"Using unknowns you avoid highly exaggerated salaries and prima donnas."
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Russ Meyer's baroque 1970 masterpiece, one of only two movies he ever made for a major Hollywood studio (in this case, Fox), is without a doubt one of the Babest movies ever made. While we have yet to review it here at a wasted life (if we did, we would foam at the mouth in raging rave), we have looked at it before: back in 2011, in our R.I.P. Career Review of Charles Napier (12 Apr 1936 – 5 Oct 2011), and again in 2013 in our R.I.P. Career Review for the Great Haji (24 Jan 1946 – 10 Aug 2013) — both appear in the film.
"This is not a sequel. There has never been anything like it!"
Advertisement tagline
In Haji's entry, we were wrote, among other things, the following: "Originally intended as a sequel to the 1967 movie version of Jacqueline Susann's novel Valley of the Dolls (trailer), Meyer and co-screenwriter Roger Ebert instead made a Pop Art exploitation satire of the conventions of the modern Hollywood melodrama, written in sarcasm but played straight, complete with a 'moralistic' ending that owes its inspiration to the Manson-inspired murder of Sharon Tate and her guests on August 9, 1969. Aside from the movie's absolutely insane plot, the cinematography is also noteworthy — as are the figures of the pneumatic babes that populate the entire movie. For legal reasons, the film starts with the following disclaimer: 'The film you are about to see in not a sequel to Valley of the Dolls. It is wholly original and bears no relationship to real persons, living or dead. It does, like Valley of the Dolls, deal with the oft-times nightmare world of show business but in a different time and context.' [...]"
"Any movie that Jacqueline Susann thinks would damage her reputation as a writer cannot be all bad."
Russ Meyer films are always populated by amazing sights, but Beyond the Valley of the Dolls literally overflows its cups in an excess of pulchritude that (even if somewhat more demurely covered than in most of his films) lights the fires of any person attracted to women of the curvaceous kind that preceded today's sculptured plasticity.
Trailer to
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls:
And so we continue our look at the boobs film careers of the women of the Babest Film of All Times, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. The size of their breasts roles is of lesser importance than the simple fact that they are known to be in it somewhere, so we will look at the cleavage known unknowns in the background and the headlining semi-knowns in the front, focusing on their nipples careers in film. That is, but for one notable exception: the National Treasure that is the Great Pam Greer. Though she had her film debut in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls somewhere in the background of the opening party scene, as evidenced by the photo of her with Cissy Colpotts below, and therefore should be included, we feel that a Wonderment of her caliber deserves an entry all of her own — a Sisyphean task we might one day take on...
So far, we have looked at the T&A careers of the following:
Part I:The Non-babe of Note — Princess Livingston
Part II:Background Babe of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls— Jacqulin Cole
Part III:Background Babe of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls— Bebe Louie
Part IV:Background Babe of BVD — Trina Parks
Part V:Background Babe of BVD — Lavelle Roby, Pt. I (1968-76)
Part VI:Background Babe of BVD — Lavelle Roby. Pt. II (1979-2021)
Part VII:Killer Babe of BVD — Samantha Scott
Part VIII:Background Babe of BVD — Karen Smith
Part IX:Background Babes of BVD — The Five Mysterians
Part X:Background Babe of BVD — Gina Dair
Part XI:Background Babe of BVD — Cissy Colpotts, Pt I
Part XII:Background Babe of BVD — Cissy Colpotts, Pt II
Part XII:Background Babe of BVD — Phyllis Davis, Pt I
Joe Namath
doing a commercial:
*Some pen-pushing writer-for-hire, the factoid-challenged and unknown Nick Tosches (23 Oct 1949 – 20 Oct 2019), in his non-definitive biography, Dino — Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams, has all of the following to say about her relationship with the "Percodan with Scotch"-slinging singer: "By then [1978], he had a new broad living with him: a young actress, Phyllis Elizabeth [sic] Davis, who would be co-starring in the fall in the new ABC-TV crime-drama series 'Vegas.' Dean would make a guest appearance as himself at the start of the show's second season." By January 1979, in any event, Phyllis seems to have been replaced by another "new broad", Joni Anderson.
Dean Martin sings
Everybody Loves Somebody:
Her name became widely known when she co-starred (1978-1981) on the popular TV detective series Vega$ as Beatrice Travis, office manager and girl Friday for the show's main character, Las Vegas private detective Dan Tanna (Robert Urich). She eventually retired to that nowhere outside of Vegas known as Henderson, Nevada, where she died of cancer at the age of 73 on 27 September 2013. For further details, we would suggest visiting the blogspot Hills Place.
Phyllis Davis gravesite location:
But now, let's move on to Part II of a typical (for a wasted life) all-over-the-place look at the career of Phyllis Davis, beginning with something truly obscure...
Train Ride to Hollywood
(1975, dir. Charles R. Rondeau)
![]()
A low-budget step away from exploitation and towards respectability? Phyllis Davis is found playing Scarlett O'Hara — look at that cleavage in the trailer! — in this G-rated comedy from TV director Charles R. Rondeau (14 Jul 1917 – 27 Aug 1996), his first feature film since 1960, when he released three fun little low-budget films, none of which were kiddy films: The Girl in Lovers Lane (1960 / full film), The Threat (1960) and, arguably the best of all three, Devil's Partner (1960).
Charles R. Rondeau's
The Devil's Partner:
But then, Train Ride to Hollywood isn't really a kiddy film, either; the forgotten film is more of one strange cookie than anything else. Anyone out there remember the group Bloodstone? Bloodstone were an "American R&B, soul-funk band, formed in 1962 in Kansas City, Missouri. They started as a doo-wop group: The Sinceres and they moved in late 1960s to Las Vegas, NV. By 1971 — billing themselves as Bloodstone — they decided to move to Los Angeles, CA, but failed to generate enough interest and they decided to move to London, UK. They became known for their funk/soul sound that blended Jimi Hendrix-styled rock music with doo-wop and gospel music undertones. Their biggest hit is Natural High (1973). [Discogs]"Train Ride to Hollywood was one of their attempts to become big: a feature-length movie built around the band and their songs.
Even if neither the name Bloodstone nor the title Natural High rings any bells, you would probably remember the song if you heard it — so check it out below. The band is still more-or-less around (consisting of "surviving members"), and was successful enough to have a lengthy Wikipediaentry, but this film — in which they are the stars — has pretty much been completely forgotten.
Bloodstone's biggest hit —
Natural High:
"In the realm of bad musicals, most know about Can't Stop the Music (1980 / trailer) and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978 / trailer). But Train Ride to Hollywood is so bad, I'm told it was barely released. Before the Village People and Bee Gees made their ill-fated attempts at box-office glory, the four-man R&B group Bloodstone [...] gave it a try. [...] Playing themselves, Bloodstone is about to go onstage for a concert when one of the members (Harry Williams) slips and conks his noggin, forcing him into an unconscious world that we must endure along with him for 80-some-odd minutes. When Martin Luther King Jr. said he had a dream, certainly he meant the opposite of this, which casts the guys as train conductors only a step or two above the demeaning level of Stepin Fetchit. [Flick Attack]"
Trailer to
Train Ride to Hollywood:
Although Every 70s Movie admits that "none of Bloodstone's members is a gifted actor", they were less appalled by the movie: "It's a broad-as-a-barn farce that sorta-kinda takes place in the past. [...] The movie is too amiable to get dismissed as a vanity piece, but it represents a bizarre approach to brand management. Shot and edited with a fair amount of polish but obviously made on a slender budget, [...] as the episodic storyline unfurls, viewers encounter light comedy in the Hope/Crosby style, musical numbers showcasing Bloodstone's stylistic versatility, and fourth-wall-braking gags. Some of the weirder scenes involve the whole cast getting wasted on smoke from the sheik's hookah, Harry boxing a gorilla, and the search for a killerwho suffocates people with his armpits. Yet Train Ride to Hollywood is so brisk, gentle, lively, and weird that it's hard to hate the movie, even though many sequences are painfully stupid. After all, where else can viewers watch [Jay] Robinson do a bargain-basement Bela Lugosi imitation while saying, 'Hey, Bogie, don't bogart that joint!'?"
The Choirboys
(1977, dir. Robert Aldrich)![]()
"There are only two kinds of people in the world: cops and ... assholes."
Sgt. Spermwhale Whalen (Charles Durning)
We looked at this film in our R.I.P. Career Review of Carol Speed. A "black comedy" based on the novel of the same name by cop-loving former cop Joseph Wambaugh, The Choirboys is generally considered one of Robert Aldrich's least successful projects. Wambaugh hated the film to the extent that he not only sued to have his name removed from the film, but subsequently bought back the film rights to his books The Onion Field and Black Marble to ensure to have more control over the eventual film adaptations.
Scene from
The Choirboys:
The Choirboys is what one likes to call an ensemble picture: dozens of parts, dozens of people. Phyllis Davis plays Foxy, the stripper/hooker/dominatrix girlfriend of the cop Baxter Slate (Perry King). (That's him whacking her across the face below.) The film is misogynistic and sexist and homophobic and racist, so it pretty much accurately reflects the thought patterns of LA Cops circa 1977 (and today, if you're honest about it). As Gary Geiser wrote many months ago at YouTube, "If you were a cop in '77 you loved this movie. I know I was and did." We're sure even cops today would probably love this movie.
Trailer to
The Choirboys:
The film flopped, and has yet to find redemption in the eyes of the public. "You can always find outstanding translations of a novel to the screen. [...] Sadly, you cannot avoid the other side of that coin: Poor representations on film of good or great novels. Let me jump right to one of the best examples of the worst translations to film: The Choirboys. It truly is a bottom-feeding example of how not to bring a novel to the big screen. The Choirboys can be used as a blueprint for how to do virtually everything wrong. [A Gator in Naples]"
The plot? "The film is virtually plot-free, just an assortment of vignettes in which L.A. cops alternately swill booze, cavort with whores, play vicious and often deadly pranks on each other (a live duck is placed down a rookie's pants, nearly castrating him) and collectively bitch about their bureaucratic superiors. Because these cops are middle-class grinds, we're supposed to side with them, but that's like being asked to side with racist, Confederate flag-toting rednecks raging against their mild-mannered, slightly richer, Black boss. Today, The Choirboys comes off like a strange hybrid of Porky's (1981 / trailer) and [...] Catch-22 (1970 / trailer). Like the former movie, the relentlessly adolescent oafs on display laugh more at their pranks than we do, and, as in the latter story, they are given cartoonish names like Spermwhale and Roscoe Rules, and presented as essentially harmless, goofball grunts slowly going crazy under a corrupt system. Only their exploits aren't so harmless, which means that The Choirboys totally lacks the heart of those movies. [Hidden Films]"
Sizzle
(1981, dir. Don Medford)
![]()
As far as we can tell, The Choirboys was Phyllis Davis's final "real" appearance on the big screen. Thereafter, as a childless total MILF of 41, she got rid of her long hair and got a Middle American I'm-growing-old hairstyle and took the role of Beatrice Travis on the TV show Vega$ (1978–81 / credit sequence), a popular show that pretty much made her a household name in the US. (It is perhaps during the show's run that she came to discover the nowheresville that is Henderson, NV, and decided to move there.)
TV promo to
Sizzle:
The same year that Vega$ got cancelled, she had a tertiary role (and a new hairstyle) as Sally in this Aaron Spelling production, a "star vehicle" for Loni Anderson* (painted below). We looked at Sizzle briefly back in 2012 in R.I.P. Richard Lynch, where we wrote:
"A TV movie produced by Aaron Spelling and directed by Don Medford, the director of The Hunting Party (1971 / trailer), a legendarily violent cult western. As to be expected of a Spelling production, however, Sizzle is extremely inoffensive. Set in the prohibition years of Chicago, gangster Mike Callahan (John Forsythe of The Trouble with Harry [1955 / trailer]) falls for the two big and bouncy charms of small town gal Julie Davis (Loni Anderson*), who wants to revenge the death of her boyfriend. Leslie Uggams (of Poor Pretty Eddie [1975 / trailer]) is Vonda, who befriends Julie, and Richard Lynch is Callahan's right-hand man, Johnny O'Brien. The flick is pure TV pap, though it does have an occasionally entertaining show number."
*Regarding the above painting of Ms. Anderson (framed, 54 1/2 by 42 1/2 inches): "A framed acrylic on canvas painting of Loni Anderson wearing a light sheath, signed 'Elfred Lee '91.' Lee, a religious painter, was commissioned by Burt Reynolds to do a nude of Loni Anderson. Reynolds wanted a full-nude painting, but Anderson balked at the idea, and the sheath was a compromise. The painting once hung in their living room, but it was too public for Anderson, who moved it to the bedroom. Accompanied by a photograph of the artist with the painting. PROVENANCE: From the Collection of Loni Anderson. [Julien's Auctions]" Sold (2014) for $4,480.
Lynch is in the audience
watching Leslie Uggams sing:
The Wild Women of Chastity Gulch
(1982, dir. Philip Leacock)
![]()
Alongside her numerous appearances on diverse TV shows, Phyllis Davis and her cleavage appears (alongside Joan Collins and Donny Osmond!) to play another tertiary role, a working woman named Sugar Harris, in this ABC TV western produced by Aaron Spelling.
Donny Osmond sings lipsynchs...
Moviedb.org tries to make the movie sound way more salaciously interesting than it is: "It's quiet in Chastity Gulch, a small town in the Wild West. The men of the village are all in the army and fight their battles far away. The women are getting very bored! At once a bunch of robbers drops into the saloon. They love the beer but are also looking for beautiful women. Will the town whores keep these delightful men for themselves or will the doctor's wife and the mayor's wife also get a part of the fun?"
Full movie:
Once Upon a Time in a Western gives the details: "Maggie McCullough (Priscilla Barnes) is a female doctor summoned to the town of Sweetwater by her ailing Aunt Annie (Joan Collins). She arrives just as all the men in Sweetwater are riding off to join the Confederate army. And she arrives to another surprise: Her aunt isn't a mine owner as Maggie thought; she runs a bordello stocked with lots of lovely lasses. [Including Sugar Harris, i.e., Phyllis Davis.] No sooner have the men departed than the 'good' women of Sweetwater descend on Annie's place, announcing that a new town council has been elected and plans to shut her down as its first order of business. Not so fast, replies Annie, who quickly educates them on how many of their husbands have IOUs at her place and how many others have allowed her to become partners in their businesses in exchange for carnal favors. Fact is, she owns half of Sweetwater and, as such, appoints Maggie as the town's new mayor. With the men gone, Maggie figures all the women in Sweetwater — the ladies and the ladies of the night — are going to have to work together to keep the town running. She's working toward that end with mixed results when a more serious problem rides into Sweetwater. It arrives in the form of Union Col. Samuel Isaacs (Howard Duff). His son (Donny Osmond) has been badly wounded. His ultimatum: Either Maggie and wounded Confederate doctor John Cain (Lee Horsley) heal his son. Or he'll return to wipe out the town."
As always,
the Unionists are nasty people:
The Best of Sex and Violence
(1982, dir. Ken Dixon)![]()
A direct-to-video "documentary". As tends to happen when a woman become a name celebrity, suddenly everyone — or at least every cis-gendered male — wants to see the woman's assets. And as a result, people like Ken Dixon delve through the filmographies of female actors to find any and every time their "personalities" are shown as god made them. Nekkid, in other words — or at least topless.
For lifetime-long skin or softcore starlets, this raises hardly an eyebrow, but for those who only occasionally went the exploitation mile before going mainstream, or who would prefer to ignore portions of their past career, it's an annoying embarrassment. That's life.
We already took a look at this "documentary" in June 2020, in our Babe of Yesteryear entry Uschi Digard, Part XI: 1978 to Addendum, someone who really had/has no reason to complain. There, we more or less wrote:
Most Ken Dixon documentaries are pretty much nothing but a recycling of clips; but this project, produced by Charles Band and Michel Catalano and Frank Ray Perilli, is less a documentary than a collection of 28 trailers. As such, it is a lot more fun than the average hairy-palm movie with a fake plotline, which is why we thought we'd take a look at it — that, and because it was "written" by the recently departed Frank Ray Perilli (30 Aug 1925 – 8 Mar 2018), the former stand-up comic who had his finger in many an interesting pie as actor or writer or co-writer or producer — for example, New Orleans Uncensored (1955 / movie), Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962 / trailer below), Michael Pataki's Cinderella (1977 / trailer), Adult Fairy Tales (1978 / trailer), Alligator(1980), Dracula's Dog [1977 / trailer), Mansion of the Doomed (1976, which we take a look at in our Babes of Yesteryear feature on Marilyn Joi) and more.
Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962):
At All Movie, Brian Gusse has the basic facts: "This compilation of previews from low-budget action films & softcore sex films is hosted by veteran horror actor John Carradine (5 Feb 1906 – 27 Nov 1988) [...]."
The fabulous blogspot Temple of Schlock, whence the advert shown further above is taken, mentions that "The Charles Band-produced trailer compilation The Best of Sex and Violence played midnight shows in 14 Chicago area theaters on February 5-6, 1982 as a presentation of The Alternative Film Society, a New Jersey-based organization that 'four-walled' theaters for midnight movie screenings and dusk-to-dawn shows in the early 1980s. [...] None of the movies pictured in the ad (The Dirt Gang [1972, see Uschi Part XI], Werewolves on Wheels [1971 / trailer], two different Ginger flicks) have anything to do with The Best of Sex and Violence."
At Unrated FilmJames Klein says, "This video [...] was the first video to ever be released of just movie trailers [...]. Full Moon has released this gem of trailers ranging from Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976 / trailer), Zombie(1979) [...] and The Doberman Gang (1972 / trailer), one of my own personal favorite trailers. What I loved about these trailers from the 70s was that they showed everything: faces being blown apart, breasts bouncing everywhere (back when women had some damn meat on their bones) and profanity that could make a truck driver blush. Sometimes these trailers were even better than the films themselves. The Best of Sex and Violence mixes all sorts of genres so that you may see a few horror trailers and then it will jump into a trailer for Dolemite (1975 / trailer). [...] But be warned, this is not the best quality. Maybe my favorite part of The Best of Sex and Violence may be David [8 Dec 1936 – 3 June 2009] and Keith Carradine's cameo appearance alongside their dad and their awkward interaction between the three. Oh wait, the opening has a woman (Laura Jane Leary) being chased topless down a street as an unseen killer chases after her. Yeah, boobs always trump Carradine's."
Trailer to
The Best of Sex and Violence:
Phyllis Davis is there as Joy Lange from Terminal Island and Sugar from Sweet Sugar (see Phyllis Davis Part I), as well as with footage shot surreptitiously between takes. In general, however, most of the quality of the film stock sucks: everything seems to be taken from VHS versions of the movies.
Famous T&A
(1982, dir. Ken Dixon)
As mentioned in our look at Sweet Sugar in Phyllis Davis Part I, outtakes and unedited footage of Phyllis Davis's nude scenes are featured here in Famous T&A (1982). "When asked about her nude scenes, Phyllis Davis said 'I was modeling in New York and making more money doing that, but I came out to test for another part and wound up with Sweet Sugar. I had signed a 'no frontal nudity' agreement and when I got to Costa Rica, all of a sudden I had to go nude. So I called the union and said I refused, and they said I'd get sued. They weren't helpful at all, I always remember that. I had to hire a lawyer, myself, and I was only making scale starring in this film. He went down there, so I wouldn't have to do full-frontal nudity. [imdb]"
While her lawyer obviously wasn't that good of a lawyer, cause she shows a lot of skin in that movie, Famous T&A, like Dixon's previously released The Best of Sex and Violence (above), also uses footage shot unknown to Phyllis Davis between takes.
We already took a look at this "documentary" in June 2020, in our Babe of Yesteryear entry Uschi Digard, Part XI: 1978 to Addendum, where we more or less wrote:
Remember the day when (discreet) T&A was the staple of the prime-time programming of the traditional big three? When, unlike on pay TV, the hard nipples were always kept under a T-shirt...?
Saturday Night Live:
Famous T&A was the immediate follow-up to Charles Band & Michel Catalano & Ken Dixon's The Best of Sex and Violence, this time without host John Carradine or "scriptwriter" Frank Ray Perilli.
More so than their previous "film", The Best of Sex and Violence, which is mostly a collection of trailers, Famous T&A is closer to the typical Ken Dixon documentaries in that it is pretty much also just a recycling of clips (to be exact, "archive footage", movie outtakes and trailers). Here, he actually cannibalizes his own previous project and reuses a lot of stuff already seen in The Best of Sex and Violence. Still, since we find movies like this a lot more fun than the average hairy-palm movie with a fake plotline, let's take a look at it.
At the imdb, frankfob2@yahoo.com hits the nail on its head with his one-sentence film description: "A collection of nude and/or topless scenes from various films featuring actresses who were either famous at the time or who became famous later on." Cult babe Sybil Danning, at the time but 30 years of age and herself in possession of some fine T&A, hosts the filmic journey.
Over Unrated Magazine, James "Who needs an editor?" Klein sounds cis-gender but not impressed: "Just one year later after The Best of Sex & Violence was released, director Ken Dixon came up with another idea in which to make a quick buck on the video market: naked [female] celebrities. [...] Basically this is just the same recycled boobs that we saw in the last trailer compilation. [...] Famous T&A shows clips from mostly films that Charles Band produced or distributed, so there isn't a lot to choose from. It is nice to see Ursula Andress get a naked rub down from Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978) or Laura Gemser have a naked make-out session with another woman in Emmanuelle Around the World (1977 / SFW trailer) but I personally would rather see these films than watch quick (or in some cases overlong) clips that are just randomly thrown together. I did enjoy [...] watching a bottomless biker chick drive down the highway provided me with some laughs but it just wasn't enough to hold my interest. [...] I will say that if you are an Elvira fan and always wanted to see what those huge jugs of hers look like, you get a clip from The Working Girls (1974 / trailer) in which she shows off those milkers. Maybe for some of you, this DVD is worth purchasing just for that."
Video Vacuum liked the video/DVD a little bit more than James, saying, "Sybil Danning hosts this shot-on-video compilation of nude scenes of famous (and not-so famous) women. [...] Sybil appears (dressed as a gladiator no less) and introduces a bunch of clips for 75 minutes. Some of the highlights include Phyllis Davis appearing in outtakes from Terminal Island ([1973 / trailer below] including some full frontal nudity that doesn't appear in the film), a pre-Flash Gordon (1980 / trailer) Ornella Muti, [...] Bridget Bardot, Claudia Jennings (in scenes from Truck Stop Women [1974, see Uschi Part XII]), Elvira (her striptease from Working Girls), Jacqueline Bisset, Laura Gemser, Vanity, and Russ Meyer stars Edy Williams and Uschi Digard. [...] The trailers are an especially nice touch. They break up some of the monotony of the unedited clips, some of which play out too long. [...] At 75 minutes, Famous T&A is just long enough not to wear out its welcome. However, if the filmmakers cut out all the filler of non-famous T&A [...] and kept the running time to about an hour, it might've been classic."
Trailer to
Terminal Island:
Ha ha, it's Burl was in turn less impressed than James, saying that Famous T&A"seems to have been organized much in the manner that Jackson Pollock organized his paint droplets! [...] All in all, it's kind of a boring cruickshank of a motion picture! The video box implies that we'll see all sorts of now-famous people in various states of undress, and sure, we do see naked ladies, but they somehow manage to drain that experience of any prurient interest whatever! Ha ha, quite a feat! [...] And worst of all perhaps is the stuff they make Sybil Danning say! My gosh, it makes the end credits of Howling II (1985 / trailer) seem like an exercise in dignified solemnity by comparison! The poor woman — I hope she was at least well paid!"
In general, the quality of the images sucks: everything seems to be taken from VHS versions of the movies.
Played somewhere during the film —
For Your Love by The Yardbirds:
Guns
(1990, writ. & dir. Andy Sidaris)![]()
"Use the cerebral approach... Shoot her in the head!"
Jack of Diamonds (Erik Estrada)
After The Wild Women of Chastity Gulch (1982), Phyllis Davis didn't do anything but guest shots on TV shows, eventually landing a regular spot on Magnum P.I., the hit series starring her old friend from Terminal Island, Tom Selleck. A year after that ended, she suddenly popped up in this film, an Andy Sidaris production. Even if she still fit the bill for a flick like this, the script pickings must have been slim for Davis to take part in a film by the boobs & gun-fixated auteur filmmaker Andy Sidaris (20 Feb 1931 – 7 Mar 2007).
Sidaris, for you who don't know him, was a successful sports show director who made his first feature film, a Roger Corman-produced T&A exploitation film about a female detective named Stacey (trailer) in 1973; it is perhaps his only film not to feature a Playboy Playmate in its cast. After a brief foray directing TV series, in 1979 he made Seven (1979 / trailer), his first movie to feature a Playmate (Susan Kiger), not to mention ninjas. In 1985, he more or less remade Stacey as Malibu Express (trailer), the unofficial first of all his "L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies" or "Girls with Guns" films, of which Guns is the fifth. Sidaris's films often feature reoccurring characters and actresses (often former Playmates; always with bodacious bodies), though the actresses did not always play the same characters as in earlier films (as is the case with Guns).
Trailer to
Guns:
Yum Yum, of the House of Self Indulgence, mentions: "You know what else I missed seeing during the last two Andy Sidaris films? Wow, you know me all too well. That's right, I'm missed the rampant transvestism. [...] Well, I'm happy to report that Guns finds transvestism back where it belongs. An Andy Sidaris film without cross-dressing is not a true Andy Sidaris film. And I'm even happier to report that it's back in a big way in Guns. How so? I got two words for you: Transvestite assassins! [...] If it couldn't get any worse for Dona Speir, she has to endure being upstaged by the gorgeous Phyllis Davis, who plays the attorney general of Nevada. And get this, we're supposed to believe that Phyllis Davis is Dona Speir's mother. Even though Phyllis is at least twenty years older than Dona (so, yeah, the math adds up), I thought, well, let's just say, their roles could have easily been reversed. Instead of seeing that as yet another slam against Dona Speir, I have chosen to view it as a compliment to Phyllis, who looks terrific with blonde hair. I also dug the pencil skirt/black stockings combination she wears throughout the film, as there's nothing sexier than a confident woman in her late forties who dresses for success."
The plot with commentary, from Through the Shattered Lens: "Juan 'Jack of Diamonds' Degas (telenovela star and future reality TV mainstay Erik Estrada) is an international gun dealer and an all-around sociopath. He's the type who shoots someone and then smirks about it. He's so evil that he's even got Danny Trejo (of Rise of the Zombies[2012] and 7 Mummies[2006]) working as his main henchman! That's really evil! Estrada gives a surprisingly good performance in the role. [...] Degas is planning on smuggling a bunch of Chinese weapons into America through a base on Hawaii. The only problem is that Donna (Dona Speir) and her new partner, Nicole Justin (Roberta Vasquez), are based in Hawaii! Degas knows that he has to get rid of them if he's going to have any hope of succeeding. (For whatever reason, it never occurs to Degas to smuggle the weapons through Guam or American Samoa. I mean, there are other islands out there.) When Degas sends two cross-dressing assassins to kill Nicole, they end up not only shooting the wrong woman but also killing a friend of Dona's as well. [...] In a typical example of Sidaris's make-it-up-as-you-go-along style of plotting, it turns out that Degas previously killed Donna's father. And now, it appears that it might get even more personal because Degas has kidnapped the Attorney General of Nevada (Phyllis Davis), who happens to be Donna's mother!"
"Andy Sidaris [...] is the Skinamax Alfred Hitchcock. This is the man whose contribution to late night cinema is as valuable as Hitchcock's work was to the mainstream. Sidaris [...] invented what I like to call the T.A.G. movie. T.A.G. of course stands for Tits and Guns. Although he made two films prior to the Skinamax boom, Sidaris is best known for the twelve T.A.G. extravaganzas he made from 1985 to 1998. [...] You know, out of the twelve Andy Sidaris Skinamax classics, this is probably my least favorite. Like Picasso Trigger (1988 / trailer), Guns makes the mistake of placing the emphasis on action instead of T&A. Having said that, it's still totally worthwhile. [...] Although the Skinamax Stats are pretty low, we should still take a look at them anyway. We get: two Guy on Girl scenes, one Dressing scene, one Undressing scene, one Baby Oil Wrestling Match, and one Two Chicks in a Shower scene. That means in 95 minutes, we get a sex scene every 16 minutes. Again, not a good ratio, but since this movie features an exploding Erik Estrada, I can't get too mad at it. [Video Vacuum]
Guns
sung by Cynthia Brimhall:
"A far more serious than usual entry in Andy Sidaris' 12 picture series featuring Playboy Playmates as gun-toting secret agents, Guns seems to have taken a cue from the recently released 007 film License to Kill (1989 / trailer) and offers a much more violent and less amusing storyline than what was usually expected of this franchise. The violence is far more vivid and realistic, while the goofy, tongue-in-cheek jokes and humor are mostly gone, and that's to the film's benefit. There's still plenty of nudity and some sex, but it's just not nearly as playful in this entry. [The Action Elite]"
Beverly Hills Cop III
(1994, dir. John Landis)
Trailer to
Beverly Hills Cop III:
Exit to Eden
(1994, dir. Garry Marshall)![]()
Occupational therapy, anyone? Phyllis Davis appears somewhere, uncredited, as a guest sitting at a table. Exit to Eden, a BDSM "comedy", is based on an Anne Rice, a.k.a. Howard Allen Frances O'Brien (4 Oct 1941 – 11 Dec 2021) novel of the same name, written before she found god and her books got really boring instead of just being boring. Not quite the kind of movie we here at a wasted life waste our time on, though its topic and status as a flop could temp us one day, especially since Dan Aykroyd, Rosie O'Donnell and director Garry Marshall [13 Nov 1934 – 19 Jul 2016] supposedly all later went on record, separately, as it being a film they each regret making. "There's limburger, there's Roquefort, there's gorgonzola, and there's Exit to Eden."
"The movie feels like that half way through filming someone realized that it was a BDSM movie with romance so they tried to pad it out with painfully bad comedy. Also this is an adaptation of an Anne Rice novel of the same name and she refuses to talk about this movie. The only three positive things about this movie are that is well done on a technical level, the actors are trying to make the horrible script to work and Dan Aykroyd's porn mustache. [The Gentlemen's Blog]"
Plot, as found at Reel Reviews: "Elliot (Paul Mercurio of Strictly Ballroom [1992 / trailer]) is a celebrated photographer with a penchant for being spanked (developed when he was a lad in Australia). He signs up for a trip to an exclusive B&D fantasy island, and, once there, falls hopelessly in thrall to Mistress Lisa (Dana Delany of Camp Hell [2010 / trailer] and Dead Man's Curve [1998 / trailer]), the raven-haired resort boss. Much to her surprise and dismay, she finds herself responding to this new, individualistic guest, and certain involuntary defense mechanisms spring into place. [...] Quite by accident, Elliot has taken the only existing photographs of super criminal Omar (Stuart Wilson of No Escape [1994]). Since Omar is incredibly camera shy, he and his cohort in crime Nina (Iman) follow Elliot to the island with the goal of killing him and retrieving the film. Fortunately, a pair of repressed Los Angeles cops (played by Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd) are hot on the trail. Everyone eventually ends up on Eden."
Trailer to
Exit to Eden:
Exit to Eden features the feature film debut of Penthouse Pet Sandra Taylor, a fact we mention as an excuse to embed a photo of her below. Sandra Tayler also happens to be in the next film as well, playing a train barmaid...![]()
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
(1995, dir. Geoff Murphy)![]()
Occupational therapy, anyone? The last film to feature the conscious involvement of Phyllis Davis: she plays "Hostage #3". Not the kind of movie we here at a wasted life waste our time on, as we really find Steven Seagal films a joke. Sure, we know he can fight, and that he's a tulku— the reincarnation of a Buddhist Lama, in this case Chungdrag Dorje — that doesn't take 'No' for an answer from women he finds hot, but he's also a lousy actor, on screen he always looks bloated (it is rumored he wore a girdle during this film to hide his excess weight), and his films are predictable and boring. We were never really thrilled by the directorial talents of Geoff Murphy (12 Oct 1938 – 3 Dec 2018), either, though we would perhaps give his 1985 film The Quiet Earth another go, were it to fall in our hands again.
Trailer to
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory:
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory is, obviously enough, a sequel to Under Siege (1992 / trailer), a film in which Seagal did not yet need a girdle to look less bloated. Katherine Heigl (of Bride of Chucky [1998], Bug Buster [1998] and Valentine[2001]), below from the film, was 16 when she made the US2:DT, looking even younger, something that allegedly didn't stop a 43-year-old Seagal, still married to Kelly LeBrock at the time, from hitting up on her.
The plot: "Having set himself up as restaurateur Casey Ryback (Seagal) tries to build bridges with his niece Sarah (Katherine Heigl) who he hasn't seen in years and wasn't there for when her parents died in a plane crash. Going on a train journey together Casey finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time when a group of mercenaries, lead by Travis Dane (Eric Bogosian of Don't Go into the Woods [2010 / trailer] and Blade: Trinity [2004 / trailer]), take control of the train in order to have a moving location to take control of a military satellite capable of mass destruction. With time running out Casey must use all his expert training to wrestle back control of the train and stop Dane from succeeding in destroying the Pentagon with the satellite. [Movie Scene]"
From Under Siege 2—
Casey's Farewell, After The Train Has Gone:
Celebrity Nude Review: Saucy 70's Volume 2
(2010, dir. Unknown)
More proof that nude scenes never go away — but then, how could they when there are people like us around? Calling this direct-to-video project a documentary is a bit of a stretch, as it is really just T&A of the past collected. Phyllis Davis is present, not by choice, by way of her nude scenes in Terminal Island (1973 — see Part I). Her name is considered well-known enough that she is even found on the video box cover.
"Films of the seventies were just bursting with onscreen nudity [...]. Hollywood isn't the only place to find beautiful actresses. The Saucy 70's Volume 2 has a distinct international flavor with dozens of A and B-movie ingénues from around the world [...]! The saucy 70s were an extraordinary period in cinema, sex and nudity in mainstream films exploded and new subgenres of films emerged. Nunsploitation, blaxploitation, grindhouse, woman-in-prison, European giallos and sex comedies, and of course, the ever-popular 'young woman's erotic journey' films that were so prevalent, took nudity in cinema to greater heights. Our sex in cinema retrospective uncovers long-forgotten gems buried for years as well as some of the most significant films in the history of sex on the screen. Controversial and groundbreaking films, you'll discover the most memorable and erotic scenes of the decade as well as insightful and controversial bios on each actress. In many cases it was their first and only nude appearance on film, making this a must-have reference guide to nudity in cinema. [Amazon]"
Babes Behind Bars
(2013, dir. Charles Band)
.png)
"Directed" by Charles Band, the famed trash-film director and producer, who has more films to his name than you have sperm in your jizz — Head of the Family (1996), anyone? — and "written" by Colin Rodgers, who went on to be a producer on Zombies Vs. Strippers (2012 / trailer) — not to be mistaken with Zombie Strippers (2008).
Despite the shared title, Band's Babes Behind Bars is not based on the 1962 sleaze paperback of the same title (cover above) — "The hard-bitten story of a young girl thrown into the most vicious web of carnality ever imagined... a woman's prison"— by "Alan Mora", otherwise known as "Lester Lake" (who know which, if either, name is the author's real name). No, this Babes Behind Bars is yet another "documentary" documenting the nude scenes of yesteryear of female actors, though in this case "documenting" means simply presenting mostly original trailers of yesteryear, spanning from Reform School Girl (1957 / trailer— with Yvette Vickers) to the WTF Asian flick, Haunted Jail House a.k.a. Jail House Eros a.k.a. Jian yu bu she fang (1990 / trailer below), with a few assorted outtakes and clips and some inane talk in between from the "hosts".
Trailer
to
Jail House Eros a.k.a. Jian yu bu she fang:
"Welcome to Babe Jail, where the best shower a girl can get is from the warden's hose, and interrogation always ends in intercourse! This outlandish compilation of trailers and clips spotlights the women-in-prison sub-genre of grindhouse exploitation films, which were most popular in the 70s and 80s. Hosted by the illegally-sexy 'Roxie' (Scream Queen Mindy Robinson) and her demented ogre-of-a-cellmate, 'Lavondra' (Robert Ramos), you've been sentenced to watch the best of the most degrading, perverse, and sadistically sexist filth ever sent to the slammer. The prison bars may be cold, but the babes are hot! [Full Moon]"
Trailer to
Babes Behind Bars:
"Charles Band's Grindhouse Flix company has been releasing some mighty fine trailer compilations as of late. Babes Behind Bars, their ode to Women in Prison movies, is no exception. While it's not perfect, it's hard to imagine any Women in Prison fan (or trailer compilation fan) walking away disappointed from this one. The Women in Prison genre is a vast one, but Babes Behind Bars does a good job of covering all the angles. Just about every classic Women in Prison movie is represented here. [...] I've seen many of the trailers before on other compilations, but it's still nice to have them all in one convenient collection. [Video Vacuum]"
Phyllis makes the cut with the trailers from Sweet Sugar (1972) and Terminal Island (1973), both of which we looked at in Part I.
Coming next — A forgotten Russ Meyer discovery:
Veronica Ericson