Harry Reems
August 27, 1947 — March 19, 2013
Go here for Part I
Go here for Part II (1969–72)
Go here for Part III (1973–74)
Go here for Part IV (1975–79)
WPINK-TV
(1985, dir. Myles "Miles" Kidder)
(1985, dir. Myles "Miles" Kidder)
Some of the scenes of co-babe Ali Moore (born Erin Marie Scott) were later cut out when it was discovered Moore had entered the biz underage, but oddly enough her pre-legal films haven't been as heavily pursued as those of Traci Lords, thus many of them (like this one) still feature her exchanging body fluids. You'll notice on the video cover above, however, under-the-table Ali's face has been replaced with that of Christy, who as a result appears twice in the photo (an earlier VHS release features the same photo not Photoshopped).
Over at the adult film database, they explain the movie: "TV cameraman Phil (Ron Jeremy) turns up with a brazen plan for a 'sex-rated' past-prime-time program after watching girlfriend Cathy (Christy Canyon) turning on for his private video viewing pleasure. Phil and his crew start the ball rolling with some pulse-stopping aerobics that unbeknownst to the group have been picked up by satellite and beamed around-the-world; launching an investigation led by super-agent Scorpio (Harry Reems). Disguised as a maintenance engineer, Harry is nevertheless quickly spotted as Cathy can't help but notice his gear. Cast and crew continue to make air-waves with special guest star, John Holmes, who holds his own against a panel of experts on 'Beat The Cock'. Behind the scenes, Bambi lends the director a helping hand and Harry convinces Cathy he is ready, willing and more than able to handle his share of the load. Meanwhile a network of foreign and domestic audiences are now desperately trying to horn in on Scorpio's undercover operation. Finally, the lights are dimmed, the cameras stilled and the action slowly grinds to a halt as Cathy and Scorpio take to the darkened center stage for some instant re-play-by-play until, flushed with success, the entire ensemble joins in. Forgotten in the fray, agent Scorpio's 2-way communicator is heat activated and his cover is blown, announcing to one and all they have been caught in the act on WPINK TV."
Over at the adult film database, they explain the movie: "TV cameraman Phil (Ron Jeremy) turns up with a brazen plan for a 'sex-rated' past-prime-time program after watching girlfriend Cathy (Christy Canyon) turning on for his private video viewing pleasure. Phil and his crew start the ball rolling with some pulse-stopping aerobics that unbeknownst to the group have been picked up by satellite and beamed around-the-world; launching an investigation led by super-agent Scorpio (Harry Reems). Disguised as a maintenance engineer, Harry is nevertheless quickly spotted as Cathy can't help but notice his gear. Cast and crew continue to make air-waves with special guest star, John Holmes, who holds his own against a panel of experts on 'Beat The Cock'. Behind the scenes, Bambi lends the director a helping hand and Harry convinces Cathy he is ready, willing and more than able to handle his share of the load. Meanwhile a network of foreign and domestic audiences are now desperately trying to horn in on Scorpio's undercover operation. Finally, the lights are dimmed, the cameras stilled and the action slowly grinds to a halt as Cathy and Scorpio take to the darkened center stage for some instant re-play-by-play until, flushed with success, the entire ensemble joins in. Forgotten in the fray, agent Scorpio's 2-way communicator is heat activated and his cover is blown, announcing to one and all they have been caught in the act on WPINK TV."
The full NSFW movie can be found here; it was followed by four direct-to-video sequels between 1986 and 1993...
Whore of the Worlds
(1985, dir. Myles "Miles Kidder)The plot, as according to Hot Movies and a hundred other websites: "Just when she's smugly certain the entire population of the planet has accepted her moratorium on sex — evil ruler Clitemnestra discovers the decampment of Zork and Zindy for worldly pleasures. In her private chambers, Clitemnestra watches their amorous antics through the telly and finds her gorge rising as well as long buried desires. After taking matters quickly in hand, she dispatches her chief aide-de-camp (Harry Reems) to trap and zap the fallen angels. Meanwhile, Zork and Zinky, unaware they are being watched, have found Hollywood, California, a fine state of affairs and, anxious to make up for lost years of enforced celibacy, are having a ball with a playful group of consenting adults. But just as the ball starts rolling, the promiscuous pair are hog-tied and high-tailed back to face the music and certain death. When brought before Cliteminestra's court, however, a member of the jury takes Zork's plight to heart, while Zindy gives the vengeful empress a taste of her own medicine and thereby turns the rapscallion ruler into The Whore of the Worlds."
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For one of its versions, the video was recut and redubbed and, with additional scenes added, renamed Lust in Space... the hairy guy in the ugly makeup on the cover is no one less than an unrecognizable Harry Reems.
Trashy Lady
(1985, dir. Steve Scott [1937–1987])
CD Universe explains the plot: "Trashy Lady is a period piece set against the backdrop of the roaring 1920's Chicago underworld, during the days of prohibition, well-dressed gangsters and tommy-guns. Harry Reems plays mobster Dutch Siegel, who has just been dumped by his filthy-mouthed girlfriend, Jessie (Cara Lott). Shortly after, he falls for the new cigarette girl, Katherine (Ginger Lynn of Buried Alive [1990 / full film], Mind, Body & Soul [1992 / trailer], Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain [2003 / trailer] and The Devil's Rejects [2005 / trailer]), whom he meets at his posh club. Dutch wants 'Kitty' [as he calls her] as his dame, but a problem exists — she's too classy for him. Kitty is a lady and Dutch likes his dames trashy. He employs a local whore, Rita, played by Amber Lynn, to teach Kitty the 'right' ways to act. His problems are compounded when another local mobster, Big Louie (Herschel Savage of Fatal Pulse [1988 / trailer]) decides to take revenge against Dutch because he believes that he's been sleeping with his girl, sparking a small gang war."
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Video Tramp says: "All three of [Scott's straight porno] films featured an up-n-coming starlet named Ginger Lynn. Interestingly, their three collaborations, especially Trashy Lady, are still being discussed by porn fans even today — a testament to their significance. The years truly have been kind to Trashy Lady, which has gone on to become a legitimate adult film classic, often noted by Ginger Lynn aficionados as one of her finest films."
For 11 NSFW minutes of "Rita" teaching "Kitty" to swallow sausage (and more) to period-correct music, go here.
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Another direct-to-video porn film directed by Jerome Tanner, the director of the previous year's For Your Thighs Only; and whereas in the earlier film the plot involved prudes trying to outlaw sex, this film involves an evil force trying to outlaw anal sex. In England, some guy named Richie says "Girls of the A Team is the funniest adult movie ever." In Japan, Saijoo is of the opinion that the film is "Hilarious B-grade filth at its best! This movie is a must see for anyone who's even remotely a fan of Ron Jeremy or Harry Reems. It has some of the best one-liners that you'll ever see, and some of the most disgusting pre-sex drooling, and come-shot rambling that Harry Reems has ever had recorded." Indeed, Harold Reems' line "Zanos, you're the best!" seems to be sort of cult classic among some.
Trailer to Born Yesterday (1955), the probable inspiration for Trashy Lady:
The Girls of 'A' Team
(1985, dir. Jerome Tanner)
(1985, dir. Jerome Tanner)
The plot, more or less as we could piece together from various sites: Zanos (Ron Jeremy) is the ambassador of Uranus and has a strong penchant for anal sex. While visiting the United States, he gets frustrated when the girl he's bonking (Tamara Longley) won't let him do anal, so he rings Steven, his US liaison (Peter North), who suggests he should contact the A Team, whom Steven describes as 'masters in the art of anal penetration'. The A Team soon arrive at Zanos' villa in a van (similar to that used in the original TV series The A-Team [1983-87]). Soon thereafter, Harry Reems visits Zanos and is introduced to Mr P, who sets him up with an A Team babe, Ami Rogers, who teasingly asks 'Well, Mr Reems — are you going to ream me out?'"Several anal orgies take place, with a lot of anal and some DP…" As an added attraction, in a couple of scenes the ends of the receiving ends have faces painted on them.
Ten Little Maidens
(1985, dir. John Seeman)
(1985, dir. John Seeman)
Ten Little Maidens, as far as we can tell, was his third and last attempt as a director. The movie, as implied by the title, is inspired by Agatha Christie's best-selling novel Ten Little Niggers (1939), which was later given the more palatable title Then There Were None and/or Ten Little Indians and which has enjoyed great success as a stage play and a variety of films. René Clair directed the first feature film version of the Christie story in 1945.
Full film — René Clair's And Then There Were None (1945):
3X Update describes the plot as follows: "Ten Little Maidens is a classic of 80s erotica that stars Ginger Lynn in one of her finest performances. She and Harry Reems play a happily married couple who find their wedded bliss interrupted by an offer for an all-expense paid trip to the mysterious Bacchanale Island [delivered by Kitten Natividad, in a non-sex appearance]. The sexual adventurers jump at the chance and are soon swept away on a tide of carnal mayhem. When Ginger and Harry arrive, they find themselves at a decadent dinner party with a few other couples — a dinner party that soon turns into a full-fledged orgy. Afterwards, their enigmatic host announces that after having so much fun, all of the guests must pay — with their lives! The flick turns into a wild murder mystery in which deadly intentions and sensual shenanigans lurk around every corner. This flick epitomizes everything that was great about 80s porn, from the cheesy yet effective story to the breathless acting to the white-hot action. […] One of the best porn films of the decade, it's a must-see experience for anyone into feverish fun and atmospheric ecstasy." Possibly taking inspiration from Hardgore, the film includes death by electric dildo…
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Over in Brugge (Belgium), Dirtymoviedevotee (dries.vermeulen@hotmail.be) says that "the AVN Award-winning 'food orgy' sequence [...] really grosses some people out" and that "seeing a man masturbate using a turkey is not appealing in the least". Ten Little Maidens can be found on-line at this Russian website here, 24Video.
Trailer to George Pollock's non-sex Euroversion of Ten Little Indians (1965):
Rubdown
(1985, dir. Bill Amerson)
(1985, dir. Bill Amerson)
Rubdown is a less than spectacular direct-to-video product with big hair, body hair, bad acting and direction, and a plot that might hold water but a resolution that does not... At imdb, VCX explains the plot: "Bixby (Reems) is a horrid employer who fires Gail (Kim Carson) because she refuses to give in to his sexual advances. Her two co-workers, Patty and Suzy, quit in protest and the three decide to become full-time self-employed entrepreneurs in the 'World's Oldest Profession'. 'If you've got to let somebody squeeze the goods,' says Gail, 'you might as well get paid for it!' The enterprise is an outstanding success and their 9-to-5 world is crowded with lust-filled men and couples looking to add spice to their lives. One day old Bixby catches their ad in the paper and phones for an appointment. Recognizing his voice, the girls plan a just revenge!"
Discount DVD says that the film "is a waning career assignment for porn studs Harry Reems and John Holmes, who have to perform with some of the hottest young porn actresses of the mid-1980s. Fortunately, they manage to rise to the occasion."
Two films from 1985 directed by two-spurt "G.W. Hunter", for whom we can find no information and no other credits, both featuring Harry Reems' reliable (?) rod somewhere for a scene or two. Oriental Jade (full NSFW film) was a star vehicle for the Korean American Kristara Barrington, a popular babe of the 1980s who may or may not have entered the field underage (her first films are now unavailable) and eventually gave up her Porn Queen title (according to popular but unsubstantiated rumor) to become a veterinarian under her real, unknown name — though kristarabarringtononline.com actually claims that "Recent notification has placed our 80s superstar in Chicago working with other friends of the family and supporting family members doing bookkeeping for a relatives Korean grocery stores."
According to an interview she gave to Gregory Dark in Psychotronic #26, "The high point of my life was that I fucked 350 guys in high school"— a statement that might help explain her oft-enthusiastic performances. The plot of Oriental Jade, according to some website: "Shot on location in the South Seas, Oriental Jade is an epic tale of movie making Hollywood Style — and the wanton desires that blaze behind-the-scenes. At the center of the story is G.W. Hunter, the booze-loving screenwriter with a taste for Oriental erotica. His script is laced with plenty of steamy scenes, but most of the real action occurs off-screen and after hours. There's the hot actress with a taste for jungle love, the director who puts his all (among other things) into his work, and the writer's wife who discovers a very talented actor … and that's only part of the action. Featuring one of the most beautiful casts ever assembled, Oriental Jade is an adult blockbuster that must be seen to be believed!" (Assuming the above description to be correct, and the character "G.W. Hunter" is also the real director, then the film would seem to have been directed by James Miles, aka Miles Long. [Whatta name — Hah, Hah, Hah.])
Like Reems and most of the cast from Oriental Jade except Kristara Barrington, James Miles / Miles Long also appears here in Heart Throbs, the paper thin plot of which concerns (to quote Adult DVD Talk): "Four sex-craved representatives of the Amalgamated Cosmetics Company travel to Hawaii to try out their new Shocking Pink Lipstick, which brings women to their knees, literally." Ron Jeremy is also in both films, but in regard to the latter of the two films, a reviewer was inspired to say: "He is actually tolerable here, and he used to be a half-way decent actor, which is weird. I can't recall anyone, porn or mainstream, becoming progressively worse over the years. I know it doesn't make sense, but I swear it's true. Ron was also less hairy than some of the women he bones, but aside from that, [the film] suffered from too many shadows, bad sound, and less than arousing sex. Shot in Hawaii, at least the scenery was attractive."
According to an interview she gave to Gregory Dark in Psychotronic #26, "The high point of my life was that I fucked 350 guys in high school"— a statement that might help explain her oft-enthusiastic performances. The plot of Oriental Jade, according to some website: "Shot on location in the South Seas, Oriental Jade is an epic tale of movie making Hollywood Style — and the wanton desires that blaze behind-the-scenes. At the center of the story is G.W. Hunter, the booze-loving screenwriter with a taste for Oriental erotica. His script is laced with plenty of steamy scenes, but most of the real action occurs off-screen and after hours. There's the hot actress with a taste for jungle love, the director who puts his all (among other things) into his work, and the writer's wife who discovers a very talented actor … and that's only part of the action. Featuring one of the most beautiful casts ever assembled, Oriental Jade is an adult blockbuster that must be seen to be believed!" (Assuming the above description to be correct, and the character "G.W. Hunter" is also the real director, then the film would seem to have been directed by James Miles, aka Miles Long. [Whatta name — Hah, Hah, Hah.])
Like Reems and most of the cast from Oriental Jade except Kristara Barrington, James Miles / Miles Long also appears here in Heart Throbs, the paper thin plot of which concerns (to quote Adult DVD Talk): "Four sex-craved representatives of the Amalgamated Cosmetics Company travel to Hawaii to try out their new Shocking Pink Lipstick, which brings women to their knees, literally." Ron Jeremy is also in both films, but in regard to the latter of the two films, a reviewer was inspired to say: "He is actually tolerable here, and he used to be a half-way decent actor, which is weird. I can't recall anyone, porn or mainstream, becoming progressively worse over the years. I know it doesn't make sense, but I swear it's true. Ron was also less hairy than some of the women he bones, but aside from that, [the film] suffered from too many shadows, bad sound, and less than arousing sex. Shot in Hawaii, at least the scenery was attractive."
(1985, writ. & dir. Artie Mitchell)
Six years after this film, on February 27, 1991, director Artie was shot to death by his business partner and brother, Jim Mitchell; Jim died of a heart attack in 2007. Back in the good ol' days, they made the legendary porn film Behind the Green Door (1972 / NSFW clip), which made them rich, and the equally interesting Resurrection of Eve (1973 / innocent dance scene); both films starred the legendary Marilyn Chambers (of Rabid [1977 / trailer]).
Tower of Power
(1985, dir. Gary Graver)
(1985, dir. Gary Graver)
One of Gary Graver's first directorial efforts,
the short film Good Country People (circa 1960):
Beverly Hills Exposed
(1985, dir. Gary Graver)
(1985, dir. Gary Graver)
And yet another Gary Graver movie. More big business shenanigans with Harry Reems as the head man, "Gregory Towns". Rame.net says the following about the movie: "Harry Reems plays a nymphomaniac businessman trying to close a deal with Billy Dee (seen here to the left in a photo from the iafd). The video plays out in a very refreshing, breezy way [... and ...] shows you can have a very hot porn flick w/o anals, facials, DPs, etc. It also shows a porn flick can have production values w/o a bunch of stupid camera tricks and nonsense symbolism like painted midgets or glow-in-the dark costumes." Billy Dee, by the way, was "one of the first of the do-anything, do-anyone second-tier porno studs, [...] a smooth-talking, light-skinned black hunk who was one of the coolest, most suave studs of his time". Born "William Daniels", he usually played a white dude in the countless films he appeared in, or an Hispanic. He left the adult film business in 1990 because, in his own words: "As it happens, I [...] went to Bible College. I now have a theological degree, but never became an ordained minister. But I am a believer. That is why I am not in the biz anymore." Supposedly he now plays in a church band somewhere in San Antonio, TX. As mentioned under the entry on Society Affairs, director Gary Graver (July 20, 1938 — November 16, 2006) was an intensely active if not obsessed filmmaker that worked on hundreds of films. And where does a filmmaker like that begin? Well, with super low budget (as in Super-8, probably) surrealistic short films, this one here possibly starring a young Ron Keas...
Another of Gary Graver's first directorial efforts,
the short film Mildred (circa 1960):
the short film Mildred (circa 1960):
Too Naughty to Say No
(1985, writ. & dir. Suze Randall)
Too Naughty to Say No and Love Bites (the next film listed) are two directorial efforts by former glamour girl and (explicit) glamour girl photographer Suze Randall, seen to the left here, which she released under the moniker of "Victor Nye". Too Naughty was inspired by the work of Marquis de Sade, and like so much of his work is about the corruption of the innocent — to use the plot description at 3X Update: "Two students at a Catholic girls' school are best friends. One, Betty, (Angel) is a shy, withdrawn girl, and the other, Catherine, (Ginger Lynn) is a wild, party-till-you-drop hellraiser. The partier decides to give her 'good girl' friend an education in the ways of the world."According to Adult DVD Talk, "The film starts out [...] as the Catholic school girl watches the wild girl having sex with her pimp. From there the film gets more wild as the girl ends up at a whore house, getting attacked by a rapist, being brought back from the dead and having a lesbian encounter surrounded by men watching and jerking off." Harry Reems appears in the film as an undertaker who screws the dead Betty, only to his tongue soooo good that she comes back alive... the babe who played Betty, Angel, gets an "introducing" credit at the start of the film, but the former Seventeen covergirl (real name: Jennifer James) had actually already been doing films for a year.
Love Bites
(1985, writ. & dir. Suze Randall)
(1985, writ. & dir. Suze Randall)
Tracy Lords gets the star credits on the poster, but according to at least one website she had her single sex scene edited out after her age-related scandal... no loss as far as we're concerned, as we never did like her pout. The film is about what happens when a mosquito is discovered the sting of which has an aphrodisiac effect. The synopsis, according to Rame.net: "The aphrodisiac is in this new breed of mosquito, 'cupex cuidens'. It's encountered in Africa by a missionary whose daughter, Prudence (Ali Moore), is bitten by one of the little devils and transformed into an insatiable nymphomaniac. She exhausts the village chief (Andre Bolla — who went on to become 'one of the hairiest Black gay actors to ever appear before the camera') [...] while her horrified father (Fred Jones) prays for her salvation. Soon the mosquito is in the United States, being studied in the laboratory of a bumbling research biologist, Harry Reems, and his assistant, Doctor Traci Lords. To the music of The Flight of the Bumblebee, one of the little darlings escapes and bites a frosty career woman, Amber Lynn, as she takes the elevator to her job. Peter North is the only occupant. [...] The elevator sequence takes about ten minutes and a lot of other passengers are involved. The mosquito invades a meeting of More Morality, chaired by Michael Morrison, who looks a little like Jerry Falwell. The prudish members drop their pants and panties. [...]."
The Canadian Brass plays Rimsky-Korsakov's Flight of the Bumblebee:
(1985, dir. Scotty Fox)
Paul Thomas singing in his acting debut
Jesus Christ Superstar (1973):
Jesus Christ Superstar (1973):
(1985, dir. Stu Segall)
Of more interest to us here at A Wasted Life are a variety of Stu Segall's early credits: as Godfrey Daniels or Ms. Michelle Krelmn or Ms. Ricki Krelmn or P.C. O'Kake or Arthur Byrd he wrote and/or directed and/or produced such fun early sleaze as Saddle Tramp Women (1972) and...
The Suckers (1972)...
The Dirty Dolls (1973)...
Scene from Teen-Age Jail Bait (1973)...
C.B. Hustlers
Spirit of Seventy Sex
(1976 / one very hardcore and hairy minute)
Let's Play Doctor (1977)...
and, of course, his cult classic,Drive-In Massacre (1977):
(1985, writ. & dir. John Stagliano)
Gotta admit, the cover is good for a laugh — and yes, that is Harry Reems made up as the Devil. Indecent Itch is an early film from John "Buttman" Stagliano, who is considered the daddy of gonzo porn and has gotten rich by making his own personal kink the focus of his product. Having tested positive in 1997, he no longer barebacks babes in his own films. According to the back cover of the video, Indecent Itch tells the tale of "Stunning new starlet Brittany Stryker dances alone, withdrawn from the pain and frustration of relationships. Her constant masturbation is her one escape. This bittersweet solitude is broken by the intrusion of old friends. The taunts and teasing of her promiscuous friends drive her to have nightmares of her masturbation fantasy, having each of her holes filled with a large vibrating pink dildo, the cold piece of plastic to which she is addicted. She is left empty and begging for the real thing, which she gets when three young studs replace the cold plastic with the hot pulsating real thing, all three of them at once! In the midst of her struggle and the constant partying (soothing oil and all!) of her friends, Brittany somehow finds what she really wants."In honor of John Stagliono,
here's a cover version of one of our favorite cumbias, Bombom Asesino:
here's a cover version of one of our favorite cumbias, Bombom Asesino:
Part XII will follow in 2014 ... eventually.