B. Jones (1970), it does play obviously upon the title of the earlier mainstream release. The plot description found on the back to the recent Honeydoll Jones DVD release describes the film as follows: "Introducing trailer tart Victoria Winter! It's a sex laced Tobacco Road (1941 / full film), a slice of life on the ranch. It is also a rural, ribald Romeo and Juliet. Honeydoll Jones is above all a sensual turn on, but it is filled with many other wild elements. A cross between Macon County Line (1974 / trailer) and The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-85), this white trash tale stars the gorgeous Victoria Winter as the backwoods babe who does anything to leave the trailer park. Some superb and spacey scenes here with marvelous performances all around."
Soundtrack to
The Liberation of L.B. Jones (1970):
Jason S. Martinko's The XXX Filmography, 1968-1988 adds some details: "Honeydoll Jones (Winter) lives on a squatter farm with her Momma (Shirley Stoler, 30 Mar 1929 — 17 Feb 1999, the star of the masterpiece, The Honeymoon Killers [1969 / trailer below]), Daddy (Dale Meador) and two sisters (Tracy O'Neil and Dianne Dale). She's in love with Bobby Jarvis (Blair Harris*), the neighbor's son. Daddy Jarvis (Garry Goodrow**) and the Joneses have been feuding for years, and her sisters tell her to leave him alone. Of course, the traveling salesman (Don Fernando***) wandering into the farmhouse bit is played up. At the end, she finally gets her man. Original music is performed by Rick Nowels."
Trailer to
The Honeymoon Killers:

*Aka "Bruce Murphy, Stephan Niels, Harvey Blair, George Du Bois, Bill Lewis, Blair Morgan, Arnold Black, Blaire Harris, Harre, Blair Rogers, Blair Morse, Blair Morris, Brendan Monet, Thomas Francini, Dave Hartman, Arthur Gray, Tim Long, David Blair, Blair Davis, Eric Blair, and Blaine Harris."
**As far as we can tell, this is the only adult movie that Garry Goodrow, who began his career in arty B&W fare like The Connection (1962) and The Moving Finger (1963), ever appeared in. His daughter in this movie here (feminist porn star Candida Royalle) gives him sloppy head; he kept his penis in his pants for the rest of his career, which includes small roles in movies like Cardiac Arrest (1980 / trailer), The Prey (1984 / trailer), The Lost Empire (1985 / trailer) and Once Bitten (1985 / trailer).
***Fernando, primarily a supporting penis during his active film career (1977-2013), shot loads in over 400 films, including Mario Salieri's Dracula (1994), the art horror porn The Dark Angel (1983) and the highly obscure porno The Rites of Uranus (1975 / full NSFW movie) A recent tweet of his: "Not weighed 155 lbs or been slim since 1985! Available for porn stud work @ US$500 per scene. Call 1800OLD-STUD"




The Child
(1977, dir. Robert Voskanian)


Aka Zombie Child and Kill and Go Hide. Novak produced and distributed this period horror film set somewhere during the 30s in rural USA, the only known film of director Robert Voskanian, who went on to be the director of the fabulous Million Dollar Theater on Broadway in downtown LA for awhile.
Trailer to
The Child:
We here at A Wasted Life have seen The Child and, regrettably, we were less than thrilled by it, ending our review of the movie with the statement: "The Child— another bizarre, bad film that should have been better than it is while simultaneously actually being better than it is. Fans of early gore — as in: no CGI — will definitely find the film satisfying, as will purveyors of cinema obscura. Everyone else might be well advised to watch something else... like the original Night of the Living Dead (1968 / trailer / full movie), perhaps."
TV Guide gave the film, which it calls "a dull supernatural tale set in a remote woodland area", one star and a not exactly 100% on-the-mark plot description, so let's go to Amazon instead and read the plot description given by "cookieman108": "The film opens on a dark and foggy night, where we see a girl visiting a cemetery... she's got a basket with a kitty, and it's feeding time at the graveyard (lovely)... next we cut to the daytime, and we see a young woman named Alicianne Del Mar (Laurel Barnett) driving down a lonely, country road. Some car trouble forces her to hoof it through some fields, and she meets up with Mrs.Whitfield (Ruth Ballan). Turns out Alicianne has been hired by the Nordon family, neighbors of Mrs. Whitfield, to look after Rosalie (Rosalie Cole), the youngest child and the same girl we saw at the outset of the movie. Alicianne trudges to the Nordon's (who happen to live next to a cemetery), and we get to meet the clan, including the curmudgeonly father Joshua (Frank Janson), the older son Len (Richard Hanners), and finally little Rosalie. As Alicianne settles in, she becomes more and more aware of Rosalie's weirdness, particularly her fondness of going the cemetery at night, supposedly visiting her mother's gravesite. In reality, Rosalie's got some funky mojo powers that include, but aren't limited to, her to talking to the dead. In return for her friendship, they perform certain tasks for Rosalie, who seems to blame everyone for the death of her mother. At the insistence of Alicianne, Rosalie's father decides it's time to start exerting his parental control, telling Rosalie she's not allowed out at night any more, to which she scoffs at the old man, telling him he'll get his...and he does, along with a few others, in gruesome fashion, as Rosalie's 'friends' make the scene. Soon after Alicianne learns some horrible truths about creepy girl, she [and her now-beau Len] decides to split, but it ain't that easy, as Rosalie's friends seem numerous, determined, and hungry..."
The Child was written by Ralph Lucas, who that same year supplied the screenplay to James K. Shea's legendary Z-film Planet of the Dinosaurs (full movie) and, in 1992, the story to the totally — justifiably — unknown horror Zippereface (1992 / scenes). He's occasionally appeared in tiny parts in a number of films, including Fred Olen Ray's Beverly Hills Vamp (1989 / trailer), Ray's Mob Boss (1990 / trailer), and Andrew Leman's interesting art horror, The Call of Cthulhu (2005).
Trailer to
The Call of Cthulhu (2005):

 


Hitchhike to Hell
(1977, dir. Irvin Berwick [1914—29 June 1997])
 

Trailer to
Hitchhike to Hell:
More sleaze distributed by Mr. Novak. Hitchhike to Hell was the second-to-last directorial effort of Irvin Berwick, who followed Hitchhike with Malibu High (1979) — written, like this one, by John Buckley — before retiring his megaphone. Berwick, a former dialogue coach, has a limited if intriguing resume of directorial efforts. Aside from the two already mentioned, there are: his debut, the infamous Monster of Piedras Blancas (1959 / trailer); the religious sleaze flick The Seventh Commandment (1961 / trailer); the moralistic sexploiter Strange Compulsion (1964 / trailer); The Street Is My Beat (1966 / book cover below), which was converted into a Monarch Books novel by Carson Bingham (aka Bruce Cassiday [25 Jan 1920 — 12 Jan 2005]) in 1961, five years before the movie itself got released; and the possibly lost Ready for Anything! (1968). Berwick was very much a moralist: his films may have ladled out the sleaze and slime, but damned if all sinners didn't pay in the end.
 
NSFW Trailer to
Strange Compulsion (1964):
Bleeding Skull picked up on Berwick's didactic attempts and points out: "This is a movie with a heavy moral hand: Hitchhiking is dangerous. Don't ride with strangers. You can't make it in the world without solid parental figures. Bad parents have bad children. If you say mean things about your mama, you'll get killed. In one scene, a cop's wife reveals she's pregnant. 'Aren't you glad we're married? I don't want to be one of those unwed mothers.' The overt moral teachings in this movie turns it into an after-school special, though one with boobs. The lessons are tiresome and suck up some — though not all — the fun. Violence and nudity are limited, raping and killing mostly happen off camera. At times the movie really does feel like a lecture when all you want it to do is cut loose and be a classic psycho-mom-has-psycho-son-who-rapes-hitchhikers story. [...]"
B.S. fails to mention, however, that Hitchhike to Hell does leave you feeling a bit dirty even as it hammers in its messages — not many films, then or now, include the rape and murder of an 11 year old and, to take it a step further, a quick shot of her dead body in a dumpster.
Good ol'Critical Condition saw "this tight little exercise in sleaze": (Spoilers) "Mama's boy Howard (Robert Gribbin [who debuted alongside Zalmon King in Trip with the Teacher (1975 / full movie) and is also seen somewhere in Teen Lust (1979 / trailer) and Don't Go Near the Park (1979 / trailer)]) picks up hitchhiking women in his dry-cleaning van and tries to talk them out of running away by telling a story about his sister Judy and how she ran away and how his mother never recovered. When the girls disregard his story, Howard gets angry ('I'm gonna do Mama a favor!') and rapes and strangles the girls, dumping their bodies on deserted stretches of the road. Howard's homelife is equally depressing: He lives with his over-protective Mother (Dorothy Bennett) and spends his spare time building model cars (it must be the glue!). It's not that Howard kills every girl he picks up. If he can get them to say that they love their mother, he lets them go. Police Captain Shaw (Russell 'The Professor" [from Gilligan's Island] Johnson [10 Nov 1924— 16 Jan 2014]) hopes this is 'not some nut job like the Zodiac Killer, the Las Vegas Strangler or that psycho from Houston' as his investigation into the strangulations leads nowhere. Captain Shaw finally gets a break when Howard strangles a girl with a wire coat hanger from his van. He has his lieutenant (Randy Echols) pick up a hitchhiker, Pam (Beth Reis), and he tells her that there's a 'mental case' loose in the town. After calling Pam's parents and finding out they don't care ('They won't even send bus fare. It seems we're dealing with delinquent parents as well as delinquent children.'), Captain Shaw knows that only the police can save these girls now. After releasing Pam, Howard picks her up and strangles her, accidentally leaving his glasses at the murder scene. The glasses, along with the wire coat hanger, lead Captain Shaw closer to Howard. Meanwhile, Howard branches out and pick up a homosexual man who is hitchhiking through town. After determining that he also hates his mother, Howard kills him, wrapping a wire coat hanger around his neck. Howard's boss, Mr. Baldwin (John Harmon), warns him if his performance delivering and picking up dry cleaning doesn't improve, he will be fired. Howard's world starts falling apart as his job (and his only means of picking up hitchhikers) is in jeopardy and the police begin closing in. Howard picks up an 11-year-old runaway girl, then rapes and kills her (thankfully offscreen). This proves to be Howard's undoing as the police find a dry cleaning receipt clutched in her dead hand. The police pick up Howard at the dry cleaners without incident. We next see Howard clad in a straightjacket muttering to himself, 'I'm so cold, Mama'."
Aside from his movies, director Irvin Berwick also produced offspring; his son Wayne Berwick went on to direct the home movies The Naked Monster (2005) and Microwave Massacre (1983 / trailer)
Trailer to
The Naked Monster:



To be continued ... next month.
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